The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Send us the link and I'll pick some up on payday. Need to do a lost of lone shifts and a few books would break the monotony nicely.

It's not a physical bookshop - you won't be able to bomb it.

I know my friends but we also do a nice line in hacking small websites to show off our sophistication

It doesn't matter Rick, you're a fully paid up and ratified member from back in the day when Tina used to actually pay attention to these things and as such a trifling matter such as when you arrive in the morning is beneath you.

Day off today, plumber coming round in a bit. Have already had to clean the bathroom, he better be on time and not here long enough to interrupt my meticulously planned w@nking schedule.

Don't like to boast, especially when so many up north have so little, but recently had a tornado-strength airblade installed in the 1st floor toilets (work not home). My hands are so satisfyingly dry that small cracks are starting to appear on my palms.

Thanks Jeff, Tino really has lost the plot...

Day off or WFH?

Most of the films I have seen involving plumbers involve quite a lot of w@nking in them to be fair. Albeit they are usually gentlements art films, and they rarely seem to fix anything.

We have a towel, a towel that someone occasionally remembers to take home and clean.

rick_dagless wrote:Thanks Jeff, Tino really has lost the plot...

Day off or WFH?  

Most of the films I have seen involving plumbers involve quite a lot of w@nking in them to be fair.  Albeit they are usually gentlements art films, and they rarely seem to fix anything.

I don't work from home Rick, maybe it is just the folk I would with but in my experience it is a euphemism for "I have miscalculated my holiday days but really need tomorrow off, I'll check my emails once in the morning, and once in the afternoon and deal with the urgent stuff" I hate working from home, either have a day off or come to work.

We solve the drying issue by having no running water...

Jeff wrote:I don't work from home Rick, maybe it is just the folk I would with but in my experience it is a euphemism for "I have miscalculated my holiday days but really need tomorrow off, I'll check my emails once in the morning, and once in the afternoon and deal with the urgent stuff" I hate working from home, either have a day off or come to work.

Couldn't agree more Jeff, also I like to have a clear division between work and home... Most lazy bar stewards in work claim they concentrate more at home, I call bull5h1t personally.

Rowley wrote:We have a towel, a towel that someone occasionally remembers to take home and clean.

Towels can be cool.

I have a towel.

Wife told me that a bloke she hates with a passion got done for fiddling his time whilst working from home and delighted in telling everyone she knew about what a **** he is for doing it. Tragically the person who first told her was clearly not listening to the original conversation as it transpires it wasn't him at all. She's now waiting for the massive post-slander fallout!!!!

I hate my job, the people I work with and the people I work for (apparently, the citizens of West Yorkshire). To be fair, I hate myself as well but am too lazy to get another job, make efforts to play nicely with my colleagues, be pleasant to folk in general ('cept Tina, he's my favourite) or take any form of self improvement course/stop being a miserable ****.

Basically I'm stuck with it until I die

Just to be clear, I am not losing the plot on the admission system. It’s all under control.

GrumpyG*lfer’s application is ongoing but the fact he has handed Galted and Shah their rather large backsides in very few posts means he has an excellent chance of becoming a full member.

Dolphin is already a full member. A massive bummer, but a full member nonetheless.

Hibbz would be a member but he is too infrequent a visitor and too much of a lazy bastard to fill in the form. He is a bummer as well, although not quite as big a bummer as Dolphin.

Raf is Raf and will therefore be an associate member forever.

On the plus side DAVE you get to work in Bradford, and music is getting better these days...

Cheery start to the day....... I had the joy of driving around the m25 last night to the ar5e end of K*nt. Left work at 4 and got home at 9.30. Luckily I had half a bottle of white, 1 cider, half a bottle of red and one unwatched episode of the Vikings to settle me down.

rick_dagless wrote:Thanks Jeff, Tino really has lost the plot...

Day off or WFH?  

Most of the films I have seen involving plumbers involve quite a lot of w@nking in them to be fair.  Albeit they are usually gentlements art films, and they rarely seem to fix anything.

I cant remember anything like that in the Bob Hoskins Super Mario film

I think there is a plumber in Last An@l Hero.

Adam wrote:I cant remember anything like that in the Bob Hoskins Super Mario film

DVD extras Adam

rick_dagless wrote:

Adam wrote:I cant remember anything like that in the Bob Hoskins Super Mario film

DVD extras Adam

If only Helen Mirren had been in it

Morning all.

Big match tonight, we'll all be watching I presume?

Grimsby in play offs?

Vanarama, vanarama, we're the ones you need to trust! (to the tume of no surrender to the IRA).

seanmichaels wrote:Grimsby in play offs?

Yes indeed.

UTM!

We p*ss on your fish, yes we do.

