The Last Film watched (CONTAINS STAR WARS SPOILERS!!)

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Quite enjoyed rec 3 although it's not really much to do with the first 2 films.

If it had been a standalone film, I think the critical response would have been better. For me it was really entertaining.

Watched 'We need to talk about Kevin' on iplayer yesterday. It was an enjoyable movie given what it's about. The ending line gave me chills though when they mum asks Kevin "Why?" and his reply was just plain sociopathic imo.

Hoggy_Bear wrote:Just come back from watching Mad Max:Fury Road. Looks great, some really good action sequences, but a complete lack of plot, and if Tom Hardy speaks more than 100 words in the whole film I'd be surprised.
One thing that I found a bit silly,(as it was in Mad Max 2 & 3, to be fair), if Max was a cop as the apocalypse was engulfing Australia, how come, only 20 years later (at most), everyone has completely forgotten everything about today's civilisation? How come no-one even possesses a map of the place?
Oh well, if you shut your brain off as you go in, it's a good 2 hours of excitement, but can get a bit wearing after a while.

I agree with what you're saying. It gets compared to MM2 a lot, with most saying that one is still the best. These same people complain about the lack of plot, dialogue, etc. Yet in MM2 Mel spoke far less than a hundred lines, maybe less than 20? This movie also didn't have a script, they just went into the desert and shot the film within 2 weeks! Quite remarkable when you think about it...
Also, it was only the younger ones who had forgotten about the old world, least that's the impression I got. What confuses me is that Max is haunted by some vision of a young girl that calls him Pa, when his child was actually a baby boy... And also how the interceptor is back after it got totalled in the second movie....only to get totalled yet again.
Hope there's a follow-up to Fury Road none the less!

nadeem2099 wrote:Watched 'We need to talk about Kevin' on iplayer yesterday. It was an enjoyable movie given what it's about. The ending line gave me chills though when they mum asks Kevin "Why?" and his reply was just plain sociopathic imo.

I found this film very disturbing. Good nonetheless.

Sounds like the documentary they should have made about my life. I will have to watch it (it's on my hard-drive ready to go) as it may become a film I can enter in the Culture Cup competitions to enhance my reputation as one of the more disturbed members of the board.

DAVE667 wrote:Sounds like the documentary they should have made about my life. I will have to watch it (it's on my hard-drive ready to go) as it may become a film I can enter in the Culture Cup competitions to enhance my reputation as one of the more disturbed members of the board.

I don't think even you're that bad, Dave.

Monday's film this week was San Andreas. This effects boys and girls really had fun with this one: Lay waste to the West Coast of America. And they didn't disappoint. However, nobody told the scriptwriters that the film ideally needed to be as good as the effects. The Rock is suitably cheesy (as always!), Carla Gugino plays his estranged wife and Alexandra Daddario is their college aged daughter, allegedly. She's 29 FFS. Add in Paul Giamatti and Wil Yun Lee as Earthquake experts plus Ioan Gruffudd and you might think it will all work brilliantly. Weeeelllllll.....

The script rather poor, but hell, let's face it, everyone goes to see this to watch building fall over and such like. SO yes, great effects, but there's SO many other issues with this film:

Spoiler bits in case you want to see it:

I give it 5/10, and 4 of those are for the effects.

The Stoned Age

I watched this again the other night and its one of my all time favourites. I'm sure many people won't like it because its low budget, gritty and the story is literally 2 rockers on a night out but like Withnail and I, its the characters that make it funny even though they don't try to be funny.

What I love about it is its simplicity. The characters are the same kind everyone knew when they were in their late teens/early twenties. Ordinary fellas just looking to party and score a few hot chicks. Shur what more could you want?! The film doesn't go too over the top and it isn't a gross out comedy like typical American comedies these days.

We follow Joe and Hubbs on their night out as they come across all the kind of characters you usually find on a night out. Its just a night on but they make it seem like a mini adventure.

Its on youtube if anyone wants to watch it.

Kingsman. It was a remarkable film.

