Worst Northern Hemisphere Commentator

Since old Bill left us there don't seem to be any universally loved commentators, so who is the most loathed?

I left out Southern Hemisphere commentators because saying "you beauty" every time a try is scored doesn't qualify as commentary.

I voted for one of my own: Andy Nicol.

Horribly biased, ill-informed and never tires of stating the obvious. He speaks too quickly, his vocabulary limited and he appears to do even less preparation than Jeremy Guscott on opposition players.

Of that list I think Andrew Cotter, Brian Moore, Will Greenwood, Ian Robertson, John Beattie and Austin Healey are excellent at what they do.

I can't be the only one whose mind just immediately leaped to Stuart Barnes as soon as I read the title...

I like John Beattie, but I think his attempt at being a 'smart' commentator is to be ridiculously negative about everything, just so he doesn't appear one-eyed.

It's the commentating equivalent of a referee being harsh against a club team from his own country, just to avoid any appearance of impropriety.

It's a tough one, they're all so cr@p really.

Stuart Barnes is painfully annoying and makes a lot of unnecessarily homoerotic statements about player's bodies, Jonathan Davis is the most biased I've ever heard and Brian Moore is an opinionated prat/old curmudgeon.

I went Davis as bias is the worst of all sins in that profession imo.

Notch wrote:I can't be the only one whose mind just immediately leaped to Stuart Barnes as soon as I read the title...

I don't mind Barnes. He comes out with some odd ideas, and likes his rugby played in a certain way, but he does analyse the game fairly well and attempts to offer some insight, whether you agree with him or not.

There are far far worse than him on that list.

Where's Guscott? Very few of those in his league.

Jenifer McLadyboy wrote:Where's Guscott? Very few of those in his league.

He is shocking, but is more of a pundit than a commentator thankfully.

Normally I would say Jonathan Davies but he actually did a pretty good job in the recent commentary in rugby league challenge cup semi final and finals. Perhaps he should stick to that instead of rugby union. To be fair it also helped that his beloved Wales weren't playing.

Agree with Notch I voted Stuart Barnes too. No Jeremy Guscott means it's not even a fair contest.

beshocked wrote:Normally I would say Jonathan Davies but he actually did a pretty good job in the recent commentary in rugby league challenge cup semi final and finals. Perhaps he should stick to that instead of rugby union. To be fair it also helped that his beloved Wales weren't playing.

I was thinking that too. Davies is informative, impartial and stays within comfortable octave ranges when commentating on league. He's much better at that.

funnyExiledScot wrote:I voted for one of my own: Andy Nicol.

Horribly biased, ill-informed and never tires of stating the obvious. He speaks too quickly, his vocabulary limited and he appears to do even less preparation than Jeremy Guscott on opposition players.

Of that list I think Andrew Cotter, Brian Moore, Will Greenwood, Ian Robertson, John Beattie and Austin Healey are excellent at what they do.

Spot on.

Austin Healey. Reasonable player. Total plonker. Good commentator.

Jerry Guscott. Great player. Total plonker. Dreadful commentator.

I think we need more data before discerning a patern.

Bit harsh to criticise them all, I have enjoyed listening to all at certain points, if a few have tendancies that annoy me.

I don't understand why people dislike bias, it's what most of them are there for, well except Inverdale, lord knows why he's there. Theres nothing better than listening to Barnes yell bloody murder as Flood kicks the ball away, Davies screaming numbers as he leaps from his seat, has anyone seen the Sky sports clip of the commentating team celebrating the 3rd lions test? I like the passion.

Wait for the 'His hairs to quiffy' or 'His voice grates' brigade, they'll really add to this thread, honest!

Don't watch league, so for me it's Jiffy by a country mile. Quinnell is not far behind. They both allow their passion to overrule any kind of objectivity, balance or cogent analysis. They should look at Shane Williams to see how it's done - I thought he was very impressive given his inexperience behind the mike.

