Cryptic Key Moments 2013

Carlos Spencer sees test rugby in decline. I beg to differ but we need to make a stand and stop club rugby from encroaching into test rugby. Otherwise we will head down the road of football where players deliver their best for clubs and playing well for your country is limited to a sprinkling of events that happen all too sporadically.

So to put up a case that test rugby this year has been quite compelling, I have given some cryptic highlights in test rugby this year. For example, if I wish to highlight the performance of Australia in Argentina and what that did to their confidence I could say baby horse / ouch - in stags - silver. Easy right? You got it right away. Folau Triumphs in La Plata. Too easy? Try your hand at these.

1. Sperms - Elvis - Up ? the wall - Poison - Emerald - bottom - Bungee - Tom Cruise

2. Romulus - Tasman Mediterranean - Franks - Novovirus

3. Intercourse / Jo Brand - Homesick - Red Bull

4. Orcas - Walnuts - Albion

5. Baby / Dutch province - eggs - rutting - Brixton - Birthplace of Man - at Who the f@@k is - Car

6. Otto - Submits - Coward - @ -Garden - South

7. Angles - NZ Unemployment Service - Van Diemen's - Sea levels in global warming - Cape of

8.     (not really a test moment but a recent thread)

9. Aquatic Quasimodo - Autumn - Couple - Wizard - 1966 Golden Moment - 1 / Christmas weight

10. Clives - against - early part of Sidney's career - rowing - Testicle starting with a pee: Charles Dickens opener.

If you get any of the answers right, upon confirmation feel free to make up your own. But if you're got your eyes on the Times Crossword job I've got that sewn up already!

Way too early in the morning for me to even try these. Not had nearly enough coffee and cigarettes yet.

Will be back when my mind kicks into gear (hopefully) and have a crack at these then

 if they don't make sense, then that is the very excuse I will be using. Though being cold, sleep deprived and grumpy does lend itself to allowing your mind to wander.

I blame my slowness on the mist outside, I breathed it in and it has clouded my brain

That sounds like the opening of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Hang in there Chief: McMurphy will come to the rescue.

Just trying to avoid the fact that I am not very clever and have no idea how to solve your puzzles

Clever doesn't come into it. Just slip some odourless vodka into your water bottle and you'll come down to my level.   

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:Carlos Spencer sees test rugby in decline. I beg to differ but we need to make a stand and stop club rugby from encroaching into test rugby. Otherwise we will head down the road of football where players deliver their best for clubs and playing well for your country is limited to a sprinkling of events that happen all too sporadically.

So to put up a case that test rugby this year has been quite compelling, I have given some cryptic highlights in test rugby this year. For example, if I wish to highlight the performance of Australia in Argentina and what that did to their confidence I could say baby horse / ouch - in stags - silver. Easy right? You got it right away. Folau Triumphs in La Plata. Too easy? Try your hand at these.

1. Sperms - Elvis - Up ? the wall - Poison - Emerald - bottom - Bungee - Tom Cruise

2. Romulus - Tasman Mediterranean - Franks - Novovirus

3. Intercourse / Jo Brand - Homesick - Red Bull

4. Orcas - Walnuts - Albion

5. Baby / Dutch province - eggs - rutting - Brixton - Birthplace of Man - at Who the f@@k is - Car

6. Otto - Submits - Coward - @ -Garden - South

7. Angles - NZ Unemployment Service - Van Diemen's - Sea levels in global warming - Cape of

8.     (not really a test moment but a recent thread)

9. Aquatic Quasimodo - Autumn - Couple - Wizard - 1966 Golden Moment - 1 / Christmas weight

10. Clives - against - early part of Sidney's career - rowing - Testicle starting with a pee: Charles Dickens opener.

If you get any of the answers right, upon confirmation feel free to make up your own. But if you're got your eyes on the Times Crossword job I've got that sewn up already!

Hmmm... Baby/Dutch Province is clearly New Zealand. Intercourse/Jo Brand is clearly a reference to Jonathan Sexton. After that, I give up.

You're on the right track GE. Intercourse = Sex and Jo Brand figuratively or possibly literally weighs a ton = Sexton. What do you do when you're homesick and what does Red Bull give you and you have the answer to 3.

Let's get the easy one:

Orcas - Walnuts - Albion


Orcas refers to Wales obviously. Albion is probably a reference to the British Isles in general (Sure to offend someone with that). And Walnuts are used to play Conkers right?

So Wales Conquers Britain?

Whether this is to do with Welsh representation in the Lions, or triumph in the six nations I would have to have you confirm.

I'd accept crushes as well.   Think of a 6N match GE this year where Wales did exceptionally well but you're missing an adjective derived from the synonym of another name for orca.

Chestnuts are used for conkers by the way.   

Ah! My bad. So :

Killer Wales Crushes England? (with some license taken on "albion")?

You see I was thrown off my this unhelpful youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m8FIO6KoAw because his chestnut tree happened to be next to his walnut tree. Tricky.

These are like Karl Pilkington's 'Rockbusters' clues

Lethal / Deadly Wales Crushes England. Feel free to add your own.

