Friday Fun! Boxing riddles!

First topic message reminder :

Are we allowed to have fun anymore? Are we going to create a new section for riddles?! Time to find out!

Anyway, i ran this on the old 606 and i must say it was an inspirational success! Answers will be updated as we go with new ones added if i can be bothered...

LAST 2 AS IVE HAD ENOUGH OF BIRD-GATE!

9) Ricky Hatton has 13 pints of guiness, he takes 4 away. How many does he have?

4

10) Ricky Hatton, Floyd Mayweather, Jose Castillo, George Foreman and Kevin Mitchell are all walking to church when it starts peeing down... 4 try to peg it for the church but get wet and the other stays still but is dry.... How?



7) Bob Arum walks into a room and finds that Brandon Rios has ended it all by hanging himself, his hands were tied and there was nothing to jump off to hang himself... all that was there was Rios and a puddle of water. How did he do it?

Stood on a block of ice and waited for it to melt.

8) Chris Eubank is driving his big giant truck that weights 5000kg across a bridge that can hold an absolute maximum of 5000kg. He gets halfway across and big fat (Truss) pesky hitchhiker jumps onto the back of his truck... yet the bridge doesn't collapse. Why?

the truck burnt off enough fuel (very long bridge you see) by that point

5) Ricky Hatton is 5'6, has a 65" reach, 50" chest, 30" inside leg and wears size 8 shoes and he's got a new job! He's a junior assistant at his brother Daves butchers! What does he weigh?

Meat

6) Mayweather Jr and Oscar de la Hoya are locked up in a cell for murdering Bob Arum. It's got a really high ceiling with an unbarred window at the top they can't reach as it's like 50ft away. They prison perimeter walls are 3 miles away so tunnelling out would take them too many years. How do they escape?

Dig a whole and use the soil to get upto the window!


3) Who got wet standing under an umbrella? Mayweather Jr, Vitali Klitschko, Ricky Hatton, a monkey, a shark or Calderon?

No-one got wet as i never said it was raining!

4) Erik Morales walks into a bar and asks for a cup of water, the barman pulls a shotgun on him. Morales then walks out and says thank you. Why?

He had hiccups



1) Floyd Mayweather Jr has been a very naughty boy and was found guilty of poking people in the eye. The judge was about to sentence him and the judge told him, "You may make on last statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After Mayweather Jr his statement, the judge let him go free. What did the man say?

Gentleman01 wrote:1) "You will sentence me to 6 years in prison". If the Judge decrees that FMJ was lying he must sentence him to 6 years. However, by doing so he will render FMJ's statement true. In that case he is compelled to sentence him to 4 years. However, in doing so he will make FMJ's statement false, in which case he is bound to sentence him to 6 years which, as shown, will render FMJ's statement true, and so on and so on etc.. As such the Judge is left with no option but to release FMJ

2) Manny Pacquiao has a huge sock drawer which contains 6 black socks, 4 brown socks, 8 white socks, and 2 tan socks, how many socks would Pacquiao have to pull out in the dark to be sure you had a matching pair?

Rowley got it right, oh dear: Five. There are only four colors, so five socks guarantee that two will be the same color.

Ta

Coxy

Let me assume the role of D4...a duck?

I would like to see the court case in which two birds are convicted of murder.

Dear god he has already confirmed I've got it right, they would dig a tunnel and use the dirt to climb to the window.

Has to be an eagle for the American too.

So that's it, a pair of 'jailbirds'.

rowley wrote:Dear god he has already confirmed I've got it right, they would dig a tunnel and use the dirt to climb to the window.

Calm down Googly McGoogleson.

Union Cane wrote:

alma wrote:6. Presumably they are birds (i.e. can fly up to the unbarred window)

I do believe you've got it alma, they are birds called Mayweather Jr and Oscar de la Hoya.

I wonder what sort of birds they are. As a Mexican DLH would have to be an eagle, as depicted on their national flag. What would Mayweather be?

Not a penguin, that wouldn't work.

A magpie. They like shiny objects.

Scottrf wrote:

rowley wrote:Dear god he has already confirmed I've got it right, they would dig a tunnel and use the dirt to climb to the window.

Calm down Googly McGoogleson.

Still bitter I beat you on the meat question I see Scott

Lets not talk about beating on meat.

