Euro Division LXIX

First topic message reminder :

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Enrique & J from 5ive League
 
FC WHU Do You Think You Are - Gregers
 
Bilbao - Afro
 
Would you dance, if Ajax you to dance? - Sodhat
 
Southampton FC - Marky
 
PSV - Holymik
 
Sport Club Corinthians Paulista - Nando                                                                              
 
Lille - Trebs
 
Glad t'be bach - Hero
 
FC Basel - Viva
 
FC ZwagAtletico - Zinedine_Ze_Zebra
 
The Nodge - Olly
 
Fool 'em FC - Tranq

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Last week I was in a takeaway and sitting behind me was a women and her partner so I leaned back and put my arm on the top of the leather seating, I touched something soft and assumed it was the split which seals both our seats together so I tried to push my hands down there (I do it when I'm super comfortable) and I heard a gasp and turned around and seen the women's face white as a ghost I apologised a hundred times her boyfriend or husband must have been a wimp if he just watched. 

She must have thought not was I content with touching her back but also trying to ram my hand down the back of her top it was a low cut type.  I didn't hear them speak for the remainder of the time I was there.

You mean you stayed there?

sodhat wrote:And what do we reckon for Ashley Young this time?

9.5 or 10.0?

Needs to be banned and fined, Moyes has already spoke to him about it yet he still dives.  Let's sell him or do not play him until he cuts it out completely.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Trying to ram my hand down her top it was a low cut type.

Viva you pimp daddy!

I had to stay there because two of my friends were eating and if I did leave immediately it would have seemed that I was in the wrong and tried to touch her up on purpose. 

I think they were more embrassed about it then I was.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:I had to stay there because two of my friends were eating and if I did leave immediately it would have seemed that I was in the wrong and tried to touch her up on purpose. 

I think they were more embrassed about it then I was.

I bet the erection was hard to explain away.

Talk of which, there is a site called awkward boners. You should all see it.

I remember being in PE class once and my friend walked in wearing the tightest white shorts ever, and he had a massive boner for no reason. He didn't even try to hide it.

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Trying to ram my hand down her top it was a low cut type.

Viva you pimp daddy!

Haha it was by accident, in my defense she didn't exactly flinch or move when I made the initial contact only till I tried to move my hand down she turned around. I like to believe that she secretly enjoyed it and would have let me go all the way if her husband wasn't there.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:I like to believe that she secretly enjoyed it and would have let me go all the way if her husband wasn't there.

What if she wanted her husband to stay & watch!

She probably though initial contact was an accident. Obviously when you decided to fly south she realised you were some sort of takeaway-dwelling predator.

sodhat wrote:Takeaway-dwelling predator.

In conjunction with creepy men in long coat park-dwelling predator

Zinedine_Ze_Zebra wrote:

VivaPaulScholes wrote:I like to believe that she secretly enjoyed it and would have let me go all the way if her husband wasn't there.

What if she wanted her husband to stay & watch!

Then I'd join them at their table and take things further but I'm not doing anything remotely gay with her husband.

Viva's takeaway

Viva: Hi, what would you like?

Customer: I'd love some pork balls.

Viva: HOW ABOUT THESE PORK BALLS.

 


Viva's Creepy Long Coat Wearing Firework Theme Park 

Viva: Hi what display would you like to see? 

Customer : Something colourful with a bang. 

Viva: LET ME SHOW YOU MY COLOURFUL BANG

 I was about to do a fireworks one

Viva's & the 17 year old chav milf

Viva: Hi does your child like Kinder Surprise?

17 year old chav milf: Yea dem alreet

Viva: WELL HOWD YOU LIKE THIS SURPRISE!

Viva serving at the chip shop

Viva: "Would you like salt and vinegar with that?"

Customer: "Yes just some vinegar please!

Viva: "HOW ABOUT MY HOMEMADE VINEGAR!"

Viva working in a sweet shop

Viva: Do you like Maltesers?

Customer: Yes

Viva: Then check out these brown balls

Viva at Burger King

Customer: Could I get a large whopper meal please?

Viva: I'LL GIVE YOU THIS LARGE WHOPPER ON THE HOUSE.

Viva working at a Hot Dog stand

Nah, too obvious...

Afro wrote:Quite a lot of them.

It needs someone to take over control and get things done really. That used to be me and Soddy.

At the moment, it's only really Olly and Treb's doing anything. Olly will collect tactics and Treb's does injuries and lawyers, but that is it as far as I can tell.

We probably don't need anyone doing releases as it pretty much does itself, but everything else needs someone to do it.

I can collect votes and post results.

Customer: What sides can I get with my meal?

Viva: Well, you can have fries, sweet potato fries, rice, or MY MASSIVE DICK.

I like the blunt ones.

Viva at the zoo

Viva: Do you exhibit snakes here?

Zoo keeper: No we don't

Viva: WELL HOWS ABOUT MY SNAKE EXHIBITATION

sodhat wrote:Customer: What sides can I get with my meal?

Viva: Well, you can have fries, sweet potato fries, rice, or MY MASSIVE DICK.

I like the blunt ones.

Agreed.

Viva working at the Bakery

Customer: Lovely weather we're having

Viva: Look at my man sausage. LOOK AT IT!

