The One Tonne Scrum! (1000kg)

Watching the South African v England game last weekend I noticed that the SA Scrums weighed in at 912kg. WOW that’s a lot of meat! That got me thinking, as players are getting bigger, with an unlimited budget* could you build a scrum out of pro players that clocked in at the 1000kg mark.

Basic maths suggests that you will need each player to weigh in at ~125kg each. Common sense suggests that the front 5 will make up the bulk of the weight. But still you can get big boys at 7 like Gorgodze. So lets have a go.


1. James Johnston 140kg (Samoa)
2. John Smit 122kg (South Africa)
3. Census Johnston 135kg (Samoa)
4. Luke Charteris 129kg (Wales)
5. Aliki Fakate 135kg (France)
6. Willem Alberts 119kg (South Africa)
7. Mamuka Gorgodze 118kg (Georgia)
8. Billy Vunipola 128kg (England)

Current Weight = 1026kg

Crouch! Touch! Pauuuuuuuuse! Engage!

Retired Players: Fosi Pala'amo, Big Gav, Bill Cavubati.

Taken from:

http://www.premiershiprugby.com/premiership/stats/heaviest_players.php

Add in Fosi Pala'amo at LH 145kg, replace ELR with James Johnstone at 140kg at TH.

Add Gavin Quinnell to your second row at 138kg.

Gives you five players weigning a combined 670kg (I think)

Billy vunipola at 126 kg can be your no8

Simon Shaw for the second row at 122kg?

John Smit at hooker, 122kg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Smit

Census Johnson, can't remember how heavey, but I remember he is a lump (just looked it up 138 kg (300 lb)) So either he ousts Lewis-Roberts or one of htem needs to go loose-head.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Cavubati

Without a doubt Bill Cavubati at tighthead.

165kg (26 stone) (360 pounds)

1 - Fosi Pala'amo 145kg
2 - John Smit - 122kg
3 - Bill Cavubati - 165kg
4 - Simon Shaw - 122kg
5 - Luke Charteris - 129kg
6 - Gavin Quinnell - 138kg
7 - Mamuka Gorgodze 118.18kg
8 - Billy Vunipola at 126 kg

Total = 1065.18

But how mobile are they?

Tempted to have a backline to match it!

8 - Henry Tuilagi - 128kg
9 - Mike Phillips - 104kg
10 - Butch James - 98kg
11 - Alesana Tuilagi - 117kg
12 - Jamie Roberts - 110kg
13 - SBW - 108kg
14 - Matt Banahan - 116kg
15 - Chris Latham - 102kg

Sireli Naqelevuki at 13 from Exeter Chiefs at whopping 113kg. Nemani Nadolo on the wing, the former Exeter Chief weighs in at a staggering 130kg.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nemani_Nadolo

Thought that there would be some more Pacific Islanders in there. Bobo and Rabeni, as well as Caucau are all worth a mention. Even Rockocoko and Savea are 100+ kgs

That's very scary when you consider the 'hit' that scrum could put in, and the shear pressure and strain that would go through each players spine!

Smirnoffpriest wrote:That's very scary when you consider the 'hit' that scrum could put in, and the shear pressure and strain that would go through each players spine!

probably go to unconested scrums due to injury after the third or fourth scrum.


Out of interest what is the most lightweight (and mobile) pro pack people can thing of?

Bathite wrote:Tempted to have a backline to match it!

8 - Henry Tuilagi - 128kg
9 - Mike Phillips - 104kg
10 - Butch James - 98kg
11 - Alesana Tuilagi - 117kg
12 - Jamie Roberts - 110kg
13 - SBW - 108kg
14 - Matt Banahan - 116kg
15 - Chris Latham - 102kg

Lomu tipped the scales at 130kg one season

Sixteen Tons (song)

Spoiler:

Lyrics

Spoiler:

lyrics extract:

You load sixteen tons what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

Kiwireddevil wrote:

Bathite wrote:Tempted to have a backline to match it!

8 - Henry Tuilagi - 128kg
9 - Mike Phillips - 104kg
10 - Butch James - 98kg
11 - Alesana Tuilagi - 117kg
12 - Jamie Roberts - 110kg
13 - SBW - 108kg
14 - Matt Banahan - 116kg
15 - Chris Latham - 102kg

Lomu tipped the scales at 130kg one season

Thought Lomu was a bit obvious. Wanted to keep it at current players, but really struggled to think of a big lad of a full back. Luke McAllister played there a bit

If you want a big back line than surely CuaCua or what ever way you spell it should be on the wing.

We only need a #6!

Frans Steyn for full back? He's a big lad. 110kg.

#6 Ryan Jones, he's a big lumper.

Dowlais, Rupeni Caucaunibuca weighs in at 113kg. That's less than Alesana and no where near Nadolo.

