Your darkest hour?

Given the sheer frustration golf can cause to those who play it, I assume we have all had moments of deep mental torment on the course or while thinking about the game. I have heard many playing partners threaten to place their clubs on eBay and never set foot on the course again and in some cases I have noticed people who once loved the game are no where to be seen around the club. I think we all know someone who used to play in every comp and practice more than most who has now give up the game. Presumably having reached the depths of despair with the game.

Of course not all of us who loose patience with the game leave it altogether, but we must surely all have had times where our interest in the game just seemed to wane. Reaching a point where the game starts to anger us and feel like a real chore to engage with. As well as a general loss of interest some golfers will have more acute problems with the game where in a flash of hatred the game has presented itself as a mortal enemy, and maybe a defining moment in your golfing life was born.

So what might cause a golfers darkest hour? Our own games - lack of ability - seems the obvious culprit as even the best payers will never reach the heights they desire. Although nothing is worse than a slow decline in your playing abilities, whatever the cause.

What about slow play or the multitude of other habits playing partners can display.

Club politics? Have the club and its membership pushed you over the edge in some way?

I am sure there are many ways that the game has inflicted misery on you as a golfer, but I want to hear the story about how you reached the lowest point in your relationship with golf?

Good idea for a thread.

My dark moments stem from the fact that there isn't necessarily a correlation between practice and improvement.

When you put in hours and hours of practice and effort only to play garbage golf.

A few years ago we had an away day somewhere in the west midlands. I had started well for my standard - par, bogey, par - when we reached the par 5 4th. Lovely looking hole, you have to drive over a lake, I think the carry is something like 150 yds. I duck hooked my tee shot. Plop. 3 off the tee. Plop. 5 off the tee. Plop. Managed to somehow hook my fourth tee shot so far left it missed the water and proceeded to make a 14. I don't think I've ever quite gotten over that.

I find that my last few holes can determine how I feel about golf. If I played reasonably well for my standard and then made a dog's dinner out of the last few holes, I can leave never wanting to play again. However if I played poorly most of the round, then well for the last few holes, it gives me encouragement to come back again.

My darkest moment was probably not realising I was addicted to the game. It was about 2008 and I was playing or practicing it every single day.
I learned to hate the game, didn't enjoy it, didn't even know why I played it and crucially wasn't getting better in line with the amount of effort I was putting in.

Thank goodness I moved house otherwise I may still have been going to putt at 5am.

I now play more for fun, fewer competitions and try and forget about scores and just focus on trying to play well.

About 5 years ago I punched the fence beside the tee box. Hard.

I had stood up thinking "Don't hook it out of bounds", and then hooked it out of bounds.

Then I grew up and have played a lot better and enjoyed the game a lot more since.

waiting for yours Mac............

Thought Processes:

Don't hook it out of bounds = hook it out of bounds

Don't leave it short = leave it short

So...

Drill it 300 up the middle = hook it out of bounds

Slot this baby in the hole = leave it short, 3 putt double

Means

You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't so sod it and have fun.

If you're relying on golf to feed your children, being poopie could lead to dark times, but fortunately it's what I choose to do for fun so I must do everything I can to make it fun. If the golf is poopie, enjoy the banter/course/views/fresh air. If the golf isn't getting better and you're practising a lot, stop practising and start simply playing. If you aren't scoring as well as you were just score as well as you can.

I know it's a thread about your darkest hour (and a good thread idea it is too) but in terms of golf, my darkest hour was +21 off 6 yet it was one of the best days on the course as it became more and more hysterical with every passing double. Besides it was sunny, warm and I was with my mates and without my phone.

Darkest hour now is course closed due to inclement weather!

probably a huge argument i had with my father during a round. didnt speak for the next few holes then went straight home and didnt play again for about 2 years.

have chilled a lot since then, bad shots don't bother me at all now.

Not sure if I've had a "darkest" hour but giving up the game as a low-teens handicapper for years when my children were infants, and returning to it with long club yips was heartbreaking. Still have them! And handicap has doubled.
Still dark, no light at the end of this tunnel.

