The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Beautiful - well played  Eat it Tina.

Yeah, I agree. eat it Tina.

Union Cane wrote:Something to do with a full toss.

Or bouncers.

Rowley wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Something to do with a full toss.

Or bouncers.

Or a pair of googlies.

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Pero necesitamos saber si Tino es hacer el amor a Galted?

sí mi culo es muy dolorida, glated es consumida por los celos

A Scottish researcher, Dr Hamish Campbell, has found that saltwater crocs "do not necessarily" attack people who swim near them.

I feel so much more reassured now. I was about to cancel the trip.

Sounds like a croc of sh1t, LD.

First - south of the equator.

Yeah, fly. Put a "Dr" in front of a confident sounding Scotsman and I must admit that even so, I found it a very strange thing to say.
Some might say irresponsible. He was on about "only in very shallow waters... late in the day..." I thought that's exactly their Dinner Time.

On the subject of our wildlife. Had a call from Mum this morning.
The neighbour had a wallaby in their back yard yesterday. That's a first in a suburb only 9kms from the southern pylon of the bridge. The neighbour (a softly spoken Englishman called Peter) went inside to call Parks & Wildlife... but 3 minutes later when he went back outside - it was gone. It would have had to cross one relatively busy road to get there, (check for mail in the letterbox) then slip up the side path to the back lawn area.

He was told that due to the success of the fox baits (the bush across the road connects with the National Park) there has been a population explosion of native marsupials. Also a plague of rabbits (escaped domestics) at the moment. All shapes, sizes and colours grazing away.

Very weird - never saw a wallaby near us as a kid and we spent day upon day traipsing through the bush with the local gang of kids. We saw plenty of snakes and decent sized lizards (eastern water dragons) and of course plenty of golden orb weavers, etc.

We have wild wallabies here, in Derbyshire I believe...

Fist (northern hemisphere)

Good Morning, Rick.

There was one in Israel too the other day. Running alongside the cars.

Just saw a big black crow getting hassled by wasps on my old roof. Probably a phucking colony there. Might have to pay the crow extra corn to do whatever the phuck it's doing.

Morning chaps.

There's a colony of wild wallabies in Dundee. A few escaped from the zoo at Camperdown Park and they bred and the offspring now live in Templeton Woods.

Morning TLD/super

I think from memory super, they have successfully bred with the locals...

There was a big cat on the St Andrews side of the Tay at one point.

Sad to hear about the end of the page 3 girls in print. I understand they will still be there online though.

Regarding the group of 5 protestors. One looked OK-ish but probably damaged upstairs. Three others were as phugly as my arse on a bad day. But the 5th person? Couldn't tell what it was. He or she? It looked a little confused to me. For phuck's sake... who would go to all that trouble?

It's not their t1ts that I'll miss, LD, it's their keen insight into the key issues of the day.

Good morning.

super wrote:It's not their t1ts that I'll miss, LD, it's their keen insight into the key issues of the day.

Agreed, I have no idea how you lot could of decided on the outcome of the referendum without the insight of Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire

They got rid of them here about 25 years ago I think it was. Bit of a shame. I thought they were a healthy addition. I'd miss the lovely jubblies (and those nice creases in between them) and all the keen insights (if I was in the UK).

It's yet another example of the right to a free gawk being denied by a few pathetic killjoys... as well as a dilution of some important intellectual topics of debate and hearing about their particular aspirations. Pure adulterated expression has been taking a huge blow lately, n'est ce pas?

Morning Tina.

Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire swung the referendum for me, Rick. It was when she pointed out the potential disastrous outcome of a inequitable currency union between a net exporter of oil on one hand and a net importer of oil on the other, that I had definitive proof that Salmond was a full blown idiot as well as a phucking bumhole.

super wrote:Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire swung the referendum for me, Rick. It was when she pointed out the potential disastrous outcome of a inequitable currency union between a net exporter of oil on one hand and a net importer of oil on the other, that I had definitive proof that Salmond was a full blown idiot as well as a phucking bumhole.

She was a shrewd operator was Jo, I believe she may be up for a position on the 1922 committee seconded to the Governmental think tank on w@nk banks.

superflyweight wrote:Morning Tina.  

Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire swung the referendum for me, Rick.  It was when she pointed out the potential disastrous outcome of a inequitable currency union between a net exporter of oil on one hand and a net importer of oil on the other, that I had definitive proof that Salmond was a full blown idiot as well as a phucking bumhole.    