I've gone for Nicol on that list. As feS said - "horribly biased".

But my nomination would go to someone not on the list. Step forward Mark Robson. His bias towards the Irish Provinces during the HC grinds my gears. He is the main reason why people accuse Sky of having a 'Munster love in."

Eddie Butler is fine when he is commentating. When he does the 'poetic' stuff in the pre-match build-up I want to heave.

Interesting that most posters that bothered to post a comment don't agree with the overwhelming vote for Jiffy.

I voted for him but actually think he is a likeable chap just someone I don't want to listen to commentating.

Dewi Morris.

Hound of Harrow wrote:I've gone for Nicol on that list. As feS said - "horribly biased".

But my nomination would go to someone not on the list. Step forward Mark Robson. His bias towards the Irish Provinces during the HC grinds my gears. He is the main reason why people accuse Sky of having a 'Munster love in."

Not a popular opinion perhaps. But I love Mark Robson. (Frankie Sheehan is the Munster love in man) Robson is an Ulsterman. They HATE him in Munster.

http://www.munsterfans.com/archive/index.php/t-19806.html?s=1387951308dd011bb5adefce43c20f53

Mixed feelings in Leinster

http://forum.leinsterfans.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10697


I finally figured out why I like him so much. It's his useless information and what are known as "Dad jokes" or as those of us of a certain age call them...... Jokes. (actually just mildly amusing phrases rather than jokes)

"That's the sort of pass you give to someone who's just eaten your last Rolo" from that Munsterfans page or
'Epi Taione-he's a centre but he's built more like a shopping centre'
'Well Ronan O'gara is like flipper, he loves the wet conditions'
'the cappuchino cowboys are in frothy form tonight' from Leinsterfans

The man's a god

Neutralee wrote:Bit harsh to criticise them all, I have enjoyed listening to all at certain points, if a few have tendancies that annoy me.

I don't understand why people dislike bias, it's what most of them are there for, well except Inverdale, lord knows why he's there. Theres nothing better than listening to Barnes yell bloody murder as Flood kicks the ball away, Davies screaming numbers as he leaps from his seat, has anyone seen the Sky sports clip of the commentating team celebrating the 3rd lions test? I like the passion.

Wait for the 'His hairs to quiffy' or 'His voice grates' brigade, they'll really add to this thread, honest!

I agree with that. Bias is acceptable if there is some basic knowledge of the game. Passion is a good thing while you get the pundits who normally are there to counterbalance that by giving a more honest opinion of whats going on. You guys should be grateful as you didnt have to deal with a guy who was not only already known for being one of the worst footy commentator (even got a prize for that) didnt seem to understand rugby (couldnt explain something basic as a line out) but was still the main commentator during the last world cup on TF1 spending his time making sad jokes , saying "attention/beware" every 5 minutes and making mistakes with player's name (vincent trinh duc??). After 2 games I was listening on the radio despite the sync issues.

I second Mark Robson. Just talks none stop drivel. Unfortunately there are very few out there that (for me) add something positive. There are some that don't make things worse. Then there are some that make me want to turn it off. Robson is one of those. Barnes is another. Butler can get like that, same with Nicoll.

Dallaglio was one of the worst when he started, and would easily have won this competition at one point. He started to improve as he relaxed a bit, so he's out of the relegation zone now. Still well short of the required standard, though.

I voted for Dawson, who now has a substantial media career but thinks his main role is to be a character. He'd rather make a joke with someone than find out what they think, or make a relevant observation himself. By contrast, Austin Healey genuinely is a character - whether you like his style or not - but he doesn't forget to tell us about the rugby.

I voted for Miles Harrison, for the way he'll describe a simple kick to touch or some other straightforward bit of play by an English player as if it's the best thing the world has ever seen (I'm exaggerating a bit, but not much).

