Euro Division LXVIII

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The Enrique & J from 5ive League

FC WHU Do You Think You Are - Gregers
Bilbao - Afro
Would you dance, if Ajax you to dance? - Sodhat
Southampton FC - Marky
PSV - CF
Sport Club Corinthians Paulista - Nando                                                                              
Lille - Trebs

Glad t'be bach - Hero

FC Basel - Viva

FC ZwagAtletico - Zinedine_Ze_Zebra

The Nodge - Olly

Fool 'em FC - Azzy

"Train derails and collides with Monkey Paradise. 4 monkeys dead, 3 wounded, and one throwing poo."

Azzy Mahmood wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:We've had technical directors, assistant managers, scouts, caretaker managers but never a translator. Azzy fancy joining the Basel team as our Translator?

I could be your social media liaison maybe?

I'd like that, far too many times my words have been twisted by the media. Welcome to the club Mr Mahmood.

How fast does the train go?

Is that the follow up to 'What does the fox say?'

I forgot to mention I had a dream the other day involving Sodhat and Olly who made a cameo. 


We entered a Hot Air Balloon race, the race got to the midway stage and we passed a yellow and green coloured balloon, we heard cries of distress and shouting for our help.  It was Olly he was paired with a nutter and I'm not sure if the guy raped him but the screams coming form Olly didn't sound so good. . Sadly the dream finished there and I couldn't rescue you Olly.

Those were screams of pleasure Viva

VivaPaulScholes wrote:I forgot to mention I had a dream the other day involving Sodhat and Olly who made a cameo. 


We entered a Hot Air Balloon race, the race got to the midway stage and we passed a yellow and green coloured balloon, we heard cries of distress and shouting for our help.  It was Olly he was paired with a nutter and I'm not sure if the guy raped him but the screams coming form Olly didn't sound so good. . Sadly the dream finished there and I couldn't rescue you Olly.

Really glad my boss isn't in because I couldn't stifle that laugh

Guess who was voted defender of the match for last weekend's hockey game vs East London?

Ok, I'll tell you. ME. I WAS. HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?

Thank god for that Olly because I really thought you were in danger. 

Sodhat I wasn't 100% sure if he got raped so didn't want to make up things anyway Olly confirmed it was screams of pleasure.

It was definitely Azzy in that balloon with him.

I had an awesome dream the other day - I went back in time and went to Woolworths.

sodhat wrote:Guess who was voted defender of the match for last weekend's hockey game vs East London?

Ok, I'll tell you. ME. I WAS. HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?

Hockey is for girls Soddy................ 

sodhat wrote:It was definitely Azzy in that balloon with him.

Hence, screams of pleasure.

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

sodhat wrote:Guess who was voted defender of the match for last weekend's hockey game vs East London?

Ok, I'll tell you. ME. I WAS. HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?

Hockey is for girls Soddy................ 

Yeah, and they are usually on the pitch the game before us and I can watch them in their short skirts.

And then hope they are old enough.

That's the danger with hockey. You see a girl who's actually fit, which is so rare on a hockey pitch, then have to work out whether you're allowed to look or not

One of my flatmates was looking out of his window once and some school girls walking past called him a pervert. I told him they were just being annoying (as girls are), but he then remembered he was standing in just a pair of pants, and that one of his nuts may have been in view  

Azzy Mahmood wrote:That's the danger with hockey. You see a girl who's actually fit, which is so rare on a hockey pitch, then have to work out whether you're allowed to look or not

One of my flatmates was looking out of his window once and some school girls walking past called him a pervert. I told him they were just being annoying (as girls are), but he then remembered he was standing in just a pair of pants, and that one of his nuts may have been in view  

The better the side is the fitter the girls. Our ladies 1s have an immensely fit forward who I estimate is 19/20 ish. Certainly glad for the elastic waistband on my shorts when I watch her.

Last call for sheep

So, hockey, any space for a semi-fat goalie in your team?

Fatness really doesn't stop people playing hockey. I play defence and usually stand deepest to cover and it's so easy to outpace the strikers because a good percentage are just fat blokes that hit hard.

I didn't think you were allowed to touch each other in hockey? And that's why you get hit with a stick so much?

You can't physically contact really but people do. Or I do. I meant they strike the ball well because they are big chubbers. All you do is stand in the way of it.

Sheep coming now.

I've got a friend who used to captain his Uni Hockey team and Believe me Nick you wouldn't be saying that if you got hit by the stick, he seen quite a few broken legs and ankles.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:I've got a friend who used to captain his Uni Hockey team and Believe me Nick you wouldn't be saying that if you got hit by the stick, he seen quite a few broken legs and ankles.