I watched Trance last night.

My god it was sh*te. If a film has taken itself more seriously over the last decade I’ll be surprised.

I could only hear about 30% of the dialogue as the producers had clearly let a 6th form music student loose with his Best of Dance CD for the 'soundtrack'. The bits I could hear made me realise why they had tried to drown out the characters. Disappointed in Danny Boyle. Was this really the guy that had his hands all over Trainspotting, Shallow Grave and 28 days later?

It was like they had taken parts of Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction, Silence of the Lambs and The Usual Suspects and still produced a steaming pile of cinematic turd.

It does score a 8.74 on the Tino Scale of Cinematic Excellence but 8.4 of that is for both the gratuitous close up shots of Rosario Dawson’s shaved beaver.

What a waste of a Sunday evening. I could have been on youtube watching insect fights.

Rosario Dawson makes a career of boosting the ratings of otherwise unwatchable films by getting naked. She does the same in Alexander.

She's doable but I find her huge teeth slightly offputting.

I like her.

Just seen a still of her shaved beaver and can see why Tino rated it so highly, can't help but suspect though that if you spread it there will be a Matt Prior-sized set of gnashers grinning at you.

She's got very odd shaped breasts and I find that sort of thing off-puting...anyway, watched "Jackie Brown" again yesterday. Always liked it, it just isn't as good (imo) as Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs

Hispanic chicks don't do anything for me.........Neither do oriental ones or black ladies for that matter !!............Just how it is......

I'll stick to white chicks............They can jump..

Not massively my type having googled her. Will have to google her minge at lunch to see if that improves her chances.

To bring the thread back on topic but also stick with the large gnashers theme, I watched Zombeavers this weekend.

Zombie Beavers attack a group of sexually charged teenagers at a lake retreat. Awful film. Hence, I loved it. 6/10

Run all Night - Usual Liam Neeson ageing hard man nonsense.

I also watched "the family" with Robert DeNiro and Michelle Pfeiffer directed by Luc Besson about a mafia boss who goes into witness protection in Normandie. Alright but not brilliant.

Adam D wrote:Alright but not brilliant.

It's reviews of this depth that keep me coming back to this thread, Adam.

I also watched "the family" with Robert DeNiro and Michelle Pfeiffer directed by Luc Besson about a mafia boss who goes into witness protection in Normandie. Alright but not brilliant.

Robert De Niro plays the lead, Giovanni, and his acting in the film leads you to think he is playing a character from his filmography in an unofficial sequel. His role is a former mobster who has snitched and went into witness protection, but kept his old ways when it comes to socializing with people. Alongside him is his wife Maggie Blake (played by Michelle Pfeiffer) who doesn't rise above your usual mob wife, outside of her bombing a supermarket once or twice, and then their children Belle (played by Dianna Agron) and Warren Blake (played by John D'Leo). Belle is a like a Disney princess, with the ability to switch into mob mentality. As for Warren, he pretty much is his father in the making, but with his upbringing not being as harsh, he is a bit softer than his dad was at his age. As for Tommy Lee Jones' character, it's pretty much as dry as most of the roles he is known for.

Story wise, the now christened "Blake" family has just left a part of southern France for Normandy, a quiet village. Well, that is until the Blakes arrive and begin to startup what they usually do. The dad makes up a job position and ends up getting involved in local politics and issues, the mom deals with living in a foreign country which doesn't have much love for Americans, the son uses his keen observation skills, and cunning, to quickly find means of manipulating aspects of his school environment, and poor Belle tries to deal with these genes which make her capable of being as violent as her father, while essentially being just a girl looking for love, stability and an escape from the madness of her family. Altogether, this seems like a rather normal family, well until the mob is seen throughout trying to find them and kill every last one.

