What Really Annoys You About Realism in Films?

First topic message reminder :

There are certain things in films that really annoy me; mostly in action flicks, but also things which can change the laws of physics etc.

1. Hiding behind an upturned table/furniture to shield oneself from gunfire. Unless your furniture has been coated with thick kevlar, you're getting drilled behind your makeshift shelter by bits of lead passing through said table like it was butter. The same goes for hiding behind cars/car doors.

2. US backed films that don't think about how long it takes to get across our tiny little country. e.g Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. "Tonight we shall dine with my father in Nottingham". Ok Kevin. You have just landed at Dover, or at least nearby. It's a 200 mile journey. Even taking into account breaks you'd be looking at a minimum of about 50 hours. You're WALKING!! Remember the lack of roads in the Middle Ages too. And even with a horse, it would get knackered very quickly, and probably still take about 18 hours. Work it out people - do your research!!

3. Blokes being able to knock out another guy cold with one punch. Professional boxers struggle to do this to one another in the ring and they are highly trained how to punch. I just don''t believe it.

4. Cars with manual gearboxes. Need to go faster than flat out in top gear? No problem, change down. It'll make you accelerate. Really? Try it. See what happens. And no I won't pay for your gearbox/engine rebuild as your pistons shoot from your bonnet as they hit 9000rpm... Also let's not forget the 8-speed manual box at the start of The Fast & The Furious. Or the world's longest runway in Fast & Furious 6.

I know films are escapism, but I do like a little bit of realism too   

It's a walking, talking teddybear FFS.

The marksmenship of Bond henchmen, and the fact that he can deploy a parachute attached to 2 people 5 metres off the ground and be fine (Quantum of Solace).

The karatification of action scenes in all movies!

There was once a time when dark Lords of the Sith were simple sabermen who let their light sabers and supple wrists do the talking...but now, they've all had teachings from Obi Wan Lee and can't keep their skirts down for want of twisting and turning in the air gymnastically

There was even a time not so long ago in Middle Earth when Aragorn needed to get sweaty and dog tired to fight off a hoard of Orcs... but now, there is barrel ballet and again...high jump gymnastic magic all over that famous Tolkien map.

James Bond once had the most vicious realistic fight ever put on camera when Sean Connery broke up a train cabin in his fight to the death with Robert Shaw...but now secret agents kick box and choreograph their ultra non-sweat contests with such beautiful precision that I usually end up laughing - frustratedly! (hello Bourne, I'm looking at you and your famous knife fight with the guy in the room.  It maybe looked like an effort but I saw too much dance routine in it )

Less choreography and more simply mad dog, fighting-for-your-life awkward realism in the fights please.

Talking of orcs. Why are they so damn useless? They were almost scary in the Fellowship, but are laughable idiots in desolation Of Smaug. I thought stormtroopers were bad!

Stella wrote:They were almost scary in the Fellowship, but are laughable idiots in desolation Of Smaug. I thought stormtroopers were bad!

Hmmm...there are a lot of laughable idiots in Desolation of Smaug - and not just orcs.  
The eternally depressed suicidal Thorin. Who would ever realistically dream of going on an grand adventure with that unhinged nut-job?  
And then of course the Shakespearian trained Thesbian - Smaug himself, who never let's a good battle get in the way of a longer soliloquy.  
James Nesbitt - Ha! Ha!  Hee! Hee! Tis me!  Sure amn't I funny just to look at me cheeky grin?!.
The idiots on the wolves who are never in the right place at the right time but always just seconds away from killing everyone anyway - IF they were in the right place at the right time...which they never are.  I suggest wrist watches for all.

The only guy who feels real is old crafty Balin.  Balin is the new Aragorn.

The river escape was embarrassing. Was like a kids computer game.

I enjoy them for what they are..the recent Rings movies.... but they're very much in the same vein as the Star Wars three modern duds - miles away from the feel, the mood and beauty of the original three.

Used to love watching Bond chop a bad guy on the collar bone and have it render him unconscious. In real life, they'd say "What you doin' you d!ck?" turn around and shoot him in the stomach

Cliffhanger was on recently and in the opening scene this broad is hanging from a zipline by a strap which is just about to break. Sly Stallone is above her and despite his best efforts to grab her he can only reach far enough to barely graze her fingertips with his. Then the strap breaks and she manages to grab his arm at the elbow!

So?

Someone must have given her a leg up from beneath her. It can happen when you're about to fall to your death into a deep deep ravine. Miracles like that can happen.

She dies anyway.

Skyfall.

Silva purposefully getting caught, so he could then escape at exactly the right time, to then attempt to kill M.

Yes, that was a rather convoluted Evil plan............ I'm glad he predicted every move by his jailers in advance. But that's what superbrains think about

And the train coming through the underground at the exact time Bond was there, so Silva could TRY and kill him.

Was actually really disappointed with Skyfall. A girl from work went to see it, and said it was brilliant blah blah blah. The reviews were also good, so was expecting a great Bond film, but it was just good.

My favourite Skyfall moment was towards the end, out on them rascal moors with the fog and things.

Bond has the flashlight.  Up close he's using it wisely and only checking to see he's placing his feet in the right places so that he doesn't fall over himself - very embarrassing for the world's best spy.

But in long shot..... the flashlight swings wildly from left to right like a lighthouse in a stormy sea.

And again when he enters the little cottage.  Distant shot of the flashlight going absolutely ape-schit in the little house, swinging wildly everywhere.  The I'M OVER HERE moments of absolute GoldFlash

Also in Cliffhanger, Sly lifts a guy over his head and impales him on a stalagtite!!!!

