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First topic message reminder :

Announcements

Event: The great 606v2 meet up extravaganza
Date: Saturday 26 October 2013
Location: London
Venue: TBC, likely a sports bar
Time: 1900 onwards
Attending: Azzy + Viva + Sodhat + Marky + Nando (maybe), Olly, cherries others TBC

Season 1 Starts this week
Tactics due by 11.59pm on Friday 16th August

Tactics are sent to Olly

Votes are sent to sodhat. Votes must be in by 11:59pm on Monday of the appropriate gameweek.

The Enrique & J from 5ive League

FC WHU Do You Think You Are - Gregers
Bilbao - Afro
Would you dance, if Ajax you to dance? - Sodhat
Southampton FC - Marky
PSV - GSC
Sport Club Corinthians Paulista - Nando                                                                              
                                                                                                                                                                               Top Scorers
Lille - Trebs



Glad t'be bach - Hero



FC Basel - cherriesfna



FC ZwagAtletico - Zinedine_Ze_Zebra



The Nodge - Olly



Fool 'em FC - Azzy

Take one.

Then he'll realise you've already had one, and you can say, "oi, I already have one, you prat."

Although in fairness I just cross the road when I see the charity people in red coats. Much easier than listening to them or ignoring them.

I hate charity muggers/chuggers.

I'm walking through town with my wife and kids, and it's "Save the children, as a parent you'll know what it entails".

Frak off with your guilt trip, Kumquat. If I'm honest, my kids are already safe because I take care of them. If I give to you, I'll have less for them.

Don't get me wrong, I donate every now and then, and I'll even be pestering you guys sometime next year as I'm doing the London Triathlon 2014 (Supersprint version) and raising money for a local Children's Hospice, but I wont be trying to make you feel bad to force you into it!

The only charities I really feel compelled to give to are animal based.

I remember one that was talking about donkeys needing water because of all the hard work they do. It's depressing to think of all the sad donkeys in the world.

Viva, just stare at him. Don't talk. Just stare. Hard. Really stare. No blinking. Just stare, maybe walk a bit too close to him so he backs off. You'll only need to do this once.

I'll try that tomorrow.

I hate charity workers, they are evil little uni students bar stewards. They think they're so it with the geek glasses an hi top trainers and bright coloured tight jeans from topman.

My tip is to wear big headphones or pretend to be on your phone

Azzy Mahmood wrote:Viva, just stare at him. Don't talk. Just stare. Hard. Really stare. No blinking. Just stare, maybe walk a bit too close to him so he backs off. You'll only need to do this once.

 only you can come up with that idea.

sodhat wrote:The only charities I really feel compelled to give to are animal based.

I remember one that was talking about donkeys needing water because of all the hard work they do. It's depressing to think of all the sad donkeys in the world.

Are you actually being serious? I'd rather give the money to kids hospital or something than to an animal shelter. You hippy.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:

sodhat wrote:The only charities I really feel compelled to give to are animal based.

I remember one that was talking about donkeys needing water because of all the hard work they do. It's depressing to think of all the sad donkeys in the world.

Are you actually being serious?  I'd rather give the money to kids hospital or something than to an animal shelter.  You hippy.

Totally serious, although I wouldn't expect you to give to animal charities with your chequered past of plotting to beat up horses.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:

sodhat wrote:The only charities I really feel compelled to give to are animal based.

I remember one that was talking about donkeys needing water because of all the hard work they do. It's depressing to think of all the sad donkeys in the world.

Are you actually being serious?  I'd rather give the money to kids hospital or something than to an animal shelter.  You hippy.

Agree with Viva.

Sorry about the starving children you're raising money for, but I just gave my last fiver to that guy raising money to give Donkeys a drink.

How could you deny a thirsty donkey?

Look at its face!

I should be a vegetarian really, I just couldn't give up pork.

sodhat wrote:How could you deny a thirsty donkey?

Look at its face!

It looks the same as a fully quenched donkey!

sodhat wrote:I should be a vegetarian really, I just couldn't give up pork.

I'm calling euphemism.

sodhat wrote:I get the feeling Mourinho was trying to de-stabilise United and take away a weapon ahead of the match. I don't know if he actually does want to sign him, struck me more as mind games.

Id agree with that Soddy. He spotted a frailty, an opportunity to effect a Man United player, a top draw player in the hope it would give his Chelsea the edge.
After last night though I do think Chelsea need a striker. Lukaku needs match time to get up to speed & try hit form. I get the feeling Joes doent like BA much or Torres for that matter.

Marky wrote:I can see Jose Mourinho being a failure at Chelsea, last night's game only added to my suspicions.

I said pretty much this when he was appointed & was laughed at. I have a feeling his second tenure wont be like his first.

Viva wrote:How do I stop him shoving a leaflet in my face everyday?

Take one & as you walk away from him just throw it straight away without even reading a word off it so he can see. I know it littering but he may stop trying to give you them if he knows you are going to waste it.

Azzy wrote:throw away two easy points just to potentially sign one overweight mofo.

