The Azzrentice - Task 1

First topic message reminder :

Good morning.

You stand here before me, the brightest and best fake online football managers the country has to offer. One of you will be walking away with prestige. Bragging rights. A title to echo throughout the fake online football management ages. I am looking for someone with a rich knowledge of the history of our beautiful game. Someone who understands how to play the game, Someone who has the brains to get behind the football and into the business. And most importantly, someone who knows what fans of the game want, and how to grow and expand the game to even greater heights.

For the first task I am going to split you into two teams. Team 1 will have three managers - Viva, Marky and Nando. Team 2 will have the other three managers - GSC, Trebs and Miky.

The first task has three components. First, I want you to name your teams and give me sound reasoning as to why you have chosen that name. I don't want to hear silly names like 'Team Januzaj the diver' or 'Team Scholes the greatest player ever'. I want a name that you feel represents everything that is great about our game.

Second, you must elect a team manager. Choose wisely, choose effectively.

Finally, the meat of the task. Having dispensed with the veg, you will now sit down and craft me a vision for the future. The future of the global game. I want your teams to give me a strategy for FIFA. A blueprint to the improvement of our game. In 2015 there will be a vote on who will be the next leader of FIFA. I want your team to tell me what its plan would be. It can cover any aspect of football - business, grass roots development, profit sharing, anything - but you must limit ourselves to five points only. I also want an explanation of how you would practically go about implementing your five points, and how you would pay for them.

Submissions must be handed in by midnight next Monday 23 March. I'll see you in my Boardroom on Tuesday and I can tell you now that on the losing team, one of you will be fired.

I sense some bribing has occurred in this task.........

Nando, the ship is in a dry dock, raised 3m off the ground by steel supports. It would take a major earthquake to sink it

Task 2 posted. Enjoy. Wish I was doing it.

Marky, I have an idea, if you can promise to be neutral. Can you?

Nando has nothing to gain from defending me, its just that obvious Viva failed to lead our team and yet someone else is fired. Its nonsense.

Azzy wrote:Marky, I have an idea, if you can promise to be neutral. Can you?

Depends what you want, I can always be neutral.

I want you to admit you were wrong to fire me Azzy, admit you were too soft on Viva even though his mistakes led to me being punished, and only then will I accept my wrongful dismissal.

Not happening. If you hadn't come up with that God-awful name, and instead been sensible, you'd still be here. You have no-one to blame but yourself.

God awful? It was clever, witty and also serious. Maybe you having zero sense of humour was the problem. That and how Viva has obviously been pencilled in to win his first ever Azzrenrice.

Marky I was very clear in the brief - I don't want to hear silly names like 'Team Januzaj the diver' or 'Team Scholes the greatest player ever'. I want a name that you feel represents everything that is great about our game. Clear as stone. When it's a humourous task, I'll ask for humour. I assumed you'd realise this was a serious task then I said 'I don't want to hear silly names'. And if that's the mark of cleverness, or of witticism, then mankind is doomed

And had it not been for Viva forgetting to include Team Pele then my funny suggestion wouldn't have been an issue. So why am I penalised? You're ducking this repeatedly. Viva was deducted a point for forgetting, why was I also deducted a point for his mistake?

To be fair, if they didn't use the name, does it matter

As far as you should have been concerned, we had no name because Viva didn't include one. So why was I penalised?

Nando posted the team name. Ask him. But face up to it, if you hadn't spent the first day of the task looking for ways to explain the acronym, you'd not be in this position. You could have focussed on making your proposals better - you'd be through. You could have stepped up to project manage - you'd be through. You could have left the team name to the others, ducked it but not been tarred with it - you'd be through. Your failure to focus on the task at hand was the reason for your demise. Blame others all you want, it's classic Mourinho tactics from an obviously-closet Chelsea fan.

Still haven't answered my question and resorting to childish insults. Shambles.

If you can't handle tough but fair questions on your own decisions, why are you running this?

Also you've clearly underscored my work, my two parts were much better than Viva's one part, which was a cop out anyway.

I did put in serious effort when I had to and you mock me because you already know who is winning.

How have I underscored your parts? I've already said if this was the final Trebs was the winner, so how does that favour Viva? Your points don't stack up.

I did twice as much work as Viva and was scored the same.

You still wont answer why I was penalised for Viva's mistake?

Proposals were given marks out of 3, 1 for concept, 1 for implementation plan, 1 for financing.

Viva's proposal scored 2, 1 for concept (strong), 1 for implementation plan (told me what was going to be done). Add those 2 points to his 1 for team name and 1 for stepping up to be manager, and he has four points.

Your proposals about World Cup hosting and racism:

Hosting - I didn't like your dismissal of Africa for hosting World Cups. It was even more bizarre to suggest a co-hosted World Cup between NORTH AMERICA and AFRICA. Regardless of what you meant, I honestly read it as meaning co-hosting across several thousand miles of water. A mistake on your part.
1 - concept, 0 - implementation, 0 - financing

Racism - You didn't tell me how much the fines would be for racism - is £10k large or £10m? I didn’t like the vagueness of funds going back to fifa’s accounts either – why not put the fines to specific use such as putting it into the world’s poorest nations to assist with venues or programmes? If you fine PSG £10m for racism, does that affect FFP? What legal scope is there for challenging it? What would you do if challenged?
1 - concept, 1 - implementation, 0 - financing

So you scored 3 points in total. Now I was actually generous to you and Nando giving you one point for electing Viva as task manager. He stepped in, wanted it more, in hindsight I should have given him one more point than you two on that. But I didn't.