Now, one of the main appeals of this film is the fact it isn't trying to be over the top a la Rush Hour. Instead, it does really try to make sure the foundation of family is established before it starts throwing violent or intense action scenes and having more naturalistic comedy. And by naturalistic, I mean that it isn't the type of comedy that is setup to be a joke, it is more so the comedy which we are used to from De Niro, or dialog which feels very natural for the other characters to say. Also, something I liked, this is one of the few productions when the kids don't feel like a waste of screen time. For while Agron and D'Leo certainly don't steal the movie from the more veteran actors, they at least are given enough of a story of their own to hold their ground, and they work well enough with De Niro and Pfeiffer to make us see a legit family chemistry. Lastly, I must note how much I admired them for developing most of the characters who represent the family. For while I felt Pfeiffer's character was a bit thin, everyone else seemed to have some type of past which lead to a understandable present, and we could foresee what future they could have and what they think they will have.

But, as all films, there were some issues. To begin, let's talk about Pfeiffer's character Maggie. The main issue with Maggie is that we have hardly learn a thing about her besides that she is Giovanni's wife, and the mother of Belle and Warren. I'll even throw in there she knows how to cook. Outside of that, we don't learn a thing. We don't learn how she learned to make a bomb, she expresses her displeasure for bouncing around in witness protection, but Agron's character more exhibits the displeasure of this than her, and outside of doing her wifely duties, she doesn't do much more than hang around the FBI guys gossiping. Add onto that issue, while De Niro and her have some chemistry, there is only just enough chemistry for us to believe they are a married couple. Then, going back to the topic of Agron's character, her character feels out of place sometimes. She, as mentioned, presents the angle which Pfeiffer's character only hints at: The need for normalcy. With this, as much as she pursues normalcy by trying to find love, she also brings the dramatics by almost killing herself, and the mobster violence by beating the hell out of someone with a racket, and handling a gun quite well. This makes it so you feel like they tried to give Agron a real meaty role showing the duality of the trauma which comes from being in the family to how capable she is in following in her dad's footsteps but, in the end, it makes her character not properly mesh well with the film and makes you think there was some indecision on how her character's development and story should have been handled.

Overall: Worth Seeing

With easy going comedy, and the type of mobster violence that is done just right, this film mostly feels like a breeze. Mind you, during the nearly two hour movie, there are some scenes with De Niro which seem unnecessary, but overall he brings a nice comical nature to the story and, outside of Pfeiffer, each family members presents something to the table as reason to watch the film. So, I would definitely say it is an opening weekend type movie, or worth renting on DVD.

^^

I watched 21st jump street. You Tube the trailer and save yourself 75 mins.

seanmichaels wrote:I watched 21st jump street. You Tube the trailer and save yourself 75 mins.

You missed nearly 30 mins of the movie.

Rowley wrote:Run all Night - Usual Liam Neeson ageing hard man nonsense.

A film about male incontinence in old age?


Hmmmmm...........  obviously one looking for an Oscar nod with that theme.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Adam D wrote:Alright but not brilliant.

It's reviews of this depth that keep me coming back to this thread, Adam.

That reminds me of a story I read once. George Best was doing an after dinner speech and was howlingly drunk. He was asked how the current Man Utd team compared to the team he played with. His response was s*ite. The bloke MC'ing the event tried to save things by saying would you care to elaborate on this George, to which his response was OK, f*cking s*ite.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Adam D wrote:Alright but not brilliant.

It's reviews of this depth that keep me coming back to this thread, Adam.

That reminds me of a story I read once. George Best was doing an after dinner speech and was howlingly drunk. He was asked how the current Man Utd team compared to the team he played with. His response was s*ite. The bloke MC'ing the event tried to save things by saying would you care to elaborate on this George, to which his response was OK, f*cking s*ite.

It's anecdotes of this depth that keep me coming back to this thread, Jeff.

No problem Tina. I am determined to move further up your list. I'm a realist I am not aiming top three or Jules level, but I can get above Sean and Womble.

Rowley wrote:No problem Tina. I am determined to move further up your list. I'm a realist I am not aiming top three or Jules level, but I can get above Sean and Womble.

Sean? F*cking Raf is above Sean.