"Your darkest hour?"

How long of you got! (lol)

Still, getting the yips remains the 'stand out' lowest point for me. Having watched others trying to cope with them, I'd always promised myself I'd give up the game rather than endure them on a permanent basis. Fortunately, I found a way back by switching around and putting left-handed. Twelve years on, I remain in remission.

Roller_Coaster wrote:Thought Processes:

Don't hook it out of bounds = hook it out of bounds

Don't leave it short = leave it short

Drill it 300 up the middle = hook it out of bounds

Slot this baby in the hole = leave it short, 3 putt double

So......what about DO hook it out of bounds = 300 up the middle?

Shooting 102 in a medal a few months after joining the club in Edinburgh. A daft day where everything went wrong. Just couldn't seem to hit the ball without leaving myself in an impossible situation. I think it was the day I realised I needed help with my game. 4 year's of nomadic golf had destroyed the reliable swing of my youth and twisted it into a safety punch/cut/chunk. I remember losing a ball that day when a car hooted seriously loudly at the top of my swing..just one of them games. That season took me to the brink...9.4, when a lesson with the guy who used to coach me, and a week of golf up north with lots of practice, three comps - a couple of high finishes and a medal win at my away club got me back on track. A few lessons and a lot of practice leading into the following season, and cut from 8 to 5 in 6 weeks and the dark hours were overcome. Now the only serious doubts I have are all chipping related.

I think that one of my dark days was when I went on tour to Majorca. I had never played a course with water on, and that tour if there was water on ahole I'd put a ball in it. On one hole I had driven as far up the left of a fairway as possible with water all the way down the right. Second shot was a half shank / push at right angles, straight in the drink! It didn't help that a playing partner meanwhile was thinning skipping shots across the pond and onto dry land.

I've never really got over my dislike of water on golf holes!!

I can honestly say that I have never had a dark day on the golf course - unless you count roamin' in the gloamin' up the 18th with the clubhouse lights twinkling in the distance and not really having a scooby where your ball is.

Whichever way you cut it, a bad day on the golf course is still better than work and unless you have to feed the kids from golf, then it is just a game!

Go out there, have a good time, giggle a lot, enjoy the countryside have a chat with your mates and a beer in the clubhouse over the the post mortem. What's not to like!

Slow play......yes that can get up my nose a bit, but the course I play is so full that slow play is now inevitable, So relax and smell the coffee.

OS has got it right. Can't believe the bollox some people are posting here.

Golf is a GAME - and hobby for us. Darkest Hour is just nonsense. We all have bad days (or weeks) - get over it.

Nothing would make me give up the game - Mac is being overdramatic I think

The nearest I can come to for a "darkest hour" was a couple of years ago when I had a nasty foot injury which stopped me playing

oldshanker wrote:I can honestly say that I have never had a dark day on the golf course - unless you count roamin' in the gloamin' up the 18th with the clubhouse lights twinkling in the distance and not really having a scooby where your ball is.

Whichever way you cut it, a bad day on the golf course is still better than work and unless you have to feed the kids from golf, then it is just a game!

Go out there, have a good time, giggle a lot, enjoy the countryside have a chat with your mates and a beer in the clubhouse over the the post mortem. What's not to like!

Slow play......yes that can get up my nose a bit, but the course I play is so full that slow play is now inevitable, So relax and smell the coffee.

Blimey Oldie! how the devil are ya? You seem to have cheered up!

My darkest hour was when I saw a middle aged man of around 15 stone wearing a white belt complete with McDowellesque cardigan.

I dunno Davie. I know one guy who has pretty much given up the game after becoming so obsessed with trying to get down to single figures that when he succeeded he has virtually called it a day - very sad. His explanation was that he realised how much of a negative effect his obsession was having with the more important parts of his life, to rectify he's all but cut golf out which is a great shame.

Generally though, I think sometimes people get some of the frustrations if life out when having a bad day on the course - I know I've been guilty at times.

