Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (2008)

Has anybody seen this extraordinary film?

A man is murdered by his mentally unstable ex-girlfriend in the US. She runs off to Canada to escape prosecution (with the unborn child of the man she has just killed). Man's parents fight for custody of the child and for the extradition of the woman. This becomes increasingly bizarre as they arrange for visits with the young boy, supervised by the woman, the killer of their own son.

It's made and presented by the best friend of the murdered man, as a document for the young boy so that one day, when he's older, he will know the truth about his father. What transpires throughout the film is almost unbelievable and at times unbearable.

I will not recommend this film, it is an extremely difficult watch at times. The ending stayed with me for a long time.

Anyone seen it?

Excuse my thickness, STC, but is it a documentary? I guess it is but wanted to be sure.

I haven't seen it but it sounds 'interesting'.

I am not sure I would/could watch it though. I can't do things that involve pain and misery on children so would probably avoid it.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Excuse my thickness, STC, but is it a documentary?  I guess it is but wanted to be sure.

I haven't seen it but it sounds 'interesting'.  

I am not sure I would/could watch it though.  I can't do things that involve pain and misery on children so would probably avoid it.

Sorry, yes, it is a documentary.

STC wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Excuse my thickness, STC, but is it a documentary?  I guess it is but wanted to be sure.

I haven't seen it but it sounds 'interesting'.  

I am not sure I would/could watch it though.  I can't do things that involve pain and misery on children so would probably avoid it.

Sorry, yes, it is a documentary.

Thanks pal.

That makes it even more unlikely I would watch it but thanks for bringing it to our attention.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Excuse my thickness, STC, but is it a documentary?  I guess it is but wanted to be sure.

I haven't seen it but it sounds 'interesting'.  

I am not sure I would/could watch it though.  I can't do things that involve pain and misery on children so would probably avoid it.

Sounds like you're a prime candidate for Grave of the Fireflies then, Tino.  Have gone on about it a bit recently but it's one you have to watch if you haven't already.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Excuse my thickness, STC, but is it a documentary?  I guess it is but wanted to be sure.

I haven't seen it but it sounds 'interesting'.  

I am not sure I would/could watch it though.  I can't do things that involve pain and misery on children so would probably avoid it.

Sounds like you're a prime candidate for Grave of the Fireflies then, Tino.  Have gone on about it a bit recently but it's one you have to watch if you haven't already.

I've seen you mention it a few times but I haven't seen it. Shall I bother?

I did google it and I will be honest here, I am not very good with animated films. I can do stuff like Nemo, Cars or Wall E but anything more intelligent than that and I struggle.

If I spend my not very hard earned cash on it and it is rubbish I will not be impressed.

Don't tend to enjoy animated films either but I do make an exception for Studio Ghibli.  GotF definitely worth a watch, I'm quite a heartless b'stard but the tears were dripping off my cheeks for the last bit of the film - if anyone had've seen me I probably would've been forced to kill them.  Can't quite place my finger on why this particular film was so harrowing but having read comments on the IMDB user's forum it seems that uncontrollable grief is the norm when watching.

I think you can watch the whole film on youtube - not sure if it's subtitled or not but I'd recommend the sub-titled version.

OK, I will give it a go.

If I get overly upset and have to take to drink and hard drugs to cope before falling into a pit of despair, losing my wife, house, children and possessions, I will am going to be a little miffed.

Yeah, that might be a bit annoying.  Will more than likely make you spend all your cash on your offspring instead of drink/hard drugs though out of some misdirected guilt.  I went looking for kids to protect after I'd watched it but the Metropolitan Police said that I shouldn't be doing it.

Would lend you my copy but I don't really have any reason to trust you.

If it will help Galted I am happy to vouch for Tina's general trustworthiness. To be honest he is so rich he has little to no reason to steal of us ordinary folk.

May do a thread about best documentaries if I am not too lazy.

Rowley wrote:If it will help Galted I am happy to vouch for Tina's general trustworthiness. To be honest he is so rich he has little to no reason to steal of us ordinary folk.

May do a thread about best documentaries if I am not too lazy.

That is one of the nicest things you've ever said to me, Jeff. Granted, there is not that many to choose from, but nevertheless, I am touched.

Cheers, Rowley, but the truth is that I'm just a tight-fisted tw@t and wouldn't have a clue about the amount of postage required as I hate Post Offices.  Tried to cover this up with the untrustworthy accusation.

