Another Drive4show 'Anything goes' thread

by McLaren Sat 14 Jun - 7:08

First topic message reminder :

Not had that much fun watching football for a while.

Robben taken the p*1ss out the spanish keeper and central defenders was literally hilarious.

by kwinigolfer Thu 14 Aug - 23:44

I'll be thrilled if Lallana gets to play, Digs, but just don't know who he's going to replace.

Don't understand the Suarez ruling; he's reportedly allowed to play friendlies for Uruguay but not play for Barcelona. I'd've just suspended him from World Cup play, qualies etc, for four years, let him play club football.
Seems arse-backward to me.

by **navyblueshorts** Thu 14 Aug - 23:55

It is arse-backwards but this is FIFA....

by pedro Fri 15 Aug - 0:15

Sir Cliff the new Saville?

by super_realist Fri 15 Aug - 0:17

Paedo-Lottery.

Who's next to get their collar felt?

by kwinigolfer Fri 15 Aug - 0:33

David Cameron?

by super_realist Fri 15 Aug - 0:39

Mmm, not sure about that, wouldn't be surprised if there was a politician somewhere getting a little bit uncomfortable though.

by pedro Fri 15 Aug - 5:09

We sometimes make fun of the head shots on PgaTour.com. We're not the only ones:

https://t.co/4SBIM7SHmc

by super_realist Fri 15 Aug - 5:41

pedro wrote:We sometimes make fun of the head shots on PgaTour.com. We're not the only ones:

https://t.co/4SBIM7SHmc

The American's certainly know how to drag out a very poor joke.

by **navyblueshorts** Fri 15 Aug - 5:56

super_realist wrote:
pedro wrote:We sometimes make fun of the head shots on PgaTour.com. We're not the only ones:

https://t.co/4SBIM7SHmc

The American's certainly know how to drag out a very poor joke.

Oh I don't know. A bit daft but I thought it was quite funny.

Talking of funny, but not funny 'ha ha', Mysti(?) will be pleased with this news:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/28797071

by **navyblueshorts** Fri 15 Aug - 5:59

Now, this is funny, admittedly in a childish sort of way:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-28783990

by McLaren Fri 15 Aug - 7:57

Could the "Port of Berkhamsted" become a euphemism?

Ie, dock at your.....

by pedro Fri 15 Aug - 19:43

Is it near Exmouth?

by Roller_Coaster Fri 15 Aug - 23:15

I went to Exmouth.

She slapped me.

drumroll

by McLaren Sun 17 Aug - 0:00

Carrick needs to get fit soon. Crying or Very sad

by kwinigolfer Sun 17 Aug - 0:18

Time for a managerial change, Mac.
David Moyes is available.
August 2013: Swans 1 vs Man Utd 4
Aug 2014: Man Utd 1 vs Swansea 2

Not going to get much better when Nani is one of your options.

by pedro Sun 17 Aug - 19:04

Van Gaal for sure is a better choice than Moyes ever was. Should he fail though I wouldn't be surprised to see SAF taking over again...

by incontinentia Tue 19 Aug - 17:37

Top 10 funniest jokes at the Edinburgh Fringe

1st: "I've decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust."

2nd place: "I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set."

3rd: "Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief."

4th: "I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s."

5th: "I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me"

6th: "Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal"

7th: "Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying"

=8th: "I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame 'cause halfway through he disappears up his own a***hole"

=8th: "I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven"

10th: "This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it"

by **navyblueshorts** Tue 19 Aug - 18:52

See Tim Vine won again. He seems to be quite good at the one-liners. Liked his gag from a couple of years back:

"Conjuctivitis.com...........that's a site for sore eyes"

by MustPuttBetter Tue 19 Aug - 19:08

The best one ever was 'Hedgehogs, why can't they just share a hedge?'

Of the 10 above, the top two aside, the rest are poor

by incontinentia Tue 19 Aug - 19:50

Yeah a lot are rubbish tbh.

by **navyblueshorts** Tue 19 Aug - 21:34

Rubbish? Don't think that's a fair comment. Maybe some are better than others but 'rubbish'? Nah. I quite like 1, 3, 4, 6 and 10 of those above. Personally, I think #10 is up there with Vine's winning line.
Pretty personal stuff, humour, so there'll be little agreement on this sort of thing.

by super_realist Tue 19 Aug - 21:37

I don't get the second tied 8th one. Is it even a joke?

by incontinentia Tue 19 Aug - 22:20

I think they're pretty weak navy, not much wit. Your conjuctivitis one is very good, Jimmy Carr has some great ones.

One of my faves is "I watched this documentary on how ships are held together the other night...riveting!"

by Roller_Coaster Tue 19 Aug - 22:43

1, 2, 3, 6, 10 I like and as Navy alludes it is very subjective. I really like Vine and Milton Jones but the fast paced, stack them up nature of the one liners and puns invariably means they are hit and miss. Especially if you don't get one until you think about it you could be a few more gags down the line.

by super_realist Tue 19 Aug - 23:05

I find Milton Jones a bit annoying because he needs an irritating "character" to do his standup.
Some funny stuff, but getting a bit over-cooked in terms of exposure.

