Elsewhere on a parallel world.

There are always many opinions in regard to how money is split amongst participating clubs/regions or countries when it comes to the lucrative deals made with broadcasters.

There is the current situations where by SA to an extent is subsidizing New Zealand and Australian rugby by splitting their television revenue three ways.

I have read on here the same type of scenario occurs in Europe whereby England and France are the countries who “subsidise” the other nations by splitting broadcasting money, and not forgetting the fact that some said where Ireland or wales has to split their revenue with 4 teams, France and England has to split it with 14 and 12 teams respectively.

So in a parallel world where money is everything (not unlike this world) and countries such as South Africa, France and England decide to not split any money. How would things turn out then?

Let’s for argument sake say South Africa France and England, hereinafter called SAFE decide to combine their three countries into a group where revenue is sky high and spectator viewership is good.

Consider there is a global season (seeing that these money hungry administrators had some sense).

So SAFE decides to have a Super Duper Rugby tournament, hereinafter called the SDRT with top four teams qualified from their domestic competition which is the Currie Cup, Top 14, and Aviva and of course a bi annual comp called the Trivecta.

So, their calendar is pretty much booked except for the international window of June and November to accommodate three test tours.
Their season looks something like this.

Per four year cycle.

Year 1.
SDRT running for 13 weeks from late February to End of May
June Test series.
July trivecta
Aug through October Currie Cup, Top 14, Aviva
November test series.

Year two.
SDRT February to May.
June test series
July test series
Aug through October Currie Cup, Top 14, Aviva
November Test series

Year 3.
SDRT running for 13 weeks from late February to End of May
June Test series.
July trivecta
Aug through October Currie Cup, Top 14, Aviva
November test series.

Year 4.
SDRT running for 13 weeks from late February to End of May
June through july - RWC
Aug through October Currie Cup, Top 14, Aviva
November test series.

Due to the money available SAFE agreed to sign a contract in a meeting held at Geneva not to contract any player until age thirty outside of their borders to bolster their clubs or provinces. Hereinafter called the Geneva Agreement or simply put the GA.

The Celtic nations on the back of this, decides they will combine with Italy on a similar basis, even though money isn’t as freely available.
Australia and new Zealand decides to combine with Japan and continue an agreement similar to SANZAR on our world, but just called JANZAR.

Result.

With France and England getting the opportunity to expose their players to the hard and fast tracks of SA, and also the fact that they now develop and utilize the talent available from their own academies things improve dramatically. They have also moved to a regional system for the SDRT and has solid foundations to select players from these four regional franchises to improve their competitiveness and depth.

Australia and New Zealand along with Japan to a lesser extent ( mainly due to smaller forwards) continue to play a brand of rugby that excites and satisfies the need for laws to favour the attacking game.

The Celtic nations along with Italy provides solid sustainable regions with enough depth to compete at international level.

Sadly the tier two nations are still sucking the hind Holly Wilaboobie of the cow.

South Africa continue with monstrous packs of forwards, kicking the neoprene (or whatever these new ball are made of) off the pigs bladder, and are still plagued by politics, poor administration and the doppelganger of Morne Steyn.

I like it, is Jamie Noon any good there?

Bryce Lawrence and Wayne Barnes are joint heads of the IRB refereeing panel.

Noon and Stephen Donald between them have won the last four IRB player of the year awards.

Don't forget Morne Steyn as well, Pdivvy has been appointed by the IRB to run all advanced courses in coaching.

His book, coaching for dummies was a sell out, twice. (100 copies per issue)

In a parallel world: Richie McCaw has received so many red cards, the judiciary actually gave him a jail sentence.

Dan Parks is attack coach for England. Actually, don´t laugh he's very successful. He just teaches his own attack principles to the English backs and then tells them whenever you find yourself in an attacking position, just do the exact opposite of what your instinct tells you.

Scotland score tries with gleeful abandon but don't have a goalkicker to save themselves and still find a way to lose.

Fiji only play 15s with seven players but they find the extra space works for them and win more than they lose.

Australia have the meanest pack but the flyhalf kicks the leather off the ball and the wingers are covered in dust and cobwebs.

John O'Neill is ... well some things never change. He's still an arrogant pr***.

some good ones there Kia, I particularly like the fiji one.

HAHAHA O'Neill.

NZ have won only 25% of their tests in the last 20 years, but they coincide with World Cups having won the last five.

NZ are also flooded with Japanese players looking to earn the big bucks after a trying international career.

