Friday Fun - Boxing Limericks

First topic message reminder :

Saw this idea on another board, thought it was a good idea.

How it hopefully works, I will give the first line of a limerick, and then all you need to do is copy that first line and add the second, then someone else can copy the first two and add the third etc etc

Even with the helpful “somebody has posted in the meantime” feature we should still get too much confusion and duplication.

That has got to be one of the worst explanations of an idea that I’ve ever done, but hopefully you get the gist of it.

Let us begin...


There once was a boxer named Tyson,

The fabled Detroit Hitman, Hearns
Would have lost to Ricky Burns
His legs were too long
But looked good in a thong

The fabled Detroit Hitman, Hearns
Would have lost to Ricky Burns
His legs were too long
But looked good in a thong
Windy! That raises concerns

Not ready to emerge from the closet

Not ready to emerge from the closet
HumanWindmill made a deposit

Not ready to emerge from the closet
HumanWindmill made a deposit
'Twas warm and 'twas damp

Not ready to emerge from the closet
HumanWindmill made a deposit
'Twas warm and 'twas damp
And he had "writer's" cramp

Not ready to emerge from the closet
HumanWindmill made a deposit
'Twas warm and 'twas damp
And he had "writer's" cramp
Not very lucky, now was it ?

Robert "The Nordic Nightmare" Helenius

Robert "The Nordic Nightmare" Helenius
Was probably one of the meaniest

Robert "The Nordic Nightmare" Helenius
Was probably one of the meaniest
Of Sauerland's crop

Robert "The Nordic Nightmare" Helenius
Was probably one of the meaniest
Of Sauerland's crop
He proudly sat top

Robert "The Nordic Nightmare" Helenius
Was probably one of the meaniest
Of Sauerland's crop
He proudly sat top
And he's also a talented pianist

Fritzie Zivic commenced, in the thirties

Fritzie Zivic commenced, in the thirties
As a feather, you know, like the birdies

Fritzie Zivic commenced, in the thirties
As a feather, you know, like the birdies
With one on each arm

Fritzie Zivic commenced, in the thirties
As a feather, you know, like the birdies
With one on each arm
He'd use thumbs to harm

Fritzie Zivic commenced, in the thirties
As a feather, you know, like the birdies
With one on each arm
He'd use thumbs to harm
And butted them when they got flirty

They say that our Floyd drives a Lexus

They say that our Floyd drives a Lexus
His prolonged inactivity does vex us

They say that our Floyd drives a Lexus
His prolonged inactivity does vex us
Always in court

They say that our Floyd drives a Lexus
His prolonged inactivity does vex us
Always in court
Or a holiday resort

They say that our Floyd drives a Lexus
His prolonged inactivity does vex us
Always in court
Or a holiday resort
'Stead of punching some guy's solar plexus

HumanWindmill wrote:They say that our Floyd drives a Lexus
His prolonged inactivity does vex us
Always in court
Or a holiday resort
'Stead of punching some guy's solar plexus

Hats off lads, one of the better ones.

Cheers, Rodders.

Why don't you kick one off ?

Why don't you kick one off ?
Wladimir developed a cough

Why don't you kick one off ?
Wladimir developed a cough
Tickle in the throat

Why don't you kick one off ?
Wladimir developed a cough
Tickle in the throat
not one to showboat

Why don't you kick one off ?
Wladimir developed a cough
Tickle in the throat
not one to showboat
But enough to have the Haye fight called off

Ray Schneck, in his fourth ever fight

Ray Schneck, in his fourth ever fight
Found that nobody spelled his name right

Ray Schneck, in his fourth ever fight
Found that nobody spelled his name right
14 year old Ray

Ray Schneck, in his fourth ever fight
Found that nobody spelled his name right
14 year old Ray
Not one for dismay

Ray Schneck, in his fourth ever fight
Found that nobody spelled his name right
14 year old Ray
Not one for dismay
Twas 'Kid Hopeless' who gave him a fright

http://boxrec.com/list_bouts.php?human_id=489026&cat=boxer

Kid Hopeless - brilliant !

Guess his trainer really believed in him !



Some, it would seem, are born losers

HumanWindmill wrote:Kid Hopeless - brilliant !

Guess his trainer really believed in him !

Some, it would seem, are born losers

Wrong Kid http://boxrec.com/list_bouts.php?human_id=428197&cat=boxer

Goebbels-esque propaganda and rhetoric

Goebbels-esque propaganda and rhetoric
As an opening line, hard to better it

Goebbels-esque propaganda and rhetoric
As an opening line, hard to better it
I'm pretty much stumped

Goebbels-esque propaganda and rhetoric
As an opening line, hard to better it
I'm pretty much stumped
My own noggin I've thumped

Goebbels-esque propaganda and rhetoric
As an opening line, hard to better it
I'm pretty much stumped
C'mon - you're no chump !

Oops !

Dave's in there first - and with a better one than mine, to boot.

Goebbels-esque propaganda and rhetoric
As an opening line, hard to better it
I'm pretty much stumped
My own noggin I've thumped
Keep it boxing, good coach, Roach, yes Frederick

Goebbels-esque propaganda and rhetoric
As an opening line, hard to better it
I'm pretty much stumped
My own noggin I've thumped
But still came off better than Petr Cech!

Union Cane wrote:Goebbels-esque propaganda and rhetoric
As an opening line, hard to better it
I'm pretty much stumped
My own noggin I've thumped
Keep it boxing, good coach, Roach, yes Frederick

Very nice

"Very nice" is too short to be used

"Very nice" is too short to be used
We'll end up getting confused

"Very nice" is too short to be used
We'll end up getting confused
We're veering off topic

You guys crack me up, i'll be back to see how it finishes.

"Very nice" is too short to be used
We'll end up getting confused
We're veering off topic
I've been draining the Optics

"Very nice" is too short to be used
We'll end up getting confused
We're veering off topic
I've been draining the Optics
All those spirits have left me bemused