Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread IV

[George Carlin]

First topic message reminder :

Historical Banter:

https://www.606v2.com/t48240-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread
https://www.606v2.com/t51313-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-ii
https://www.606v2.com/t53119-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iii

A new thread for the 2014/5 season.

A. Edinburgh Rugby


1. Coaching Team

Alan Solomons - head coach
Stevie Scott -  assistant coach
Omar Mouneimne - assistant coach

2. Players In

Neil Cochrane from London Wasps
John Andress from Worcester Warriors
Rory Sutherland from Gala RFC
Tom Heathcote from Bath Rugby
Michael Tait from Newcastle Falcons
Fraser McKenzie from Newcastle Falcons
Phil Burleigh from the Highlanders
Anton Bresler from the Sharks
Brett Thompson from USA 7s

3. Players Out

Steven Lawrie retired
Alun Walker released
Alex Allan to Glasgow Warriors
Geoff Cross to London Irish
Lewis Niven released
Sean Cox to London Irish
Robert McAlpine released
Perry Parker to Rotherham Titans
Izak van der Westhuizen released
Ross Rennie to Bristol Rugby
Dimitri Basilaia released
Alex Black released
Greig Laidlaw to Gloucester Rugby
Chris Leck released
Piers Francis released
Gregor Hunter released
Harry Leonard to Leeds Carnegie
Ben Atiga retired
Ben Cairns retired
Nick De Luca to Biarritz Olympique
Lee Jones released
Aleki Lutui to Gloucester Rugby

4. Pre-season Fixtures

Leicester Tigers v Edinburgh
Saturday 23 August, 14:00
Welford Road

Edinburgh v Newcastle Falcons
Friday 29 August, 19:45
Mansfield Park, Hawick

B. Glasgow Warriors


1. Coaching Team

Gregor Townsend – Head Coach
Shade Munro – Forwards Coach
Matt Taylor – Defence Coach

2. Players In

Alex Allan from Edinburgh
Murray McConnell from Ayr RFC
Euan Murray from Worcester Warriors
James Downey from Munster
Rossouw de Klerk from the Cheetahs

3. Players Out

Moray Low to Exeter Chiefs
Chris Cusiter to Sale Sharks
Ruaridh Jackson to London Wasps
Ed Kalman retired
Byron McGuigan released
Finlay Gillies released
Scott Wight to Melrose RFC
Gabriel Ascárate released
Folau Niua released
Carlin Isles to USA 7s

4. Pre-season Fixtures

Glasgow Warriors v Harlequins
Saturday 23 August, 14:30
Scotstoun Stadium

London Scottish v Glasgow Warriors
Saturday 30 August, 15:00
Richmond Athletic Ground

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Jimbo, snifter in Ts oop The Byres perhaps ? That is if you get through the very strict border controls between Ayrshire and The WE of Glasgow (and of course transit through Paisley and survive!!!) !?

[jimbopip]

I've just seen the Glasgow players who are aligned with the DT's clubs. Interesting to see the Mighty Coo still listed. Hopefully this augurs well for a return to full action.
Snifters in Ts sound awfie jollie.

[IanBru]

Jim and Schitz, you up for a bevy? Anyone else around?

[jimbopip]

If our new sponsors insist on their product name on the jerseys will IanBru become insufferably smug or just become even more of a megalomaniac?
p.s. Bru pmed you re Saturday.

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Yes Young Bru - 1 ish in Ts, down Byres Way.

Any London chaps travelling ?

[RDW]

Right, this is usually one of the few places I can come without getting the referendum shoved down my throat.

Keep it to rugby (or general nonsensical banter).

Thank you!

[justified sinner]

Seems like good news on the financial front at least, although bear in mind the jump in revenues is not as significant as the press releases might claim - there's been a change of year end so we're looking at 13 months vs 12 so revenue is still up on a like for like basis, but not as much.

It would be interesting to see a breakdown within the "Other Income" line, given this is what has driven the increased revenue. Guessing it must be the likes of sponsorship, food & drink sales etc.

I think the other thing that is included in 'Other Income' will be Murrayfield being used for other events, One Direction, suites being hired for corporate events, etc. It all keeps the pennies rolling in and seems to being worked better under Dodson.

