The Azzrentice - Task 2

Good afternoon. The five of you remain in this competition and I hope it's clear to you all that I mean business. I will not tolerate foolish ideas or childish remarks. I want an Azzrentice, not a court jester.

Today you begin Task 2 of this year's competition. As you already know, Nando will manage Trebs in Team Pele, and GSC will manage Miky and Viva in Team Integrity.

This week's task is one that you will all enjoy, a classic task that brings out the fondest memories for all Azzrentice fans.

I am going to give you $6bn. With that $6bn, I want you to build a new football team. From scratch. I expect the following:

- Select which of the major professional leagues you want to play in, and why. I will arrange for your team to be placed into the top division of whichever country you select.
- Choose a team name that reflects well on the city, town or region you have decided to be based in
- Build a stadium, youth facilities, everything a club needs to be a success
- Buy a squad of players, bearing in mind FFP. Use TM values for all players.
- Bring in your own staff, manager, coaches etc
- With all this, you need to keep in mind that you will need to ensure once the money is spent, the club looks after itself - wages, sponsorship, tv money, everything has to balance (or at least comply with FFP)

From the losing team, at least one of you will be fired.

Why is the currency in dollars It would be easier if it was in pounds surely.

Shambles.

It was deliberate Nadeem. It's to test their business acumen.

Shambles.

Marky clearly has dyslexia. It's spelt s-o-u-r g-r-a-p-e-s mate.

Shambles.

It was funny once, now it's irking me. Pack it in.

Shambles.

Nando we can discuss this via pm if you want? For transparenxy, we can post the history along with our solution to the task?

RIGHT GUYS I WILL BE CO-JUDGING WITH AZZY TO BRING FAIRNESS AND EQUALITY BACK INTO THE APPRENTICE. I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY 'SUCKING' OF ANY KIND!

Not happening. If you wanted in, you should have signed up.

I'm only offering because we don't want the fiasco that just happened to occur again in this task azzy. It will be beneficial for you to have me as your co-judge. No one will moan about biased voting then.

There was no fiasco. Marky took his sacking like a baby, everyone was wumming because we don't get enough opportunity to do so anymore, and Task 2 is underway smoothly. If you want in, make yourself available for the final

I'll co-judge the final with you azzy. I will bring virtue, honour, prestige and elegance back into the apprentice!

Do we count our team as starting this season or next?

Start of next season. Good question GSC.

Can I also assume the stadium and facilities are going to be put up over the summer or do I have to hire the people building the Qatar stadiums

Again, good question. Assume for the purposes of this task that you can build the entire stadium and all facilities ready for pre-season training, at normal cost. Call it the price of doing Azzrentice business.

Azzy can you answer my question of my page please

Would we be penalized for it?

Hey all, I apologise, especially to my team as I'm going to have to drop out of the competition as I have a lot more work on this week and I am quite busy on the weekend as I have a stag do to go to so probably won't get any time to take part so I'm going to duck out.

Miky, you are not allowed to drop out of the competition. You have a legally binding contract to take part.

So...

YOU'RE FIRED!

GSC and Viva will now face Nando and Trebs for places in the Final. The winning team will face each other in next week's Final and the losing team will see both competitors fired. This has become a very important task for both teams.

Shortest Azzprentice ever

Shambles.

Holymiky wrote:I have a stag do to go to

Perfectly fair, Azzy should stop being so harsh.

GSC - fewest contestants ever, we once had 12 taking part. If I'd have known Miky was going to be a lightweight I'd have made this week's task a different one and made it a 1-on-1-on-1-on-1 task to drag it out a bit.

Marky - I don't even understand what you mean. He wanted to quit, so I fired him

Azzy wrote:GSC - fewest contestants ever, we once had 12 taking part. If I'd have known Miky was going to be a lightweight I'd have made this week's task a different one and made it a 1-on-1-on-1-on-1 task to drag it out a bit.

Marky - I don't even understand what you mean. He wanted to quit, so I fired him

Excuses excuses

Excuses for what? If you're going to wum at least do it right

To add to the importance the stag do is for my Mums fiancé.

Call me what you like Azzy but I thought I would exit now rather than not saying anything and not doing the work.

Have we got a deadline on this task?

Azzy wrote:Excuses for what? If you're going to wum at least do it right

Who's wumming? I made a joke that Miky going on a stag do should be a valid excuse to keep him in.

Stop being so precious

Same as last week Trebs, midnight on Monday night.

Miky, I take it you get on well with the guy? I couldn't imagine going on a stag do with my step dad, it would have ended with him dead and me in jail for life.

He's a very nice guy, I'm glad my Mum met him, she deserves to be with someone like him.

Wow. You're lucky. My stepdad used to call me a d-head when I was aged 10 just because I supported a different football team. That stopped when I grew bigger than him but even now, he makes the odd snide remark. He and my mum visited last year at one point and I kicked him out of my house for being rude to my wife. Consider yourself blessed if this guy is legit.

I just want to clarify - the purchase of your team to begin the season with won't be included in FFP calculations. Only operations from Day 1 - wages, income, costs etc.

Azzy wrote:Wow. You're lucky. My stepdad used to call me a d-head when I was aged 10 just because I supported a different football team. That stopped when I grew bigger than him but even now, he makes the odd snide remark. He and my mum visited last year at one point and I kicked him out of my house for being rude to my wife. Consider yourself blessed if this guy is legit.

I'm sorry but I found that too funny.

You think verbally abusing 10 year old children is funny? Thank God you repel women, I wouldn't want some poor kid to have you as a father.

Azzy wrote:You think verbally abusing 10 year old children is funny? Thank God you repel women, I wouldn't want some poor kid to have you as a father.

No, I find Azzy Mahmood getting verbally abused funny not any old 10 year old.

No-one submitted anything. You're all fired.

Shambles