Celebrated NZ cook Alison Holst marries Lalit Modi and reveals in a secretly taped interview that she is in fact Suzie. This doesn't get reported in the UK press as they refuse to give publicity to sensationalist issues.

France makes the niqab compulsory and Lady Gaga headlines the Mass Games in North Korea.

After losing competition of SANZAR, all blacks slip down rankings with 4 years of losing to all other team, but then as outsider chancers win two more consecutive world cups after benefit of curious referee decision from wayne barnes in final with japan.

England make combinator with naming 15 starting players all born in the country. They play most beautiful rugby but fail to closing out the game and lose in pool.

disneychilly wrote:Celebrated NZ cook Alison Holst marries Lalit Modi and reveals in a secretly taped interview that she is in fact Suzie. This doesn't get reported in the UK press as they refuse to give publicity to sensationalist issues.

I am assuming suzie crossed the parallel devide to poison the All Blacks on our world?

It was her intention but it failed. She tried but the food about to be eaten by the New Zealanders was from Abrakebabra so the poison she put on it actually rendered the kebabs edible. NZ won.

Disney, ... Mate, it ins't back to the future, it is a parallel world. 2015 is yet to happen.

I will do a back to the future edition another time.

Stick with the program man.

You're no fun anymore.

Of course I am, but you are cheating (makes me think of McCaw), you use the future to your benefit in a parallel world.
Not fair.

It must be parallel world today so anway because is so sunny and hot in London and is a very nice view on the street.

Well we like to think we're pioneers of the game. Surely pioneering means being the first to try something to see if you get away with it? Don't worry I'll be in constant contact with said universe's higher power and treat them with respect so that they'll find reasons to justify their interpretation that I'm playing within the rules.

Rugby Union became a professional sport early in it's history like association football and league and it spread all across the world, making it the most popular game across the globe. Germany, USA and NZ are the top three countries in the world

gowales wrote:Rugby Union became a professional sport early in it's history like association football and league and it spread all across the world, making it the most popular game across the globe. Germany, USA and NZ are the top three countries in the world

If the RL split hadn't happened ...

Oh yea, i didn't think that one through... In that case it would just be called rugby football and Australia and England would probably be a lot better

There is a parallel universe somewhere where the All Blacks have never beaten Ireland. According to sciencey people. Scientists I think they're called.

gowales wrote:Oh yea, i didn't think that one through... In that case it would just be called rugby football and Australia and England would probably be a lot better

Indeed. And back before the split happened rugby was more popular than football in the UK. I suspect that internationally football's simplicity would have seen it wind up the bigger sport over all internationally, but things would have been a lot closer.

Kiwireddevil wrote:

gowales wrote:Oh yea, i didn't think that one through... In that case it would just be called rugby football and Australia and England would probably be a lot better

Indeed. And back before the split happened rugby was more popular than football in the UK. I suspect that internationally football's simplicity would have seen it wind up the bigger sport over all internationally, but things would have been a lot closer.

We can only dream of what could have been Kiwi...only dream...

Im really a bit stumped as to where England are subsidising the celtic regions through television deals?

Firstly the Geoff has its own deal with Sky whilst the Rabo 12 has a deal with terrestial stations BBC in Scotland and Wales and Irish/ Italian national providers in their countries.

As far as the six nations goes, England did a deal with Sky seperatly for their games outside of the Six Nations which is why their home games are on Sky. The other nations refused to do a deal that took would leave rugby only on subscription based cbhannels rather than free to air.

So English six nations tv rights are not tied to the other nations. English Club rugby deals have nothing to do with any of the other nations. So how exactly are the English subsidising rugby in Ireland Scotland and Wales? may I also point out that the viewing figures for Rabo on the Beeb are far higher than for the Geoff on Sky.

As for France the Frecnh teams have their own sponsership for their domestic game which already far outweighs the Geoff or Rabo. Also the game in France is confined mainly to the south of the country and does not have national demand, its a minority sport for most frenchman and the value of any advertising reflects that.

Dunno what happens in SA but I would be prepared to bet that SA tv would pay less for annual games against England or France than they would for NZ and Aus. Likewise Sky would not want to fork out the same mulaah without the rivalry that European competition brings for England.

Thats quite apart from the fact that two beaten quarterfinalists and a beaten finalists hardly make up the three best teams in the world at the moment now do they?

Im all in favour of a global season but if you think SA Eng and Fra are going to dictate how that season works out then your tripping.

On their day Wales can lose to anybody.

It seems Tycroes doesn't get this is a purely satirical view of rugby.

Tycroes, there has been a thread not long ago about France and England threatening to split at. Apparantly not for the first time.

