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The official ryder cup thread.....

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Post by McLaren Wed 26 Sep 2012, 2:22 pm

First topic message reminder :

or at least what it should look like if we ignore the over hyped nature of the event;

The Ryder cup will be contested over Medinah country clubs number 3 course where Tiger Woods has won two of his four PGA championships. This is a rather odd choice of venue for a nation so patriotic like America, as the clubhouse is styled on the headquarters of the terrorists. And we know how much the terrorists hate America, and vice versa? The fans won’t know whether to watch the golf or build bunkers in their back gardens. The invasion has started!

We can only hope however, that the importance of golf’s second biggest team exhibition match – the most important being the Tavistock – is not overshadowed by such politics. Although, politics are set to overshadow the performance of one British player competing this week. The finest golfer in all of the Queens land is set to declare his nationality as Greek, in the hope he will not have to compete in this Mickey Mouse event next time around.

The captains have only very inconsequential decisions to make during the week yet one of them has already arsed it up. Ollie has decided that wearing orange was the only way to stop young Rory defecting. The reasoning of course being that Rory will be supporting the Florida gators after he switches to the US full time.

The only other influence the captains have on the outcome of the match is in their decision of golf buggy driving style. The manner in which they and their VC’s maneuver the buggy around the course can set the tone for the way the team plays. At least I assume that’s what they are doing, as there is no other logical reason for driving around like a headless chicken trying to use a walkie talkie.

What the vice captains do when not trying to drive like a peacock would dance with its plumage is all a little vague. I wonder if they provide protection from the Ryder cup troll, aka monty. Any player suffering the misfortune of hearing this beast, which is so excitable around Ryder cup season, may never make sense of anything ever again.

I guess we cant forget that somehow this buffoon managed to win the thing, proving the ceremonial nature of the captains position. But who will win this time?

The yanks are likely to be spooked playing in the shadows of a minaret but the Europeans will have to cope with the only thing more vacuous than westwood, monty’s and Donald’s major trophy cabinets combined……. Paul McGinley. Have you ever heard the fool witter on during the sky coverage?

The deciding factor will of course be, something that would require more wasted thought on this over bloated charity for majorless European golfers.

There we have it, they level of seriousness with which you should view this event unless you are a man boobed fake Scottish bloke with a huge whole in your CV.


Last edited by McLaren on Thu 27 Sep 2012, 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling)
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Post by Shotrock Thu 27 Sep 2012, 3:48 pm

Super - I haven't felt that moved since I saw Andy Murray blubbering away at Wimbledon!

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Post by GunsGerms Thu 27 Sep 2012, 3:58 pm

Or Gazza at the world cup.

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Post by navyblueshorts Thu 27 Sep 2012, 4:57 pm

Laugh clap Very good Mac.
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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 7:12 pm

laughing

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Post by EdWoodjr Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:42 pm

Threw caution to the wind by putting a fiver on the draw @ 10/1.
Last one was 1989. Law of averages ?

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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 9:43 pm

the only decent bet to take i reakon ed.

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Post by barragan Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:21 pm

"Reckon", for the love of toast and marmalade, it's "reckon"!!!
Do you know i asked the admin to add reakon to the swear filter..but they never did Whistle

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Post by barragan Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:21 pm

Sorry mysti ... Been a long day Hug

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Post by Tiler76 Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:28 pm

I reakon you need to chill out......

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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:32 pm

dont worry ban its all good. i love toast and marmalade tho...