Dawson does look hot in Trance but aside from that I think Tino has downplayed what a diabolical mess of a film it really is, expected better after 127 hours and Slumdog Millionaire.

Had the misfortune of watching 'The Fighter' last week and my reservations about the film were proved correct, the question running through my head at all times was; 'why make a film about Micky bloody Ward?'. I can imagine it may appeal the uninformed masses but there were so many needless mistakes it became impossible to enjoy.

Ward vs Neary was at 140lbs not 147lbs while not being for a recognised world title which he did get after his come from behind victory over Sanchez but was a one sided losing effort to Vince Phillips. Before which they invented boxers, had his record wrong at every turn and exaggerated the Mungin weight difference amongst other BS.

Unlike the factually correct and brilliant Raging Bull this is one boxing biographical to steer well clear of.

Like you I did not enjoy The Fighter, realise the Academy disagreed but I hated Bale’s performance, overacted his way throughout it. Love Ward dearly as a fighter, always a good watch, but as you have said there are surely more worthy subjects for a boxing film. Have said it before but Kassim Ouma would make for a terrific film.

Don't get me wrong I like Ward but much of that is down to the trilogy with Gatti which has been saved for a sequel, I feel like vomiting at the thought of that, the HBO documentary was bad enough.

I'd go for Johnny Tapia but like Ouma the back story is a bit too brutal compared to the rather standard born in relative poverty and down on his luck story of Ward.

I'm sure Jake Gyllenhall's film "Southpaw" will be an absolute masterpiece (cough)

TROPIC THUNDER

The trailers at the start were funny. The rest was meh.

I thought that The Fighter was quite good, it clearly helped a bit that I know next to nothing about boxing and had never heard of Mickey bloody Ward.

Nightcrawler - 8/10
Jake Gyllenhall usually puts in a great performance and is starting to quickly become one of my favourite actors. Playing 'Louis Bloom', he really thrives playing a loose cannon who shows glimpses of a psychopath who will just about do anything for a bit of cash. Overall the storyline is enjoyable and really shows the underbelly on freelance journalism. Because he plays the sleazy, creepy role so well, I did feel a little unsatisfied with the ending and felt that the character should have probably been killed off.

Reservoir Dogs - 10/10
Having seen most of Quentin Tarantino's work, I thought I would give his directing début a chance. Having spoken about the film in the office, I thought I would be the last person to actually see but surprisingly wasn't the case. Very enjoyable film with the dialogue and interaction between the cast a particular highlight with a great cast.

If the Culture Cup had a "best Directorial debut film" round I'd vote for "Reservoir Dogs"

I watched Jurassic World last night. It really was excellent.

I'm sure the terribly discerning film snobs on 606v2 (of which there are many) will complain about the clunky dialogue, some suspicious acting, scientific inaccuracies, the sentimental ending and the gung-ho moments but you know what, it had massive dinosaurs killing each other and eating humans. And it delivers on this in spades.

If you're expecting Coen brothers subtlety or towering acting performances then don't bother. If you want a summer blockbuster that has everything a summer blockbuster should have, then this will be for you. It's loud, it's in your face, the special effects are superb and the characters, although limited in scope, are easy to buy into. There are some lovely nods back to the original and I thought it was an excellent addition to the franchise (I f*cking hate the word franchise but can't think of a better one).

Scored a 9.43324 on the Tino Scale of Cinematic Excellence. Great stuff.

Did it have Nicole Kidman or Ewan mcgregor bursting Into song?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I watched Jurassic World last night.  It really was excellent.

I'm sure the terribly discerning film snobs on 606v2 (of which there are many) will complain about the clunky dialogue, some suspicious acting, scientific inaccuracies, the sentimental ending and the gung-ho moments but you know what, it had massive dinosaurs killing each other and eating humans.  And it delivers on this in spades.

If you're expecting Coen brothers subtlety or towering acting performances then don't bother.  If you want a summer blockbuster that has everything a summer blockbuster should have, then this will be for you.  It's loud, it's in your face, the special effects are superb and the characters, although limited in scope, are easy to buy into.  There are some lovely nods back to the original and I thought it was an excellent addition to the franchise (I f*cking hate the word franchise but can't think of a better one).

