The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **superflyweight** Wed Jan 14, 2015 4:35 am

First topic message reminder :

~~Beautiful - well played~~ Eat it Tina.

Yeah, I agree. eat it Tina.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:25 am

Union Cane wrote:I'm lost too, Jules...

Do not touch Julius. Do not approach Julius. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pencils or pens. No staples or paperclips in his paper. Use the sliding food carrier, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. Do you understand me?

by **superflyweight** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:26 am

It's Silence of the Lambs you fools. They've just rebadged it!

by **Union Cane** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:29 am

Weirdos.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:32 am

superflyweight wrote:It's Silence of the Lambs you fools. They've just rebadged it!

Oh. So I was right not to be impressed.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:37 am

Jules wrote:Oh. So I was right not to be impressed.

Yup...

by **Union Cane** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:39 am

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like Julius. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

This is fun.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:40 am

Union Cane wrote:

This is fun.

That's the spirit, Cane.

by **Union Cane** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:41 am

Hey, jackweed, I get more action in a week than you've had in your entire life. I've got houses in L.A., Paris and Vail. In each one, a 70 inch plasma screen. So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face before I come over there and SMACK it off! You feeling strong, my friend? Call me Julius one more time.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:42 am

Union wrote:This is fun.

I think you're all f--ked in the head. We're ten hours from the f--kin' fun park and you wanna bail out. Well, I'll tell ya something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much f--kin' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our god-damn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! Ha, ha, ha, ha! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Oh, s--t!

by Rowley Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:42 am

Union Cane wrote:

This is fun.

I disagree Union, it is beneath me.

by **Union Cane** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:45 am

Rowley, you just did an incredibly brave thing. What you should have done was land your plane! You don't own that plane, the tax payers do! Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter!

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:48 am

I was wearing my powder-blue suit, with dark blue shirt, tie and display handkerchief, black brogues, black wool socks with dark blue socks on them. I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. I was everything the well-dressed private detective ought to be. I was calling on Tino.

by **superflyweight** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:54 am

A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

by **Union Cane** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:58 am

You have to reference a member, so to speak. Doesn't work otherwise.

by **Union Cane** Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:59 am

(That was me saying that, it isn't from a film)

by **superflyweight** Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:00 am

I was born to love you Union. I was born to lick your face. I was born to rub you, but you were born to rub me first... What do you say we take this out on the patio?

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:06 am

It's supposed to be a quote from a film 'fly, not just an idle fantasy.

by **Union Cane** Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:06 am

Hello superflyweight. You don't know me, but I know you. I want to play a game. Here's what happens if you lose. The device you are wearing is hooked into your upper and lower jaw. When the timer in the back goes off, your mouth will be permanently ripped open. Think of it like a reverse bear trap. Here, I'll show you. There is only one key to open the device. It's in the stomach of your dead cellmate. Look around superflyweight. Know that I'm not lying. Better hurry up. Live or die, make your choice.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:10 am

Julius, it's all psychological. You yell Superflyweight, everybody says, "Huh? What?" You yell Union Cane, we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.

by Adam D Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:12 am

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Tino with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Julius ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

by **seanmichaels** Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:13 am

I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as Tophat's titties.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:15 am

We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Adam - he spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on his face, watching Moulin Rouge, the f*cking cretin.

by Adam D Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:21 am

seanmichaels wrote:I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as Tophat's titties.

My favourite film! (after Moulin Rouge obviously!)

by Adam D Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:24 am

It's the same old story. Tino finds Raf, Tino loses Raf, Raf finds Tino, Tino forgets Raf, Tino remembers Raf, Raf dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?

No, the worst.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:33 am

Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! F*ckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Adam! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, f*ckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short f*cking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Julius and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude f*cks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Adam, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.

by Adam D Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:45 am

Union, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may Rowley have mercy on your soul.

by Rowley Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:45 am

This is still beneath me.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:56 am

Rowley wrote:This is still beneath me.

You're not the moderator we are looking for.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:57 am

Rowley wrote:This is still beneath me.

