Friday Fun - Boxing Limericks

First topic message reminder :

Saw this idea on another board, thought it was a good idea.

How it hopefully works, I will give the first line of a limerick, and then all you need to do is copy that first line and add the second, then someone else can copy the first two and add the third etc etc

Even with the helpful “somebody has posted in the meantime” feature we should still get too much confusion and duplication.

That has got to be one of the worst explanations of an idea that I’ve ever done, but hopefully you get the gist of it.

Let us begin...


There once was a boxer named Tyson,

HumanWindmill wrote:Poonsawat Kratingdaenggym
Had a first cousin called Jim
the diameter of his eyes were razor thin
They were even worse once Ryol Li Lee had finished with him
Because the trouble was that although he was quite a good fighter with a very unusual name he had extraordinarily fragile skin

Not one of our better efforts...

Don King, promoter so noble
Announced, at Mike Tyson's disrobal
" For once, I can't speak
This man is a freak "
His muscles came out of Chernobyl

Not one of our better efforts...
Said a fighter, by name Billy Jeffords

Not one of our better efforts...
Said a fighter, by name Billy Jeffords
We really should try

Not one of our better efforts...
Said a fighter, by name Billy Jeffords
We really should try
To stop fouling this guy

Pass.

Not one of our better efforts...
Said a fighter, by name Billy Jeffords
We really should try
To stop fouling this guy
'Cause a clip round the ear from the ref hurts

Over to you.

Light-welterweight champ Terry Marsh

Union Cane wrote:Light-welterweight champ Terry Marsh

Whose treatment by fish-eyes was harsh

Light-welterweight champ Terry Marsh
Whose treatment by fish-eyes was harsh
Decided, for fun

Light-welterweight champ Terry Marsh
Whose treatment by fish-eyes was harsh
Decided, for fun
To purchase a gun

Light-welterweight champ Terry Marsh
Whose treatment by fish-eyes was harsh
Decided, for fun
To purchase a gun
Which he claims that he never discharged



A middleweight legend called Nino

A middleweight legend called Nino
Was awfully fond of the vino

A middleweight legend called Nino
Was awfully fond of the vino
Drank a bottle with lunch

HumanWindmill wrote:A middleweight legend called Nino
Was awfully fond of the vino
Drank a bottle with lunch

'cause it helped with his punch

A middleweight legend called Nino
Was awfully fond of the vino
Drank a bottle with lunch
'Cause it helped with his punch
For his title defence in San Remo

HumanWindmill wrote:A middleweight legend called Nino
Was awfully fond of the vino
Drank a bottle with lunch
'Cause it helped with his punch
For his title defence in San Remo

his mind was on Jose Chirino,

The heavyweight champ, name of Creed

The heavyweight champ, name of Creed
Had a predisposition to bleed

The heavyweight champ, name of Creed
Had a predisposition to bleed
Lost an arm in the jungle

The heavyweight champ, name of Creed
Had a predisposition to bleed
Lost an arm in the jungle
Then Balboa made him humble

The heavyweight champ, name of Creed
Had a predisposition to bleed
Lost an arm in the jungle
Then Balboa made him humble
And then killed when he wouldn't concede

There once was a hit man named Hearns

There once was a hit man named Hearns
Who, despite all that he earns

There once was a hit man named Hearns
Who, despite all that he earns
Is apparently broke

HumanWindmill wrote:There once was a hit man named Hearns
Who, despite all that he earns
Is apparently broke

Which is no joke

There once was a hit man named Hearns
Who, despite all that he earns
Is apparently broke
Which is no joke
Had to sell all his stuff, hope he learns

Cigar-smoking hack, Bert Sugar

Cigar-smoking hack, Bert Sugar
Travelled by ferry to Zeebrugge

Union Cane wrote:Cigar-smoking hack, Bert Sugar

is an opinionated old oh dear

ah, for flip's sake, what's wrong with saying 'buggger'???

cockmunching arsebanditry of the highest titwanking order.

I mean 'poop, that's frustrating'.

BALTIMORA wrote:ah, for flip's sake, what's wrong with saying 'buggger'???

What happened ? Did it trip the swear filter ?

Poetic, Balti! At least someone has mastered that troublesome swearing filter!

Yes. Almost as bad as the time I was blocked from a site for saying 'Scunthorpe'.

HumanWindmill wrote:A middleweight legend called Nino
Was awfully fond of the vino
Drank a bottle with lunch
'Cause it helped with his punch
For his title defence in San Remo

Classic.

Cigar-smoking hack, Bert Sugar
Travelled by ferry to Zeebrugge
He coughed and he spluttered

azania wrote:

HumanWindmill wrote:A middleweight legend called Nino
Was awfully fond of the vino
Drank a bottle with lunch
'Cause it helped with his punch
For his title defence in San Remo

Classic.

Why thank you, az.

Don't get carried away though, mate. Ol' Nino didn't really train on the red stuff.

He was one of those enlightened souls from the sixties and seventies. You know, rowing machines and pulleys and all that fancy stuff. Of course Carlos Monzon, who smoked up to 100 ciggies a day, handed Benvenuti his backside - twice - but that's another story.

Cigar-smoking hack, Bert Sugar
Travelled by ferry to Zeebrugge
He coughed and he spluttered
Though some say he uttered

Cigar-smoking hack, Bert Sugar
Travelled by ferry to Zeebrugge
He coughed and he spluttered
Though some say he uttered
Larry Holmes was no more than a slugger

Union Cane wrote:Cigar-smoking hack, Bert Sugar
Travelled by ferry to Zeebrugge
He coughed and he spluttered

His ranking of modern fighters disdainfully muttered

(i'm rubbish at this)

A Heavyweight named Tyson if prime
Would have destroyed Ali at that time
But Rooney was fired
He was no longer inspired
But the Douglas long count was a crime!

Some guys have a jab like a piston

Some guys have a jab like a piston
As Frans Botha would say "I'm the bist'un"*







*Apologies to our South African readers.

Some guys have a jab like a piston
As Frans Botha would say "I'm the bist'un"
'Cause he speaks Afrikaan

HumanWindmill wrote:Some guys have a jab like a piston
As Frans Botha would say "I'm the bist'un"
'Cause he speaks Afrikaan

And was kicked off his farm

And wouldn't have stood a chance against Liston

Beat me to it Chris, nice one mate


"I died on the operating table"

I died on the operating table
The surgeon, it seems, was not able

I died on the operating table
The surgeon, it seems, was not able
My 'windmilling' style