Yes, there is an element of the dramatic offered up by mac, but that is a true reflection of the swings between depression and delight so many of us experience on the course. Don't tell us you're immune

JPX wrote:

oldshanker wrote:I can honestly say that I have never had a dark day on the golf course - unless you count roamin' in the gloamin' up the 18th with the clubhouse lights twinkling in the distance and not really having a scooby where your ball is.

Whichever way you cut it, a bad day on the golf course is still better than work and unless you have to feed the kids from golf, then it is just a game!

Go out there, have a good time, giggle a lot, enjoy the countryside have a chat with your mates and a beer in the clubhouse over the the post mortem. What's not to like!

Slow play......yes that can get up my nose a bit, but the course I play is so full that slow play is now inevitable, So relax and smell the coffee.

Blimey Oldie! how the devil are ya? You seem to have cheered up!

My darkest hour was when I saw a middle aged man of around 15 stone wearing a white belt complete with McDowellesque cardigan.

Yep - they say the mirror never lies JPX

Oh oldtimer, just when I thought we were friends.

Davie wrote:OS has got it right. Can't believe the bollox some people are posting here.

Golf is a GAME - and hobby for us. Darkest Hour is just nonsense. We all have bad days (or weeks) - get over it.

Nothing would make me give up the game - Mac is being overdramatic I think

The nearest I can come to for a "darkest hour" was a couple of years ago when I had a nasty foot injury which stopped me playing

I think it depends how serious you take the game, some guys are serious golfers with a certain amount of talent, who give their all to get as good as they can be, it's no wonder they can get a bit frustrated from time to time. Spending hours on the range and putting green, feeling they have got it right, then shooting 80, can be a bit of a downer.

I can also understand that some don't ever get upset if you just play as something to do, a bit of fun, or for social reasons, I mean there must be something other than playing golf that keeps you happy on course, as struggling to break 90 or 100 every week must be, well................boring as hell.

Well that's the beauty of golf isn't it. You can spend as many hours as you want, practising and get as low as you want to, to the exclusion of everything else and become a crashing, fixated bore who can only see as far as the next striped long iron into a stiff 3 club wind.....alternatively you can realise that there are a great many more things to life than being able to hit a high, consistent draw at will and go out there and enjoy yourself and make sure your playing partners enjoy themselves as well. Who cares if you shoot 70 or 90! As I say, unless you are earning your living at it, then it's a very sociable game that is meant to be intricate and relaxing.

oldshanker wrote:Well that's the beauty of golf isn't it. You can spend as many hours as you want, practising and get as low as you want to, to the exclusion of everything else and become a crashing, fixated bore who can only see as far as the next striped long iron into a stiff 3 club wind.....alternatively you can realise that there are a great many more things to life than being able to hit a high, consistent draw at will and go out there and enjoy yourself and make sure your playing partners enjoy themselves as well. Who cares if you shoot 70 or 90! As I say, unless you are earning your living at it, then it's a very sociable game that is meant to be intricate and relaxing.

But then what about those that are yet to find out if they can earn a living at it? There are plenty of players in that category around. They surely can't play for fun trying to ge there can they? and bad rounds / shots will lead to frustration...........and many a dark hour.

JPX wrote:

oldshanker wrote:Well that's the beauty of golf isn't it. You can spend as many hours as you want, practising and get as low as you want to, to the exclusion of everything else and become a crashing, fixated bore who can only see as far as the next striped long iron into a stiff 3 club wind.....alternatively you can realise that there are a great many more things to life than being able to hit a high, consistent draw at will and go out there and enjoy yourself and make sure your playing partners enjoy themselves as well. Who cares if you shoot 70 or 90! As I say, unless you are earning your living at it, then it's a very sociable game that is meant to be intricate and relaxing.

But then what about those that are yet to find out if they can earn a living at it? There are plenty of players in that category around. They surely can't play for fun trying to ge there can they? and bad rounds / shots will lead to frustration...........and many a dark hour.

If they are trying to earn a living then good luck to them and the training that has to be undertaken to be successful, needs a committment no less than any other profession.