Super, I still use your description of Salmond (grinning like a painted hard boiled egg) to this day. I used it during my Christmas lunch with my brother. He nearly spat his haggis out in joy.

I claim that I made it up, but you should still take some credit.

Lovely stuff.

I missed the Jo uproar. What happened? Was she misquoted or abused by Salmond?

Sounds like she must have caused a stir. hee-haw-how!

Morning gents.

Morning sean, you must be devastated about page 3, trying to work out their genital hair must've been like Sudoku for you.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Morning Tina.  

Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire swung the referendum for me, Rick.  It was when she pointed out the potential disastrous outcome of a inequitable currency union between a net exporter of oil on one hand and a net importer of oil on the other, that I had definitive proof that Salmond was a full blown idiot as well as a phucking bumhole.    

Super, I still use your description of Salmond (grinning like a painted hard boiled egg) to this day.  I used it during my Christmas lunch with my brother.  He nearly spat his haggis out in joy.

I claim that I made it up, but you should still take some credit.

Lovely stuff.

Not sure if it was on here or in Viz but someone described him as a sad face drawn on a scrotum which I felt was pretty accurate too

Adam D wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Morning Tina.  

Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire swung the referendum for me, Rick.  It was when she pointed out the potential disastrous outcome of a inequitable currency union between a net exporter of oil on one hand and a net importer of oil on the other, that I had definitive proof that Salmond was a full blown idiot as well as a phucking bumhole.    

Super, I still use your description of Salmond (grinning like a painted hard boiled egg) to this day.  I used it during my Christmas lunch with my brother.  He nearly spat his haggis out in joy.

I claim that I made it up, but you should still take some credit.

Lovely stuff.

Not sure if it was on here or in Viz but someone described him as a sad face drawn on a scrotum which I felt was pretty accurate too

That's great! Can't have been anyone on here, it's way too amusing.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Adam D wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Morning Tina.  

Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire swung the referendum for me, Rick.  It was when she pointed out the potential disastrous outcome of a inequitable currency union between a net exporter of oil on one hand and a net importer of oil on the other, that I had definitive proof that Salmond was a full blown idiot as well as a phucking bumhole.    

Super, I still use your description of Salmond (grinning like a painted hard boiled egg) to this day.  I used it during my Christmas lunch with my brother.  He nearly spat his haggis out in joy.

I claim that I made it up, but you should still take some credit.

Lovely stuff.

Not sure if it was on here or in Viz but someone described him as a sad face drawn on a scrotum which I felt was pretty accurate too

That's great! Can't have been anyone on here, it's way too amusing.

Morning Tino. Thanks.

Adam wrote:Not sure if it was on here or in Viz but someone described him as a sad face drawn on a scrotum which I felt was pretty accurate too

I mentioned it but Stolen from Frankie Boyle

rick_dagless wrote:Morning sean, you must be devastated about page 3, trying to work out their genital hair must've been like Sudoku for you.

Not a reader of papers. Find the rustling quite annoying.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Morning Tino. Thanks.

Morning Julius.

I've broken with the 80's tradition this morning. I hope it meets with your satisfaction.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Morning Tino. Thanks.

Morning Julius.

I've broken with the 80's tradition this morning.  I hope it meets with your satisfaction.

It's not ideal is it? If I could turn back time...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Morning Tina.  

Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire swung the referendum for me, Rick.  It was when she pointed out the potential disastrous outcome of a inequitable currency union between a net exporter of oil on one hand and a net importer of oil on the other, that I had definitive proof that Salmond was a full blown idiot as well as a phucking bumhole.    

Super, I still use your description of Salmond (grinning like a painted hard boiled egg) to this day.  I used it during my Christmas lunch with my brother.  He nearly spat his haggis out in joy.

I claim that I made it up, but you should still take some credit.

Lovely stuff.

I don't mind influencing a young comedian - you're not a comedian - but I usually credit someone if I use their comedy.

I once went out with a lass who had previously been out with a mate of mine, and when I tried all my best jokes on her she had already heard them and he had told her that he made them up. Sod.

I've got hundreds of these little stories, hundreds.

There are limits to my comedy. There are things that I'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go 'ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced.' Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he's not, it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Morning Tina.  