Probably wise, god knows I have little desire to set coxy off on one of his inexplicable Diana Vickers rants

rowley wrote:Dear god he has already confirmed I've got it right, they would dig a tunnel and use the dirt to climb to the window.

That doesn't get them past the perimeter wall which is 3 miles away though does it.

Union Cane wrote:

rowley wrote:Dear god he has already confirmed I've got it right, they would dig a tunnel and use the dirt to climb to the window.

That doesn't get them past the perimeter wall which is 3 miles away though does it.

I think coxy added something to an existing riddle that he shouldn't have to be honest.

Then he is a fool. I still think it is the birds. They could fly over the wall.

Scottrf wrote:

Union Cane wrote:

rowley wrote:Dear god he has already confirmed I've got it right, they would dig a tunnel and use the dirt to climb to the window.

That doesn't get them past the perimeter wall which is 3 miles away though does it.

I think coxy added something to an existing riddle that he shouldn't have to be honest.

No wonder it was so hard to find, I mean work out

Birds dont commit murder though do they.

joeyjojo618 wrote:Birds dont commit murder though do they.

They do in Peckham.

(works on so many levels)

How much earth would they need to excavate in order to make a pile 50ft high though? It must be the largest cell in the world, as they would have to dig from one area and pile it up somewhere else, or the natural spreading of the mud would cause it to fall back down the hole. Where did they get the spades? Why did no guards notice what they were doing? How did they get down from the other side of the 50ft high window? Too many unanswerable questions.

They are birds, its the only plausible answer.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

joeyjojo618 wrote:Birds dont commit murder though do they.

They do in Peckham.

(works on so many levels)

Apart from a comedic one, now crime in a multi story car park is wrong on so many levels.

rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

joeyjojo618 wrote:Birds dont commit murder though do they.

They do in Peckham.

(works on so many levels)

Apart from a comedic one, now crime in a multi story car park is wrong on so many levels.

Just too subtle for you Jeff. Nothing to be ashamed of.

rowley wrote:Apart from a comedic one, now crime in a multi story car park is wrong on so many levels.

That reminds me of an old Tim Vine joke...

"Crime in a multi story car park is wrong on so many levels"

Ok, 2 new ones!

Well you didn't think I wrote it myself did you Union, velcro, what a rip off, got to love Tim Vine

Stood on a lump of ice and waited for it to melt

Union Cane wrote:Then he is a fool. I still think it is the birds. They could fly over the wall.

No, they are not birds. They use the soil to make a mound upto the window.

When i say "Marquez went down his local..." i'm not secretely saying he's a pig, or any other animal.

rowley wrote:Stood on a lump of ice and waited for it to melt

You're banned.

He's not driving his truck?

Scottrf wrote:He's not driving his truck?

No, he's still in the truck... the truck can't drive itself

Number 6 is birds coxy.

To create a pile 50 feet high, you would need roughly 1125 cubic metres of earth. Excavated earth has a density of about 1442kg/m3, so to make our pile we would need to excavate 1,622,250 kgs of earth, or to put it another way approx 1600 metric tons. This equates to around 64 lorry loads. Clearly, this is ridiculous. They are birds.

Union Cane wrote:Number 6 is birds coxy.

To create a pile 50 feet high, you would need roughly 1125 cubic metres of earth. Excavated earth has a density of about 1442kg/m3, so to make our pile we would need to excavate 1,622,250 kgs of earth, or to put it another way approx 1600 metric tons. This equates to around 64 lorry loads. Clearly, this is ridiculous. They are birds.

No, they ARE NOT birds.

And you can stick your maths up your arris.

Well, if he's half-way across the bridge then it stands to reason that the hitchhiker is already on the bridge in order to jump on the back of the truck.

If the bridge is short enough, perhaps the truck is long enough to have it's front wheels off the bridge by the time the hitchhiker jumps on?

Or if the bridge is long enough then perhaps the amount of fuel that has been burnt driving halfway across the bridge has sufficiently reduced the overall weight of the truck enough to support Truss' extra load?

Enough fuel to balance out Truss' bulk, there are jet planes that don't burn fuel that fast.

coxy0001 wrote:

Scottrf wrote:He's not driving his truck?