[funnyExiledScot]

The accounts are starting to look more promising, but there has yet to be any tangible signs of improvement at international level in terms of performance. Much has been achieved behind the scenes, but whilst we still have Scott Johnson as our Director of Rugby I just can't believe that the rugby side of things is in the best possible hands.

Edinburgh have just re-signed Ben Atiga. That should be added as a footnote to the accounts, just to quell any misplaced optimism.

[tigertattie]

Why did we re-sign him?

He's mince! He prefers eating mince to playing rugby!

[funnyExiledScot]

Apparently he's popular within the squad, and can pass on his experience to the youngsters like Chris Dean and Chris Auld.

There are some clear pitfalls when attempting to tackle an "eat as much as you can" buffet, and you cannot afford youngsters to make rookie errors such as loading up on bread rolls, taking too much rice or eating the crusts of pizzas. Atiga will be able to provide valuable pointers.

He's also, I'm assured, an excellent communicator and leader within the backline. Again, this will be invaluable. It takes a special brand of confidence to shout "you tackle him", or "sorry, I don't have the pace to get there, would you mind covering". Where would we be without that nous.

Then there's his positional sense. He's very shrewd at staying on the ground for a minute or so after making a tackle. I think this is a sort of stealth technique, so that if the play reaches that exact point he can haul himself up off the ground and ambush the opposition. Nevermind that the play will have progressed up the pitch into the Edinburgh 22, I think too many players hurry back into the defensive formation without giving due regard to this ambush technique, and Atiga has it down to a fine art.

Can you imagine how Steve Hansen is taking this news?? "Good God, I have to make do with Israel Dagg and Ben Smith, when I could have former Junior World Player of the Year and reigning Foods of the World Buffet Champion in my ranks. I'll have to teach Dagg the ambush technique myself, and those invaluable communication skills. Jeez, perhaps I should revisit our whole policy of not picking Kiwis abroad.....".

[George Carlin]

 but similarly, oh come on. I am willing to see the drinking receptacle as half full.

We are in the black. Let's applaud that. I am happy that we seem to have found sponsorship avenues where a reasonable amount of cash will flow down. On a biomolecular level, it's not possible for me to be less interested in the todger comparison exercise taking place on other threads where other 'fans' bang on about how much more their stadium name is worth.

I could not give a poop. I'll cry all the way to the bank with my £20m.

Cotter is in place. Let's see how we go in the AIs before any more hand wringing or hairshirt wearing leaches onto these boards.

The big concern for me is still Edinburgh. Signing Heathcote, Bresler and Hurley is commendable business and will increase Edinburgh's chances of doing something crazy, like winning a game or two this season. However, as our fave resident Babydaddy FES pointed out on the other thread, to have 8 or 9 of a starting 15 being NSQ really does indicate a problem with how Solomons regards local talent.

Nobody will deny that signing Atiga again is genuinely a dreadful lack of ambition. I would so much rather give young Chris Dean or Nick McLennan the gametime. Why wouldn't we? How bad is Ben Cairns' leg really?

[jimbopip]

FES   You know Atiga makes the sainted Dan Parks look positively dynamic.
Anyhoo I've just purchased my ticket for Saturday: North Stand Massive here I come. 
I'm hoping the Toonster picks a fairly strong XV, I expect Downey to start possibly possibly Rory Hughes or Horne Furra Linee beside him. Strangely enough we seem to have a lot of 12's (Russell, Dunbar, Downey, Horne,Weir-even) but apart from   and Richie Vee there's no-one screaming for the 13 jersey. Oh wait we have the Schlong. No worries then. I have the sneaky feeling that it wont be too long before someone puts an arm around Fozzie's shoulders and says , " See what Richie Vernon's done...."

[George Carlin]

FES   You know Atiga makes the sainted Dan Parks look positively dynamic.
Anyhoo I've just purchased my ticket for Saturday: North Stand Massive here I come. 
I'm hoping the Toonster picks a fairly strong XV, I expect Downey to start possibly possibly Rory Hughes or Horne Furra Linee beside him. Strangely enough we seem to have a lot of 12's (Russell, Dunbar, Downey, Horne,Weir-even) but apart from   and Richie Vee there's no-one screaming for the 13 jersey. Oh wait we have the Schlong. No worries then. I have the sneaky feeling that it wont be too long before someone puts an arm around Fozzie's shoulders and says , " See what Richie Vernon's done...."

