Euro Division Homepage XXXVIII

First topic message reminder :

606V2 EURODivision

Announcements

Teams in The Fan league, PM tactics to Sodhat , send votes to Hero
Teams in the Cherries League, PM tactics to Hero & Afro, send votes to Sodhat

CUP TACTICS AND VOTES TO MARKY

Those who voted, and posted tactics can add £2.5m to their budgets.

Those who didn't do both of those things get £1m only.

The Fan Gilhaus 'Whooooo?' League

Deportivo la Chorizo - Gregers Under Brescia FC - Afro Bratwurst Mannschaft - Treble Bradistan Glue Sniffers - Nadeem Bunga Bunga FC - Olly
Total Juan Carrs FC - Hero

Table

VFL Fassbender - Bull

AHAAAAAAAAAA Alan Partridge FC - Tooze


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the Cherries loves Neymar Championship

Atalanta Falcons - Sodhat

Tactics

FC Murder On Zidane's Floor - Zinedine

Injuries

Deportivo My Sharona - Marky

Lawyers

Spanish Bank FC - GSC

Fixtures

Moleicester City - Fernando

Results

No Respek FC - Azzy

Table

Pass the Deutschie - Viva

FC Ich spreche kein Deutsch - Russell Elmo

Zebs - I advertised the fact on Friday, not my fault you were off smoking crack.

I was tired of Villa being called unfit / out of form, so I'll let someone else handle those criticisms now

A fair deal for both teams though

Good news guys

West Ham/Stoke is the Monday Night Football game next week. One for the footballing purists to savour.

Zebs - I advertised the fact on Friday, not my fault you were off smoking crack.

Hey! Leave the crack out of this, it hasnt done anything to you.

I was tired of Villa being called unfit / out of form

Thats as stupid as my formation not working because I dont have a tall man upfront, Heros being "ridiculous" and so on

sodhat wrote:Good news guys

West Ham/Stoke is the Monday Night Football game next week. One for the footballing purists to savour.

Sorry soddy, I am shaving my nutsack that night. In addition to waxing my crack and getting my Prince Albert pierced.

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

I was tired of Villa being called unfit / out of form

Thats as stupid as my formation not working because I dont have a tall man upfront, Heros being "ridiculous" and so on

Not at all. I now have £35m in the kitty with the TP limit going up at midnight

Electric razor or a "wet" shave

If you use a blade, be careful. That shiz is wrinkly.

sodhat wrote:Electric razor or a "wet" shave

If you use a blade, be careful. That shiz is wrinkly.

Wet. Don't worry, it's not my first time.

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

Zebs - I advertised the fact on Friday, not my fault you were off smoking crack.

Hey! Leave the crack out of this, it hasnt done anything to you.

I was tired of Villa being called unfit / out of form

Thats as stupid as my formation not working because I dont have a tall man upfront, Heros being "ridiculous" and so on

Not really. He was so bad for Barce in the first 9 or 10 games, they were chasing a goal in El Clasico and he stayed on the bench. He was genuinely having an absolute stinker of a time.

Now I was going to say to Azzy that he had looked a lot better in more recent games for Barca and Spain, but then he was back to average against Mallorca at the weekend, including missing an open goal.

At the time, I thought he was a poor star player purchase, but I think Azzy has got himself a great deal there, made a profit and will be able to take his pick in the TP market tomorrow

Azzy Mahmood wrote:

sodhat wrote:Electric razor or a "wet" shave

If you use a blade, be careful. That shiz is wrinkly.

Wet. Don't worry, it's not my first time.

You should open a balls salon.

A staff of you, and failed hairdressers with ever dwindling reasons to live.

He was genuinely having an absolute stinker of a time.

Bit harsh, he is slowly improving. But no he doesnt look like the same Villa that IMO was the best striker in the world few season ago.

You couild call it Smooth Balls

Who's going to be out first customer? Volunteers? You can pay full price of £15, or get a 50% discount and a trainee will have a go.

Villa is a great player, versatile, and Marky will do very well with him in his side with Jovetic. I have plans, don't you worry

Azzy Mahmood wrote:Who's going to be out first customer? Volunteers? You can pay full price of £15, or get a 50% discount and a trainee will have a go.

Villa is a great player, versatile, and Marky will do very well with him in his side with Jovetic. I have plans, don't you worry

Is the price definitely the only thing that will be slashed?

You could do styles too. Like the Hamsik mohican, or the Cuellar underbush.

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

He was genuinely having an absolute stinker of a time.

Bit harsh, he is slowly improving. But no he doesnt look like the same Villa that IMO was the best striker in the world few season ago.

I don't think it was harsh.

He has looked no better than Torres when he first returned from injury at Liverpool and he couldn't buy a good performance.

Azzy Mahmood wrote:Who's going to be out first customer? Volunteers? You can pay full price of £15, or get a 50% discount and a trainee will have a go.

Villa is a great player, versatile, and Marky will do very well with him in his side with Jovetic. I have plans, don't you worry

I would put him as a good/great player at around the £15m level now. He will still do well though because he is David Villa and his name will get him ratings.

He will still do well though because he is David Villa and his name will get him ratings

Exactly.

sodhat wrote:

Azzy Mahmood wrote:Who's going to be out first customer? Volunteers? You can pay full price of £15, or get a 50% discount and a trainee will have a go.