What a jolly romp that film was!

The ending was a bit like Home Alone meets the A-Team.

Funny that we have people criticizing the realism in Stallone films. Anyway....

People finding parking spaces in London...really?

Car chases on city streets that aren't just 20 minutes of people screaming "Oh, for f*ck's sake, we're going nowhere fast."

Men being kicked in the nads then getting up and running after whoever did it as opposed to lying down in a darkened room for three weeks with a bag of frozen peas over the affected area.

Emotional death bed scenes that don't have the ever so disturbing bit when the corpse's bumhole lets go and the recently bereaved wrinkle their noses in disgust.

Anything to do with some f*cker getting a decent mobile phone signal.

I'm sure there's many from this film, but in XXX the heat seeking missile going after the guy who lit up his cigarette.

There aren't a lot of them, but I'm not sure I've seen a tennis or cricket movie where the players look like they may at some point have played the sport before the scene was acted out

Have there been many cricket movies Raf? Outside of the "Bodyline" tv series, I'm struggling to think of anything....which surprises me what with cricket being a rip roaring 100 mile an hour seat of your pants hold onto your hats kids this could scary rollercoaster ride of unimaginable thrills and spills

Tom Cruise is "The Cricketer" -You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll watch it rain for three days.

The action parts in most well all Football films is mostly crap. Even in Goal, which is relatively new. Boxing films like Rocky are a lot more realistic

Nice topic.

I hate low budget CGI effects, it immediately puts me off.

I hate movies that are shorter than 100 minutes, why pay for something a little longer than a regular episode of you favourite TV series.

Hate moves where the bloke never runs out of bullets.

Hate movies where the guy never misses with a gun, it is almost as bad as a guy that can't hit a barn door from point blank range.

I hate movies where you are kidnapped find a way to knock the kidnapper out and then try to escape before you make sure the guy is out cold, dead are tied down

I hate horror movies as they play off in the dark and I can't see shyte. How am I supposed to get scared if I can't see a thing?

I hate horror movies because the victim always run toward the danger.

I can't watch any movie where the main character is a drug addict and his path to self destruction is obvious.

I hate Tom Cruise movies as he is his own biggest hero.

I hate unrealistic stunts that defies the laws of gravity and scientific theories

You hate movies?

DAVE667 wrote:Have there been many cricket movies Raf? Outside of the "Bodyline" tv series, I'm struggling to think of anything....which surprises me what with cricket being a rip roaring 100 mile an hour seat of your pants hold onto your hats kids this could scary rollercoaster ride of unimaginable thrills and spills

Tom Cruise is "The Cricketer" -You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll watch it rain for three days.

There was a British serial killer movie based on cricket Dave, I thought it would be right up your alley? Anyway, I watched another one recently, name escapes me, about an immigrant from the Windies. Anyway there's a particular scene where the protagonist is having a nightmare about facing a particularly terrifying fast bowler. Instead of sympathising with his fears, all I'm thinking is "How has this guy not torn every muscle in his shoulder bowling like that"

kingraf wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Have there been many cricket movies Raf? Outside of the "Bodyline" tv series, I'm struggling to think of anything....which surprises me what with cricket being a rip roaring 100 mile an hour seat of your pants hold onto your hats kids this could scary rollercoaster ride of unimaginable thrills and spills

Tom Cruise is "The Cricketer" -You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll watch it rain for three days.

There was a British serial killer movie based on cricket Dave, I thought it would be right up your alley? Anyway, I watched another one recently, name escapes me, about an immigrant from the Windies. Anyway there's a particular scene where the protagonist is having a nightmare about facing a particularly terrifying fast bowler. Instead of sympathising with his fears, all I'm thinking is "How has this guy not torn every muscle in his shoulder bowling like that"

Wondrous Oblivion?

Stella wrote:

kingraf wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Have there been many cricket movies Raf? Outside of the "Bodyline" tv series, I'm struggling to think of anything....which surprises me what with cricket being a rip roaring 100 mile an hour seat of your pants hold onto your hats kids this could scary rollercoaster ride of unimaginable thrills and spills

Tom Cruise is "The Cricketer" -You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll watch it rain for three days.

There was a British serial killer movie based on cricket Dave, I thought it would be right up your alley? Anyway, I watched another one recently, name escapes me, about an immigrant from the Windies. Anyway there's a particular scene where the protagonist is having a nightmare about facing a particularly terrifying fast bowler. Instead of sympathising with his fears, all I'm thinking is "How has this guy not torn every muscle in his shoulder bowling like that"

Wondrous Oblivion?

That's the one!! Cheers Artois.

SecretFly wrote:You hate movies?

I love movies, I watch about two new movies every week, but only the quality ones

If you only watch the quality ones then I doubt you watch two new movies a week...unless of course your definition of quality differs from mine. Most of the new movies are clichéd bullsh!t

SecretFly wrote:

There was even a time not so long ago in Middle Earth when Aragorn needed to get sweaty and dog tired to fight off a hoard of Orcs... but now, there is barrel ballet and again...high jump gymnastic magic all over that famous Tolkien map.

Couldn't agree more, I mean, WTF is up with Legolas having to use every enemy he kills as a skateboard? Real head-scratching moment... Not a fan of these Hobbit films. They're a bit over the top and kind of like a broken record on repeat if you've seen LOTR trilogy. I think this is the result of Jackson steering away from the books and doing his own thing.

I think Michael Bay has all his movie action scenes done in slow motion to make them seem more real. It doesn't work, and just makes all his films more crap than they already were.