My mate was captain for Man Met when he was in Uni & in the England squad.
I said it to WUM Soddy Viva. thats why I put a ........ on the end

Oh an I used to play County level Hockey and the Pakistan Hockey team gave me trials and wanted me to play for them but I rejected them.  So I know more about the physical demands of hockey. So 

1. Name a song by Britney Spears

Hit Me Baby One More Time - 4
sodhat
Viva
Gregers
ZZZ

Toxic - 2
Olly
Hero

Oops I did it again - 1
Azzy

2. Name a film starring James McAvoy


Xmen First Class - 2
Viva
ZZZ

Last King of Scotland - 2
Hero
Azzy

Atonement - 1
Gregers

Filth - 1
sodhat

And the award for the most homoerotic answer of the entire quiz (including the kissing question) goes to:

Stardust - 1
Olly

After 2:

Olly 3
Viva 6
Gregers 5
Hero 4
Azzy 3
ZZZ 6
sodhat 5

Starlight had a good song though

3. Name a position played in Rugby Union

Full back - 2
Olly
Viva

Fly half - 2
Gregers
sodhat

Hooker - 2
Hero
Azzy

Scrum half - 1
ZZZ

After 3:

Olly 5
Viva 8
Gregers 7
Hero 6
Azzy 5
ZZZ 7
sodhat 7

4. Name a maker/manufacturer of aircraft

Boeing - 5
Gregers
Olly
sodhat
Hero
Azzy

Rolls Royce - 1
Viva

British Aerospace - 1
ZZZ

After 4:
Olly 10
Viva 9
Gregers 12
Hero 11
Azzy 10
ZZZ 8
sodhat 12

I said Boeing

5. Name a former leader of the Soviet Union

Stalin - 3
Olly
ZZZ
sodhat

no answer…. - 1
Viva

Lenin - 1
Gregers

Yeltzin - 1
Hero

Gorbachev - 1
Azzy

Olly 13
Viva 10
Gregers 13
Hero 12
Azzy 11
ZZZ 11
sodhat 15

This is what you sent me, I took your first answer and you missed the USSR question completely:

Hit me baby
Xmen First Class
Fullback
Royals Royce
Boeing
Roberto Baggio
Churchill the English Bulldog insurance adverts
This is a hard one kissing especially with tounges is very personal, hygiene is a must and most of the league are lacking that. Tough one its between Afro and Nick probably, I have a feeling Afros prickly facial hair will tickle argh I'll go with Nick.

6. Name a footballer that has missed a penalty in a penalty shoot out in an international tournament.

Southgate - 3
Olly
ZZZ
sodhat

Roberto Baggio - 1
Viva

Beckham - 1
Gregers

Pearce - 1
Hero

Waddle - 1
Azzy

After 6:

Olly 16
Viva 11
Gregers 14
Hero 13
Azzy 12
ZZZ 14
sodhat 18

I meant to write Hit me Baby One More Time, and it came out as Oops I Did it Again

7. Name a television dog

Oddly, everyone had a different one:

Pippin Olly
Churchill Viva
Pudsey Gregers
Jordan Hero
Wellard Azzy
Lassie ZZZ
Clifford the big red dog sodhat

After 7:
Olly 17
Viva 12
Gregers 15
Hero 14
Azzy 13
ZZZ 15
sodhat 19

Check out me and Hero showing our age

8. I give you £1m to kiss another pretend manager (with tongues, for a prolonged time) who do you kiss?

Marky - 2
Olly
sodhat

sodhat - 2
ZZZ
Azzy

ZZZ - 1
Viva

Hero - 1
Gregers

Viva - 1
Hero

And the shepherd is:

 sodhat 21
Olly 19
ZZZ 17
Gregers 16
Hero 15
Azzy 15
Viva 13

Crop you're right. Do we get afternoon sheep?  Azzy said he'll take in answers.

I'd have finished with 21 if I did it properly.

TV dog - Jordan   Hero should win just for that answer

BOOM, Just sold a Football Goal for a Gillette commercial

At least I didn't finish last

I'll compile questions if someone else takes answers?

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:BOOM, Just sold a Football Goal for a Gillette commercial

Gotto get them delivered on Monday....Its going to be a close shave  

Who has the bottle to step up and run a sheep?

C'mon guys. Give back to the league that loves you.

Hi all happy lunchtime.

I'm hoping that I can get some points from my 2 games this week.

Thanks for your reply on the sponsor question earlier too Sodhat.

No worries, if you need to know anything just ask on here and someone will tell you. We all more or less know the rules, like a big family run league.

I will point out though, that any reference to "lunch" or "lunchtime" on these pages will have to now be referred too as kunch and kunchtime. It's a tradition now.

Okay thanks mate.

The sponsor thing was an idea that I had the other day then I saw it yesterday I think being mentioned so I thought I would ask.

sodhat wrote:Who has the bottle to step up and run a sheep?

C'mon guys. Give back to the league that loves you.

And no one is stepping up!

I hope someone materialises to save the day by the time I've finished my kunch.