Galted wrote:Cheers, Rowley, but the truth is that I'm just a tight-fisted tw@t and wouldn't have a clue about the amount of postage required as I hate Post Offices.  Tried to cover this up with the untrustworthy accusation.

You work in London, don't you?

We could meet somewhere to do the handover but I would almost certainly not turn up. Some of your posting is far too alarming to let that happen.

That's correct.  If you're ever between Cannon Street and Liverpool Street in the late afternoon you may see me striding magnificently in my jeans (or corduroys) and GoreTex jacket while the ladies swoon.

Galted wrote:That's correct.  If you're ever between Cannon Street and Liverpool Street in the late afternoon you may see me striding magnificently in my jeans (or corduroys) and GoreTex jacket while the ladies swoon.

Wearing Hi-Tecs?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:That's correct.  If you're ever between Cannon Street and Liverpool Street in the late afternoon you may see me striding magnificently in my jeans (or corduroys) and GoreTex jacket while the ladies swoon.

Wearing Hi-Tecs?

Yes.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:That's correct.  If you're ever between Cannon Street and Liverpool Street in the late afternoon you may see me striding magnificently in my jeans (or corduroys) and GoreTex jacket while the ladies swoon.

Wearing Hi-Tecs?

Yes.

Think I might have seen you. Didn't see a huge amount of swooning women though so could be mistaken.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:That's correct.  If you're ever between Cannon Street and Liverpool Street in the late afternoon you may see me striding magnificently in my jeans (or corduroys) and GoreTex jacket while the ladies swoon.

Wearing Hi-Tecs?

Yes.

Think I might have seen you.  Didn't see a huge amount of swooning women though so could be mistaken.

There won't normally be that many as the police tend to clear the way so as to stop the pavements getting too slippery.  At times I may walk extra-jauntily (depending on what's on my iPod) which sometimes requires getting the super-soppers out.

Fantastic documentary but I have to echo the sentiments above when I say it's equally gut wrenching and thought provoking.

The arranged meetings for the grandparents to see their grandchild in the presence of their sons killer was just frightening.

SharkSoul wrote:Fantastic documentary but I have to echo the sentiments above when I say it's equally gut wrenching and thought provoking.

The arranged meetings for the grandparents to see their grandchild in the presence of their sons killer was just frightening.    

I really felt for the parents/grandparents. The emotions pouring out from them were almost unbearable to watch. Heartbreaking.

May take a look at this film, but with it being true, I may see red, and switch off. Definitely worth a look.

Stella wrote:May take a look at this film, but with it being true, I may see red, and switch off. Definitely worth a look.

I wouldn't recommend it.

STC wrote:

Stella wrote:May take a look at this film, but with it being true, I may see red, and switch off. Definitely worth a look.

I wouldn't recommend it.

Because it's difficult to watch?

Stella wrote:

STC wrote:

Stella wrote:May take a look at this film, but with it being true, I may see red, and switch off. Definitely worth a look.

I wouldn't recommend it.

Because it's difficult to watch?

It sounds like I'm daring people to watch it, I suppose I am in a way. I just want to make sure that if you do decide to seek it out that I have covered my back and given the sufficient warning beforehand. I know it sounds a bit melodramatic but this film genuinely did upset me and that very rarely happens.

STC wrote:

Stella wrote:

STC wrote:

Stella wrote:May take a look at this film, but with it being true, I may see red, and switch off. Definitely worth a look.

I wouldn't recommend it.

Because it's difficult to watch?

It sounds like I'm daring people to watch it, I suppose I am in a way. I just want to make sure that if you do decide to seek it out that I have covered my back and given the sufficient warning beforehand. I know it sounds a bit melodramatic but this film genuinely did upset me and that very rarely happens.

Sounds painful. It's on you tube so I might watch it tonight. I'll blame you if I cry.

Stella wrote:

STC wrote:

Stella wrote:

STC wrote:

Stella wrote:May take a look at this film, but with it being true, I may see red, and switch off. Definitely worth a look.

I wouldn't recommend it.

Because it's difficult to watch?

It sounds like I'm daring people to watch it, I suppose I am in a way. I just want to make sure that if you do decide to seek it out that I have covered my back and given the sufficient warning beforehand. I know it sounds a bit melodramatic but this film genuinely did upset me and that very rarely happens.

