Lions limericks

by AsLongAsBut100ofUs Wed 19 Jun 2013, 7:52 am

First topic message reminder :

As we wait anxiously for Thursday's announcement of the test 23, how about some Lions limericks to pass the time:

There once was a Lion called Halfpenny,
Whose kicks, he did not miss many,
His defense was robust,
He attacks if he must,
Under the high ball, he'll contest any.

Do your worst!

by RubyGuby Wed 03 Jul 2013, 1:43 pm

There was a top coach called Gats
Who saw 606 posters as twxts
But he ran with the Red
Put the aussies to Bed
And now we're all pixxed as Rats

by SecretFly Wed 03 Jul 2013, 1:53 pm

There was a guy in a hole called Gats
He ate, drank and slept with the rats,
He created a God,
Then coldly made him look a spent sod,
So much for the honour and dignity of Gats

by AsLongAsBut100ofUs Wed 03 Jul 2013, 3:43 pm

Coach Gatland has ruined the tour,
His tactics are unbelievably poor,
All he wants is bosh,
But that's total tosh,
It's clear he's no cute hoor.

by Glas a du Wed 03 Jul 2013, 4:15 pm

There once was a coach of such stature
Mere mortals his thoughts could not capture
As will become plain
It's all been Gats' game
In victory, he'll ride a white charger.

Very Happy

by R!skysports Fri 05 Jul 2013, 2:45 pm

There once was a team picked on form
Legends to die or be born
With much good grace
He lied to our face
Now after this match, back to porn

by Submachine Fri 05 Jul 2013, 10:08 pm

There once was a centre called Brian
Whose team mates and coaches relied on
Now he'll watch from the stands
While he sits on his hands
BUT HE'LL ROAR HIS SUPPORT FOR THE LIONS

by Glas a du Fri 05 Jul 2013, 10:24 pm

I'm out, can't top that.

by SecretFly Fri 05 Jul 2013, 10:33 pm

There once was a posh lad called Brian
Who spoke like a drunk toad crying.
But he still could play ball,
And was looking forward to his final curtain call
But he was beheaded in the tunnel, now his fans is sighin'

by IanBru Sat 06 Jul 2013, 1:35 am

The ballad of Leigh, full-back from Swansea:

"After our eight costly failures with Wales,
As Lions we'll write better tales.
But what's that you said?
We're still wearing red?
Well f**k that, I'm off to the sales."

by R!skysports Fri 12 Jul 2013, 9:31 am

There once was a set of fans
Who fought like they were 4th dans
The lions arrived
Together they strived
But in the end it all went down the pan

by Glas a du Fri 12 Jul 2013, 9:39 am

Yes, how dare they win a series Rolling Eyes

The doubters are back in their boxes
As Warren was proved right with his choices
When he tried compromise
The Lions were mired
So he gambled and shot haters' foxes.

by R!skysports Fri 12 Jul 2013, 10:07 am

A win was achieved with some plumb
2-1 was shouted with glee by some
But when it all comes to roost
The lions wanted a 3-0 boost
Most still feel his selection came out his bum

by Glas a du Fri 12 Jul 2013, 10:10 am

Riskysports wrote:A win was achieved with some plumb
2-1 was shouted with glee by some
But when it all comes to roost
The lions wanted a 3-0 boost
Most Scotts feel selection came out his bum

by R!skysports Fri 12 Jul 2013, 10:13 am

Glas a du wrote:
Riskysports wrote:A win was achieved with some plumb
2-1 was shouted with glee by some
But when it all comes to roost
The lions wanted a 3-0 boost
Most Scotts/ English/ Irish and neutrals feel selection came out his bum

by Submachine Fri 12 Jul 2013, 11:16 am

Which actors will play them I jest
In the movie made of Lions tests
Adam Jones..... Russel Crowe
Christian Bale.... Tommy Bowe
Ross Kemp makes a great Rory Best

by IanBru Fri 12 Jul 2013, 11:37 am

Sub, amazing. Sheer brilliance.

