Random Factor... Like A Tractor

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Random factor, like a tractor...
by luckless_pedestrian on Sat 28 May 2011, 5:06 pm

Hello. Following its roaring success on the old 606 (winner of six Luckies*) I thought I'd provide a space on 606v2 for you to post any irrelevant little things you fancy sharing.

I'll start: I've always had trouble with the line 'Love grows where my Rosemary goes.' If they'd chosen another name like Anne or Susan there'd be no problem, but rosemary's a herb so it could be 'Love goes where my rosemary grows.'

I have grace in de feet.

And of course Henry the horse dances the waltz!

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

The bread knife?

The bun in the oven.

'Magpie' is short for 'magnificent pie' because early animal 'lovers' thought it was the 'best' of the entire crow family.

I have a ship on my shoulder.

This week, I is mostly eating giblets.

Joss Stone the Sheryl Crows.

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's, like, kind of an obscure number - you won't have heard of it.

"Death"- oh no!

"By snu snu"- Yeeeeh!

Hippity-Hip and a bit

I knitted the end pieces with the little tassels.

Pre-stressed concrete always cracks me up.

I love the smell of fresh concrete in the morning.... sawdust too!

The smell of progress!

Can't beat a good fart in the morning to clear the air.

That's our beach - Charlie don't surf.

Been to bed to prepare for a 5.40 wake-up, can't feckin sleep!!!

Why am I bricking it?

Unless I've missed something, all I have to do is turn on the TV and watch.

I must have missed something.

And Boots are really looking to press home the advantage card.

"she rolled her eyes at me. So I picked then up and gave them back to her. 'Will you get on my case?' she said. I said 'why? Is it too full?'"

Its all just a load of bollox isin't it? A tacky, badly-engineered, veneer, to prevent us all, from losing it completely. "The Truth? Nah dont tell de phhokers. They'd only freak out."

Go on. Tell me. I'll say nowt. You can level with me.

I can take it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

I went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, it hurts when I lift my arm".

He said, "So don't do it".

'Doctor, doctor, I feel like a sandwich.'

'There's a Greggs across the road, son.'

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm in love with you, will you kiss me?

I'm a professional madam, I shouldn't even be feeling your breasts.

Doctor: "I've finished your breast exam, madam, and I have some good news and some bad news."

Female Patient: "Oh no. What the good news?"

Doctor: "You are in perfect health, and in very good shape, madam".

Female Patient: "Oh. I see. Well, what's the bad news?"

Man: "I'm actually the janitor".

Doctor to female patient.

I see, well, the only thing for it Madam is to weigh your breasts.

Go ahead Doctor

WAHAY! (grope)

You've got a face like a dropped meat pie.

I can roll my @rse.

What, like your Tongue?

Yes, I like my tongue. What's your point?

How do you like your tongue...in a sandwich?

With chutney.

I loves Gene Chutney I does. And hes only... 24 hours from Tulsa.

I was only...24 hours from salsa!"

Then I'd lose 40lbs......PORKING HIS WIFE!

Are you Gowershowerpower?

Glas a du wrote:Are you Gowershowerpower?

Me?.....Seriously?

He's the only one I've heard using the term 'porking the wife'

What was the other one - pie bashing!

Rikki don't lose that cucumber...

Why did Renault choose a robot's fanny as their logo?

CAR MART

HENS HIRE

luckless_pedestrian wrote:Why did Renault choose a robot's fanny as their logo?

Because they are French!

"How much longer are you going to spend glued to the TV?"

"It's only on once very FOUR YEARS !!!!!!!"

Touch my bum, this is life...

Fancy.

Parrot talk

Parrot talk

Glas a du wrote:He's the only one I've heard using the term 'porking the wife'

What was the other one - pie bashing!

It's a quote from Ace ventura! Gowershowerpower indeed, the nerve! How very dare you