Friday Fun! Boxing riddles.........!

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:29 pm

The return! Yes, i have sweet f.a. to do!

Ok, straight in..... (orange answers have been done)

George Foreman goes and buys a 6'8 plank of wood. He attempts to board a train but the conductor says items of 6ft aren't allowed. He goes back into town, buys one more thing and the conductor allows him on the train. What did he buy?

One morning Richard Shaefer is about to board a plane at midday before he realises he's forgotten some condoms for the air stewardess... He goes back and the security guard tells him not to board the plane as he just had a dream it was going to crash. Schaefer agrees and stays in the office. He then hears the plane crash, gives the security guard £1000 and then fires him at the same time. Why did he fire him?

A tramp is sitting in a karaoke pub when in walks Manny Pacquiao! Determined to trump Pacquiao the tramp says "i can sing any song that's ever been made"... The tramp then bets Pacquiao £50 he can sing a song of Manny's choice with a ladies name in it.... Manny giggles and tells him to sing one about his wife Jinkee.... He starts singing and Manny is forced to cough up - what song did he sing?

Happy bithday

Manny Pacquiao can only afford an old banger, and guess what - it's broken down on the way to see his "special" nutrionist. Manny decided to go for help and before going made sure they car was secure, the windows up, doors locked etc man. When he came back his wife was dead! He cried and cried and then realised there was a stranger in the car.... But the doors weren't damaged, no windows smashed etc - how did the stranger get in and how did they kill Jinkee?

She died in childbirth

Floyd Mayweather has built something but doesn't want it. Manny Pacquiao buys it but doesn't have a use for it. The person who uses it doesn't know why.

What is it?!

A coffin

Bob Arum has been a naughty boy and gets the death penalty for being a corrupt Bar Steward. He has a choice of 3 types of death.

1) By firing squad
2) By being put in a tank with tiger sharks... with laser beams attached to their fins
3) Put in a room with a load of bears who haven't eaten for 2 years

Which is the safest option to survive death?

3 - they're dead from starvation

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:29 pm

And my word is final.

Any bloody birdgate, coffingate will not be tolerated.

Respect my authoritayyyyy

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:29 pm

Bird shield.
----------------------------

Bird cage.

by 6oldenbhoy Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:30 pm

The first one is bears. They havent eaten in 2 years annd so are dead

by Michaels, Sean Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:31 pm

The tank as long as it is resistant to the sharks lasers......

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:31 pm

c) A pack of bears must be Haribo Gummy Bears because the collective noun for bears is a sleuth.

by Rowley Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:33 pm

6oldenbhoy wrote:The first one is bears. They havent eaten in 2 years annd so are dead

Could also depend what type of bears they are Koala bears are not meat eaters so he would be pretty safe no matter how peckish they were.

by **Fists of Fury** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:33 pm

I thought it was a sloth of bears? Happily stand corrected, though.

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:34 pm

Oh christ

Pack of bears, sleuth... who cares?!

by **ShahenshahG** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:35 pm

Firing Squad - The other two will eat carrion.

by 6oldenbhoy Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:37 pm

rowley wrote:
6oldenbhoy wrote:The first one is bears. They havent eaten in 2 years annd so are dead

Could also depend what type of bears they are Koala bears are not meat eaters so he would be pretty safe no matter how peckish they were.

Technically a Koala isn't actually a bear. It's a marsupial.

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:38 pm

6oldenbhoy wrote:
rowley wrote:
6oldenbhoy wrote:The first one is bears. They havent eaten in 2 years annd so are dead

Could also depend what type of bears they are Koala bears are not meat eaters so he would be pretty safe no matter how peckish they were.

Technically a Koala isn't actually a bear. It's a marsupial.

I don't have time for technicalities..

Moving on.

by Rowley Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:38 pm

6oldenbhoy wrote:
rowley wrote:
6oldenbhoy wrote:The first one is bears. They havent eaten in 2 years annd so are dead

Could also depend what type of bears they are Koala bears are not meat eaters so he would be pretty safe no matter how peckish they were.

Technically a Koala isn't actually a bear. It's a marsupial.

Thanks, they do say every day is a school day.

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:38 pm

Gummi bears are an inanimate object, they aren't dead.

by 6oldenbhoy Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:38 pm

Can the bears be hungry if they are dead? The feeling of hunger can not be experienced by dead people/bears.

by **Union Cane** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:39 pm

"Which is the safest option to survive death?"

Is it possible to survive death?