As for SA television, Supersport is the largest broadcaster of rugby in the world.

biltongbek wrote:It seems Tycroes doesn't get this is a purely satirical view of rugby.

Tycroes, there has been a thread not long ago about France and England threatening to split at. Apparantly not for the first time.

As for SA television, Supersport is the largest broadcaster of rugby in the world.

But you catch all your NH rugby on??? The stream sites?

Where ever they can we watch all the important matches live in HD. During our super 15 it is sometimes necessry to record the matches as the hc semi's and finals were on at the same time.

We see the six nations live
They select pool matches of the hc that we see some live some delayed
We see the A viva
We see the french top 14

Just about every major tournament, even the ITM cup

Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

PJHolybloke wrote:Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

only if you'll be my right hand man.

First thing on the agenda will be to strike every record of thuggery by SA and English players.

The new Japanese coach of Wales has been trying to coach out the old "welsh way" which revolved around a dominant forward pack, closing out games and 10 man rugby. Instead he has taught the players about offloading and backs.

The results are shocking, after winning the 2007 WC under a welsh coach who understood the welsh way of playing (allowing Wales to crush Fiji in an incredibly boring and tryless WC final) under their new coach Woshan Gatwan Wales were knocked out at the pool stages and went on to win the wooden spoon in the following 6Ns.

The upcoming tour against the old and experienced forward orientated Australians is predicted to be a disaster, with captain Warburton stating "we are just hoping we come back with our shirts."

However, Welsh club rugby is going strong, the Cardiff Blues and Newport Gwent Dragons dominating in Europe with 3 wins in the last 4 tournements.

Geez mate, you're all about bad news regarding this parallel world.

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

only if you'll be my right hand man.

First thing on the agenda will be to strike every record of thuggery by SA and English players.

That could take us a while bud, but in your parallel world surely they'd both be paragons of fair play?

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

only if you'll be my right hand man.

First thing on the agenda will be to strike every record of thuggery by SA and English players.

That could take us a while bud, but in your parallel world surely they'd both be paragons of fair play?

you're right for a moment I forgot we are talking about the parallel world, there the Kiwi's and Ozzie's are the thugs.

biltongbek wrote:Geez mate, you're all about bad news regarding this parallel world.

Not the last line,

Ireland are unstoppable when they play together, but always look disjointed when they return to their clubs and never really live up to their expectations in Europe

wales606 wrote:

biltongbek wrote:Geez mate, you're all about bad news regarding this parallel world.

Not the last line,

Ireland are unstoppable when they play together, but always look disjointed when they return to their clubs and never really live up to their expectations in Europe

If you went about it the smart way Wales would have won the last ten Grandslams.

biltongbek wrote:

wales606 wrote:

biltongbek wrote:Geez mate, you're all about bad news regarding this parallel world.

Not the last line,

Ireland are unstoppable when they play together, but always look disjointed when they return to their clubs and never really live up to their expectations in Europe

If you went about it the smart way Wales would have won the last ten Grandslams.

But this is a parallel universe, so they wouldn't have won in 05, 08 or 12.

:P

wales606 wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

wales606 wrote:

biltongbek wrote:Geez mate, you're all about bad news regarding this parallel world.

Not the last line,

Ireland are unstoppable when they play together, but always look disjointed when they return to their clubs and never really live up to their expectations in Europe

If you went about it the smart way Wales would have won the last ten Grandslams.

But this is a parallel universe, so they wouldn't have won in 05, 08 or 12.

:P

smartypants

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

only if you'll be my right hand man.

First thing on the agenda will be to strike every record of thuggery by SA and English players.

That could take us a while bud, but in your parallel world surely they'd both be paragons of fair play?

you're right for a moment I forgot we are talking about the parallel world, there the Kiwi's and Ozzie's are the thugs.

Yeah, dorty barstewards, the BIRB (Biltong International Rugby Board) should consider banning them both from the next WC, in fact, as your trusted Lieutenant, I hereby table the motion!

See you in the final at Twickers chief!

biltongbek wrote:

wales606 wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

wales606 wrote:

biltongbek wrote:Geez mate, you're all about bad news regarding this parallel world.

Not the last line,

Ireland are unstoppable when they play together, but always look disjointed when they return to their clubs and never really live up to their expectations in Europe

If you went about it the smart way Wales would have won the last ten Grandslams.

But this is a parallel universe, so they wouldn't have won in 05, 08 or 12.

:P

smartypants

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

only if you'll be my right hand man.

First thing on the agenda will be to strike every record of thuggery by SA and English players.

