Another Drive4show 'Anything goes' thread

[dynamark]

First topic message reminder :

Hi folks not been around much lately due to new job and no access at work.
Digs I would avoid franchises and any long term property commitments connected to the business.
I very nearly bought into a coffee shop /café a few years ago and in the end it was the hours and time involved which put me off but the lad who bought it is flying .He will be open this morning and doing good business.Anything like that is all about position of course.One of the best businesses I have seen is a café bar in Bristol on the hill up to the Clifton area .opens at seven in the morning and closes at two in the morning.Change of menu and prices late afternoon and lighting /music for the evening trade.
Seen a few things in my new job with a large housing association providing social housing for the unwashed,unemployed,unfit,mentally ill,etc.One surprise is that they have properties and areas where only set religious groups are allowed to live.They call it 'creating communities'?
Hope all are well.

[Davie]

What did James say?

[super_realist]

Probably just said "Top O' The Morning" and Inco exploded and fired off a ream of emails, phone calls and letters.

[incontinentia]

Bluff Yorkshireman James was responding to commentator Andrew Cotter’s view that the province could retire as a sporting nation if Open contender Darren Clarke followed his compatriots Graeme McDowell and Rory McIlroy in winning a major.
James’s retort - ‘Perhaps they’ll even stop fighting each other’ - was met with silence. Within 15 minutes, presenter Hazel Irvine said in a voiceover: ‘We’d like to apologise for any offence caused by a remark in commentary at the end of Darren’s round.’

    Hazel

[super_realist]

What's wrong with that Inco? They do fight each other, and we do see the childish behaviour every year from both sides. One day they'll have to grow up and stop fighting one another.
Hardly in the same Hurling park as calling Baldy Nine Chins an N... is it?
They only had to "apologise" because so many people go looking for it these days and they could hear your phone, bureau and keyboard getting hammered.

[kwinigolfer]

Daft thing to say though. Mark James wouldn't like it much if someone had a go at his runner beans.
Pity no Irishman had the nuts to say what James said.

[incontinentia]

What's wrong with calling 9 chins a Nagger? If he gets offended that's his problem right?

[kwinigolfer]

Let's not go there . . . . . . .

[incontinentia]

No, let's. I'd love to hear super's reasoning.

[Davie]

If James said that then he is stupid. But only because it will never happen. To apologize for it on air is PC gone mad

[beninho]

It's not pc gone mad though is it? It's a publicly funded body cconcerned about some of his customers being offended. And as proven some where. Any company would apologise in a similar circumstance. PC gone mad is such a strange phrase I didn't realise people still used it.

[kwinigolfer]

Trouble is: The "Troubles" are also "publicly funded".

[incontinentia]

Let's not go there....

[super_realist]

What's wrong with calling 9 chins a Nagger? If he gets offended that's his problem right?

I've already stated previously and consistently that racism is unacceptable, to put 'Tatty Muncher' or 'Luck of the Irish'  and pretend that it persecutes you in the same envelope would be insane.
Bit like putting murder and evading a TV licence under the same life sentence. They aren't even remotely comparable.

The famine didn't affect you or anyone within about 20 generations of you. More than enough time has passed to make it a subject worthy for light ribbing.

As Vic Reeves might say:  "You wouldn't let it lie"

[incontinentia]

Let's just try not to hurt each other's feelings.

[McLaren]

I really don't get why James can't say that maybe they could stop fighting? It is still happening and it is still tiresome. Given the BBC is meant to be balanced I would say that suggesting people don't terrorise each other is the only balanced response.

As for lawrence donegan, the man is an idiot. If his tweets are to be believed he seems to be of a sectarian mind set. As is clear from his attempt to inflame a perfectly reasonable comment from Peter alliss.

[beninho]

Flight of the conchords --pure quality!

[super_realist]

I really don't get why James can't say that maybe they could stop fighting?  It is still happening and it is still tiresome. Given the BBC is meant to be balanced I would say that suggesting people don't terrorise each other is the only balanced response.

As for lawrence donegan, the man is an idiot.  If his tweets are to be believed he seems to be of a sectarian mind set.  As is clear from his attempt to inflame a perfectly reasonable comment from Peter alliss.

Not often we are in agreement Mac, but that sums it up perfectly.

 

[mystiroakey]

Is this all about the luck of the irish comment after paddy hit a good shot?

[super_realist]

Is this all about the luck of the irish comment after paddy hit a good shot?