Cheers Cyril. Karl Pilkington is a rucking genius!   

6. Otto - Submits - Coward - @ -Garden - South

This one has to be BdP getting sent off at Eden Park.

Otto would be Otto von Bimarck, and the garden of eden is in there somewhere.

Alternately Otto might be a reference to the Ottonian dynasty of the Holy "Romain Poite" empire.

Coward is Yellow. So the yellow card.

Bismarck (du Plessis) Receives Yellow at Eden Park. (the first one was a key moment)

You're on fire GE!

Your alternative answer figures somewhere else by the way.

5. Baby / Dutch province - eggs - rutting - Brixton - Birthplace of Man - at Who the f@@k is - Car

  New Zealand  break into an over-priced progressive house club prior to beating south africa at Ellis Park.
or

New Zealand accidentally impregnate drugged club girl prior to game, south Africa at ellis park.

 NZ beats dominant South Africa at Ellis Park.

1. Wales Come Back Against Lethal Ireland But Fall Short.

That sounded a lot better in my head   at 8 in the morning.

7. Angles - NZ Unemployment Service - Van Diemen's - Sea levels in global warming - Cape of

So Angles were immigrants to the British Isles who came en-masse and then out-stayed their welcome. Sounds like the Tuilagi's to me.

NZ Unemployment service is either WINZ, so probably you mean wins.

Van Diemen's Land is of course either Australia, or a U2 song containing the lines: "The bitter pill I swallow here/.../The magistrate sent me away"

Sea levels global warming is pretty self evident and also referenced in Van Diemen's again with "And I'm gone on the rising tide".

So I'm going to say this is the one about Tuilagi jumping into Auckland harbour after England were knocked out of the 2011 RWC.

England (wins is correct but...) dashes Australia's rising hope.

Where was "dashes"?

Romulus - Tasman Mediterranean - Franks - Novovirus

Ok, so Romulus and Remus are the mythological founders of Rome. So we're talking the Italians here. Has to be Italy beating France.

So something about Able Italians seeing off the French, or making them sick or something.

Wins was right but semantically it makes sense dashes. Throw me a friggin bone it was early.   

Rome Sees French Upset.

Who said what now?

Just 8, 9, 10 to go. The atmosphere is electric with excitement at fever pitch...

  

Barney McGrew did it wrote:Who said what now?

Who's on first. What's on second...

If I get a clean sweep be sure to put in a good word next time BT is banning me...

8.   (not really a test moment but a recent thread)

Scared England like little boy with finger in the dyke?

Scared England celebrate moral victory?

Spooked England backline as effective as emoticons?

Ghost of once proud England .... erm ... nope, pretty sure that emoticon is a typo?

You'll never get 8. I'm struggling to remember it myself. You just need 9 and 10 for the clean sweep GE.   

8 was Hartley says England can take number one spot.

Jaysus GloriousEmpire, you're on fire with these. I am impressed

GloriousEmpire wrote:7. Angles - NZ Unemployment Service - Van Diemen's - Sea levels in global warming - Cape of

So Angles were immigrants to the British Isles who came en-masse and then out-stayed their welcome. Sounds like the Tuilagi's to me.

NZ Unemployment service is either WINZ, so probably you mean wins.

Van Diemen's Land is of course either Australia, or a U2 song containing the lines: "The bitter pill I swallow here/.../The magistrate sent me away"

Sea levels global warming is pretty self evident and also referenced in Van Diemen's again with "And I'm gone on the rising tide".

So I'm going to say this is the one about Tuilagi jumping into Auckland harbour after England were knocked out of the 2011 RWC.

Always thought Van Diemens land was specifically Tasmania rather than Australia.

GunsGerms wrote:

Always thought Van Diemens land was specifically Tasmania rather than Australia.

And you would be absolutely correct in that

Is aquatic quasimodo humpback whale?

GunsGerms wrote:Is aquatic quasimodo humpback whale?

Maybe something to do with North carrying Folau

GG right on both counts! Abel Tasman was the first European to discover Australia but only discovered Tasmania. His first captan got that honour because somehow he skipped the rest! The Tasman sea was named after him and New Zeeland after a Dutch province.

So Wales begins 8.

lostinwales wrote:

GunsGerms wrote:Is aquatic quasimodo humpback whale?

Maybe something to do with North carrying Folau

  but no

Wales fall to Australia (Oz)....

Keep going...

probably for the 9th time or something like that but cant work it out.

How many times have England won the football World Cup?

Once.

Wales Fall to Oz Once Again

The last one's about refs....

Clives - against - early part of Sidney's career - rowing - Testicle starting with a pee: Charles Dickens opener.

Bitter Coaches whinge about poor passes not going backwards (?) at the best of times?

Owens vs Poite or Pollock: it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Well done GE. Overwhelming winner for an underwhelming competition.    

  
Never again. To be fair I have too much practise of this trying to understand my Hungarian maid's explanation of why she couldn't do any of the things she was supposed to have done.

For example "I need pellet stockings, black circles and leaflets."

Which turns out to be chicken stock, black pepper corns and bay leaves.