Viva at a strip club

Viva: OK, you've shown me yours.....NOW I SHOW YOU MINE!

 brilliant just waiting for Afros one. 


Someone should make a Twitter account for this.

 Set a new twitter up Viva, Im sure we can think of many more  

Teacher Viva

Viva: Welcome to show and tell kids. I SHOW, YOU DON'T TELL.

Too far?

Viva and his adventures or Stuff Viva does.

VivaPaulScholes wrote:Viva and his adventures or Stuff Viva does.

nah, just simply: Viva & his Wang!

Anyone get Cod Ghosts then?
Extinction mode is AWESOME!!! Tricky trying to shoot aliens when they literally jump all over the place.

Don't have cod and I won't be getting it, you've been fooled multiple times by them Nick and you don't realise it.  They churn same crap year in year out. Once you mentioned aliens that immediately put me off, if I want to fight aliens I'll play gears of war. 

I have Netflix but I'm thinking of replacing it with love film, what do you reckon?  Who has more instant titles and who has the newer films?  I'm sticking with the standard 5.99 do you can't have films posted to you.  I had love film on trial years ago when they did games it was pretty good.  Can I watch it through my ps3? How many account can I share it on?

I have no issues with Netflix whatsoever

Marky wrote:

Afro wrote:Quite a lot of them.

It needs someone to take over control and get things done really. That used to be me and Soddy.

At the moment, it's only really Olly and Treb's doing anything. Olly will collect tactics and Treb's does injuries and lawyers, but that is it as far as I can tell.

We probably don't need anyone doing releases as it pretty much does itself, but everything else needs someone to do it.

I can collect votes and post results.

That would be great as that is a big chunk of what Soddy used to do.

From a week to week perspective that is it, so it just needs someone to take care of getting the league ready for season 2.

Zidane came up with the following list (which I have precised):

Update players in the League and Enrique's left in lawyers.


And new pages for Season 2 (having new pages will make it easier to track)
Fixture List page (plus generating new fixtures).
Lawyers
Injuries
TP Bids
TP Confirmation
Releases
Results page
League Table
Top scorers
Tactics

New results calculation method needs to updated on Rules page.

I'll update the Players in the League list as it is easier for me from my Excel file

TP Bids and Transfer Confirmation pages have already been done, but the rest is up for grabs. Once pages are set-up I will do stickying/unstickying and moving around etc

City have had an official Twitter account for years and they have a million followers, United have had their for 4 months and already have 1.5m. 

United account is boring, Arsenal have a good one.

Viva wrote:I have Netflix but I'm thinking of replacing it with love film, what do you reckon?

Try the Lovefilm free trial but persoanlly I though it was F'ing ****.
Lovefilm instant didnt have the latest titles, all new release titles were on disc only.
The user interface was w**k! Too ages to load, find stuff & when searching by film title took so long I could of downloaded the film quicker (slight exaggeration)!
I couldnt be bothered with discs, when I want to watch something I want to watch it, not wait 3 days then not be in the mood to watch it.
The Lovefilm phone app is a bigger pile of s**t than Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball. All you can do on it is change your list of films etc. Where as Netflix you can watch stuff.

Viva, watch Battlestar Galactica on Netflix, its quality!
but take the free trial by all means.

I have managed to work out that if I download films and TV series to my iPhone, I can plug it into the machines at the work gym and watch through the machines own display.

So I have just watched the first episode of the first series of Breaking Bad

Afro wrote:I have managed to work out that if I download films and TV series to my iPhone, I can plug it into the machines at the work pie shop and watch through the machines own display.

So I have just watched the first episode of the first series of Breaking Bad

 

I tell you what, if I could plug it into the machines at the Pie Shop I'd have watched every series of Breaking Bad by now

Afro wrote:So I have just watched the first episode of the first series of Breaking Bad

Good man, get on it Afro. you will enjoy it. Its a good show.

Well I enjoyed the first one so next time the pie shop is open I'll watch the next one

I watched the pilot episode, are all of them on Netflix

Yay or nay? I love them.

http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Brogue-Shoes-in-Leather/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=3415412&cid=11941&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=36&sort=-1&clr=Black+leather

I like those Viva

Afro wrote:I like those Viva

First time ever I think you've agreed with me on style. Well I've got the Afro seal of approval, I'll be getting them.  

Arsenal Napoli looks tasty.

Dortmund in danger of crashing out

Dortmund beat Napoli 1-0.
Napoli beat Arsenal 2-0.

(All beat Marseille and end on 12 points, same 3 way goal difference)

Mayhem ensues. Hope it happens

Also this rather attractive young woman came into work earlier and ordered a small chips, which was fine, but then she said "ooo I'll have a sausage with that", which prompted me to snigger as I thought of the opportunity to go "HERE'S THE JUMBO SAUSAGE BABY"

Damn you Soddy

Your sister get chips often Olly?

 

Olly wrote:Dortmund beat Napoli 1-0.
Napoli beat Arsenal 2-0.

(All beat Marseille and end on 12 points, same 3 way goal difference)

Mayhem ensues. Hope it happens

Drawing lots? Wouldn't be very 2013 now would it...