But I don't earn my money playing golf (although there was a time and my father had a period when he did), therefore I intend to enjoy it for what it represents to me, which is, a game that I really enjoy in the company of people I enjoy.

No arguement from me there oldie.

I was just making the point that not everyone views golf as just a game or hobby as Davies put it. Not just promising players who want to earn a living playing, everyone has goals; winning a comp, making the team, being the best on the team etc etc

As Alan Partridge said,
"You're right...but so am I".

I guess we are all entitled to enjoy golf as a challenge or social activity to whatever degree. As a competitive individual I personally tend toward the former - golf is a terrific sport for measuring improvement or otherwise. That's not to say I don't engage with the social side, indeed since joining my club 4 years ago the email syndicate I set up has grown from 4 to 37 fellow golfers. I really enjoy getting a good variety of playing partners rather than being in a little clique.

Yep indeed. Former for me also, it's the competitive side that I enjoyed the most...........until I realised I couldn't get to the level I desired.

Playing golf for fun?.....well it was no fun for me. Boring as hell in fact.

Golf for me has always been just for fun, and exercise and going to beautiful places I otherwise would probably never have seen.
Hated playing for a lot of money, couldn't stand the way it changed peoples' behaviours, loved playing for a beer or just with great company.
Now it's very low key; game is crap but the fun, the exercise, the beauty of the course, the "companionship" is just what the doctor ordered - actually miles better than what most doctors order.

JPX wrote:

Davie wrote:OS has got it right. Can't believe the bollox some people are posting here.

Golf is a GAME - and hobby for us. Darkest Hour is just nonsense. We all have bad days (or weeks) - get over it.

Nothing would make me give up the game - Mac is being overdramatic I think

The nearest I can come to for a "darkest hour" was a couple of years ago when I had a nasty foot injury which stopped me playing

I think it depends how serious you take the game, some guys are serious golfers with a certain amount of talent, who give their all to get as good as they can be, it's no wonder they can get a bit frustrated from time to time. Spending hours on the range and putting green, feeling they have got it right, then shooting 80, can be a bit of a downer.

I can also understand that some don't ever get upset if you just play as something to do, a bit of fun, or for social reasons, I mean there must be something other than playing golf that keeps you happy on course, as struggling to break 90 or 100 every week must be, well................boring as hell.

JPX - don't confuse being good with being serious. I'm well aware I'm not a good golfer, but I DO take it seriously. And trying to beat 90 every week certainly isn't boring

Wanting to improve isn't the perogative of good golfers only you know. I just don't subscribe to the heartache and drama of the original post when I have a bad day

Just a matter of degrees Davie, everyone's different. Mac is a bit if a melodrama queen by anyone's standards, but doesn't mean he's OOB with his suggestion that we all experience low points in our experience of the game.

I really hoped, even expected, to hear some real horror stories on this thread. At most clubs I have played regularly there have been the sort of players who are there every day trying to shave that 0.1 they need to get back to scratch.

Even worse than that are the ones who are 40 odd, never married and spending every minute on the course. I assumed some of the posters here must have been of this ilk and also that such a type must have suffered a really crushingly disappointing moment in the game.

I guess we are all pretty well adjusted golfers on this board.

I don't really have a moment that would fit the criteria of a "darkest hour", as like oldshanker and kwini I mostly play the game for fun.

I would say the one instance I feel shame over is when I threw a foursome match after deciding my partner was not good enough to be paired with me. On reflection a staggering display of arrogance and total disrespect for my partner.

The only other time I can think of that nearly fits the bill is not bothering to play for a few months after a horror round at st andrews one October. The kind of round where you just cant make par.

Davie

If you did not pick up the humour in the original post I suggest you reconsider your thoughts on the matter with that in mind. Of course golf is only a game and if anyone has some personal "darkest hours" I am sure they would be much more interesting to hear about.