Yup,

Disgusted of Tipperary is taking it to the European Courts of Justice.

[mystiroakey]

"Disgusted of Tipperary is taking it to the European Courts of Justice"

 

[super_realist]

Johnnie Walker is on early this year.

[super_realist]

How do you deal with cheats messing up CSS?

Some very suspicious scores coming in every week from the same people in Wednesday sweeps at my club. THen come the weekend in a drawn event and they are shooting in the hundreds.
Cheating C**ts

[mystiroakey]

Didn't get cut SR- or did you go up .1!!

[super_realist]

I didn't play Oakey, but believe me, these guys don't have a 74 in them.

I'm aware people cheat here and there, but the scores these guys regularly are putting in are unbelievable for their standard/ability.
10-12 handicappers ( should be 14-16, but because of all their amazing scores are 10-12), regularly putting in 74-75 but only in midweek competitions where they can choose their partners, but stink the place out at weekends with scores frequently over 100

If you are going to cheat, don't make it so blatant.

[MontysMerkin]

How do you deal with cheats messing up CSS?

Some very suspicious scores coming in every week from the same people in Wednesday sweeps at my club. THen come the weekend in a drawn event and they are shooting in the hundreds.
Cheating C**ts

We've got a few of them at our place - I've played with a few of them.
It would seem that an extra 10 yards off the tee and a medal card in the hand can do strange things to some people...

[super_realist]

....and a magic pencil Monty.

I've actually seen them at it. Marking pars when they were making doubles. Easily some of the worst golfers at the club, but oddly coming in with scores a Cat 1 Golfer would accept.

THere is the element they are cheating themselves that I don't care about, it's more the effect they have on CSS that bothers me.

[mystiroakey]

I didn't play Oakey, but believe me, these guys don't have a 74 in them.

I'm aware people cheat here and there, but the scores these guys regularly are putting in are unbelievable for their standard/ability.
10-12 handicappers  ( should be 14-16, but because of all their amazing scores are 10-12), regularly putting in 74-75 but only in midweek competitions where they can choose their partners, but stink the place out at weekends with scores frequently over 100

If you are going to cheat, don't make it so blatant.

I don't understand the mentality mate. And we all know who they are as well. Its never the ones that have played at junior level that may or may not have cheated at a young age and either way its out of there system..

All players can play bad whatever the handicap. But you can just tell if they are good or not by their range of shots or the way they carry themselves around a golf course.

I have played against lowish handicappers(12-6) at my ex club that started late(not saying everyone that starts late is like this)- And you can just tell they do not have a scooby about the game yet clearly have magic pencils in the comps..

[super_realist]

These guys are not long out of junior age, perhaps 19-20 and up until a few years ago were well into the 20's in their handicap. One was actually on a junior handicap of 46 for a while.

Now he's sub 10 after yesterday (8 I think) , but still a honking golfer with no technique, course management or anything to suggest he could shoot 84, let alone 74.

Hopefully the Handicap secretary will notice as it ruins competition for everyone.

[mystiroakey]

"These guys are not long out of junior age, perhaps 19-20 and up until a few years ago were well into the 20's in their handicap"


well then Kids are clearly just growing up later these days dude!!

[super_realist]

DOn't think they were ever in a rigid "junior setup" if you know what I mean, just a couple of rough kids who took up golf as a way to smoke cigs, etc.

[Bob_the_Job]

Happened once at my club with two guys.. so one of the committee went out in the 4ball behind the one they suspected, he kept a tally of their scores and then when they submitted their cards, called them in for a quiet word. Never saw them again after that.

[McLaren]

surely they only harm themselves if they end up with handicaps 15-20 shots lower than it should be?

[super_realist]

Not just themselves Mac, it lowers CSS for those who play honestly. So they don't get the cut they deserve because cheats are putting in scores better than they actually scored.

[mystiroakey]

Thats the problem SR. I hated it , especially at junior level. It just beyond a joke tbh. Kids coming in with 50 pts and stuff. either that have cheated or just grown up and something clicked (there is a point where you just go crazy at junior level and you go up a level within what seems like weeks and that original handicap means nothing.)

[SmithersJones]

We had something along these lines earlier this year. Father & son off '6' and '2', cleaning up in the midweek medals but not entering anything where they couldn't play together as a two-ball. The lad never recorded a double bogey in competition, but when our vice captain played 9 holes with him he had 4. Again, a word with the committee got shot of them but not before a rule had to be put in place to disallow two-balls and any cross marking.

