Random Factor, Like A Tractor...

First topic message reminder :

Random factor, like a tractor...
by luckless_pedestrian on Sat 28 May 2011, 5:06 pm

Hello. Following its roaring success on the old 606 (winner of six Luckies*) I thought I'd provide a space on 606v2 for you to post any irrelevant little things you fancy sharing.

I'll start: I've always had trouble with the line 'Love grows where my Rosemary goes.' If they'd chosen another name like Anne or Susan there'd be no problem, but rosemary's a herb so it could be 'Love goes where my rosemary grows.'


Last post by luckless_pedestrian Today at 17:17

I met a couple of lesbians in Lanzarote last year. They were snorkelling for clams.

Since You've Been Gonorrhoea.

Viva Las Vegans.

I Want to Hold your Handlebar Moustache.

Your bald spot is hurting my eyes... can you move away from those spot-lights please?

A day in the lifesized sex aid.

Elton,
if you think I'm gonna wear that straw boater with the grosgrain red and yellow diagonal band... then you've got another thing coming, Boyo.

No I can't feel the love tonight, Elton!

Burgandy blazer with wide buttermilk stripes! I say!

You disgust me Elton... when your glasses get all fogged up like that!

It might look like a smile to you Elton - but it really scares the kids.

Keep that Rocket to yourself man.

Trust me.

We've already had about half a dozen complaints from irate parents, Mr John.

And I dont want to see your steam and whistles, heading West or anywhere else!

I'm very sorry Mr John but Lady Gaga and George Michael won't be at rehearsals this afternoon.

They've gone to the Seychelles Islands instead and have asked you not to try and contact them.

You might call it the crocodile rock, Mr John, but the law has another name for it.

It's quite a significant sacrifice actually, Elton.

lovin' like children.... livin' like lo-v ...................[CLICK]

Would you please come this way, Mr John.

And I was made in Wales, Elton, but you wouldn't catch me wearing star-shaped sunglasses.

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind,
That I put down in words...

That won't be necessary, Mr John, this interview's being taped as it is.

And I quote: "...acting like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid..."

And yet you claim this is not an homage to Gary Glitter, do you, Mr John?

Well it's not the scientific name for that part of the human anatomy, Mr John, but if you want to call it the 'circle of life', far be it from me to stop you.

You needn't worry Elton and George, I wouldn't let my son anywhere near you...

Remember that candle you left burning in the wind, Mr John?
Yes, the one near the window... that's right.

Well you're damn lucky you didn't kill George and his "Fitness" Instructor... who happened to be sleeping together in the hay loft - which unfortunately (in your case) suffered the worst of the fire damage!

Norma Jean? Who are you calling Norma, Reg Dwight!

Ah... excuse me Mr John, that's not your blue jean baby, as such.
That's an old studio five knuckle shuffle-doll manikin you're singing to..

I'm still standing...

That's only because you're leaning against me, Mr John. Now I want you to blow into this tube as hard as you can until I tell you to stop.


No, Mr John, I meant this tube here...

Why, ssssssare yr chips hot...or what?

OK, one baby seal burger, flayed octopus rings & spicy seagull wings. Do want chicken-of-sea salt or just normal salt on yr chips?

Chips please

75 or 90

If you're going to count them I'll have a fish

It won't be long

Well it better be wide then

07:45 am bus ticket please and a packet of cwisps pwease

This morning I shaved with a blade of grass.

...then sh@ thru the eye of a needle.

See any rich men down the pan?

Fools Bonds

I think this thread should be slotted onto a harddrive and sent out with the next deep space probe to the heart of our Galaxy. I mean we all know the Voyager ones were a mistake in the first place - never send your address to a stranger.

But now that the cat is out of the bag, we need to send something to make the aliens have second thoughts about visiting!

An alien lands in Dublin and says "sure, take me to the Aviva"

The alien taxi-driver retorts.. "Iiii dooont knoooow dis! Is dis near Lansdowne Road? "

Alien visitor says "Is that where Leinster play?"

"Yeah, they never lose there"

"Grand. We don't deal with Runners-Up. We seek the humanoid they call Schmidt. We require him for a strategic, inter-galactic, attack-mission"

'but you can keep your Kidney...we have no need for it.... I mean him"

whooooooshh.....

he drinks peenia collader...

I am not into health food.... I am into chilblains

I think you need to swallow my pride.

You'll never limp alone.

Two limp guys in a steamy sauna.
First limp guys asks "What caused yours?"
Second guy answers "I only like girls. What caused yours?"
"It's just the way I walk...and I am a girl."

Billy is short for billiards.

Billiards is short for Billeousness plus tard.

I read a great article about Dick Spring the other day. You should be able to find it online: google 'full of the joys of Dick'.

The cat shat on my tw@t.

1. Buck Shelford
2. Buck Shelford
3. Buck Shelford
4. Buck Shelford
5. Buck Shelford
6. Buck Shelford
7. Buck Shelford
8. Buck Shelford
9. Buck Shelford
10. Buck Shelford
11. Buck Shelford
12. Buck Shelford
13. Buck Shelford
14. Buck Shelford
15. Buck Shelford



We all dream of a team of ex-marines

Francis Meli?

Sotu Isitili!

"....and may your turnips and other root vegetable bulbs grow well here..."