It is, Jeff. Even I joined in, albeit with a novel, rather than a film, but you're a shining example to us all.

by Rowley Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:04 am

I only said it to ingratiate myself to you Jules, you can imagine my disappointment on discovering you had joined in.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:06 am

Rowley wrote:I only said it to ingratiate myself to you Jules, you can imagine my disappointment on discovering you had joined in.

Jules only joined in to ingratiate himself to me.

by Guest Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:07 am

Rowley wrote:This is still beneath me.

You're from Yorkshire...everything's beneath us!

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:13 am

Rowley wrote:I only said it to ingratiate myself to you Jules, you can imagine my disappointment on discovering you had joined in.

Apologies Jeff. But it should cheer you up to know that in this case you're better online entity than I.

by **seanmichaels** Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:47 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:This is still beneath me.

You're not the moderator we are looking for.

by Rowley Thu Jan 15, 2015 2:29 am

Morning all. I trust we are all going to conduct ourselves with a little more decorum today.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu Jan 15, 2015 2:35 am

Morning Jeff, was hoping for snow, and a "working from home" day but alas just cold here.

by Rowley Thu Jan 15, 2015 2:36 am

Likewise Rick, bit chilly here but snow free.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu Jan 15, 2015 2:37 am

Ah well considering all I do is talk Shoite for a living, I can not complain too much.

Seem to go to ratpoo on here yesterday.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:08 am

rick_dagless wrote:

Seem to go to ratpoo on here yesterday.

It was brilliant on here yesterday. There were no afternoon lulls and everyone joined in apart from you, Jules and miseryb*llocks up there.

Morning all.

by **Pal Joey** Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:18 am

Moping all,

I've just wrecked another palindrome with this post but you are all well worth it.

Nice even number there, Tino.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:42 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:Moping all,

I've just wrecked another palindrome with this post but you are all well worth it.

Nice even number there, Tino.

Yeah, I'm not going to post anymore in case I ruin it.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:43 am

Morning all. Does anyone else remember the good old days when Tino cared enough to change his location daily for me? I hate to see us drift apart like this T.

by Rowley Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:48 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:

Seem to go to ratpoo on here yesterday.

It was brilliant on here yesterday. There were no afternoon lulls and everyone joined in apart from you, Jules and miseryb*llocks up there.

Morning all.

Jules joined in, that was what hurt the most.

by **Galted** Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:50 am

Sh1t on here today.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:50 am

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:

Seem to go to ratpoo on here yesterday.

It was brilliant on here yesterday. There were no afternoon lulls and everyone joined in apart from you, Jules and miseryb*llocks up there.

Morning all.

Jules joined in, that was what hurt the most.

Not really, it was only a token effort.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:53 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:Morning all. Does anyone else remember the good old days when Tino cared enough to change his location daily for me? I hate to see us drift apart like this T.

Nothing could make me drift apart from you, Jules. Never again will I hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, and I certainly don't want to make you cry.

by Rowley Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:53 am

Still too much Tina, the rest of you I expect little better of but Jules! Is akin to seeing Jimmy Page joining One Direction. The very foundations on which the culture cup are built on have now been rocked for me.

by **Galted** Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:55 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:

Seem to go to ratpoo on here yesterday.

It was brilliant on here yesterday. There were no afternoon lulls and everyone joined in apart from you, Jules and miseryb*llocks up there.

Morning all.

Jules joined in, that was what hurt the most.

Not really, it was only a token effort.

No need to be racist.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu Jan 15, 2015 3:59 am

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:

Seem to go to ratpoo on here yesterday.

It was brilliant on here yesterday. There were no afternoon lulls and everyone joined in apart from you, Jules and miseryb*llocks up there.

Morning all.

Jules joined in, that was what hurt the most.

Not really, it was only a token effort.

No need to be racist.

Talking of racist. Did anyone see that documentary on 4 last night, Angry, White and Proud?

Frightening stuff.

I'm sure I saw Sean there.

by Rowley Thu Jan 15, 2015 4:03 am

I didn't Tina, is it worth hunting down on 4oD? Watched the world at war again. Japan have just bombed Pearl Harbour. I suspect our fortunes are going to turn round pretty shortly.

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