Euro Division LXV

First topic message reminder :

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Enrique & J from 5ive League
 
FC WHU Do You Think You Are - Gregers
Bilbao - Afro
Would you dance, if Ajax you to dance? - Sodhat
Southampton FC - Marky
PSV - GSC
Sport Club Corinthians Paulista - Nando                                                                              
Lille - Trebs
 
Glad t'be bach - Hero
 
FC Basel - cherriesfna
 
FC ZwagAtletico - Zinedine_Ze_Zebra
 
The Nodge - Olly
 
Fool 'em FC - Azzy

Azzy Mahmood wrote:True. I hate most music it has to be said.

Azzy? Hates something? Where's that surprised smiley...... oh, I don't need it

I hate you Kenny.

Ever had the question "What are your career aims?" in an appraisal?

All I can think is "as much money as possible for as little work/responsibility as I can get away with".

Best answer is always "first, I want your job. Then, I want your bosses job."

That got me a promotion last time

That would get you fired before you could say "Jimmy has no legs!"

We have to put it on our appraisal forms, but never discuss it and I'm pretty sure it never gets looked at

Apparantly our HR have started to introduce random questions into interviews now. I have heard of these four in the last couple of weeks, getting progressively less relevant to the job:

WHat is your favourite film?
What was the last book you read?
What inspirational leader do you look up to?
If an intergalactic war started tomorrow, what would be the first thing you'd do?

I can't go any higher than I already am where I work though Azzy. I'm the only one that does what I do. All I can get is more money for doing it. I'm also the only one that can properly work our computer system so that's good leverage if I threaten to quit...

Afro wrote:We have to put it on our appraisal forms, but never discuss it and I'm pretty sure it never gets looked at

Apparantly our HR have started to introduce random questions into interviews now. I have heard of these four in the last couple of weeks, getting progressively less relevant to the job:

WHat is your favourite film?
What was the last book you read?
What inspirational leader do you look up to?
If an intergalactic war started tomorrow, what would be the first thing you'd do?

I can almost understand them being semi-relevant to work, except that last one

I'd love for Azzy to go to a job interview at your place and be asked "What would you do in the event of a zombie apocalypse?"

They'd be there for hours.

My work seem to have a thing for work trips to the most depressing places on earth.
This year we’ve visited a concentration camp and in 2 months time are visiting the battlefields of World War 1.

Looking forward to Syria 2014 then?

sodhat wrote:

Afro wrote:We have to put it on our appraisal forms, but never discuss it and I'm pretty sure it never gets looked at

Apparantly our HR have started to introduce random questions into interviews now. I have heard of these four in the last couple of weeks, getting progressively less relevant to the job:

WHat is your favourite film?
What was the last book you read?
What inspirational leader do you look up to?
If an intergalactic war started tomorrow, what would be the first thing you'd do?

I can almost understand them being semi-relevant to work, except that last one

I'd love for Azzy to go to a job interview at your place and be asked "What would you do in the event of a zombie apocalypse?"

They'd be there for hours.

Apparantly it's to judge your reaction to something out of the ordinary, and whether your first thought is work, family, yourself

I have a Flash Gordon related answer stored up just in case I am ever asked that question in the future.

I'm thinking of proposing the duck sized horses as a question. It nothing else, it would stop Viva ever getting a job here

Or would they commend his preparedness?
Watch him, he might have your job.

They would probably worry that he puts too much thought into things, whilst also hiding all the sharp objects in the canteen

I am all over that question. Like I said, if it happens at work, I'm making the Royal Observatory my home. Defending the Harrison chronometers AND saving the world, that's how I roll.

Syria 2014, is that a new band going on tour?

May I also just say that Liverpool's kit last night was the most hideous thing I've ever seen on a football pitch. And that includes Iain Dowie.

Funny you say that back in year 8 or 9 I was banned from using any sharp objects in my Art class. I felt like Steve Buscemi in the film Con Air.

Ms Suzuki that's my art teachers name, she was Japanese, back then I had no interest but I wouldn't mind banging her now.

Oh yeah I got banned for no reason, I didn't hurt anyone she probably didn't like me.

I had an interview at John Lewis this morning. The zombie question didn't come up

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Oh yeah I got banned for no reason, I didn't hurt anyone she probably didn't like me.

Why do I get the feeling she made the right decision?

GSC wrote:I had an interview at John Lewis this morning. The zombie question didn't come up

Hope you get the job, the bonuses are unreal.

Tis an Xmas job, but yeah everyone's a partner

Question: How was the process of milking Cows for milk first discovered?