Come on Azzy, the over weight mofo played a good match. He may of been sulking all summer but he hasn't threatened to quit the football all together due like some moody mofo strikers

Would you be able to eat meat if the deal was you had to kill it yourself? I don't think I could, I don't think I have the heart.

Although when an animal as delicious as a cow can be killed by pushing it over I think God may be suggesting it's there to be eaten.

Yeah that's my thoughts on Rooney. I think Jose wants to keep the saga going rather than actually sign him.

sodhat wrote:Would you be able to eat meat if the deal was you had to kill it yourself? I don't think I could, I don't think I have the heart.

Although when an animal as delicious as a cow can be killed by pushing it over I think God may be suggesting it's there to be eaten.

Depends what animal it is. I also wouldn't have the heart, I'd probably go for a leg or a bit of rump...

Marky wrote:

sodhat wrote:Would you be able to eat meat if the deal was you had to kill it yourself? I don't think I could, I don't think I have the heart.

Although when an animal as delicious as a cow can be killed by pushing it over I think God may be suggesting it's there to be eaten.

Depends what animal it is. I also wouldn't have the heart, I'd probably go for a leg or a bit of rump...

Could you strangle a c0ck?

While the hens watched?

sodhat wrote:

Marky wrote:

sodhat wrote:Would you be able to eat meat if the deal was you had to kill it yourself? I don't think I could, I don't think I have the heart.

Although when an animal as delicious as a cow can be killed by pushing it over I think God may be suggesting it's there to be eaten.

Depends what animal it is. I also wouldn't have the heart, I'd probably go for a leg or a bit of rump...

Could you strangle a c0ck?

While the hens watched?

I did once. That's why I was banned from Bar Med

Seriously, it depends on whether you believe the hens are brainless animals who just eat and poo all day, lay the odd egg. Or if they're all like in the film Chicken Run.

Soddy wrote:Would you be able to eat meat if the deal was you had to kill it yourself? I don't think I could, I don't think I have the heart.

I would, i enjoy meat too much to let any emotion towards an animal stop me eating it lol

GSC wrote:Yeah that's my thoughts on Rooney. I think Jose wants to keep the saga going rather than actually sign him.

Do you reckon hes after a striker at all?

If I did have to kill it myself I would have to do it in the most humane way possible. Which is why I'm against Halal meat being used in this country. It's a religious trait to pretty much murder the animal, ban it.

You have to kill them with a hammer too, ZZZ. Not a big hammer, your standard hammer.

Could you hammer a cow from behind? Could you give it a good seeing to with your tool?

I killed a chicken with my bare hands once. It got caught in barbed wire and cut itself to pieces, so my uncle said, if you kill him yourself, you can eat him all to yourself.

That bird was fine.

And it was my uncle's chicken btw, not some random one.

I dont think anybody here can kill anything more then a chicken.

I have a sword, I can kill anything. Pigeon. Squirrel. Fox. You name it.

sodhat wrote:You have to kill them with a hammer too, ZZZ. Not a big hammer, your standard hammer.

Could you hammer a cow from behind? Could you give it a good seeing to with your tool?

Already hammered a few fat cows from behind, would never let them get on top  

Azzy wrote:I killed a chicken with my bare hands once.

Your like some sort of Bear Grylls hardman aint you Azzy. Knocking people out with fists of steel, slaughtering animals with your bare hands. Do you sleep in a sheeps skin cut fresh off thier carcase each evening?

Azzy Mahmood wrote:I have a sword, I can kill anything. Pigeon. Squirrel. Fox. You name it.

Manatee?

VivaPaulScholes wrote:I dont think anybody here can kill anything more then a chicken.

I killed a Tamagotchi several times.

I've killed, skinned and gutted a rabbit, I also ensure my kids know where the food they get comes from and how it arrives on their plate.

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:I dont think anybody here can kill anything more then a chicken.

I killed a Tamagotchi several times.

 

If there is ever a zombie apocalypse, make your way to the Royal Observatory. It's where I'll be hiding / surveying the carnage. Some very defensible points, good views across London, and has its own supply of water.

Hero wrote:I've killed, skinned and gutted a rabbit, I also ensure my kids know where the food they get comes from and how it arrives on their plate.

You introduced them to the pizza delivery guy?

Flawed plan, Azzy. Zombies love space, everyone knows that.
They'd be on you like ZZZ on a fat cow.

Flawed plan, Azzy. Zombies love space, everyone knows that.
They'd be on you like ZZZ on a fat cow.

But I'd be hiding at the old building, not at the Planetarium

I thought zombies liked hiding in buildings? Like in I Am Legend?

BigFellasAfro wrote:

Hero wrote:I've killed, skinned and gutted a rabbit, I also ensure my kids know where the food they get comes from and how it arrives on their plate.

You introduced them to the pizza delivery guy?

Nah, he just took them to Pets at Home & let them pick which they wanted.

sodhat wrote:Flawed plan, Azzy. Zombies love space, everyone knows that.
They'd be on you like ZZZ on a fat cow.

