Team Wilshere

The first task - DEADLINE 2359 ON THURSDAY 22 NOVEMBER - is very simple. England played Sweden on Wednesday night - I want you to tell me what each of the starting XI would be doing if they weren't footballers. To be clear: this isn't a test of what did Joe Hart get in his Art GSCE, but a test of character assessment. You tell me what each player would be suited to in the real world, and the winning team will get a luxury prize. And from the losing team, one of you will be FIRED!

Viva, you are the Captain of Team Wilshere, and Olly, you are the Captain of Team Scholes. Please ask questions if you need any clarity.

Lord Azzy Mahmood

Hart - Lonely heart adverst for twilight fanboys
Johnson
Caulker DIY Handyman
Cahill road works spends most time on greggs
Baines part time Batman nemesis Bane (Baines)
Cleverley Salesman for marmite love him or hate him
Gerrard does security for dj incase they get attacked by Footballers
Osman Sells kebabs from his ice cream van
Young diving instructor in Birmingham
Sterling - Right wing politician
Welbeck Bambi

i propose a name change

We cannot, that's already been declared.

cherriesfan wrote:i propose a name change

Me tooooo. Lets do it Cherries, I wanna be known as the "Lotion Boys" cause I feel super gay today.

Is it really your girlfriend that wants to see Twilight 3 nights in a row, or are you just covering it up?

You can tell us, we're all friends here.

new name idea
team cherries is uber sexay
team neymar is awsome
team tubbs was a waste of money

make ur choice

cherriesfan wrote:new name idea
team cherries is uber sexay
team neymar is awsome
team tubbs was a waste of money

make ur choice

Did you see this pen, Cherries?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/video/2012/nov/15/worst-penalty-brazil-neymar-video

sodhat wrote:Is it really your girlfriend that wants to see Twilight 3 nights in a row, or are you just covering it up?

You can tell us, we're all friends here.

honestly it's her but Twiilight has got me into a gayish mood.

sodhat wrote:

cherriesfan wrote:new name idea
team cherries is uber sexay
team neymar is awsome
team tubbs was a waste of money

make ur choice

Did you see this pen, Cherries?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/video/2012/nov/15/worst-penalty-brazil-neymar-video

it was the pitch not neymars fault

Cherries I'm the captain and I pick the name, we are known as Lotion Boys. I don't care how gay it sounds.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Cherries I'm the captain and I pick the name, we are known as Lotion Boys. I don't care how gay it sounds.

How about neymars lotion boys, sounds more gay

cherriesfan wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Cherries I'm the captain and I pick the name, we are known as Lotion Boys. I don't care how gay it sounds.

How about neymars lotion boys, sounds more gay

Neymars Oily Sexy Lotion Boys?

I say: Team VivaTwilightDiva

How about as Captain we concentrate more on the task in hand rather than spend how long discussing a name?

I think Lotion boys sounds a lot better than any of cherries suggestions

But we are not allowed to change it. if we do it could be automatic defeat. Plus it shows we are the team for the future and the others are past it.

So how we going to do this. I suggest someone posting up starting XI and we go from there

VivaPaulScholes wrote:

cherriesfan wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Cherries I'm the captain and I pick the name, we are known as Lotion Boys. I don't care how gay it sounds.

How about neymars lotion boys, sounds more gay

Neymars Oily Sexy Lotion Boys?

yes lets go with that

Hero I'm just waiting on Azzy to tell us if it's just the England side we do or Sweden too.

Afro when did you join us?

Neymar = youth
Oily = we can extend are abliltys by slipping into tight ideas and scienarios
Sexy, womez wll wnt us and our ideas and stuffs
Lotion = we ca apply ourselves like we apply lotion
Boys = we are strong and masculine

It's just England.

cherriesfan wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:

cherriesfan wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Cherries I'm the captain and I pick the name, we are known as Lotion Boys. I don't care how gay it sounds.

How about neymars lotion boys, sounds more gay

Neymars Oily Sexy Lotion Boys?

yes lets go with that

How about, "Raging Massive Hardons for Neymars Super Duper Sexy Lotion Boys and Nick_Fury Sucks Of Everyone"

Starting Lineup:
Hart
Johnson
Caulker
Cahill
Baines
Cleverley
Gerrard
Osman
Young
Sterling
Welbeck

Subs:
Ruddy
Jenkinson
Bertrand
Jagielka
Shawcross
Wilshere
18 Huddlestone
Zaha
Sturridge
Forster

This morning Viva.