No, he's still in the truck... the truck can't drive itself

I didn't realise the his at the start of the sentence, thought the hitchhiker jumped on a different truck.

Gentleman01 wrote:Well, if he's half-way across the bridge then it stands to reason that the hitchhiker is already on the bridge in order to jump on the back of the truck.

If the bridge is short enough, perhaps the truck is long enough to have it's front wheels off the bridge by the time the hitchhiker jumps on?

Or if the bridge is long enough then perhaps the amount of fuel that has been burnt driving halfway across the bridge has sufficiently reduced the overall weight of the truck enough to support Truss' extra load?

But Eubank has weight himself, so the weight would have been over the limit at the start of the bridge.

Several birds are attached to the truck, their upward pulling motion is enough to counteract the added weight of the fat bloke.

If 6 is open to a stewards inquiry I want to propose a rope made out of Oscars intestines.

joeyjojo618 wrote:If 6 is open to a stewards inquiry I want to propose a rope made out of Oscars intestines.

Oscar is an eagle, the rope wouldn't be long enough.

Scottrf wrote:

Gentleman01 wrote:Well, if he's half-way across the bridge then it stands to reason that the hitchhiker is already on the bridge in order to jump on the back of the truck.

If the bridge is short enough, perhaps the truck is long enough to have it's front wheels off the bridge by the time the hitchhiker jumps on?

Or if the bridge is long enough then perhaps the amount of fuel that has been burnt driving halfway across the bridge has sufficiently reduced the overall weight of the truck enough to support Truss' extra load?

But Eubank has weight himself, so the weight would have been over the limit at the start of the bridge.

A salient point, although I think we are to presuppose that the Truck weighs 5,00kg including the weight of Chris Eubank. This does of course beg the question, does Eubank weigh 160 or 168lbs?

rowley wrote:Enough fuel to balance out Truss' bulk, there are jet planes that don't burn fuel that fast.

Yup, that is the correct answer.... I may have neglectd to mention the bridge was 3729 miles long.....

2 new ones coming up!

coxy0001 wrote:

rowley wrote:Enough fuel to balance out Truss' bulk, there are jet planes that don't burn fuel that fast.

Yup, that is the correct answer.... I may have neglectd to mention the bridge was 3729 miles long.....

2 new ones coming up!

But it would have been over the limit at the start of the bridge...

Union Cane wrote:Several birds are attached to the truck, their upward pulling motion is enough to counteract the added weight of the fat bloke.

Or, there are so many birds sitting on the truck that their sum weight is equal to the 15st of pure American beefcake which jumps aboard uninvited. At that exact moment the entire flock of birds flies off the truck in a Indian Jones-esque switch of weight distribution?

While we are opening enquiries, 2) isn't correct. You guarantee the same colour, but not necessarily a pair.

Should be 11 assuming there are equal numbers of L/R sided socks.

Fill the 5 gallons and pour it into the 3 gallon jug, pour the 3 gallons away so you're left with 2 in the 5 gallon jug. Put that in the 3 gallon jug and refill the 5 gallon jug. Pour from the 5 gallon jug into the 3 untill its full leaving 4 gallons in the 5 gallon jug.

This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.

Scottrf wrote:While we are opening enquiries, 2) isn't correct. You guarantee the same colour, but not necessarily a pair.

Should be 11 assuming there are equal numbers of L/R sided socks.

You have specific socks for your left and right foot Scott, how much do you pay for your socks? They must be beauties

rowley wrote:

Scottrf wrote:While we are opening enquiries, 2) isn't correct. You guarantee the same colour, but not necessarily a pair.

Should be 11 assuming there are equal numbers of L/R sided socks.

You have specific socks for your left and right foot Scott, how much do you pay for your socks? They must be beauties

Tailored. Do you not? Surely they don't fit well?

9 Ten

10) Ricky Hatton, Floyd Mayweather, Jose Castillo, George Foreman and Kevin Mitchell are all walking to church when it starts peeing down... 4 try to peg it for the church but get wet and the other stays still but is dry.... How?

Would guess he was under cover at the time it started raining so he simply stayed under cover

rowley wrote:9 Ten

Nope. And i'm going to need to reword it as i've had a shocker

They are standing inside/under a bus shelter.

4 then

No, they're out in the open