I fear not.

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:40 pm

Another shambles of a riddle.

by Rowley Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:41 pm

Union Cane wrote:"Which is the safest option to survive death?"

Is it possible to survive death?

I fear not.

Very good point Union, you can survive impending death or grave danger but death is pretty final, unless you believe in reincarnation and even then it is more a belief than anything cast iron that can be relied on to happen.

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:42 pm

Anyone fancy guessing the remaining one?!

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:43 pm

Does it has as many errors as the first one? If some might as well draw random words out of a hat.

by **Union Cane** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:43 pm

Is it "a reputation"?

by SugarRayRussell (PBK) Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:43 pm

rowley wrote:
Union Cane wrote:"Which is the safest option to survive death?"

Is it possible to survive death?

I fear not.

Very good point Union, you can survive impending death or grave danger but death is pretty final, unless you believe in reincarnation and even then it is more a belief than anything cast iron that can be relied on to happen.

What about people that are being operated and technically die even if it's only for a minute then get revived? Surely that is surviving death? A tad pedantic I know it's a slow day!

by 6oldenbhoy Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:45 pm

Also, the flaw with my answer is if the bears had been been kept on drips, providing them with all the vitamins and minerals they needed they could still be alive theoretically despite not having eaten for 2 years.

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:45 pm

Takes until the 21st post to get a good riddle on this thread...

by **Union Cane** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:45 pm

A house.

by **Fists of Fury** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:45 pm

I guess they wouldn't have survived it, as they succumbed to it, just recovered from it, I'd suggest? Might be wrong, but a different angle on it nevertheless!

by **Union Cane** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:47 pm

coxy0001 wrote:And my word is final.

Any bloody birdgate, coffingate will not be tolerated.

Respect my authoritayyyyy

A bird.

What was coffingate, did I miss that one?

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:47 pm

No, you're all wrong

A new one is up...

And Scott - they're both bulletproof...... i hope

by 6oldenbhoy Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:49 pm

left the sunroof open, or its a convertible.

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:50 pm

They were in the car before he left.

by SugarRayRussell (PBK) Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:50 pm

What size is the man who killed Jinky?

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:50 pm

6oldenbhoy wrote:left the sunroof open, or its a convertible.

The car was SECURE from i.e. people thiefing his wallet off the passenger seat. So no, it wasn't a convertible or had a sunroof open.

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:52 pm

Don't moan but i kinda missed off the last part of the Pacquiao riddle.....

by 6oldenbhoy Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:52 pm

Was the stranger a snake and climbing n from the bottom, under the gap between the pedals?

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:53 pm

The stranger was let in, Jinkee wasn't in the car, the stranger was there before he left, loads of options.

by **Union Cane** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:54 pm

The wife died of asphyxiation due to the car being air-tight, and the stranger was the re-incarnated version of said wife.

by **Union Cane** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:54 pm

A coffin.

by 6oldenbhoy Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:54 pm

The stranger was a ghost?

by **Fists of Fury** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:55 pm

Jinkee also had a set of keys. The stranger murdered her, stole her keys, and got in the car.

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:55 pm

The roof collapsed and a bird got in.

by SugarRayRussell (PBK) Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:55 pm

Is the person in the car a figment of Manny's imagination? Like in that film with DeNiro and the little girl where DeNiro kills people and the little girl imagines it to be someone else?

by **Union Cane** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:56 pm

A bird dug a hole under the car and the resulting pile meant that the wife could get out of the window.

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:56 pm

Union got the coffin one....!

by SugarRayRussell (PBK) Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:57 pm

Did he kill her with his man sausage?

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:57 pm

Union Cane wrote:A bird dug a hole under the car and the resulting pile meant that the wife could get out of the window.

Stop it!

Very funny though

And no - i'm looking for how she died and how they got in the car (they're massively conected)

by **Union Cane** Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:57 pm

coxy0001 wrote:Union got the coffin one....!

I did?

Which one was it?

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:59 pm

Union Cane wrote:
coxy0001 wrote:Union got the coffin one....!

I did?

Which one was it?

See above......................

Jesus wept

by SugarRayRussell (PBK) Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:59 pm

Did Manny kill her and pay a crack head to take the blame hence the man in the car?

by coxy0001 Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:00 pm

prettyboykev wrote:Did Manny kill her and pay a crack head to take the blame hence the man in the car?

No.

by Scottrf Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:01 pm

He got in through the exhaust but in doing so the fumes stayed in the car and killed her.

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