Azzy has already said it's just England only, we can't change the name, so lets just get going

Hero wrote:It's just England.

Ok I'll start now, is Afro playing too?

Viva
Zebs
Hero
CF
Cherries
Gregers
GSC
Afro

Ok there is 8 of us here, I want each one of you to pick one player that you'd like first come first serve, With three player left we can do that one as a team.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:

cherriesfan wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:

cherriesfan wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Cherries I'm the captain and I pick the name, we are known as Lotion Boys. I don't care how gay it sounds.

How about neymars lotion boys, sounds more gay

Neymars Oily Sexy Lotion Boys?

yes lets go with that

How about, "Raging Massive Hardons for Neymars Super Duper Sexy Lotion Boys and Nick_Fury Sucks Of Everyone"

yes as vice captain of the team i agree on that, change the thread name!

Look at thier background, where they come from, the interviews theyve done in Football, etc and base it on that.

I pick Gerrard.

His job: Picking songs on jukeboxes and getting ex player's daughters up the duff.

Reckon he'd be good at that.

Ill take: Sterling

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Look at thier background, where they come from, the interviews theyve done in Football, etc and base it on that.

Too much IMO.

Divvy the players up and try and go for as funny as possible, while actually relevant to the player (like the Gerrard suggestion)

Leon Osman

working in a kebab shop in Bootle?
Running a texi cab company in Eastenders?

Ashley Young - running a (skuba) diving school in Birmingham

BigFellasAfro wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Look at thier background, where they come from, the interviews theyve done in Football, etc and base it on that.

Too much IMO.

Divvy the players up and try and go for as funny as possible, while actually relevant to the player (like the Gerrard suggestion)

Thats what Hero said to me I disagreed. I dont think Azzy is looking for lolz and funny laughs. Lets see what the rest say, if they agree with you two then we may go with that.

Cleverley - devoting his time to his Facebook group he's set up called ' I hate Jack Wilshire', total membership number 3 (him, Viva and ZZZ). Currently in the process of making up a t-shirt with the slogan 'Jack Wilshite more like' because he think's that's amusing.

I know exactly what Sterling would be if not a footballer, easy one. On the doll with several kids.

Sturridge would probably be some arrogant badman gamgsta wannabe.

Wilshere- easy! He would be the Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ.

Caulker - well coem on need i say any more.

Hart - wpould be a barman in the one and only club in Shrewsbury

Huddlestone - Looks liek a PE teacher (dot know why)

"To be clear: this isn't a test of what did Joe Hart get in his Art GSCE, but a test of character assessment. You tell me what each player would be suited to in the real world,"

You might be right on the lolz, but I think it is basically assess the players character/attributes on what you see, without needing to look at background.

I think some lolz would not go amiss. You need to pinpoint something that each player is well known for, so Ashley Young, for example, has a reputation for diving, so diving seems an appropriate job.

I agree Afro, jeez footballers at the best of times are dull as dishwater and generally thick as. For most of them the simple answer would be on the dole or manual labour.

Cleverley is either loved or hated on here, so perhaps a Marmite salesman might be a good one

Sterling is known for being a farther, so on Jobseekers seens fitting for a 17 year old dad.

Fair enough Afro we go with that.

Im liking the ideas so far except Heros on Cleverly.

How about Wilshere is a Paul Scholes' impersonator, but he so good everyone thinks the real Paul Scholes is the impersonator?

Caulker is an obvious one guys. May not be any scrap of truth but its a straight forward funny one.
Who uses a Caulker. Steven Caulker does !

We're just doing the starting XI.

Wilshere was warming the bench for Cleverly who needs a rest,you know fighting for the title is not as easy as fighting for 4th place.

Right, the task is definately all about making Azzy laugh, so lets go for as funny as possible.

Perhaps we all have a go at every player and we pick the best for each player - with Viva getting final say?

I really like the Marmite salesman one for Cleverley

I like the marmite one too

Just PM'd you Viva

Yeah Afro if we all put a couple lines on each player, I like the marmite one too.

Joe 'Lonely' Hart

Joe sets up an internet dating agency for people wanting to romance footballers.
One person immediately joins and sets up an account that reads:

Professor Green wannabee seeks ageing redhead to watch Twilight together (several times).

I like that a lot Hero.

We'll have this finished by the end of the day at this rate

thats good Hero