by SecretFly Fri 12 Jul 2013, 11:38 am

Christian Bale as Tommy Bowe?
The little Batman would need to grow.
I'd suggest a more serious fit
Would be Captain America (Chris Evans) in a Lions kit.
Fainting ladies aplenty guaranteed for that show.

by RubyGuby Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:05 pm

606 can be full of C-rap
And you need to be aware of the cunning FlyTrap
But post at Will and enjoy the Debate
As the more the merrier; a sort of Mass-Debate

by Submachine Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:22 pm

SecretFly wrote:Christian Bale as Tommy Bowe?
The little Batman would need to grow.
I'd suggest a more serious fit
Would be Captain America (Chris Evans) in a Lions kit.
Fainting ladies aplenty guaranteed for that show.

Matt Damon played Pienaar alas
Mickey Rourke as Gareth Thomas?
My casting is sound
Cameras add fifty pounds
But a stunt man must play Tommys ass

by SecretFly Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:22 pm

Two 'debates' is not a Limerick,
Even if it's Ruby taking the mick,
Rules and regulations must be maintained,
We will not tolerate our Limericks being profaned!
Now back to Bowe and a fainting chick.

by RubyGuby Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:24 pm

If I was going to take the Mick it would have been BOD

by Guest Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:28 pm

There once was a player called BOD
Who was perceived as a bit of a God
Back came "The Doc"
So there wasn't a shock
When the better player Davies got the nod

Run

by RubyGuby Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:31 pm

Risca Rev wrote:There once was a player called BOD
Who was perceived as a bit of a God
Back came "The Doc"
So there wasn't a shock
When the better player Davies got the nod

Simple but effective Just like Richard Hibbard

by SecretFly Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:47 pm

The Welsh certainly do like to Run

A whip and a barb and then run for the fun.
Now, if they'd only learn how to pass,
Phillips might have oozed some actual class.
Doc sure was thankful when Murray took over and shone. Whistle

by kiakahaaotearoa Fri 12 Jul 2013, 12:52 pm

For some the Lions series is not over
As the fat Dragon trampled the clover
Tears of joy were cried
Whilst others nearly died
And meanwhile Gatland bought a new Range Rover

by R!skysports Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:14 pm

The valleys were heard to sing loud and deep
For once not over a stray sheep
A win in the South
Makes them foam at the mouth
From us Scots now not another Peep

by SecretFly Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:16 pm

Riskysports wrote:The valleys were heard to sing loud and deep
For once not over a stray sheep
A win in the South
Makes them foam at the mouth
From us Scots now not another Peep

I was just about to do one for the Scots..

by R!skysports Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:19 pm

I lions tour brings the worst and the best
For we all argue each and every test
But win or lose
We like to drink booze
And friends we will remain with the rest

by kiakahaaotearoa Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:23 pm

Until the lead up to the next one risky. Which should be about two weeks away with a brief hiatus for the RWC!

by Guest Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:39 pm

I guess you must've missed
That Phillips also grabbed an assist
Different types of game
Gave Murray the fame
But Phillips is still top of the list

by SecretFly Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:52 pm

Phillips grabbed an assist
Then started to badly list.
Gats removed him before he sank,
And brought on a new cog for his Doc-Tank.
The rest proved Davies wouldn't have been missed

by RubyGuby Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:54 pm

Bodski
Godski
Dropski
Floppski
Winnski

Finnish Limerick Wink

by R!skysports Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:56 pm

What I saw of Phillips was ponderous
Running through a bog like a slow platupus
He can not pass
He is always there last
I still await his promise to be Wonderous

by SecretFly Fri 12 Jul 2013, 2:03 pm

Now, now, I do like ol' Phillips
Even though he showed little of his darting dips,
He didn't have his best tour,
But he always was confident he had the allure
To be first on Gats list for all trips

by Submachine Fri 12 Jul 2013, 2:32 pm

We fans have shown such volatilty
Posters treated with open hostility
This rhymings been fun
But this is my last one
Discord tends to stunt my ability

by RubyGuby Fri 12 Jul 2013, 3:01 pm

There was a young player called Lime
Who scored for the very first Time
All though he was Glad
His team were Mad
'cos he didn't change sides at Half-time