As far as pundits / co-commentators go, I'd say the worst is Ieuan Evans. He's been doing it for years and he hasn't got any better. For someone who's been there and done it as a player, he offers very little insight and most of the time just talks because he feels obliged to talk, not because he has anything to say. He is to rugby commentary what Colin Jackson is to athletics commentary.

Rugby Fan wrote:Dallaglio was one of the worst when he started, and would easily have won this competition at one point. He started to improve as he relaxed a bit, so he's out of the relegation zone now. Still well short of the required standard, though.

I voted for Dawson, who now has a substantial media career but thinks his main role is to be a character. He'd rather make a joke with someone than find out what they think, or make a relevant observation himself. By contrast, Austin Healey genuinely is a character - whether you like his style or not - but he doesn't forget to tell us about the rugby.

Dallaglio is terrible when Wasps are playing certainly. Other than that, as you say, he's ok.

Dawson, 100% agree. Nothing to add to that as it perfectly sums up my thoughts on him (and Healey).

I voted for Morris as despite the plethora of poor commentators on that list, he stands out for making the most inane comments on a highly regular basis. I found the Rugby Club unwatchable largely due to him. It is notable how many poor commentators there are as Davies, Butler, Barnes, Harrison and Mullins really wouldn't be far off. John Inverdale deserves an honourable mention, as whilst not a commentator he surely is the worst presenter!

There are some notable omissions from the list, but that is a good thing as they don't deserve to be there. For me, I enjoy listening to Alastair Eykyn, Ben Kay, David Flatman and from the list Will Greenwood and Nigel Starmer-Smith.

I'm surprised no one's voted for Phil Matthews yet. Jiffy's getting stick for being pro-Wales, but Matthews is hopelessly pro-Ireland. Remember that Six Nations drinking game, where you had to down your pint if he disagreed with a penalty decision in Ireland's favour? Never going to happen!

I voted for Jiffy but on reflection Dawson is awful. Healey too can irritating on Rugby Tonight but is fine when it comes to match day. He quite often points out something I had not noticed. Dawson just states the obvious.

Agree with others that Dawson can get pretty annoying. It's like he's always trying to 'entertain' rather than inform.

Healy is very good. He's only dabbled with coaching but I think he really understands rugby. He also has nice scarves.

Exiledinborders wrote:I voted for Jiffy but on reflection Dawson is awful.  Healey too can irritating on Rugby Tonight but is fine when it comes to match day. He quite often points out something I had not noticed. Dawson just states the obvious.

Oh give him a break, he does that for the benefit of the Saracens supporters, most of those guys didn't know the sport existed before 2005 and they are still trying to pick up the rules....

I supported Saracens long before 2005 though I can't vouch for other Saracens fans.

Anyway I am not going to actively support Saracens anymore (go to live games) - they don't treat the fans properly hence why attendances are so low. The players are their number one priority.

In many ways, the measure of a good pundit is their ability to see things that other people don't, and to say things that go against the grain. In Healey's case, he has moments of real insight that make up for quite a lot of the rest of his personality.

Likewise, Brian Moore, whatever else you think of him, states his own mind rather than parroting what other people think and always has a justification for his arguments.

For my money, Ben Kay is comfortably the most insightful of the current crop but is less colourful so doesn't get used as much as he should. Greenwood was pretty good but I think some of his analysis is getting a little stale.

The Barnes-Morris double act just winds me up. They are trying to provide insight but it's based on an understanding of an era of the game that recedes further into the distant past with every passing season. Guscott, as far as I can see, generates controversial opinions at random (with a skew towards Bath) but occasionally strikes lucky with a flash of something worthwhile.

Lynagh and Fitzpatrick are still regularly on the money, as are Keith Wood and most of the Irish ex-players. I suspect BOD will be good value.

beshocked wrote: I supported Saracens long before 2005 though I can't vouch for other Saracens fans.

