THE "Make your own Limerick up" THREAD

[Guest]

First topic message reminder :

For those of you just itchin' to wax lyrical.....

Just copy and paste the first and/or consecutive lines, and add your next one. (five lines in total)

One only though!

I'll start you off.

There once was goat from Llandudlow,

[Corporalhumblebucket]

If you ever get lost in a cave,
And you don't want to dig your own grave
Then carry a torch in your pocket,
Some string and a booster rocket

[Kenny]

If you ever get lost in a cave,
And you don't want to dig your own grave
Then carry a torch in your pocket,
Some string and a booster rocket,
Alternatley call my mate Dave !

[Solerina]

Dont laugh but im really quite happy,
Blindfolded, head in a nappy.
The smell is quite rank,
The atmosphere's dank
I'm a niffy nappy satisfied chappy

LOL!

We should publish some of these!

[Kenny]

My Grandad said ' make mine a double ',

[Corporalhumblebucket]

My Grandad said ' make mine a double '.
A sure sign we were in for trouble

[The Galveston Giant]

My Grandad said ' make mine a double '.
A sure sign we were in for trouble
Left hooks and rights

[Kenny]

My Grandad said ' make mine a double '.
A sure sign we were in for trouble
Left hooks and rights,
He does love his fights ,

[Corporalhumblebucket]

My Grandad said ' make mine a double '.
A sure sign we were in for trouble
Left hooks and rights,
He does love his fights ,
The old folks home soon left as rubble.....

[Kenny]

[Kenny]

There once was a man called Frank,

[Luckless Pedestrian]

There once was a man called Frank,
Whose armpits and @rse really stank.

[Kenny]

There once was a man called Frank,
Whose armpits and @rse really stank.
He'd tried lots of soaps,

[Corporalhumblebucket]

There once was a man called Frank,
Whose armpits and @rse really stank.
He'd tried lots of soaps,
Which briefly raised our hopes

[Kenny]

There once was a man called Frank,
Whose armpits and @rse really stank.
He'd tried lots of soaps,
Which briefly raised our hopes,
But in the end still smelt really rank

[Corporalhumblebucket]

Out ski-ing with William Hague

[Kenny]

Out ski-ing with William Hague,
His sexuallity was really quite vague ,

[Corporalhumblebucket]

Out ski-ing with William Hague,
His sexuallity was really quite vague,
We went faster downhill..

[Kenny]

Out ski-ing with William Hague,
His sexuallity was really quite vague,
We went rapidly downhill..
When ha asked ' are you on the pill ? '

[Corporalhumblebucket]

Out ski-ing with William Hague,
His sexuallity was really quite vague,
We went faster downhill..
When ha asked ' are you on the pill ? '
On last night's promise he then did renege.*



* we should make clear that the last five lines of this limerick exist only for the purposes of literary invention. No undertaking was given by or sought from anyone of the name of William Hague, or any person actual or body corporate acting on his behalf. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental..

[Kenny]

[littleswannygirl]

[Kenny]

Follow the yellow brick road ,

[littleswannygirl]

Follow the yellow brick road ,
But do please avoid the toad,

[Kenny]

Follow the yellow brick road ,
But do please avoid the toad,
He is really quite slimy

[littleswannygirl]

Follow the yellow brick road ,
But do please avoid the toad,
He is really quite slimy
You'll hear him shout 'Cor blimey!'

[Kenny]

Follow the yellow brick road ,
But do please avoid the toad,
He is really quite slimy
You'll hear him shout 'Cor blimey!,
As you try to get rid of your load .

[Pal Joey]

In the foreseeable future,

[Luckless Pedestrian]

In the foreseeable future,
I'm going to get a French tutor,

[Pal Joey]

In the foreseeable future,
I'm going to get a French tutor,
To brush up my skills,

[Kenny]

In the foreseeable future,
I'm going to get a French tutor,
To brush up my skills,
To help pay all the bills ,

[Pal Joey]

In the foreseeable future,
I'm going to get a French tutor,
To brush up my skills,
To help pay all the bills ,
For the au-pair I'll hire in Mamoudzou.

[Kenny]

There once was a queen and her king ,

[littleswannygirl]

There once was a queen and her king ,
Who both liked to have a good sing,

[Kenny]

There once was a queen and her king ,
Who both liked to have a good sing,
He was soprano and she was falsetto,

[littleswannygirl]

There once was a queen and her king ,
Who both liked to have a good sing,
He was soprano and she was falsetto,
And the piano supplied by Geppetto,

[Kenny]

There once was a queen and her king ,
Who both liked to have a good sing,
He was soprano and she was falsetto,
And the piano supplied by Geppetto,
Made them sound like good old Bing .

[littleswannygirl]

The traffic had stopped on the bridge,

[Kenny]

The traffic had stopped on the bridge,
A lorry had dropped off a Fridge,

[Corporalhumblebucket]

The traffic had stopped on the bridge,
A lorry had dropped off a Fridge,
The ice box flew open

[Pal Joey]

The traffic had stopped on the bridge,
A lorry had dropped off a Fridge,
The ice box flew open,
And out popped a penguin,

[Luckless Pedestrian]

The traffic had stopped on the bridge,
A lorry had dropped off a Fridge,
The ice box flew open,
And out popped a penguin,
Mid-sex with a well-endowed midge.

[Corporalhumblebucket]

Hi all limerick contributors. Just to mention I have started a separate thread (also in the quizz & games section) where any of the best of the limericks from this thread could be copied. I have put in one for starters....

Various people have suggested we should publish some of the limericks. I don't know whether that's feasible. But at the least we could make sure that the really good ones don't get lost in the hundreds of posts on the main thread. Maybe when we have got suggestions for top 10 or top 6 or whatever we could have a poll for the best 606v2 limerick!

[Pal Joey]

@ lucky

Good idea Corporal.

A fearless young boar in the forest,

[Luckless Pedestrian]

A fearless young boar in the forest,
Sneaked up on a pretty young florist,

[Corporalhumblebucket]

A fearless young boar in the forest,
Sneaked up on a pretty young florist,
He took her out to lunch
What a bore - but anyway thanks a bunch!


{Sorry couldn't resist doing two lines - feel free to cancel !}

[Kenny]

A fearless young boar in the forest,
Sneaked up on a pretty young florist,
He took her out to lunch
What a bore - but anyway thanks a bunch!
But was then spit roasted by her and a tourist.

[Corporalhumblebucket]

[Kenny]

Marching one day into Surrey ,

[Pal Joey]

Marching one day into Surrey ,
I was craving some Indian curry,

[Kenny]

Marching one day into Surrey ,
I was craving some Indian curry,
So rang ahead for a table,

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