The South African way.

First topic message reminder :

The environment I grew up in South Africa in the seventies had no gangs, crime, drugs or anything that you would call untoward. It was an environment that was pretty normal.

I went to 7 primary schools in my life, my Mother only settled when I went to Standard 7 (grade nine) where I managed to complete my last four years of schooling at one school.

I guess most of us grow up in a school environment where bullies reign supreme and run most playgrounds, so I don’t think South Africa in the seventies were much different from any other place, at least not in the environment I grew up in.

So very early on in life I came to realize when you are the new kid on the block you need to stand your ground when the local school bullies come knocking.

You then have rugby, a sport revered by Afrikaner fathers, when your son is born the first thing you do is buy him a rugby ball, no matter what it is made of, a little rubbery one filled with the stuff they make Teddy Bears from, or these ones you get at supermarkets and Garages, they have a thin plastic or latex covering and have a type of sponge in the center.

The next thing you look at when he is born is how big is his …….well you know what I mean.

When the family visits, or the neighbor comes visiting, even when the Uncle that comes to your house to fix the plumbing, they all ask the same question when you are a boy.

Do you play rugby, what position?

If you are a wing, they want to know how many tries have you scored, and most importantly how many big blokes have you tackled.

At camp fires and family get-togethers , rugby is the one subject that doesn’t get neglected, yeah sure they talk about work, Cars, women etc. but it is the rugby that gets heated, it is a way of life you see, little else carries the same importance.

So as you grow up you learn one thing pretty early on in life. Don’t show fear, don’t run away and hopefully that will get you through life without a fight.

There are however times when showing no fear or smooth talking don’t have the required result and you realize the time has come to put up or shut up. You see the weak or sissies or whatever you want to call it suffer at the hands of the bigger and stronger kids, it is merely a way of life, (well it was back in the seventies).

I am not trying to paint a picture of South Africans being uncouth, uneducated ruffians, but the mentality that goes with growing up in the seventies.

So at school I was fortunate enough to walk away without fighting most times, but there were a handful of times when those fights were necessary to establish your pecking order at school.

The same applied to the rugby field in those days. When I went to high school, my captain who was a year ahead of me told me before a game, “When a bloke hits you, mark him, so we can all take him out.” That is how it worked.

Many a time I would come off the field with a jersey full of blood (often mine as well) but you walked proudly back to the school bus because you manned up.

Looking at my son and his first year of 15’s rugby I don’t think much have changed, the same principles apply, even if discipline and foul play is officiated more strictly these days.

The point I am trying to make is that each country have their own traditions, culture etc.

For an Afrikaner things are simpler, man up, respect your elders, respect your wife, love your children, make an honest day’s living and care for your family.

Discipline your children and give them the opportunities you can, but make sure they are always safe.

Rugby holds many of those values, respect, honor, honesty, hard work, love etc.

That is why we associate with rugby, the physical battle , the intimidation, the collisions, all comes naturally to us. It isn’t all to our benefit though, as we tend to run at the defender rather than the gap, we have this inbred mentality we are physically superior and the defender will yield.

Yeah, not the smartest players on the pitch are we? So if you want to taunt us to get retaliation it is likely to happen, only the most disciplined like Juan Smith, John Smit etc have been able to go through their careers without being called for thuggery.

Remember Brad Thorn up ending John Smit in front of the referee in 2009? John went for neck surgery and the next season got Thorn back with one of the most perfectly executed driving tackles you’ll see in rugby.

So we aren’t all brutes who can’t discipline ourselves, we’ll get you, even if it is a year later and as legal as can be.

You see showing you are tough and being tough isn’t about elbows in the face, fingers in the eye, head butts or any other illegal dangerous transgressions, it is about facing your opponent head on and manning up.

Everything else is just semantics.

I went to a religious school so I was taught on the rugby field it was always better to give than to receive. Seeing as I was a scrawny kid, I saved the souls of many a forward in my team by getting them to do all the giving for me.

Why does a relatively strong country with aspirational ambitions and high ideals not try to put the willies up its northern neighbour Bilt?

A couple of years ago whilst my vrou was expecting we went to Paarl for the day and decided to pop into a few of the schools for junior. My skoenpa is a paarlboys old boy but given schalk went to gym I have a soft spot for them.

Anyhow in 40c heat in the middle of the afternoon you see groups of kids in their thick blazers and trousers more akin to a British winter. I was amazed... Why don't they take their jackets off, lessons are over?

I was told when they're outside in their uniform, they must always respect the school no matter the conditions and not one kid rebelled... Probably out of fear no doubt.

In the uk half the school pupils would riot complaining of torture.... But that's why that school had 5 World Cup winners from 07.. And my alma mater has zero.