I don't know but drinking cows milk is a bit odd when you think about it.

I'm pretty confident we're the only animals that drink another animals milk.

Off the top of my head, I think theres an animal which lays it eggs in another creatures nest and its children feed off it.

Not 100% on that though

Hero wrote:My work seem to have a thing for work trips to the most depressing places on earth.
This year we’ve visited a concentration camp and in 2 months time are visiting the battlefields of World War 1.

Done it all with school, found it proper interesting. What camp did you go to?!

I can have milk with tea, cereal but never ever on it's own. I don't know how people can drink a glass of milk, I'd throw up.

Olly wrote:

Hero wrote:My work seem to have a thing for work trips to the most depressing places on earth.
This year we’ve visited a concentration camp and in 2 months time are visiting the battlefields of World War 1.

Done it all with school, found it proper interesting. What camp did you go to?!

You shouldn't have used an exclamation mark. You make it sound like he's been to Butlins.

It was Dachau near Munich that we visited, as camps go it wasn't one of the worst for exterminations (though that hardly makes it a holiday camp as they happily gave the prisoners diseases and experimentated on kids etc).

I've written my tactics a day early, so Sod you are banned from making any transfers.

sodhat wrote:

Olly wrote:

Hero wrote:My work seem to have a thing for work trips to the most depressing places on earth.
This year we’ve visited a concentration camp and in 2 months time are visiting the battlefields of World War 1.

Done it all with school, found it proper interesting. What camp did you go to?!

You shouldn't have used an exclamation mark. You make it sound like he's been to Butlins.

I'll use whatever punctuation I want thank you very much¡

Hero wrote:It was Dachau near Munich that we visited, as camps go it wasn't one of the worst for exterminations (though that hardly makes it a holiday camp as they happily gave the prisoners diseases and experimentated on kids etc).

Did you find it very cold there? It was very very cold at Auschwitz and I was wrapped up like a penguin

No one offer you a nice warm shower?

There was a few inches of snow on the ground so yes I found it rather brisk.

Some TM increases have gone through in the Dutch league.

Bakkali up to £1.8m Hero, Duarte only up by £650k

Help needed.

OK whenever I go on YouTube on my phone it recommends videos I don't have a problem with that but the problem I do have is the videos that are recommended are off women from middle East dancing extremely sexually. I've never in my whole life go on that sort of stuff on YouTube or on the net so how does it turn up on my phone? I need to know how to get rid of it.

I don't want to sign out of YouTube because I won't be able to comment or like videos.

Cracked me up.

Can't you adjust settings on Youtube to only show certain categories of recommended videos? Maybe in your account settings.

The alternative is to stop googling attractive middle eastern women.

sodhat wrote:The alternative is to stop googling attractive middle eastern women.

Youtube always shows me what I've been Googling, it's true. I have reams of videos on the homepage about Dungeon Siege III right now  

Azzy Mahmood wrote:

sodhat wrote:The alternative is to stop googling attractive middle eastern women.

Youtube always shows me what I've been Googling, it's true. I have reams of videos on the homepage about Dungeon Siege III right now  

It's because they track you around the internet   like the advertising does

Azzy Mahmood wrote:

sodhat wrote:The alternative is to stop googling attractive middle eastern women.

Youtube always shows me what I've been Googling, it's true. I have reams of videos on the homepage about Dungeon Siege III right now  

Sounds filthy.

Once on facebook I was invited to "like" a particularly niche fetish club in the LA area.

I have no idea what I must have googled. The worst part is that it was a private group so it's really selective.

Well I've send feedback to Youtube hopefully they'll fix it for me.

Okay, I am now livid. My boss has just blamed me for not doing a specific job a year ago, and how it's all my fault blah blah blah.

Except it was HIS job, as we agreed a year ago. Problem is you can't exactly sit there while someone is foaming at the mouth and say 'er, gaffer, check the mirror'.

Got any written evidence that it was his job to do?

That would be helpful. You could leave it by the teapoint or something so he sees it.

Kick the Poopie out of him Azzy.

My word against his. It's something legal which could result in a fine, and he said he'd do it because he does the same thing for two other companies.

I feel violated.

Ask him if he has RWAT

Azzy Mahmood wrote:My word against his. It's something legal which could result in a fine, and he said he'd do it because he does the same thing for two other companies.

I feel violated.

Hmm... Well if it is a big deal then I'd say set your stall out early and say he said he'd do it.

If it isn't then don't worry about it. Just make a voodoo doll of your boss.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Kick the Poopie out of him Azzy.

The length between his last post and now suggests he may have taken your advice.

I hope you have a lawyer.