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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:34 pm

What i do find amusing is that Mac s the first to have a pop at my spelling. Yet i noticed him using the word whole instead of hole in his OP.. he he

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Post by barragan Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:44 pm

Yep. I reakon i need to chill out too.
Hmmm, that does feel good.
I have some dyslexic tendencies - word scrambling if i read out loud for example. Perhaps i should just embrace the whole hog.
Write, eym awf fore sum tost anned marrmlaid thumbsup

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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:48 pm

Start by fixing your grammer dude(I's should be capitals me thinks)

Or if you wanna embrace it then dont try to hard to write dyslexic like- It has to come o'natural

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Post by barragan Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:50 pm

mystiroakey wrote:What i do find amusing is that Mac s the first to have a pop at my spelling. Yet i noticed him using the word whole instead of hole in his OP.. he he
Laugh it was quite a finishing sentence, even with that mystypo

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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:51 pm

mystypo- lol

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Post by barragan Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:53 pm

Its such an effort on a wee phone. I blame Samsung for not having an auto capitaliser for the humble but frequently used i.

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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:54 pm

Yeah my samsung creates words i cant even understand on that silly autofill!!

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Post by barragan Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:56 pm

Thought you might like that

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Post by barragan Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:57 pm

You mean silly words like reckon? Are you sure it's not a spell checker...

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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:59 pm

Nah I am on the alienware at the moment.. I just can't spell reckon. I only post on my samsung whilst driving or flying my chopper

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Post by SmithersJones Thu 27 Sep 2012, 11:00 pm

I've never heard it described as flying before.
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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 11:01 pm

laughing

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Post by barragan Thu 27 Sep 2012, 11:03 pm

Wow - a mysti post containing the correct spelling for reckon. This is a momentus occasion I reakon .

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Post by mystiroakey Thu 27 Sep 2012, 11:06 pm

Poults v woods tommorow- love it(with rose and stricker- but lets not worry about them to much)

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Post by pedro Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:27 am

The opening cermony was pretty embarrassing stuff. Apart from the tacky music and entertainment, the US team apparently had been dressed up as Borat and the Euros covered in cheap looking sunglasses which even the closest Wal-Mart couldn't have supplied worse. Maybe to cover the hangover from yesterdays pubbing with some of the vice captains? And what's with Miguel Angel Jimenez anyway? He looked like he'd just flown in from Hollywood after taking part in "The Wrestler, part 2". If fashion Police was around, they'd have to call in reinforcement from the nearest Nirvana reunion concert... Shocked shocking. A bit dissappointed though, that neither Davis Love nor Bubba Watson burst out in tears. I almost did - but only due to above mentioned reasons.

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Post by super_realist Fri 28 Sep 2012, 10:02 am

Golf is the least cool sport in the world (except for Cricket and Rugby perhaps) so any sort of opening ceremony, especially one organised by Americans' is going to be an utter shambles and seat squirmingly shiversome.

Chicago, Justin Timberlake. Come on, Surely you could do better than that?

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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 10:27 am

Golf and cricket are the coolest sports in the world..

Golf is played by the rockstars, footballers, etc..

Cricket is played by the coolest West indians on the planet.

Respect to JT for his recent film Time. But what the heck was he doing on this- They should have had alice cooper on there eating a bat or something

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Post by GunsGerms Fri 28 Sep 2012, 10:47 am

Actually cricket is pretty lame. Games getting called off because of a little rain. Dumb.

Golf is completly nerdy but a great sport.

Rugby is cool.

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Post by super_realist Fri 28 Sep 2012, 10:55 am

Oakey, footballers are certainly not cool.

The best thing about Cricket is lunch while Rugby is just latent homosexuality.

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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 10:55 am

Rugby is decent and hardcore- but it isnt as cool as golf and cricket

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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 10:56 am

Yeah I forgot about them cucumber sarnies!!!


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Post by Diggers Fri 28 Sep 2012, 10:58 am

I dont think many people who dont play golf think its a cool sport, in fact I suspect it would be pretty near the top of uncool sports for the majority.
The clothing gear has for sure got a lot better but a lot of the fuddiduddiness still makes it uncool.

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Post by super_realist Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:00 am

I don't know anyone who thinks Rugby is cool, it's too much sailing slacks/blazers and striped ties with the protagonists usually being fat at amateur level and having a stupid Jack Wills quiff and behaving like absolute cox in the bar.