I don't believe anybody plays purely for the fun of the game. If you're lucky enough to be able to have fun even when you couldn't hit a barn door at 50 yards then all well and good, but I've never played with anyone who didn't want to play well and get better at the game.
As I've got older and wiser I've learned to enjoy the game more when not playing well, and if nothing else I'm better company for it, but if I ever played and didn't care how well I'd played I'm sure I'd stop.

kwinigolfer wrote:Not sure if I've had a "darkest" hour but giving up the game as a low-teens handicapper for years when my children were infants, and returning to it with long club yips was heartbreaking. Still have them! And handicap has doubled.
Still dark, no light at the end of this tunnel.

You can't get rid of your children just because your golf is taking a kicking. I agree

Come on tarks, remind us of your darkest trouser stained hour. Copy and paste'll do.

McLaren wrote:I really hoped, even expected, to hear some real horror stories on this thread. At most clubs I have played regularly there have been the sort of players who are there every day trying to shave that 0.1 they need to get back to scratch.

Even worse than that are the ones who are 40 odd, never married and spending every minute on the course. I assumed some of the posters here must have been of this ilk and also that such a type must have suffered a really crushingly disappointing moment in the game.

I guess we are all pretty well adjusted golfers on this board.

I don't really have a moment that would fit the criteria of a "darkest hour", as like oldshanker and kwini I mostly play the game for fun.

I would say the one instance I feel shame over is when I threw a foursome match after deciding my partner was not good enough to be paired with me. On reflection a staggering display of arrogance and total disrespect for my partner.

The only other time I can think of that nearly fits the bill is not bothering to play for a few months after a horror round at st andrews one October. The kind of round where you just cant make par.

Davie

If you did not pick up the humour in the original post I suggest you reconsider your thoughts on the matter with that in mind. Of course golf is only a game and if anyone has some personal "darkest hours" I am sure they would be much more interesting to hear about.

That'll be me then Mac...well not quite but I know what you mean. Having said that I'm no longer 40 odd...but yeah between golf practice and gym my weekday evenings are pretty full. Weekends usually consist of at least 2 rounds. Yes I'd like to get to Cat 1 and yes there's been some frustration that it hasn't happened yet but on the other hand I'd rather subscribe to the Davie/Super/Oldshanker attitude of "golf is there to be enjoyed" convincing myself that it's more important to remember why we took up the game in the first place than get all frothy over another 0.1 increase. I'm not the finished article in terms of "enjoyment golf" but I'm a lot better than I was. The "Darkest Hour" came a couple of years ago (sure I've relayed the story before)... on hitting my 3rd bunker in 3 holes (misreading/misallowing for the wind) I was at boiling point, I then chunked out of the bunker into a pond...kaboom...slammed the wedge into ground, the handle end going one way, the clubhead the other...very embarrassing...but it was the catalyst for making mindset changes.

Well here goes...
After a spate of the unmentionables, I finally cracked and attacked my golfbag with an 8 iron. When putting my gear away after shooting over 100 (off 10 hcap) found my iphone in my bag pocket, in tiny pieces. Still get really cross playing golf, and after reading some of the earlier posts, I really must try harder to ENJOY it. Easier said than done I suppose.

Snapped three clubs in one round last year.

Best thing ever though, reshafted the lot with a less stiff shaft and they are much better now.

Golf is called a game but, let's face it, the vast majority of golfers treat it like a sport. Surely then enjoyment can only come from achievement and by that, I don't just mean the end score but just how well and how often the ball has been struck to one's complete satisfaction? Yes, there is a certain amount of enjoyment and indeed satisfaction derived from 'scrambling' one's way around a golf course and posting a good score but for me, I measure my enjoyment of the game in being able to 'flush' even just one or two shots during a round. Those are the ones I'm going to think about and reflect on when I come off the course.

Good shout Gael, I had one like that on Saturday, big club match V Carnoustie, hit a dreadful drive leaving me 220 into a tight pin, flushed an arrow straight 3 iron in and won the hole, almost made having the bad drive worthwhile just for that shot alone.

Nice one s_r. It doesn't get a lot better than that. Just out of interest, which hole/course were you playing.

Old Course. 7th Hole. Just about topped it and it went about 120 off the tee.