Scored a 9.43324 on the Tino Scale of Cinematic Excellence.  Great stuff.

Haven't seen it yet but I would guess that it suffers from the same flaw as the first three - there's just no need for dialogue at all.  If the entire film was about dinosaurs fighting and eating each other with the occasional break to eat a screaming girl or some snotty boy who thinks he's a f*cking superhero because he can identify six species of dinosaurs it would be the perfect film.


Watched Pacific Rim last night, fairly entertaining rubbish.  Acting and dialogue were gloriously and, possibly intentionally, bad and the action seemed to be nicked from Fellowship of the Ring, Cloverfield and King Kong but was enjoyable in an I-left-my-brain-somewhere-and-can't-be-arsed-to-find-it sort of way.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:No problem Tina. I am determined to move further up your list. I'm a realist I am not aiming top three or Jules level, but I can get above Sean and Womble.

Sean? F*cking Raf is above Sean.

Yeah, but I'm top five, so not particularly surprising.

Caught Jurassic Park on Friday. What a pile of garbage. Caught Get Hard as well, actually laughed a bit at the rampant racism... But its a gawdawful film

Les Miserables - 1/10
1/10 purely because some of it was filmed where I work. It was the worst film I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of bad films. More plot holes than Coronation Street, worse songs than a Justin Bieber album, worse singing than Mariah Carey in the bath. Just horrendous torture for 2.5 hours. It made Anchorman 2 look Oscar-worthy.

Speaking of Oscars, HOW THE HELL DID ANNE HATHAWAY WIN AN OSCAR FOR A SUB-PAR 20MIN PERFORMANCE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? OVER AMY ADAMS AND SALLY FIELD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

With all due respect Azzy (you just know the rest of this post now contains NO RESPECT) but I would have thought you'd have ascertained fairly early on that this film was sh!t yet you continued to sit through 2 and a half hours of it? You should f*cking know better...I have no sympathy (or respect) for you, you f*cking daft c*nt!

After making my wife watch Anchorman 2 I was in no position to walk out, but she owes me big time. Why did Javert kill himself? Why did Valjean not find his family when he was released? Why did Cosette run away with a total stranger when she had food and lodging? Why are the innkeepers seemingly destitute when for years they've been stealing goods from the wealthy? Why does anyone like this drivel?

ANCHORMAN 2?

You really are a glutton for punishment...and a c*nt!

It's an improvement on "f*cking daft c*nt" I guess

Couldn't agree with you more on Anchorman Azzy... I'm yet to see number 2, but why would I do that to myself after watching the first one? Why do people hype up this garbage and find it funny? Awful movies with awful actors.

Watched Dracula: Untold the other night. It's not a bad film, but it's not a good one either. Luke Evans plays Vlad the Impaler who is threatened by the (very English-looking) Turks. To protect his family he allows himself to take powers from an evil and mysterious vampire played by Charles Dance. Luke Evans is the only one who seems to be bothered to act in this - his "wife" is all breathy and pathetic whilst his son is a mop-headed irritation. The storyline is a bit predictable but the effects are half decent.

Dominic Cooper (complete with bad make-up to "look like" he's Turkish) is right up there with Kiefer Sutherland in Pompeii as having the worst screen accent I have seen this year. The rest of the cast are just glorified extras and have no discernible lines.

I suppose it's good enough but only if not much else is on. 5.5/10

The funniest bit in Dracula is when D. Cula turns his village buddies into vampires to help him fight off the Turkish lads...... and then the auld buddies inevitably do the backstab on Dracula and want to feed on after the victory. What a bit of a dope young Dracula was to not know that only one vampire per movie gets to have a conscience, a brain, a sense of restraint and an appreciation of when enough feeding is enough!

Watched Kingsman last night. Wasn't expecting much but I though it was quality. Best film I've seen for a while.