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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:03 am

Nah its cool if you want it be!! I know there are plenty of dimwits that dont get the coolness of it. This is a game that allows me to go on a lads trip 4 times a year. Its a game that i can play and have work meetings at the same time. It gets you out in the fresh air , the scenary is amazing..Good times.. And anyone who is anyone plays the game. The coolest dudes on the planet play it.. There is reverse snobbery about the game out there- But the people that think that way are the definition of uncool in my eyes!!

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Post by GunsGerms Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:05 am

super_realist wrote:Oakey, footballers are certainly not cool.

The best thing about Cricket is lunch while Rugby is just latent homosexuality.

Homosexsuality is very cool right now so therefore rugby is extra cool. Golf is a particularly gay sport but cant think of any gay golfers. I'd say most cricketers are bent off the rails though.

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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:08 am

Thats a good point actually. As there arnt many gay golfers it cant be that cool. You got me thinking!

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Post by pedro Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:09 am

Although being gay golfer (soft wrists) would probably be an advantage when chipping around green.

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Post by GunsGerms Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:10 am

super_realist wrote:I don't know anyone who thinks Rugby is cool, it's too much sailing slacks/blazers and striped ties with the protagonists usually being fat at amateur level and having a stupid Jack Wills quiff and behaving like absolute cox in the bar.

Yes you do, I think its cool. What is it with you and fat people. Thats why rugby is cool because we let fat people play and sometimes half retarded ones too.

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Post by Diggers Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:11 am

mystiroakey wrote:Nah its cool if you want it be!! I know there are plenty of dimwits that dont get the coolness of it. This is a game that allows me to go on a lads trip 4 times a year. Its a game that i can play and have work meetings at the same time. It gets you out in the fresh air , the scenary is amazing..Good times.. And anyone who is anyone plays the game. The coolest dudes on the planet play it.. There is reverse snobbery about the game out there- But the people that think that way are the definition of uncool in my eyes!!

Some very good point in there Mysti, a lot of hyperbole as well but thats fair enough. Some cool dudes may well play it but a serious amount of very uncool people play it as well but thats probably true of most sports.

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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:11 am

love it SR is back!!

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Post by Diggers Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:14 am

mystiroakey wrote:Thats a good point actually. As there arnt many gay golfers it cant be that cool. You got me thinking!

Isnt Europes RC captain meant to be gay ? There arent realkly many people who come out in any sport so golfs probably no better or worse on that front, though arent a few of the ladies gay ? Laura Davies or did I just make that up because she looks like she should be.

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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:14 am

Thats good diggs, you put me back on track. JMO certainly looks gay in his BBC pic

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Post by McLaren Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:16 am

Mods

Can we please have the homophobic comments removed.

Thanks

Mac.
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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:18 am

Mac - just so wrong on so many levels pal

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Post by SmithersJones Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:19 am

I always used to think Adam Scott was gay, though he evidently isn't. I think Olly is, but aside from him I can't think of anyone.
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Post by GunsGerms Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:19 am

McLaren nobody is being homophobic.

Gareth Thomas as you know is a high profile and very well respected rugby player who came out while playing. Rugby very cool.

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Post by mystiroakey Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:20 am

Ok i give you that one- however whats cool about him going on Big brother?

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Post by Diggers Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:21 am

SmithersJones wrote:I always used to think Adam Scott was gay, though he evidently isn't. I think Olly is, but aside from him I can't think of anyone.

The fact that a guy has a high profile girlfriend may well be an indicator that he is gay, happens a lot in the TV and film world. A PR marriage of convenience.

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Post by pedro Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:23 am

SmithersJones wrote:I always used to think Adam Scott was gay, though he evidently isn't. I think Olly is, but aside from him I can't think of anyone.
Zach Johnson.

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Post by super_realist Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:24 am

Mac, nobody was being homophobic, just that there are homosexual undertones to Rugby.

I've also heard rumours about GMac's inclinations.

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