Jo aged 24 from Staffordshire swung the referendum for me, Rick.  It was when she pointed out the potential disastrous outcome of a inequitable currency union between a net exporter of oil on one hand and a net importer of oil on the other, that I had definitive proof that Salmond was a full blown idiot as well as a phucking bumhole.    

Super, I still use your description of Salmond (grinning like a painted hard boiled egg) to this day.  I used it during my Christmas lunch with my brother.  He nearly spat his haggis out in joy.

I claim that I made it up, but you should still take some credit.

Lovely stuff.

I don't mind influencing a young comedian - you're not a comedian - but I usually credit someone if I use their comedy.  

Quite often the amateur will upstage the pro.

Tino wrote:Quite often the amateur will upstage the pro.

And michaels the thread...

He deserves it. So far today he has :-
1. Said none of us are funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 70s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes

What a c*nt.

Fair points Jules, maybe we should just do what he normally does to sean, and to go on another thread to discuss things he would normally discuss here, to make sean think he has michaelsed the thread... C*nt

JuliusHMarx wrote:He deserves it. So far today he has :-
1. Said none of us are funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 70s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes

What a c*nt.

1 isn't quite what I said.

The rest of your post is extremely accurate.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:He deserves it. So far today he has :-
1. Said none of us are funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 70s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes

What a c*nt.

1 isn't quite what I said.

The rest of your post is extremely accurate.

No it isn't, your lyrics are from the 60s.

C*nt.

Union Cane wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:He deserves it. So far today he has :-
1. Said none of us are funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 70s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes

What a c*nt.

1 isn't quite what I said.

The rest of your post is extremely accurate.

No it isn't, your lyrics are from the 60s.

C*nt.

Nope. I was thinking of the little known version from Rusty Bringsteel who released his effort in 1974. Julius knew that.

The rest of your post is extremely accurate.

I'm going to try a batchelor's curry super noodle in bread rolls at lunch. Will report back shortly

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:He deserves it. So far today he has :-
1. Said none of us are funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 70s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes

What a c*nt.

1 isn't quite what I said.

The rest of your post is extremely accurate.

Not really, the lyric is from Son of A Preacher Man, which featured on Dusty In Memphis, which was released in 1969. As such the lyric is a 60s rather than 70s lyric.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:He deserves it. So far today he has :-
1. Said none of us are funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 70s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes

What a c*nt.

1 isn't quite what I said.

The rest of your post is extremely accurate.

Not really, the lyric is from Son of A Preacher Man, which featured on Dusty In Memphis, which was released in 1969. As such the lyric is a 60s rather than 70s lyric.

Really? Who'da thunk it.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:He deserves it. So far today he has :-
1. Said none of us are funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 70s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes

What a c*nt.

1 isn't quite what I said.

The rest of your post is extremely accurate.

Not really, the lyric is from Son of A Preacher Man, which featured on Dusty In Memphis, which was released in 1969. As such the lyric is a 60s rather than 70s lyric.

For your first post of the day, that was f*cking hopeless.

I've already discussed this with Cane.

White baguettes with Cheese, coleslaw and pickle, Pot of fruit and a couple of cans of coke.







I'm feeling sick.

Super noodle rolls were very average.

So far today he has :-
1. Implied that none of us are very funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 60s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes
4. Insulted Jeff.

I can only assume his 6 year old has punched him in the mouth again.

JuliusHMarx wrote:So far today he has :-
1. Implied that none of us are very funny.
2. Arbitrarily changed from 80s to 60s lyrics in his location
3. Admitted to stealing fly's jokes
4. Insulted Jeff.

I can only assume his 6 year old has punched him in the mouth again.

So far today you have :-

1. Posted something incorrect
2. Become strangely over sensitive
3. Become strangely over sensitive
4. Insulted me

I can only assume you've forgotten where you left your pipe or something.

And he isn't 6.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

And he isn't 6.

He's 7

Can cut through the sexual tension on here with a knife.

superflyweight wrote:Can cut through the sexual tension on here with a knife.  

You really can.

I can never tell with Jules. Is he really upset or is he playing hard to get?

I hope think he may be grooming me.

I could probably put up with all of it, even the 60s lyrics, but it was the "Can't have been anyone on here, it's way too amusing." that got to me Tino. It really did. I am nothing without my reputation.