Anyway I am not going to actively support Saracens anymore (go to live games) - they don't treat the fans properly hence why attendances are so low. The players are their number one priority.

I know you're a die hard and dedicated follower chap, it was very much a 'cap fitting' exercise.

Andy Nichol for me

Huw Llywelyn Davies is by far the worst for me - can't understand a thing he says.

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:I'm surprised no one's voted for Phil Matthews yet. Jiffy's getting stick for being pro-Wales, but Matthews is hopelessly pro-Ireland. Remember that Six Nations drinking game, where you had to down your pint if he disagreed with a penalty decision in Ireland's favour? Never going to happen!

Yes. Matthews makes Jiffy look completely neutral. Matthews' accent is really jarring too.

No Mark Robson?

Seriously?

You are all going to HATE this. Mark Robson AND Dewi Morris! TOGETHER!!!!

Be sure to watch to the end (it's only a minute and a half) for the close up of Shaggy's offload it was right in front of me and one of the best I've ever seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW7HgpvlLFs

2 seasons ago Ieuan Evans basically had to tell Mark Robson to stop talking because he kept going on about the colour of Gavin Henson's skin. It was cringeworthy. Gavin Henson wasn't even playing.

He is a muppet, a bafoon and doesn't belong in rugby commentary.

Stuart Barnes ruins a lot of games for me with his repetitive and completely irrelevant statements. I hope he isn't hired by either BT or Sky for the new European cup

Chunky Norwich wrote:2 seasons ago Ieuan Evans basically had to tell Mark Robson to stop talking because he kept going on about the colour of Gavin Henson's skin. It was cringeworthy. Gavin Henson wasn't even playing.

He is a muppet, a bafoon and doesn't belong in rugby commentary.

Get off that fence and tell us what you really think of him

Jhamer25 wrote:Stuart Barnes ruins a lot of games

That was all you needed to write in all honesty.

Why is JD getting so many votes ? Others should take a leaf out of his book at times, he always explains what should have happened when a play goes wrong, or explains what the ref should be saying and giving and why refs have given such a decision, not many other commentators do this.

Some of the rest of them have more important things to think about, like looking good for their age with a knowing smirk of superiority complex added for modelling impact - ie, Guscott.

LordDowlais wrote:Why is JD getting so many votes ? Others should take a leaf out of his book at times, he always explains what should have happened when a play goes wrong, or explains what the ref should be saying and giving and why refs have given such a decision, not many other commentators do this.

I don't understand it, either. He's almost never wrong with his analysis. Yes, he gets worked up when Wales are playing, but more often than not it's when we butcher an overlap or kick when a counter-attack's on. It's the same with Brian Moore when he commentates on England. He's more animated by English mistakes than anything else, because he cares more.

JD for me. His bias is one thing but his GO WIDE GO WIDE comments annoy the living hell out of me.

Yeah, maybe they could switch off his mic while the ball's in play. That's one of the things I don't like about Australian commentary, the co-commentators talking (sometimes cheering) while the commentator's trying to do his job. The co-commentators should wait for the main commentator to finish talking before they start talking, in my opinion.

JD for me aswell. Not only for all the points raised above, but also there was some homo-phobic comment he made about 5 years ago where Eddie Butler sort of called him out on it, all live. It was cringe worthy and made me loose total respect for JD.

If only he'd called it banter, he'd have been fine.

I went for Jonathan "numbahhhsss, numbahhhsss" Davies as well. Horrifically biased and has a voice like a fly that's got stuck in a kazoo and been forced to inhale helium.

Don't get the Jd hate at all. I like him. His problem is that his excellent rugby brain is way ahead of his mouth. He can see what is on in an instant. But cant express it fast enough.

I actually don't get the whole hate concept generally. Commentating is a really hard gig. Try it sometime. See how you do.

If I had to pick one (from that list which doesn't include Guscott) probably Andy Nicholl.

Why don't we have a more positive thread about who is the best (most favourite)