Comedians have a pretty short shelf life these days as they're everywhere.

by westisbest Wed 20 Aug - 5:00

Funniest ones for me are.

Bridges
Dee
Amos
McIntyre

by incontinentia Wed 20 Aug - 22:04

Have any of you chaps done the ice bucket challenge? seems to be all the rage

by super_realist Wed 20 Aug - 22:20

No. Not sure why it's called a "challenge". Not very challenging unless you have no arms.

by McLaren Wed 20 Aug - 22:24

I thought this was pretty funny.

15 overrated white folks.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marc-lamont-hill/15-overrated-overrated-white-people_b_1948679.html

by SmithersJones Wed 20 Aug - 22:26

Ice bucket challenge? Emptying the contents of a bottle being cooled in an ice bucket down one's throat over a nice lunch?

by super_realist Wed 20 Aug - 22:32

McLaren wrote:I thought this was pretty funny.

15 overrated white folks.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marc-lamont-hill/15-overrated-overrated-white-people_b_1948679.html

Who calls people "folks"?

by SmithersJones Wed 20 Aug - 22:36

People who aren't 'white folks'. And who don't realise that 'folk' is already plural.

by incontinentia Wed 20 Aug - 22:37

Prince Harry is cool

by super_realist Wed 20 Aug - 22:43

Mac,
Have you got the link to the "Most Over-rated Black Folks" site?

by Diggers Wed 20 Aug - 22:43

I wonder if it would be allowed to do one about black folks?
Id start with Nelson Mandela.

by super_realist Wed 20 Aug - 22:47

Good call Diggers, the sycophancy that surrounds him is nauseating.

Jay-zed would be another.

by **navyblueshorts** Wed 20 Aug - 23:57

McLaren wrote:I thought this was pretty funny.

15 overrated white folks.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marc-lamont-hill/15-overrated-overrated-white-people_b_1948679.html

Funny?? Seriously? Apparently, you can't see the inherent racism exemplified by this even though you bang on and on and on and on and on about racism. The majority comments, from black and white, which follow the article are all that needs to be said. The writer's a certified moron.
I wonder what your finding this funny says about you Mac?

Diggers wrote:I wonder if it would be allowed to do one about black folks?
Id start with Nelson Mandela.

The trouble with this sort of approach (and it affects the racist pig whom Mac seems to think is so funny as well) is that the targets of the snide character assassinations are, almost certainly, not responsible if/when the media become all sycophantic over them. Target the media who create the myths by all means.
Personally, I'm not sure you're right re. Mandela in any case. If he's over-rated, which black people would you say live up to the hype?

by McLaren Thu 21 Aug - 0:41

Navy

This "racist" manages to give reasoned and logical reasons for placing each person on the list without resorting to any racist claims.

by **navyblueshorts** Thu 21 Aug - 0:53

Oh dear. As some in the comments section point out, if some white academic wrote a list of the most over-rated black people, the idiot who penned that article (and your good self) would be up in arms.
In any case, his 'reasoned and logical reasons' are in the main, simply his opinion on those he's trashed.

It's a scheiss article that does nothing except stir up the racial divide. The writer's a moron.

by Diggers Thu 21 Aug - 0:55

navyblueshorts wrote:
McLaren wrote:I thought this was pretty funny.

15 overrated white folks.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marc-lamont-hill/15-overrated-overrated-white-people_b_1948679.html
Funny?? Seriously? Apparently, you can't see the inherent racism exemplified by this even though you bang on and on and on and on and on about racism. The majority comments, from black and white, which follow the article are all that needs to be said. The writer's a certified moron.
I wonder what your finding this funny says about you Mac?

Diggers wrote:I wonder if it would be allowed to do one about black folks?
Id start with Nelson Mandela.
The trouble with this sort of approach (and it affects the racist pig whom Mac seems to think is so funny as well) is that the targets of the snide character assassinations are, almost certainly, not responsible if/when the media become all sycophantic over them. Target the media who create the myths by all means.
Personally, I'm not sure you're right re. Mandela in any case. If he's over-rated, which black people would you say live up to the hype?

Id say the ones who live up to the hype are the unheralded charity workers or volunteers. Not someone being the right person in the right place at the right time and apparently having an aura.

by GunsGerms Thu 21 Aug - 1:12

Agree with most of them to be honest. The royal family in particular is fairly pointless and outdated and it is time Shakespere was removed from the cirriculum. It serves no purpose learning Macbeth quotes when you are 17.

Disagree re Sarah Palin, surely no one rates her at all?

by **navyblueshorts** Thu 21 Aug - 1:17

Diggers wrote:Id say the ones who live up to the hype are the unheralded charity workers or volunteers. Not someone being the right person in the right place at the right time and apparently having an aura.