Don't forget Mr Attitude Problem and DTH can also fill in there.

Fundementally, though, if you've got Mark of Nazereth, whom else do you need?

[jimbopip]

I thought Mr AP was a world class no10. Is he a great 13 as well? Michty me, as Bill McClaren might say.
DTH is a scoring machine on the wing why move him?
No the Blessed one is first choice and Richie Vee second but that still leaves us a bit light IMHO.

[RDW]

I see that Lee Jones has signed a 1 year deal with Glasgow but will also play 7s.

Suspect he'll play more 7s than 15s!

[funnyExiledScot]

Glasgow are loaded with decent centres at 12 and 13. Remember Dunbar is adept at both 12 and 13 (he's played plenty international rugby already at 13), Bennett is a specialist, and DTH has regularly played 13 at international level. As you also add, Lamont and Hogg cover there if required as well, then there's Richie "the new Jonah Lomu" Vernon to contend with.

Dunbar at 12 and Bennett at 13 would probably be my first choice pairing, but if it's a fast track you could have Horne at 12 for his distribution skills to get the ball wide or if it's a monsoon you could opt for the hard nosed experience of Downey at 12 instead, with Dunbar, Vernon or Sean Lamont as more robust options at 13. You actually have a really nice and varied selection of options depending on the considitions and the opposition.

Keep Hogg at 15 though. I know his attitude is largely responsible for the conflict in Gaza, the Ebola virus and the SNP, but he really is quite useful at fullback.

[RuggerRadge2611]

Back from another extended time away. What have I missed?

[RDW]

Back from another extended time away. What have I missed?

Biggest news (literally) from and Edinburgh PoV:

Ben Atiga is back.

[RuggerRadge2611]

Back from another extended time away. What have I missed?

Biggest news (literally) from and Edinburgh PoV:

Ben Atiga is back.

Well that's great news, coupled with Matt Scott being out till December   

[RDW]

Back from another extended time away. What have I missed?

Biggest news (literally) from and Edinburgh PoV:

Ben Atiga is back.

Well that's great news, coupled with Matt Scott being out till December   

Yep. Edinburgh really need all players available from the start to try to make a decent fist of this season. With Scott and Denton out and Bresler and Hurly coming in late, we're handicapped at the start of the season again.

Oh well, maybe next year..

[George Carlin]

Back from another extended time away. What have I missed?

01. FES is about to be a dad. He is nervous that the family sarcasm will be passed on in the genes.
02. Schiz claims to have recently "scaled Mount Erebus in the Caucusus", which surely is code for something unsanitary/filthy/illegal.
03. Tattie hates the Edinburgh bypass.
04. Maj thinks that Fraser Brown might be the next   
05. BigGee seems to know a worrying amount about hookers.   
06. GLove is p!ssed that nobody seems to want to play rugby in Aberdeen any more.
07. RDW has banned political discussions on these boards.
08. VinceWLB has sailed dangerously close to being a Ben Atiga Apologist.
09. Jimbopip likes a good Otter Ale (again, we suspect that this is code for something).
10. Asbo has not mentioned Exeter Chiefs once on this thread, so we are all becoming slightly worried.
11. EWT Spoons has been his happy, go-lucky self.
12. IanBru has a mate who plays for Quins and will gladly direct any Glasgow fans at the upcoming game as to precisely whom they should throw their empty bottles of Buckie at.
13. Highland_Scot has been all highlandish and Scottish.
14. Justfied_Sinner has done nothing to demonstrate he has recently been sinning justifiably.
15. I remain a happy, handsome hero. But modest, likesay.

[funnyExiledScot]

Back from another extended time away. What have I missed?

01. FES is about to be a dad. He is nervous that the family sarcasm will will not be passed on in the genes.

Fixed   

[RDW]

Back from another extended time away. What have I missed?

