Friday Fun! Boxing riddles.........!

First topic message reminder :

The return! Yes, i have sweet f.a. to do!

Ok, straight in..... (orange answers have been done)

George Foreman goes and buys a 6'8 plank of wood. He attempts to board a train but the conductor says items of 6ft aren't allowed. He goes back into town, buys one more thing and the conductor allows him on the train. What did he buy?



One morning Richard Shaefer is about to board a plane at midday before he realises he's forgotten some condoms for the air stewardess... He goes back and the security guard tells him not to board the plane as he just had a dream it was going to crash. Schaefer agrees and stays in the office. He then hears the plane crash, gives the security guard £1000 and then fires him at the same time. Why did he fire him?

A tramp is sitting in a karaoke pub when in walks Manny Pacquiao! Determined to trump Pacquiao the tramp says "i can sing any song that's ever been made"... The tramp then bets Pacquiao £50 he can sing a song of Manny's choice with a ladies name in it.... Manny giggles and tells him to sing one about his wife Jinkee.... He starts singing and Manny is forced to cough up - what song did he sing?

Happy bithday

Manny Pacquiao can only afford an old banger, and guess what - it's broken down on the way to see his "special" nutrionist. Manny decided to go for help and before going made sure they car was secure, the windows up, doors locked etc man. When he came back his wife was dead! He cried and cried and then realised there was a stranger in the car.... But the doors weren't damaged, no windows smashed etc - how did the stranger get in and how did they kill Jinkee?

She died in childbirth

Floyd Mayweather has built something but doesn't want it. Manny Pacquiao buys it but doesn't have a use for it. The person who uses it doesn't know why.

What is it?!

A coffin

Bob Arum has been a naughty boy and gets the death penalty for being a corrupt Bar Steward. He has a choice of 3 types of death.

1) By firing squad
2) By being put in a tank with tiger sharks... with laser beams attached to their fins
3) Put in a room with a load of bears who haven't eaten for 2 years

Which is the safest option to survive death?

3 - they're dead from starvation

If it's not been solved i'll be revealing at 4.45pm before i go @ 5.......

It's a toughie. That and i get to run from the flak as Scott/Union/Most others are liable to kick off again

She died in childbirth

Did he leave his key in the door?

Scottrf wrote:He got in through the exhaust but in doing so the fumes stayed in the car and killed her.

How many people have you seen entering a car through the exhaust?

Rossi wrote:She died in childbirth

BINGO

coxy0001 wrote:

Scottrf wrote:He got in through the exhaust but in doing so the fumes stayed in the car and killed her.

How many people have you seen entering a car through the exhaust?

I normally have to alter reality to solve your riddles.

coxy0001 wrote:

Rossi wrote:She died in childbirth

BINGO

W.T.F!?

So while inside Jinkee the child wasn't in the car? Where exactly was her womb located?

He left the handbrake off and the car rolled into a strange parallel universe, where wives die and strangers appear in apparently locked vehicles.

Union Cane wrote:He left the handbrake off and the car rolled into a strange parallel universe, where wives die and strangers appear in apparently locked vehicles.

Union is such a brilliant poster.

Agreed.

More riddles please...

Pacquiao, Mayweather and Khan are in a plane that crashes directly on the border between Canada and America. All non-PED users die. In which country is Pacquiao buried?

The Philippines?

Nowhere Bob Arum will feed off his remains like the vulture he truly is.

Is the top one Happy Birthday coxy?

Both incorrect.

The security guard was on a temporary contract and missed the event he was supposed to be flying to by not getting on the plane.

Fires him for sleeping on the job

sodhat wrote:Is the top one Happy Birthday coxy?

Correct

Was mine right Coxy?

He was in charge of security for a boxer on the plane.

Scottrf wrote:So while inside Jinkee the child wasn't in the car? Where exactly was her womb located?

Jinkee gave birth in the car (hence the stranger), she then died outside the car...

The security guard worked part-time as a human cannonball.

coxy0001 wrote:

Scottrf wrote:So while inside Jinkee the child wasn't in the car? Where exactly was her womb located?

Jinkee gave birth in the car (hence the stranger), she then died outside the car...

So I was right, the stranger was inside the car the whole time.

rowley wrote:Fires him for sleeping on the job

Boom, right

Ok gimme a couple of mins and i'll do 2 more

Scottrf wrote:

coxy0001 wrote:

Scottrf wrote:So while inside Jinkee the child wasn't in the car? Where exactly was her womb located?

Jinkee gave birth in the car (hence the stranger), she then died outside the car...

So I was right, the stranger was inside the car the whole time.

Read the question

A saw to chop it in half?

George Foreman bought a saw, cutting the plank of wood in half, and then cut himself off at the knee, as being 6'3 and a bit himself he wouldn't have been allowed on the train.

6 Foot 8 =/= 6 Foot.

Did he buy a tape measure?

No

And note i said ITEMS hence why he's allowed on!

Aaah is this the one about buying a 6ft box? Then fits it in diagonally or something?

Fists of Fury wrote:Aaah is this the one about buying a 6ft box? Then fits it in diagonally or something?

Bloody hell.

Ok i'm giving up as searching/writing for riddles takes donkeys and then some smart arris gets it inside 2 mins.

I'm going to write loads for next Fridays frolocking fun.

At least my riddles were bang on watertight this week eh

coxy0001 wrote:

Fists of Fury wrote:Aaah is this the one about buying a 6ft box? Then fits it in diagonally or something?

Bloody hell.

Ok i'm giving up as searching/writing for riddles takes donkeys and then some smart arris gets it inside 2 mins.

I'm going to write loads for next Fridays frolocking fun.

At least my riddles were bang on watertight this week eh

Shocking. You meant items over 6ft long, or 6 foot and longer.

Details Scott, they are only details.

Yeah but when you find a solution to the riddle, and it's intended to mean something else it can be frustrating.

Scottrf wrote:

coxy0001 wrote:

Fists of Fury wrote:Aaah is this the one about buying a 6ft box? Then fits it in diagonally or something?

Bloody hell.

Ok i'm giving up as searching/writing for riddles takes donkeys and then some smart arris gets it inside 2 mins.

I'm going to write loads for next Fridays frolocking fun.

At least my riddles were bang on watertight this week eh

Shocking. You meant items over 6ft long, or 6 foot and longer.

Look, it was watertight.

I'll write an easy one and PM you it next week, ok?

I'd rather you just wrote an accurate one.

Scottrf wrote:I'd rather you just wrote an accurate one.

That would spoil it, the fun is in picking them apart.

My riddle is the only one left then...

Scottrf wrote:My riddle is the only one left then...

What is yours scott?

rowley wrote:

Scottrf wrote:My riddle is the only one left then...

What is yours scott?

Pacquiao, Mayweather and Khan are in a plane that crashes directly on the border between Canada and America. All non-PED users die. In which country is Pacquiao buried?

You don't bury survivors.

Scottrf wrote:

rowley wrote:

Scottrf wrote:My riddle is the only one left then...

What is yours scott?

Pacquiao, Mayweather and Khan are in a plane that lands directly on the border between Canada and America. All non-PED users die. In which country is Pacquiao buried?

No offence if I give that one a miss, is too big a can of worms for such a nice afternoon.

Union Cane wrote:You don't bury survivors.

(Any relation to real life names or events are purely coincidental.)

If you'd have said that the plane crashed it would have made more sense.

Did you read jeffs post or something?

That rowley and his pesky editing of quotes to make other people look silly...

Scottrf wrote:Did you read jeffs post or something?

Glad to know someone does occasionally.

George Foreman bought a saw