Villa is a great player, versatile, and Marky will do very well with him in his side with Jovetic. I have plans, don't you worry

Is the price definitely the only thing that will be slashed?

You could do styles too. Like the Hamsik mohican, or the Cuellar underbush.

The Hashim Amla?

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

He will still do well though because he is David Villa and his name will get him ratings

Exactly.

Not his looks though. He's just a taller, less chubby Nick Fury lookalike

BigFellasAfro wrote:

sodhat wrote:

Azzy Mahmood wrote:Who's going to be out first customer? Volunteers? You can pay full price of £15, or get a 50% discount and a trainee will have a go.

Villa is a great player, versatile, and Marky will do very well with him in his side with Jovetic. I have plans, don't you worry

Is the price definitely the only thing that will be slashed?

You could do styles too. Like the Hamsik mohican, or the Cuellar underbush.

The Hashim Amla?

You could do "the orthodox jew" aswell. More questions than answers from your partner if you pull though.

sodhat wrote:

BigFellasAfro wrote:

sodhat wrote:

Azzy Mahmood wrote:Who's going to be out first customer? Volunteers? You can pay full price of £15, or get a 50% discount and a trainee will have a go.

Villa is a great player, versatile, and Marky will do very well with him in his side with Jovetic. I have plans, don't you worry

Is the price definitely the only thing that will be slashed?

You could do styles too. Like the Hamsik mohican, or the Cuellar underbush.

The Hashim Amla?

You could do "the orthodox jew" aswell. More questions than answers from your partner if you pull though.

Would that mean Azzy would have to provide some kind of kippah and a way to attach it?

I imagine it would require metal screws to hold it in place, so it's one of the more invasive ball cuts.

Is it just me that thinks this kind of business would take off in Essex? I might open it on Brentwood high street.

You guys are all being very harsh on Villa (he's scored in all three games for me this season so far).

Not to mention my Smooth Balls shop. There's nothing wrong with wanting to take care of random men's balls.

Viva, we really need to go on Dragon's Den with this. You, me, Peter Jones and £50k for 33% of the business

Obviously he gets free trims anytime he likes.

I think you need to think about that a bit more.

Peter Jones is 6' 7" so I imagine his balls are above average. Perhaps Theo Fajitas would be a better bet for free trims. I'd say even Debra Meaden has bigger balls than him

Surely you won't charge for ball size?

It has to be a flat rate for each style; non-discriminatory.

Thats my point. It's the same rate, but more work for bigger balls. They are less profitable.

BigFellasAfro wrote:Thats my point. It's the same rate, but more work for bigger balls. They are less profitaball.

Sorry, missed a joke there, so have corrected it.

Probably best market towards smaller balls then.

Something like: "trimming makes your balls look 33% larger" to draw the punters in.

"You'll go ball-istic for our range of styles!"

And a special for when the NFL have their games at Wembley

"Get sacked like Cutler"

I am not trimming Yankee Doodle Dandy ball sacks. Ever.

"You don't have to be nuts to work here, but you will have to shave them."

Sorry, my morning is being consumed by this now.

Or even a slight adaptation of yours

"Go nad (mad) for our range of styles"

"Fancy a pluck? Let us at your b0llocks."

Less subtle.

Is it a valid excuse if I can't vote because I was too busy thinking of balls related gags?


Azzy - I think your marketing team is sorted.

"Think you're too sensitive for the shave? We offer a free test tickle"

This is a go-er. Brentwood high street, Dragon on board. All we need is a celebrity endorsement

"Come for a festive trim and Santa's sack won't be the only one getting attention this Christmas. If you get what we mean."

Have we got a replacement for Bull yet?

I'll ask around a bit more

I hope people look in and think we just talk about balls!

I asked on the Elite League this morning, and I think someone mentioned it on the Realistic League too.

Azzy Mahmood wrote:This is a go-er. Brentwood high street, Dragon on board. All we need is a celebrity endorsement

Can I suggest 2/3rds of Right Said Fred?

Or Lee Carsley and Thomas Gravesen?

sodhat wrote:I hope people look in and think we just talk about balls!

I asked on the Elite League this morning, and I think someone mentioned it on the Realistic League too.

There's a good chance considering that's exactly the case this morning. A brief mention of the weekend football, a slight debate on David Villa and then bang straight into the main subject of the day, ball trimming.

What about Ed Balls?

"Don't Labour over your own nuts." - Ed Balls

Anyone who takes that team on is getting a good starting position. Bull has built a pretty decent squad compared to others, with still plenty of scope for someone to make it their own.

We need someone who wouldn't be scared of having it done and showing the world a before and after shot.

I suggest Johnny Ball Reveals All

What did people think of my tactics this week? Improvemnt?

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:What did people think of my tactics this week? Improvemnt?

Ballsy!

Seriously though, only had a quick scan, but yeah, look really good this week. Will have a proper look when I come to vote a bit later on, and feedback a bit more.

Cool. cheers afro. They were a bit ballsy but I think I have top be to try pick up a result.

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:Cool. cheers afro. They were a bit ballsy but I think I have top be to try pick up a result.

I think you needed to shave a bit off.

I think you needed to shave a bit off.

Do you like em smooth Soddy?

for the AHAAAAAAAAAA Alan Partridge FC v VFL Fassbender is that being replayed? or do i give defult?