01. FES is about to be a dad. He is nervous that the family sarcasm will will not be passed on in the genes.

Fixed   

Any news yet?

You'll be glad to hear that the Daily Record are streaming Edinburgh's game live on their website on Saturday, so even if Mrs FES goes into labour you just need to request a laptop in the birthing room (or whatever the hell you call it) and you won't miss the game at all!

[funnyExiledScot]

No news. I've told Mrs fES that a weekend birth would not be ideal, for armchair sporting reasons primarily. If she wants to go into labour on Monday morning on the other hand, that would work.....

[RDW]

My dad was best man at a wedding when Scotland won the 1990 Grand Slam, and he keeps banging on about missing it.

Just think - when your kid is 24 you might be banging on about the day you missed Edinburgh V Leicester in a pre-season friendly!

[George Carlin]

It'll be like that scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams' (RIP) character missed seeing the famous Red Sox World Series win because he decided to have a drink with his future wife instead.

Except with FES' version involving missing Ben Atiga scoring a try and WP Nel not actually playing.

[funnyExiledScot]

My dad was best man at a wedding when Scotland won the 1990 Grand Slam, and he keeps banging on about missing it.

Just think - when your kid is 24 you might be banging on about the day you missed Edinburgh V Leicester in a pre-season friendly!

Equally likely I'll be telling her that I missed her birth whilst on the hunt for a laptop in the Royal Infirmary so I could watch Edinburgh vs Leicester in a pre-season friendly!!

Can't believe your Dad missed that game. Let's be quite honest, if Scotland were to feature in a Grand Slam decider these days, there is no possible event short of my own death that would stop me watching the game! We know that you'd probably have to wait another 20 years for such an occasion to happen again!

[jimbopip]

, there is no possible event short of my own death that would stop me watching the game! We know that you'd probably have to wait another 20 years for such an occasion to happen again![/quote]
FES dies every twenty years? Is this code for something insanitary/immoral/vampirish?

[jimbopip]

[quote="George Carlin"][quote="RuggerRadge2611"]08. VinceWLB has sailed dangerously close to being a Ben Atiga Apologist.
09. Jimbopip likes a good Otter Ale (again, we suspect that this is code for something).

Unless you have enjoyed tasting a good Otter Ale while drunken Execeterr fans are queuing up to stroke your sporran and then compare its smoothness with ASBO's full bushy then you haven't live George, you just haven't lived.

[funnyExiledScot]

Can the Mods please teach Jimbo how to use the quotation function???

[RDW]

Can the Mods please teach Jimbo how to use the quotation function???

I've tried FES, many times!

[jimbopip]

Can the Mods please teach Jimbo how to use the quotation function???

I've tried FES, many times!

See it's really easy. However, my way does make reading more of an adventure and opens up many more levels of understanding and ambiguity. GC has asked me to start drafting contracts so he can then charge people for explaining them.

[BigGee]

My dad was best man at a wedding when Scotland won the 1990 Grand Slam, and he keeps banging on about missing it.

Just think - when your kid is 24 you might be banging on about the day you missed Edinburgh V Leicester in a pre-season friendly!

Equally likely I'll be telling her that I missed her birth whilst on the hunt for a laptop in the Royal Infirmary so I could watch Edinburgh vs Leicester in a pre-season friendly!!

Can't believe your Dad missed that game. Let's be quite honest, if Scotland were to feature in a Grand Slam decider these days, there is no possible event short of my own death that would stop me watching the game! We know that you'd probably have to wait another 20 years for such an occasion to happen again!

24 years and counting! I was there and remember telling people after the event that I could die happy now. Even at the time I think most of us realised that it might be a long long time before we saw a Scotland team like that again, England had finally started to get their act together and wins against them were becoming rare events even then. I feel very lucky and privileged to have been there.

[George Carlin]

08. VinceWLB has sailed dangerously close to being a Ben Atiga Apologist.
09. Jimbopip likes a good Otter Ale (again, we suspect that this is code for something).

Unless you have enjoyed tasting a good Otter Ale while drunken Execeterr fans are queuing up to stroke your sporran and then compare its smoothness with ASBO's full bushy then you haven't live George, you just haven't lived.

