Friday Fun - Boxing Limericks

First topic message reminder :

Saw this idea on another board, thought it was a good idea.

How it hopefully works, I will give the first line of a limerick, and then all you need to do is copy that first line and add the second, then someone else can copy the first two and add the third etc etc

Even with the helpful “somebody has posted in the meantime” feature we should still get too much confusion and duplication.

That has got to be one of the worst explanations of an idea that I’ve ever done, but hopefully you get the gist of it.

Let us begin...


There once was a boxer named Tyson,

Wlad, with a cheque to deposit
Had recently come out of the closet
He found a cashier
That looked upon him in fear

Wlad, with a cheque to deposit
Had recently come out of the closet
He found a cashier
That looked upon him in fear
Wasn't much of an ending, now was it ?

A man once looked after a lion

A man once looked after a lion
No he didn't, turned out he was lyin'

A man once looked after a lion
No he didn't, turned out he was lyin'
'Cause this cat had spots

A man once looked after a lion
No he didn't, turned out he was lyin'
'Cause this cat had spots
Just a rare case of chicken pox

A man once looked after a lion
No he didn't, turned out he was lyin'
'Cause this cat had spots
Just a rare case of chicken pox
Sorry, a tale I'm not buying

A friend of mine - let's call him ' Cyril '

A friend of mine - let's call him ' Cyril '
Went out robbing car wheels on the Wirral

A friend of mine - let's call him ' Cyril '
Went out robbing car wheels on the Wirral
A scouse, through and through

A friend of mine - let's call him ' Cyril '
Went out robbing car wheels on the Wirral
A scouse, through and through
Dey doo doh, dohn't dey doo

A friend of mine - let's call him ' Cyril '
Went out robbing car wheels on the Wirral
A scouse, through and through
Dey doo doh, dohn't dey doo
Still not as big a crook as Dirrell

A friend of mine - let's call him ' Cyril '
Went out robbing car wheels on the Wirral
A scouse, through and through
Dey doo doh, dohn't dey doo
Then he ran like Andre Dirrell

Sorry DAVE, I knew someone would get the dirrell line before me

A promoter, by the name of Frank

A promoter, by the name of Frank
Managed Lennox, laughed right to the bank

A promoter, by the name of Frank
Managed Lennox, laughed right to the bank
What a load of baloney

A promoter, by the name of Frank
Managed Lennox, laughed right to the bank
What a load of baloney
Is he better, or worse, than Maloney?

A promoter, by the name of Frank
Managed Lennox, laughed right to the bank
What a load of baloney
Is he better, or worse, than Maloney?
To be honest, the pair of them stank

Our man, Kermit Cintron

Our man, Kermit Cintron
Had a cut, put some lint on

Our man, Kermit Cintron
Had a cut, put some lint on
Named after a frog

Our man, Kermit Cintron
Had a cut, put some lint on
Named after a frog
He quit like a dog

Our man, Kermit Cintron
Had a cut, put some lint on
Named after a frog
He quit like a dog
As Botha would say ' Eet awl wint wrong '

Botha, a man from South Wales?

Botha, a man from South Wales?
A stickler, you are, for details

Botha, a man from South Wales?
A stickler, you are, for details
This one fell flat

Botha, a man from South Wales?
A stickler, you are, for details
With an accent that vague
He could have been from The Hague

Botha, a man from South Wales?
A stickler, you are, for details
With an accent that vague
He could have been from The Hague
This thread has now gone off the rails

Botha, a man from South Wales?
A stickler, you are, for details
With an accent that vague
He could have been from The Hague
But who cares from whence the man hails ?

Much better than mine, so you start

Much better than mine, so you start
Said Union, while playing the part

Much better than mine, so you start
Said Union, while playing the part
Of the limerick master

Much better than mine, so you start
Said Union, while playing the part
Of the limerick master
( Well, no one is faster )

Much better than mine, so you start
Said Union, while playing the part
Of the limerick master
( Well, no one is faster )
Could say he's made it an art

A nice chap, the mod named azania

A nice chap, the mod named azania
Though he suffers from some form of mania

A nice chap, the mod named azania
Doesn't rate old timers, has dementia

A nice chap, the mod named azania
Doesn't rate old timers, has dementia
Thinks Dempsey and Tunney

A nice chap, the mod named azania
Doesn't rate old timers, has dementia
Thinks Dempsey and Tunney
Wouldn't make any money

A nice chap, the mod named azania
Doesn't rate old timers, has dementia
Thinks Dempsey and Tunney
Wouldn't make any money
And I don't know whether to rhyme with azania or dementia because the limerick was messed up.

You could try something that falls between the two perhaps?

You could try something that falls between the two perhaps?
But then our problems would relapse

A nice chap, the mod named azania
Doesn't rate old timers, has dementia
Thinks Dempsey and Tunney
Wouldn't make any money
His opinions get zanier and zanier

You could try something that falls between the two perhaps?
But then our problems would relapse
Heaven forbid !

You could try something that falls between the two perhaps?
But then our problems would relapse
Heaven forbid !
What happened to Eddie Kidd?

You could try something that falls between the two perhaps?
But then our problems would relapse
That's true. I think we have nearly exhausted
It happened before, so we paused it

You could try something that falls between the two perhaps?
But then our problems would relapse
Heaven forbid !
What happened to Eddie Kidd?
The guy with the bike ? He collapsed

There was a slow bum called Joe Louis

There was a slow bum called Joe Louis
Who would have been kayoed by Ruiz