I can imagine the look on the other children's faces as Hero is ripping apart a rabbit at Pets at Home

He'd be screaming "you've got to learn kids!" as he uses his teeth to pull its ears off

Azzy Mahmood wrote:If there is ever a zombie apocalypse, make your way to the Royal Observatory. It's where I'll be hiding / surveying the carnage. Some very defensible points, good views across London, and has its own supply of water.

Ok if there was a break out of a zombie virus what would you do? Be realistic so no guns or things you're not capable of.

I'd let one bite me and join the winning team of the undead.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:

Azzy Mahmood wrote:If there is ever a zombie apocalypse, make your way to the Royal Observatory. It's where I'll be hiding / surveying the carnage. Some very defensible points, good views across London, and has its own supply of water.

Ok if there was a break out of a zombie virus what would you do?  Be realistic so no guns or things you're not capable of.

Get my in-laws to my house. Better vantage points. Father-in-law can take point, I'll go round and kill all the people in our street. Anything moving now is hostile. We move all the cars to blockade the entrance to the street, siphon all the petrol out of them, get the biggest vehicle fuelled up and convert the roof to a mobile recon shelf. There's two blokes, me included, one handy lass, two useless women and two u6 boys. They take it in turns to be on point with one of the women, the handy lass is on mobile recon duty, I'm on the back, father-in-law drives us to the coast. We steal a boat, row to Isle of Wight, if there's zombie apocalypse there, continue along the coast to the Scilly Isles. Hardly any people there, kill them all, barrier off the port, no-one is getting in.

Details like food - take it from the neighbours houses. Sleep? Shifts. I have my sword, I am getting in the way of anything hostile.

Also there's a TA barracks 500 yards away, maybe break in and steal weaponry.

Id run out my flat, get everyone in my building to run round the corner to Sainsburys with me, loot as many trollies worth of tinned food, frozen pizza's  some toilet paper, one of each PS3 game there then go back to my building & chill waiting for Army Evacuation. The building is years old, used to be a nunnery way back, its a listed building now so its solid walls etc, no zombie will break in + all the flats are first & second floor. Everyone knows zombies cant climb

Azzy Mahmood wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:

Azzy Mahmood wrote:If there is ever a zombie apocalypse, make your way to the Royal Observatory. It's where I'll be hiding / surveying the carnage. Some very defensible points, good views across London, and has its own supply of water.

Ok if there was a break out of a zombie virus what would you do?  Be realistic so no guns or things you're not capable of.

Get my in-laws to my house. Better vantage points. Father-in-law can take point, I'll go round and kill all the people in our street. Anything moving now is hostile. We move all the cars to blockade the entrance to the street, siphon all the petrol out of them, get the biggest vehicle fuelled up and convert the roof to a mobile recon shelf. There's two blokes, me included, one handy lass, two useless women and two u6 boys. They take it in turns to be on point with one of the women, the handy lass is on mobile recon duty, I'm on the back, father-in-law drives us to the coast. We steal a boat, row to Isle of Wight, if there's zombie apocalypse there, continue along the coast to the Scilly Isles. Hardly any people there, kill them all, barrier off the port, no-one is getting in.

Details like food - take it from the neighbours houses. Sleep? Shifts. I have my sword, I am getting in the way of anything hostile.

Also there's a TA barracks 500 yards away, maybe break in and steal weaponry.

Anyone else get the sense that Azzy copied and pasted that from an existing plan?

Also, how long will it take you to row from Isle of Wight to Scilly Isles?

Azzy you won't be driving anywhere the roads will be jammed with traffic and road blocks. You'll have to go on foot.

Nick has a good idea id probably stock up on knives first aid and other things I can use as weapon.

Ross Barkley in the England squad apparantly

We'd take two engine powered ones from the Isle of Wight, don't be daft.

I would be ace in a zombie apocalypse. Just depends on how you get infected - is it coming into contact with the blood? Being bitten? Just looking at them? If it's a bite-only infestation, I am going to end up King of the Scilly Isles. If it's blood, I fancy my chances. If it's World War Z stuff, we're all going to die.

Plenty more to my plan btw. Supplies on the road and sea will be chocolate, water and carrots. Easier to carry, flat packs. I will arm the ladies with two sharp kitchen knives each, my father-in-law has the nail gun and a wood-copper, I have my sword, an axe, and a gas canister. Probably find some more good tools in neighbours houses. And there's a garage behind us, we can raid that for some useful tools / weapons. I'm breaking a hole in my roof so one of the ladies can watch for incoming hostiles. With no cars, planes, trains etc it'll be deathly silent. Nothing can approach us without us knowing. With all the neighbours' houses empty, I will connect them all by a series of tunnels dug from our front room along the road. We can escape if there is an emergency.

I could go on all day.

BigFellasAfro wrote:Ross Barkley in the England squad apparantly

To be fair I'd rather he played than Cleverley

Viva, roads will be empty, I'm not going anywhere for 10-12 days. Most people will be dead by then. I have a clear route to the motorway, not too far, then it's a straight drive to the coast. The army will all be dead as well so no-one will be watching for us. I can get us an electric car too, that makes zero noise so we could escape unmolested.