Sounds painful. It's on you tube so I might watch it tonight. I'll blame you if I cry.

Haha. Fair enough.

I cried a couple of times.

Googled this earlier, had a read of it.

Very sad.

Watched it last night. A really sad and almost unbelievable story, tbh. It was well made but was a little sickly sweet in parts. Not knowing the story helps as well.

Stella wrote:Watched it last night. A really sad and almost unbelievable story, tbh. It was well made but was a little sickly sweet in parts. Not knowing the story helps as well.

Yeah not knowing the story certainly gives the film a lot more of an impact, especially the ending.

STC wrote:

Stella wrote:Watched it last night. A really sad and almost unbelievable story, tbh. It was well made but was a little sickly sweet in parts. Not knowing the story helps as well.

Yeah not knowing the story certainly gives the film a lot more of an impact, especially the ending.

Indeed. Obviously won't go into detail but it was a 'f.ck me' moment.

Stella wrote:

STC wrote:

Stella wrote:Watched it last night. A really sad and almost unbelievable story, tbh. It was well made but was a little sickly sweet in parts. Not knowing the story helps as well.

Yeah not knowing the story certainly gives the film a lot more of an impact, especially the ending.

Indeed. Obviously won't go into detail but it was a 'f.ck me' moment.

Certainly was. It took me a while to get my head around it.

Here's a link to the full documentary for those that are interested.

I will reiterate that watching it is an emotionally difficult experience.

I just finished watching this.  I went against my own instincts and sat through it.

It really is an incredible story, almost too unbelievable to be true.  A very emotional piece of film making and certainly a story that needed to be told.

My overriding observation is that it re-affirmed my faith in humanity (the grandparents) whilst at the same time reminding me just how truly dreadful human beings can be (Shirley).  Its a paradox and I feel confused after watching it.  I expected to be fighting back the tears yet they were never close to coming and I think that is probably a result of how surreal the whole experience felt.  It will stay with me and had some truly jaw dropping moments but it was almost too ridiculous a set of circumstances to conceptualise.  The law is an ass and the human cost in this story highlights it to the most excruciating degree.  

Spoiler:

Great watch although deeply troubling on many levels.

Thanks for bringing to out attention, STC.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I just finished watching this.  I went against my own instincts and sat through it.

It really is an incredible story, almost too unbelievable to be true.  A very emotional piece of film making and certainly a story that needed to be told.

My overriding observation is that it re-affirmed my faith in humanity (the grandparents) whilst at the same time reminding me just how truly dreadful human beings can be (Shirley).  Its a paradox and I feel confused after watching it.  I expected to be fighting back the tears yet they were never close to coming and I think that is probably a result of how surreal the whole experience felt.  It will stay with me and had some truly jaw dropping moments but it was almost too ridiculous a set of circumstances to conceptualise.  The law is an ass and the human cost in this story highlights it to the most excruciating degree.  

Spoiler:

Great watch although deeply troubling on many levels.

Thanks for bringing to out attention, STC.

I'm glad you took something positive away from it, i.e. the grandparents' strength and resilience. It's hard to imagine all the terrible emotions they went through. They really are incredible people.

STC wrote:
They really are incredible people.

They sure are. Unbelievably inspirational. I am almost certain I wouldn't have handled it with the dignity and strength of character they showed.

One of the parts I keeping thinking back to is one of the few moments when the grandfathers mask slipped and he shouted something about "killing that f*cking evil bitch". It was like all the anger and rage just slipped out for that one moment and then he went back to being this strong, dignified man who was dealing with the most heartbreaking situation.

Amazing people.

I would have killed the fu..ng nutter!

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

STC wrote:
They really are incredible people.

They sure are.  Unbelievably inspirational.  I am almost certain I wouldn't have handled it with the dignity and strength of character they showed.

One of the parts I keeping thinking back to is one of the few moments when the grandfathers mask slipped and he shouted something about "killing that f*cking evil bitch".  It was like all the anger and rage just slipped out for that one moment and then he went back to being this strong, dignified man who was dealing with the most heartbreaking situation.

Amazing people.

It was almost funny when he had that outburst. It seemed so out of character but it just expressed perfectly the rage he felt towards that woman. And who can blame him.

Stella wrote:I would have killed the fu..ng nutter!

I would hate to be in that situation, but I totally agree with you.