Backline looking something like:

9 - Mike Phillips - 104kg
10 - Butch James - 98kg
11 - Alesana Tuilagi - 117kg
12 - Jamie Roberts - 110kg
13 - Naqelevuki - 113kg
14 - Nadolo - 130kg
15 - Frans Steyn - 110kg

We only need a #6!

Thomas Waldrom at 111kg or Ferris at 116kg?

You could cheat and have Roberts at FB and then just need a centre - a quick check of Fiji squad and there's Savenaca Aria whose 17stone (108kgs) so only a little smaller than Roberts.

Well, thats a hell of a scrum. How much do you think it'd cost a club to sign all of these players?

I'll get writting to the Cardiff Blues now.

Yep, I heard the Blues have got loads of cash

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Na'ama_Leleimalefaga

140kg

Hes only 120kg on ESPN Scrum and i can't find his Montpellier profile. I did how ever find Aliki Fakate. Can you imagen the cost of meals at training?

This is just an observation. But according to a body building magazines, a high end athlete can expect to leg press ~4.8 times their own body weight. I'm sure that some of the more educated people on the forum would be able to formulate a better equation. But a simple one is 1026 x 4.8 = 4.925t. That’s a lot of energy moving in once direction, not to mention being met by another high energy impact. Scary thought.

Hes only 120kg on ESPN Scrum and i can't find his Montpellier profile. I did how ever find Aliki Fakate. Can you imagen the cost of meals at training?

I heard the Tuilagi's kept multiple floor to ceiling freezers to store all the required meat at Alesana's. As well as Alesana and his wife there was Manu and Mulipola living there as well. That's Mulipola at 124kg, Manu at 113kg and Alesana at 117kg all sitting round a table every evening for dinner. Just what do you serve that's big enough?

formerly known as Sam wrote:

Hes only 120kg on ESPN Scrum and i can't find his Montpellier profile. I did how ever find Aliki Fakate. Can you imagen the cost of meals at training?

I heard the Tuilagi's kept multiple floor to ceiling freezers to store all the required meat at Alesana's. As well as Alesana and his wife there was Manu and Mulipola living there as well. That's Mulipola at 124kg, Manu at 113kg and Alesana at 117kg all sitting round a table every evening for dinner. Just what do you serve that's big enough?

Just chop the head off, lift the tail and wipe the @rse and put it on a platter. That should do them for starters.

You'd actually have to serve half a cow carcass!

I think pork and chicken are the Samoan staples so a whole roast chicken each or an entire roast hog with additional carbs and veg.

I would love to see them scrummage against an elephant. Like, I'd pay good money (well, about a tenner, but we'd all need to chip in) to see it.

Astonishingly, there's no room for Olly "20 Stone" Kohn in that scrum...

Not sure about most of the tight 5 terms of mobility but that back row are no slouches and JJ is amazingly quick for a) a tighthead and b) any individual of his size. There was a game last season where he caught and tackled a fresh-off-the-bench Sarries back rower who was on a charge for the line.

As for the backline, who wants a lightweight like Roberts when you could have Matthieu Bastareaud?

I'd actually love to see if, but its never gonna happen. Glad it is possible though!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM9POiQ91Kk
ITS PARTY TIME!

Smirnoffpriest wrote:That's very scary when you consider the 'hit' that scrum could put in, and the shear pressure and strain that would go through each players spines!

All scrums take their toll these days, Sheridan has lost 2 inches in height ! and look at England front row forwards over the last 10 years..Woodman retired neck injury, steve thompson retired (twice) neck injury, Phil vickery retired neck injury. jason leonard retired on his terms but with fused vertebrae in his spine, Sheridan...how many major shoulder opps ??

As far as scrummaging against the aforementioned lard arses weighing around 130 -140, i would much prefer to scrum against a heavy fatty than some guy 10-20kgs lighter who is strong and has good technique such as Cian healey, Tom smith etc...Tony buckley for example is 135kgs and can't scrummage for shoite, neither can smit at tighthead.

I know what you mean, and I didn't mean to say that the biggest scrum is necessarily the best but the sheer amount of weight and power that would be travelling in one direction, then meeting a similar amount of weight/power coming from the other direction - even if they can't scrum the impacts are still going to be huge and shoulders, necks and backs (and knees) are going to take an almighty battering no matter who goes forwards/backwards.

As you say, just look at how many front row players retire injured and the majority of front row players have lasting injuries when they retire

The Stormers this season have a pack which regularly weighs in over 930kg and they are 2nd on the SR ladder this season with 11 wins in 13 matches

This very well may be the 1st choice bok pack come the 4N

Coenie 127kg
Bismarck DP 114kg
Jannie DP 121kg
Bekker 120kg
Etzebeth 120kg
Schalk 111kg
Alberts 119kg
Spies 108kg

Thats a pack of 940kg... 30kg heavier than that which faced ENG recently and more mobile too. Scary really.

Then again the French often have one of the best scrums in the business and one of the few which matches the boks hit for hit... and they seldom reach above 850kg+.

Fosi Palaamo is listed as 145kg