I am going to change my username to "Asbo's Full Bushy".

[funnyExiledScot]

When England dipped in the mid-2000s we had some success against them as well, in fact three victories inside that decade. Sadly there wasn't much more to celebrate than that, and nothing compared to the late 80s/early 90's side.

Sadly England, Ireland and Wales are all quite a bit ahead of us at the moment. Better packs and better backs. I thought we were closing the gap but last season was a huge set-back, with silly tactics and team selection. On paper we look ok, but then the side seems to be playing well below its potential, whereas that great side of the late 80s/early 90s really maxmised the talent available and played to its strengths.

[tigertattie]

Back from another extended time away. What have I missed?

03. Tattie really hates the Edinburgh bypass, with a passion

Fixed that too!

[Weegie Wizard]

I'd like to make a claim for the biggest 1990 sob story. My 9yr old self took too long getting a half time burger and missed the Tony Stanger wonder try  

[funnyExiledScot]

Don't worry - he didn't actually touch the ball down!

[RDW]

I'd like to make a claim for the biggest 1990 sob story. My 9yr old self took too long getting a half time burger and missed the Tony Stanger wonder try  

  

I was 3 so was probably too busy playing in my mud pit (yes, I had a mud pit as a child) or eating bugs to bother about Scotland winning a grand slam!

[highland_scot]

I was a foetus...

[RDW]

I'm just waiting in Glove coming on and gloating at how his parents hadn't even met yet or something like that....

[IanBru]

I'm pretty sure this is how Schitz reacted when he first met me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLIP0ZtoiO4

(Warning: un petit peu de swearing)

[funnyExiledScot]

ASBO was still old.

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Brumeister,

should that not read "Un petit peu du swearing" ? Although my French grammar is a tad rusty ! That apart think you are on it here. I taught Malcolm T most of his sweary (sweaty!) repertoire. My favourite was always "why don't you feck the feck up or feck the feck off !"

[George Carlin]

"From bean to cup, you f*** up."

[jimbopip]

08. VinceWLB has sailed dangerously close to being a Ben Atiga Apologist.
09. Jimbopip likes a good Otter Ale (again, we suspect that this is code for something).

Unless you have enjoyed tasting a good Otter Ale while drunken Execeterr fans are queuing up to stroke your sporran and then compare its smoothness with ASBO's full bushy then you haven't live George, you just haven't lived.

I am going to change my username to "Asbo's Full Bushy".

When George when? Your people are waiting and you can't let us down.

[George Carlin]

08. VinceWLB has sailed dangerously close to being a Ben Atiga Apologist.
09. Jimbopip likes a good Otter Ale (again, we suspect that this is code for something).

Unless you have enjoyed tasting a good Otter Ale while drunken Execeterr fans are queuing up to stroke your sporran and then compare its smoothness with ASBO's full bushy then you haven't live George, you just haven't lived.

I am going to change my username to "Asbo's Full Bushy".

When George when? Your people are waiting and you can't let us down.

I may not be able to get the change through my firm's Smut Firewall.

George Carlin is apparently more Shari'iah compliant.

[tigertattie]

Does this not just fill you with dread?

Glasgow: Dunbar, Bennett, Horne, Russell, Downey, Hughes, even DTH and Hogg
Edinburgh: Atiga and Strauss

[funnyExiledScot]

Does this not just fill you with dread?

Glasgow: Dunbar, Bennett, Horne, Russell, Downey, Hughes, even DTH and Hogg
Edinburgh: Scott, Atiga, Dominguez, Dean, Strauss, Beard, Tait and potentially Fife (13), Burleigh (12) and McLennan (13)

True (although I've added a few for Edinburgh for the sake of accurate comparison, but only two can play in the centres and in Matt Scott Edinburgh have the best option at 12.

Glasgow have more depth, and probably the best overall combination in Dunbar and Bennett, but there are a few unknown quantities at Edinburgh and I have hopes for a potential Scott/Fife combination or possibly Burleigh/Scott.

[tigertattie]

Yeah but Scott is cabbaged at the moment!

Bring back Nick De Luca I say!

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