Not one of his better ideas....

Extract from The Courier:

"A 22 year-old Paddock Wood man has been fined for smashing a terracotta plant pot over his own head in a pub - while trying to see how hard it was.

Ryan Coster of Kent Close pleaded guilty at Sevenoaks Magistrates' Court to causing criminal damage to the £15 make-shift ashtray and had to shell out £190 for the moment of madness.

....Chairman of the bench Trevor Perkins said: "Bit silly this, wasn't it? And it must have given you a headache too"."

Anyone else done anything that seemed like a good idea at the time?

Where to start  

Was winding my niece up one day when she told me she could hit me at times to which I replied "go on then, right on the nose." Took a good half an hour for it to stop bleeding!

A few years ago me and a few friends were messing about with one of them punch machines in a pub. One friend barely registered a score to which I retorted " I'll get a better score than that with my head." Never had a lump like it!

Climbed some scaffolded flats drunk and got vertigo, suddenly sobered up and cried a little!

A local well known rugby player was knocking folk out for fun in a nightclub. I thought I'd be the tough guy and bang him out. Gave him my best shot (and I'm a well built bloke) but he slightly flinched before knocking me into next week. Got a scar above my right eyebrow as a reminder!

Sat with my ex missus and a few of her mates one night when the conversation turned into talking about r*** alarms. One of her mates said she didn't need one because a squirt of her perfume into the attackers eyes would see him off. I disagreed and to prove my point I squirted her finest scent into my very own eyes. My god the pain!

They are just a few.

Tried to push my car uphill alone at 18 got to the top and patted myself on the. Back and had to chase it downhill jump through the window and brake with my forearm. Then spent the next 5 minutes trying to depretzelise myself as a queue formed up mfrom both sides and a pir of mad old crones cackling shrilly from their mobility scooters

ShahenshahG wrote:Tried to push my car uphill alone at 18 got to the top and patted myself on the. Back and had to chase it downhill jump through the window and brake with my forearm.  Then spent the next 5 minutes trying to depretzelise myself as a queue formed up mfrom both sides and a pir of mad old crones cackling shrilly from their mobility scooters

 Legend!

FreekShow wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Tried to push my car uphill alone at 18 got to the top and patted myself on the. Back and had to chase it downhill jump through the window and brake with my forearm.  Then spent the next 5 minutes trying to depretzelise myself as a queue formed up mfrom both sides and a pir of mad old crones cackling shrilly from their mobility scooters

 Legend!

I think the worst part was being unable to open the driver side door because my feet were sticking out the window half hooked on the edge so I kinda rolled over and my feet got stuck out the passenger window. Stopped and laughed atmyself forages

It's weird cos I used to do the most ridiculous and stupid things yet I am now (I am told) too sensible and boring!

I think I maxed out my lifetimes outrageousness early on!

This should be an interesting thread.

A year ago, I went to a friends 18th birthday with a few mates. We proceeded to get Drunk out of our minds... Being the gentlemen we are, we offered to walk some girls home, as it was past midnight... We decided it was best to Take a few "complimentary" bottles before we left.... Not even ten minutes later, we get stopped by the police, with enough bottles of whiskey and brandy to ignite an orgy at an AA meeting... In our desperation to avoid being sent to the police station public disorder, or Public consumption of alcohol, me and my mate took one of the police officers by the side and offered him one of the girls we were escorting home... Not really "bad" idea, but one Im pretty ashamed of... however funny it was in retrospect

When I was a teenager working in the stockroom for a electrical appliance store.

Wanted to get a day off work so had this wonderful idea of faking an injury.

went into work with my head tilted to my right side. Complained to everyone that saw me that I had a crooked neck and could not turn my head from side to side ''terrible pain'' I said.

Anyway about lunchtime I went to see my manager with neck tilted to 1 side and in apparent pain. I said to my manager ''Sorry boss i'm in so much pain, might be best if I go home''

He said NO...we need everyone today so go back to work but take it easy.

I was pi**ed off I thought this would work. So for the rest of the day I worked with my head to one side to keep up the apparent injury.

When I got home I noticed that my neck was REALLY hurting because I had been working with my head tilted to one side all day. My neck actually hurt and it was very painful. My mum rubbed tigar balm on my neck and I went to bed.


I regret nothing.

In days gone by my cousin and I were very close and he'd rail on at me for smoking, eating junk foods but especially the waccy baccy. After seeing that anti-smoking ad - You smoke I smoke he insisted that if I got high he would - hoping that it'd put me off. I made it triple strength and shared it with him. Long story short - both of us were absolutely mashed but he was in absolute denial - he kinda sneered at me - theres nothing it does nothing to me. About 5 minutes later i asked him for a glass of juice and he went to the kitchent - came back 20 minutes later with a bowl full of juice and a pair of sunglasses which he deposited in my lap. I was stunned into silence for about a minute before he turns to me and asks me why i wanted the sunglasses. he seemed to finally settle down and knock off so i snuck out for another one only to be followed out and forced to give him some weed at bbgunpoint.

I never smoked it again after I sobered up that day (when he was nearby)

ShahenshahG wrote:In days gone by my cousin and I were very close and he'd rail on at me for smoking, eating junk foods but especially the waccy baccy. After seeing that anti-smoking ad - You smoke I smoke he insisted that if I got high he would - hoping that it'd put me off. I made it triple strength and shared it with him. Long story short - both of us were absolutely mashed but he was in absolute denial - he kinda sneered at me - theres nothing it does nothing to me. About 5 minutes later i asked him for a glass of juice and he went to the kitchent - came back 20 minutes later with a bowl full of juice and a pair of sunglasses which he deposited in my lap. I was stunned into silence for about a minute before he turns to me and asks me why i wanted the sunglasses. he seemed to finally settle down and knock off so i snuck out for another one only to be followed out and forced to give him some weed at bbgunpoint.

I never smoked it again after I sobered up that day (when he was nearby)

Haha that's funny



listen erm....how much for an ounce?

Ive no idea to be honest - its been so long since i had any and used to split the bag with the neighbour - now that i'm working full time i dont bother with it.