We all know there are loads of people who don't get the credit they deserve. Still think you're a bit hard on Mandela but there we go.

by Diggers Thu 21 Aug - 1:34

I've not really said anything about him bar that he's somewhat built up to be more than he is, which isn't hard as he's held in god like esteem. When you look at what he's achieved its more through suffering (which many have) than any massive political talent that I can see.
There have been a lot of unpleasant repercussions since the rainbow nation was formed but heaven forbid Mandela would receive even the slightest dissent.
Great guy, a real icon, just not the deity that we seem to have to say he is. Plus his missus was a pretty nasty piece of work.

by **navyblueshorts** Thu 21 Aug - 1:44

Diggers wrote:...Plus his missus was a pretty nasty piece of work.

Don't disagree with you there although I'm not sure you can blame that on the man himself.

by pedro Thu 21 Aug - 2:05

I would put Obama on the overrated list as well. (Dont know if it's the white or black though.)

Woods used to live up to the hype, but it's loooooong ago.

by super_realist Thu 21 Aug - 2:11

Is there anyone in the public consciousness who isn't over-rated?

Anyone under-rated?

by Diggers Thu 21 Aug - 2:21

I actually think some UK politicians are under rated. They are all tarred with the same self interested brush whilst I believe a lot of them genuinely just give a toss and want to change things.
Id say Blair is under rated (controversial I know)in many ways but is ultimately defined by Iraq which now makes him the antichrist.
Whereas say Churchill can be apparently forgiven huge mistakes but is an icon for being PM when we won WW2.
Also though it pains me to admit it as he's a Tory, Seb Coe deserves all the hype. Superb athlete and massive achievement putting together a superb Olympics. Even has a sense of humour and is pretty humble, bar the Tory part I can think of a single bad word to say about him.

by **navyblueshorts** Thu 21 Aug - 17:47

Diggers wrote:I actually think some UK politicians are under rated. They are all tarred with the same self interested brush whilst I believe a lot of them genuinely just give a toss and want to change things.
Id say Blair is under rated (controversial I know)in many ways but is ultimately defined by Iraq which now makes him the antichrist.
Whereas say Churchill can be apparently forgiven huge mistakes but is an icon for being PM when we won WW2.
Also though it pains me to admit it as he's a Tory, Seb Coe deserves all the hype. Superb athlete and massive achievement putting together a superb Olympics. Even has a sense of humour and is pretty humble, bar the Tory part I can think of a single bad word to say about him.

It's funny how people see the same things in different ways. I think Blair is a pig - hugely over-rated and, due to Iraq, a war criminal. Churchill made mistakes, as do most people, but as a politician (he was one of the few to realise what was coming in '39 and he was more than just 'happened to be PM when we won WW2') he was more than a little impressive, to say the least. Seb Coe is getting better with age although I think use of the word 'humble' where he's concerned is quite amusing - he's about as arrogant as it's possible to be although he is tempering is these days. Certainly a superb athlete and, obviously, the Olympics was all down to him(!) and no-one else although he did make a couple of good speeches during it.

by Diggers Thu 21 Aug - 20:55

Seem to remember you getting upset about people convicting Saville without a trial Navy, you seem happy enough to do it to Blair though?
Not that I think you are wrong, but the again Id call the Japan A bombings war crimes, the UK gave complete support to those attacks pushed by Churchill.

by **navyblueshorts** Thu 21 Aug - 21:26

Diggers wrote:Seem to remember you getting upset about people convicting Saville without a trial Navy, you seem happy enough to do it to Blair though?
Not that I think you are wrong, but the again Id call the Japan A bombings war crimes, the UK gave complete support to those attacks pushed by Churchill.

Savile and Blair aren't really comparable are they but I take your point. I wouldn't suggest Blair goes to jail w/o passing 'Go' having not been tried. Get him in front of the Hague. More than happy to see that happen!
The A-bombs aren't really a good example are they? They were w/o precedent and the research was so secret even Tibbets(sp?), the Enola Gay's pilot, didn't know what they were dropping. Even Leonard Cheshire, on the Enola Gay (I think) as an observer, was taken aback by the actual explosion. The fact they've never been used aggressively since suggests people reassessed their impact post-WW2. I can see the point but I more than see the point of the U.S. who, basically, said "Why should we lose hundreds of thousands of men taking all the Japanese islands and their mainland in conventional fashion when we can simply drop some game-changing bombs?". If they'd invaded conventionally, the same (almost certainly more) Japanese would have died and, in addition, you'd have huge numbers of allied troops dying as well.
In addition, you're taking the 1945 situation out of context. You can't look back through today's lens and say such-and-such is a war crime. The rules have changed and I don't think it's easy to put oneself in the position of those that had had to put up with ~6 years of total war from back then. In addition, Japan's and Nazi Germany's war had levels of barbarism not commonly seen before or on such scale during conventional warfare.

by Sponsored content