Random Factor... Like A Tractor

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Random factor, like a tractor...
by luckless_pedestrian on Sat 28 May 2011, 5:06 pm

Hello. Following its roaring success on the old 606 (winner of six Luckies*) I thought I'd provide a space on 606v2 for you to post any irrelevant little things you fancy sharing.

I'll start: I've always had trouble with the line 'Love grows where my Rosemary goes.' If they'd chosen another name like Anne or Susan there'd be no problem, but rosemary's a herb so it could be 'Love goes where my rosemary grows.'

And anyway, why would you want to hit the ground? What has the ground ever done to you?

Better than kissing it like the Pope used to, don't know what you might catch!

And if there's chewing gum on the spot you kiss, you might never get back up again.

or Tarzan's Grip...

There's such a sad history of drug addiction in professional motorcycling: Casey Stoner, Darcy Smackhead... and of course Barry Sheen, whose career was ended by his addiction to polish.

the shaven raven's cold and she sings...

I need

Before your bike ride with Cari you mean?

Is that an euphemism?

Depends... do you mean before or after the coffee shop get together?

We'll have to ask Billy a few questions later on... like "how was the bike ride with Cari, buttocks feels OK ?"

Any chaffing or did you use a lubricant?

Your chain looks a little loose... here, use this spanner to tighten those nuts.

Go go gadget testicles!

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out.

I say 'bought' - I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.

Ginger people snog like rutting foxes.

And they leave a musk like smell on the carpets

They are largely nocturnal, surviving by sucking the blood of bats.

A ginger can survive for over ten months on flour alone.

Gingers kept in darkness for a month become transparent.

Ginger women can fly.

Ginger people can see into your soul.

But they have no souls of their own.

Ginger women are sexy. Julianne Moore

I wondered how long it would be before an Irishman chipped in

Irishmen evolved from gingers, who themselves evolved from the orang utan.

The Orang Utan evolved from Welsh missionaries in Borneo approaching their work in an unorthodox manner.

So the Irish evolved from the Welsh?

Welsh missionaries evolved form Irish pirates.

But if they were Irish pirates, they must have evolved from the Welsh...

eirebilly wrote:Ginger women are sexy. Julianne Moore

When did you find out that, billy? Short Cuts?

luckless_pedestrian wrote:A ginger can survive for over ten months on flour alone.

That's only ginger males luckless. Ginger females can only survive with both flour and compliments.

Ginger is a dying gene....thanks to all the cheap jokes!

Yes, and the compliments have to be genuine or they'll explode.

That's why the latest news coming out of Hollywood saddens me. A ginger explosion at an awards ceremony last night.

Blame billy.

All gingers are ambivalent.

All the gingers in the world can trace their genes to a woman from Africa who was the first person in the world to have freckles.

Those freckles were originally an allergic reaction to poo from a bird with the squits that flew overhead.

Freckles are tans that hedge their bets on whether an Irish summer will be worth the effort..

Glas a du wrote:I wondered how long it would be before an Irishman chipped in

Cheeky fecker

SecretFly wrote:

eirebilly wrote:Ginger women are sexy. Julianne Moore

When did you find out that, billy? Short Cuts?

hee hee, you know it

Africans are Paddies with all the dots joined up...

Oh really?

No, O'Reilly.

luckless_pedestrian wrote:Oh really?

No, O'Reilly.

Ha, was that a Fawlty Towers quote?

I think I heard it on the Simpsons, but they probably nicked it from somewhere else!

I remember hearing it on Fawlty Towers years ago, O'Reilly the builder

Surely it can't be

It is and don't call me Shirley

This woman needs to go to a hospital.

A hospital? What is it?

It's a big white building where sick people go, but that's not important right now.

luckless_pedestrian wrote:This woman needs to go to a hospital.

A hospital? What is it?

It's a big white building where sick people go, but that's not important right now.

Irish person who has first hand experience of our 'Health' service, on overhearing the conversation: "A big white building where sick people go? - Heaven?"