[McLaren]

Super

Would two normal scores from cat 2 golfers really make any difference to css? You seem to suggest they are only entering scores of mid to late 70's from 10 handicaps or so.

[super_realist]

Mac, it isn't the Category they are in, it's the "Division" in which they fall.

CSS is calculated on the % of golfers who beat their handicap. THese guys, blatantly cheating, as well as giving themselves a false handicap, are also whether they know it or not, affecting the competition results for other people, especially in a midweek competition, which may only see 60 or so people taking part.

AS for the two in question, twice in the last month, they have handed in Net 65s and 68's,. In a small field, that will certainly keep CSS low as CSS is a function of the literal difficulty of the course/conditions on that day as manifested in the scores.

Either way, I've since heard they were spotted cheating, both marking pars when they were seen hacking it down the second, and hopefully this will nip it in the bud. Cheating c**ts.

[McLaren]

fair enough super, I thought they maybe had the sense to submit realistic scores based on the conditions of the day.

Apart from the effect on css what else seems to be bothering you about their behavior.

[super_realist]

That's the thing Mac, they are obviously very stupid to put in such absurdly good scores. If you must cheat, don't make it so blatant.

Obviously everyone is capable of shooting those scores on rare occasions, but both getting to the turn in 1 under stinks a bit.

I don't really care about their artificial handicaps as everyone knows they aren't genuine, just that they spoil the competition for real players.

Just goes to show that golf isn't the bastion of virtue and fair play as people like to think.

[MontysMerkin]

Wish I was a real player  

[McLaren]

An irishman is having an interview for a job as a blacksmith and is asked if he has any experience of shoeing horses.

He responds "No, but i have told a goat to f* ck of before"

[incontinentia]

An irishman is having an interview for a job as a blacksmith and is asked if he has any experience of shoeing horses.

He responds "No, but i have told a goat to f* ck of before"

 

[Bob_the_Job]

..Just goes to show that golf isn't the bastion of virtue and fair play as people like to think.

There are always going to be cheats, but in my estimation, there are fewer in golf, and they are not likely to get any support, even in team competitions. I can't imagine any of my team mates confiding in the rest of the team that they had cheated to win their match without being told in no uncertain terms to own up. Compare and contrast with football and many other sports where cheating is seen as something akin to advanced gamesmanship.

[beninho]

The gamesmanship comes to the fore in professional sport, and it happens in golf, we have all seen players trying to get a rules official to allow a free drop here, or to move from a certain area. Professional sports are mostly the same.

[Bob_the_Job]

The gamesmanship comes to the fore in professional sport, and it happens in golf, we have all seen players trying to get a rules official to allow a free drop here, or to move from a certain area. Professional sports are mostly the same.

As I said, it's not that it doesn't happen in golf, just that it's much less prevalent. How many times in golf have you seen a player trying to con a rules official? How many times in one game of football do you see players try to con the ref?

Also, the rules in golf are sometimes open to interpretation, so I've no issue with a player trying to ensure the intrepretation is as favourable as possible - that's not gamemanship IMO - that's just standing up for yourself. The don't downright lie and simulate a foul.

[mystiroakey]

Correct Bob. the games are not comparable.

[super_realist]

An irishman is having an interview for a job as a blacksmith and is asked if he has any experience of shoeing horses.

He responds "No, but i have told a goat to f* ck of before"

 

Very good Mac, Did you hear about the light aircraft that crashed into an Irish cemetery?

They have found 1256 bodies so far.

[incontinentia]

How was the Grand Canyon formed?

A Scotsman lost a tenner down a rabbit hole
-----------------------------------------------------

A Scotsman won a toilet brush as the booby prize in a raffle. He had never won anything before, though, so he was delighted. A few weeks later a friend asked if he was getting much use from the toilet brush. "Well," came the reply, "I don't think much of it. I think I'll go back to using toilet paper."
------------------------------------------------------

Why are Scotsmen so good at golf? They realise that the fewer times they hit the ball the longer it will last.
----------------------------------------------------

"Why, McTavish," said the psychiatrist, "you seem to have lost your stutter." "Yes," said McTavish, "I've been telephoning America a lot recently."

[super_realist]

Not bad at all Inco. Grand Canyon one is good.

[mystiroakey]

The golf one would be funnier if it was true dude. Scotland suck at golf. 

[Sponsored content]