Lions limericks

First topic message reminder :

As we wait anxiously for Thursday's announcement of the test 23, how about some Lions limericks to pass the time:


There once was a Lion called Halfpenny,
Whose kicks, he did not miss many,
His defense was robust,
He attacks if he must,
Under the high ball, he'll contest any.


Do your worst!

Riskyspots wrote:2017 is just round the bend
A team that will buck the trend
Form will be chosen
No team left out frozen
I know already who to send

There was a young Scot name of Risky
Who was piqued and all in a tizzy
Gatland the knave
ignored all his faves
Revenge he does crave, fired by whiskey.

There once was a man called gatland
Everyone hated him
then he won a lions tour
and his haters looked like bellends

A poster who liked to start polls
Was considered by some as a troll
When it came to a rhyme
He was short of sublime
Is it time he learned self control?

The best way to put down a WUM
Is with wit and some decorum
Show you are above
Smother them with love
But if all else fails smack his bum

t1000advancedprototype wrote:There once was a man called Quade
All fans were amazed how he played
He was in with a shout
But Deans left him out
& oh how the poor Oz team paid!

It wasn't meant to rhyme. This shows that I am one of the few people here who can write a limerick the way it's meant to be written. With correct rhyming and the right amount of syllables.

hardly a troll I've not been on in weeks.

Touched a nerve there I think

A player now held in great awe,
Was one time considered too raw,
But after the test
All had to confess
He was the best they ever saw.

GloriousEmpire wrote:A player now held in great awe,
Was one time considered too raw,
But after the test
All had to confess
He was the best that they ever saw.

Owen Farrell???????

GloriousEmpire wrote:

Cyril wrote:

GloriousEmpire wrote:
Though Ozzie injuries did them a favour
The lions proved themselves worthy invaders
In the tour's test rugby
They won two out of three
But they're not as good as the crusaders

That doesn't quite scan right. You need to work on the meter and how the syllables fall. It's just reads quite awkwardly.

You're just not reading it right! It matches the rules of limerickery

I think it's just poorly written. Perhaps you were in AWOP mode at the time. It must be difficult to keep up.

Favour and invaders/crusaders isn't a proper rhyme either.

Still, chin up. If you're new to this kind of thing you'll get there with a bit more practice.

Perhaps you just have dodgy pronounciation.

What's AWOP mode?

Nah, you just aren't very good at writing them.

AWOP mode is a bad combinator.

Well art doesnt appeal to everyone. Thanks for your feedback though.

 Always happy to help

Have a look at some of the other ones above. There are some good ones. Good luck in improving your style.

I'm perfectly happy Cyril. You cant please all the people and frankly I'm happy not pleasing you. I'm proud of my efforts and I'll keep going. There's some great ones here but plenty of rubbish. I may not be the best but I'm sure not the worst and frankly I'm still contributing to the thread ina positive way and not just showing up to urine on people!

How about this one?

There once was a poster named Cyril,
Most said his opinions were piddle,
Not a smart enough guy?
Or he just didnt try?
I'll imply that he's prone to a tipple.

A 606 poster called Carey
Said: "I am leaving because I am wary
Of posting in front
Of Grey Ghost the c**t
And being shafted by GE the fairy."

A poster called Glorious Empire
Could post poor wums and never tire
Said he wouldn't post
Anymore here (he's Grey Ghost)
But again he's just a massive liar

GloriousEmpire wrote:How about this one?

There once was a poster named Cyril,
Most said his opinions were piddle,
Not a smart enough guy?
Or he just didnt try?
I'll imply that he's prone to a tipple.

Tipple doesn't really rhyme with piddle/Cyril properly.

B-rhymes are very important if you think about it Cyril.

Otherwise we'd only be able to express a limit range of thoughts in such poetic forms that require "rhyme". Since not all semantics have appropriate literal rhymes then logic and truth would be warped by the limited and associated available rhymes. People called Ruth or Briars would be either honest of liars, for instance.

Incorrect ghostie.

The non selection of Quade got mooted
The moment Deans got booted
The Lions series is done and dusted
The Wallabies truly busted.

Quade can have no fear
The Rugby Championship is near
Cause McKenzie will surely select him.

Interesting. I would have thought the destruction of the reds by the crusaders must've put a big dent in McKenzie's plans.

Perhaps, but I think McKenzie will give him this RC to prove himself.

Quade is in an interesting spot. With such widespread resentment amongst NZ fans. I've never seen anything motivate normally quiet kiwi fans to make a noise in unison - the treatment he got in NZ last weekend was something. And it appeared to put him off his game again. And the crowd noise seemed to lift the crusaders

I wonder what such a widely despised guy might do to win back some respect.

Well he is going to have to have a great performance in NZ, I doubt anything else will be sufficient

Not strictly Lions Lions, but

There once was a man from Llanelli
Who everyone knew, name of Lewi
Red cards he would flourish
To refs who were rubbish
He's had God's early bath, funeral Tuesday.

Possibly the worst attempt at a limerick ever composed.

Congratulations.

It is pretty bad.

It's about on a par with that last few you did, ghostie.

Ghostie? Moi?

What? You obviously don't get post ironic...

GloriousEmpire wrote:Ghostie? Moi?

Oui