The Beano when I was about 8-9 years old

by R!skysports Fri 12 Jul 2013, 3:12 pm

ASBO once started a thread of Limericks
As he felt it would provide him with kicks
Short of laughter and fun
He so had to run
As his chiefs were kicked to the sticks

by Glas a du Fri 12 Jul 2013, 3:31 pm

There was an hysterical over reaction
Which was eclipsed by a burst of elation
But then after a bit
Things turned back to shoite
Honestly now what did you blydi expect from Lions fans stuck behind their keyboards jealous of those who could afford to make the trip?

by RubyGuby Fri 12 Jul 2013, 4:03 pm

There was a young fella who was black and blue
His posts were so crass he didn't know what to do
Then one day in Glynneath
He sharpened his Teeth
And now writes on the back of each Loo

by SecretFly Fri 12 Jul 2013, 4:28 pm

The problem, you all know it, is the Heat,
When we get a bit of it up here, we talk Sheet,
The players and coaches weren't to know,
That we were basking under the maddening firey Glow
Of something that hasn't showed up since Napoleon's Retreat.

by GloriousEmpire Thu 25 Jul 2013, 7:44 am

Though Ozzie injuries did them a favour
The lions proved themselves worthy invaders
In the tour's test rugby
They won two out of three
But they're not as good as the crusaders

by Cyril Thu 25 Jul 2013, 11:03 am

GloriousEmpire wrote:
Though Ozzie injuries did them a favour
The lions proved themselves worthy invaders
In the tour's test rugby
They won two out of three
But they're not as good as the crusaders

That doesn't quite scan right. You need to work on the meter and how the syllables fall. It's just reads quite awkwardly.

by kiakahaaotearoa Thu 25 Jul 2013, 11:30 am

Excuse my ignorance, but what are the rules concerning a Limerick when it comes to the meter?

by Cyril Thu 25 Jul 2013, 11:38 am

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:Excuse my ignorance, but what are the rules concerning a Limerick when it comes to the meter?

I'm not sure about 'rules' exactly, but you know when something just doesn't flow right and seems to stumble along rather than move fluidly (England's centre partnerships for a few years now, for example).

by Glas a du Thu 25 Jul 2013, 11:45 am

8 syllables A rhyme
8 syllables A rhyme
5 syllables B rhyme
5 syllables B rhyme
8 syllables A rhyme

Or if you want to be really clever:
8 syllables A rhyme
8 syllables A rhyme
5 syllables B rhyme
5 syllables B rhyme
4 syllables B rhyme, 4 syllables A rhyme

by kiakahaaotearoa Thu 25 Jul 2013, 11:47 am

Cheers Glas! Quietly confident none of my feeble efforts has that meter...

by **Galted** Thu 25 Jul 2013, 12:12 pm

There once was a limerick thread
About a fifteen that wore red
But something was wrong
It went on too long
When it should have been put to bed

by Guest Thu 25 Jul 2013, 12:19 pm

Galted wrote:There once was a limerick thread
About a fifteen that wore red
But something was wrong
It went on too long
When it should have been put to bed

The sentiment's right
Time to say goodnight
To this thread
As you said
And mind the bugs don't bite!

by R!skysports Thu 25 Jul 2013, 1:11 pm

optimist wrote:
Galted wrote:There once was a limerick thread
About a fifteen that wore red
But something was wrong
It went on too long
When it should have been put to bed

The sentiment's right
Time to say goodnight
To this thread
As you said
And mind the bugs don't bite!

2017 is just round the bend
A team that will buck the trend
Form will be chosen
No team left out frozen
I know already who to send

by GloriousEmpire Fri 26 Jul 2013, 6:27 pm

Cyril wrote:
GloriousEmpire wrote:
Though Ozzie injuries did them a favour
The lions proved themselves worthy invaders
In the tour's test rugby
They won two out of three
But they're not as good as the crusaders

That doesn't quite scan right. You need to work on the meter and how the syllables fall. It's just reads quite awkwardly.

You're just not reading it right! It matches the rules of limerickery

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