Marky wrote:I did twice as much work as Viva and was scored the same.

You still wont answer why I was penalised for Viva's mistake?

Viva scored an average of 2/3 for his proposals. You scored an average of 1.5/3.

The mistake was threefold: you, for coming up with the name. Viva, for forgetting to post the actual team name, and Nando for posting the team name you selected. Viva and Nando wouldn't have been able to stitch you up had you not dreamed up that team name. If this meant so much to you, why did you do it?

Even taking into account your harsh scoring of my work and generous scoring of Viva's, if I wasn't punished for his mistake we'd have the same points. But you keep avoiding that one.

It wasn't threefold. Viva decided the name was Team Pele and we all agreed. He forgot to include it and you penalised me.

Still crying Marky?

I've foed you Viva, so I cant see what you posted.

I can only go on what was presented Marky. Your team name was presented and that was your downfall. If you could face up to that, realise we'd be off having kunch right now if you'd never had that idea, then we'd all be better off.

Foeing people, I used to love those days

I did already take full responsibility for the name, but you gave me 50% of the blame for Viva's mistake. Which isn't fair and you know it.

No, Viva lost 1 point for not posting the team name. If he had, he'd have had 5points and you and Nando would be on 4pts.

I posted this on your team page:

"Although the team name is for the entire competition, not just this task. So calling yourself Team Fifa's Department of Justice may not be particularly suitable for future tasks."

So on the task page and on your own page, it was very clear - don't be silly.

I'm finished, I was never more than slightly annoyed, but my points remain valid.

Unfortunately I'm done with this (like everyone else who isn't participating, and I can see why).

I wont be helping out in the final or taking part in future versions due to your mismanagement.

Fine, I'll quit the whole league, Trebs can take this over. Goodbye.

Goodbye my darling,
I will miss thy sensual bosom,
The stars will remember,
But the sun will still rise..........

PRAISE THE SUN!

Marky first of all I understand why you are annoyed and I get that you don’t want to be involved anymore and if that’s your decision then that’s fine. What I will say is that ultimately it is just a game and I wouldn’t want to be sacked either but you are a cool guy and you can handle it I feel.

Azzy don’t go anywhere, it’s a good, fun game and it brings more activity to our section of the forum.

Can we just end this now? What’s done is done now and it’s clear that Azzy is happy with his decision so let’s move on.

I agree with Miky but I'd like to add that Marky foed me because I owned his ass on the Azzrentice.

I'd like an apology from Marky.

Koba wrote:I agree with Miky  but I'd like to add that Marky foed me because I owned his ass on the Azzrentice.

I never actually foe'd you

Koba wrote:I'd like an apology from Marky.

I am truly sorry that you sucked off Azzy to keep yourself from being fired...

It's not me you need to say sorry to it's Azzy and you better get him back.

Marky wrote:

Koba wrote:I'd like an apology from Marky.

I am truly sorry that you sucked off Azzy to keep yourself from being fired...

Who edited my comment?

Koba wrote:It's not me you need to say sorry to it's Azzy and you better get him back.

Azzy, I'm sorry you fired me when it should have been Viva.

Marky wrote:

Marky wrote:

Koba wrote:I'd like an apology from Marky.

I am truly sorry that you sucked off Azzy to keep yourself from being fired...

Who edited my comment?

Awww did you want to suck Azzy off Nando?

You have to wait until I'm done

Marky wrote:

Marky wrote:

Koba wrote:I'd like an apology from Marky.

I am truly sorry that you sucked off Azzy to keep yourself from being fired...

Who edited my comment?

I figured it was best to be honest about how you really felt Marky

If Azzy's actually quit the game, then good. Serves him right for making the wrong decision. But it would be spineless of him to leave everyone else in the lurch.

His quit the whole league not just the Azzrentice.

Marky to run the Azzrentice

Out of interest, whose ideas where the stock exchange one and the one to give European WC places to the African teams?

Viva are you taking part in the next round? We have a page up already.

Afro wrote:Out of interest, whose ideas where the stock exchange one and the one to give European WC places to the African teams?

Nando the buffoon.

Not as bad as Marky hosting the WC in North America and Africa

Holymiky wrote:Viva are you taking part in the next round? We have a page up already.

Of course I am. Thank you for informing me.

No problem.

Koba wrote:

Afro wrote:Out of interest, whose ideas where the stock exchange one and the one to give European WC places to the African teams?

Nando the buffoon.

Not as bad as Marky hosting the WC in North America and Africa

That's because Azzy mis-read it. You also had the option to edit and post what I wrote so if it was that bad...

I said when it's the turn of North America, we could allow bids from Africa so there's more options and the host country will either be from North America or Africa. Like they do now with North America/Oceania. Perfectly normal. Azzy taking that as co-hosts to be Canada and Cameroon is a massive heads gone.

I don't care. I'm drinking a banana yazoo and snicker duo laughing.

Koba wrote:I don't care. I'm drinking a banana yazoo and snicker duo laughing.

Banana Yazoo, drink of champions