That could take us a while bud, but in your parallel world surely they'd both be paragons of fair play?

you're right for a moment I forgot we are talking about the parallel world, there the Kiwi's and Ozzie's are the thugs.

Yeah, dorty barstewards, the BIRB (Biltong International Rugby Board) should consider banning them both from the next WC, in fact, as your trusted Lieutenant, I hereby table the motion!

See you in the final at Twickers chief!

Just because Wales played boring 10 man rugby to win the 2007 WC and South Africa were knocked out in the pool stages trying to play attacking rugby.

The BIRB - Its biased!

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

only if you'll be my right hand man.

First thing on the agenda will be to strike every record of thuggery by SA and English players.

That could take us a while bud, but in your parallel world surely they'd both be paragons of fair play?

you're right for a moment I forgot we are talking about the parallel world, there the Kiwi's and Ozzie's are the thugs.

Yeah, dorty barstewards, the BIRB (Biltong International Rugby Board) should consider banning them both from the next WC, in fact, as your trusted Lieutenant, I hereby table the motion!

See you in the final at Twickers chief!

motion is carried, now we just need to get rid of the Lawrence clan, unless you can think of a team we need to eliminate with their officiating

wales606 wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

only if you'll be my right hand man.

First thing on the agenda will be to strike every record of thuggery by SA and English players.

That could take us a while bud, but in your parallel world surely they'd both be paragons of fair play?

you're right for a moment I forgot we are talking about the parallel world, there the Kiwi's and Ozzie's are the thugs.

Yeah, dorty barstewards, the BIRB (Biltong International Rugby Board) should consider banning them both from the next WC, in fact, as your trusted Lieutenant, I hereby table the motion!

See you in the final at Twickers chief!

Just because Wales played boring 10 man rugby to win the 2007 WC and South Africa were knocked out in the pool stages trying to play attacking rugby.

The BIRB - Its biased!

you can bring it up at our next board meeting, the one where Wales is stripped of their RWC title

biltongbek wrote:

wales606 wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:Sack the IRB and put Biltong in charge.

NOW!

That is all.

only if you'll be my right hand man.

First thing on the agenda will be to strike every record of thuggery by SA and English players.

That could take us a while bud, but in your parallel world surely they'd both be paragons of fair play?

you're right for a moment I forgot we are talking about the parallel world, there the Kiwi's and Ozzie's are the thugs.

Yeah, dorty barstewards, the BIRB (Biltong International Rugby Board) should consider banning them both from the next WC, in fact, as your trusted Lieutenant, I hereby table the motion!

See you in the final at Twickers chief!

Just because Wales played boring 10 man rugby to win the 2007 WC and South Africa were knocked out in the pool stages trying to play attacking rugby.

The BIRB - Its biased!

you can bring it up at our next board meeting, the one where Wales is stripped of their RWC title

FIEND - I will set up a crack management team to fight this - Rob Andrews and Peter Devilliers. Bet your worried now!

The most shocking one of course would be what if the coin had landed the other way in the USA and the forward pass had been outlawed!

Rugby was played in the USA and in one game a player threw the ball forward, the players stopped and the referee had no idea if passing in this manner was legal, he tossed a coin, and the forward pass was legal, as a result American football developed using forward passes, in Britain we didnt do this. Imagine if the USA had stuck to the original rules?

That could really have altered things!

love the SAFE dude, good thread

wales606 wrote:FIEND - I will set up a crack management team to fight this - Rob Andrews and Peter Devilliers. Bet your worried now!

Nope, PDV in the parallel world is pretty much similar to the one in our world, talks a lot, but very few understands what he says. As for Rob Andrews, well what needs to be said?

biltongbek wrote:

Don't forget Morne Steyn as well, Pdivvy has been appointed by the IRB to run all advanced courses in coaching.

His book, coaching for dummies was a sell out, twice. (100 copies per issue)

Shouldn't that be Dummies for Coaching?

damage_13 wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

Don't forget Morne Steyn as well, Pdivvy has been appointed by the IRB to run all advanced courses in coaching.

His book, coaching for dummies was a sell out, twice. (100 copies per issue)

Shouldn't that be Dummies for Coaching?

sorry, man, I always get the title mixed up.

Surely PDV`s book should be called "How to win friends and influence people?2"in this parallel World France will win every match,English and French Clubs will actiually play home grown players,Bok players will actually play for Bok sides.WOW you must have really been smoking something Biltong to dream this up.The rest of the World especially NZ and Aus will give up rugby and take up community knitting because no one is interested in winning sides.

There may have been some smoking involved.