Posh spice is a slapper, she wears a wonderbra,
And when she's sh@gging Beckham she thinks of Ginola.....

seanmichaels wrote:Posh spice is a slapper, she wears a wonderbra,
And when she's sh@gging Beckham she thinks of Ginola.....

Tweedy is a slapper
She cannae f*cking sing
And when she's sh*gging Ashley
She thinks of Ledley King

I thought the whole Cheryl Cole marriage thing was a sham to prove she isn't racist and he isn't gay?

has anyone here heard that travolta is supposed to be a bummer? missus reckons it is GOSPEL. and Richard Gere as well.

seanmichaels wrote:has anyone here heard that travolta is supposed to be a bummer? missus reckons it is GOSPEL. and Richard Gere as well.

Both those rumours going around for years. Richard Gere rumour centred around a gerbil I believe.

I reckon Alan Carr could be one.

Adam D wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:has anyone here heard that travolta is supposed to be a bummer? missus reckons it is GOSPEL. and Richard Gere as well.

Both those rumours going around for years. Richard Gere rumour centred around a gerbil I believe.

... and Travolta's rumor centered around lost keys to his Boeing 707 jet I believe.

and travolta is a complete slaphead?

And Stephen Fry's husband is a bit dodge.

Galted wrote:And Stephen Fry's husband is a bit dodge.

I heard a rumour he was into nougat honey logs in a big, big way.

And Galted has his shopping delivered at the back door.

GOSPEL.

London's crawling with gays. There could be as many as 8 or even 9.

Galted wrote:London's crawling with gays. There could be as many as 8 or even 9.

per square foot or metre?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And Galted has his shopping delivered at the back door.

GOSPEL.

Well I shouldn't be allowed near animals then.

I wonder how Jules' Sybase Unwired Platform exam is going. Or maybe he's still cramming?

I wish him a lot of Linux anyway.

I worry for him, as the Sybase Unwired Platform is not called the Sybase Unwired Platform any more, in fact since April 2013 the Sybase Unwired Platform has been known as the SAP Mobile Platform.

Union Cane wrote:I worry for him, as the Sybase Unwired Platform is not called the Sybase Unwired Platform any more, in fact since April 2013 the Sybase Unwired Platform has been known as the SAP Mobile Platform.

Yeah, I was thinking that as well.

Tino wrote:Yeah, I was thinking that as well.

Well you sure weren't thinking about a more robust application proceedure to the cup...

Bugger off Tiña.

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Yeah, I was thinking that as well.

Well you sure weren't thinking about a more robust application proceedure to the cup...

I've explained fully the current open applications. I can't do any more than I have.

I'm thinking of handing over the stewardship for a while when I get the music cup up and running next week.

I was going to offer it to Jeff on a temporary basis but it appears he is busy moonlighting in 1980's porn movies today.

Fair enough mate, is the music cup happening then?

Wonder if Jeff has had an awkward misunderstanding with the hired help yet?

rick_dagless wrote:Fair enough mate, is the music cup happening then?

Wonder if Jeff has had an awkward misunderstanding with the hired help yet?

I'm going to throw it open to anyone that wants to take part on Monday. Once I have a enough people, I will start it up. It will follow the same process as the Culture Cup (remember that?) but maybe I'll shorten it to 208 weeks rather than 614.

I think Jeff is having his pipes unblocked as we speak.

Jeff will be furtively glancing at the Grattans catalogue under the coffee table, counting down the minutes until the plumber leaves.

He must be starting to feel a little drained by now.

Union Cane wrote:Jeff will be furtively glancing at the Grattans catalogue under the coffee table, counting down the minutes until the plumber leaves.

He's probably watching him like a hawk so his copper doesn't go missing. I have a vision of Rowley impatiently standing there hand on hips with a pink stain on the groin area of his trousers while the plumber simultaneously tries not to look and tries not to get aroused by the scent of radox

Those undissolved Radox crystals can cause havoc to plumbing systems.

Shah wrote:He's probably watching him like a hawk so his copper doesn't go missing. I have a vision of Rowley impatiently standing there hand on hips with a pink stain on the groin area of his trousers while the plumber simultaneously tries not to look and tries not to get aroused by the scent of radox

Looking on with interest as Jeff extracts a cheque book from his man bag

ShahenshahG wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Jeff will be furtively glancing at the Grattans catalogue under the coffee table, counting down the minutes until the plumber leaves.

He's probably watching him like a hawk so his copper doesn't go missing. I have a vision of Rowley impatiently standing there hand on hips with a pink stain on the groin area of his trousers while the plumber simultaneously tries not to look and tries not to get aroused by the scent of radox

He doesn't wear trousers, he wears a bin liner.

I thought all plumbing porn was g@y? You-benders should know all about that.

He's probably showing the plumber his black-spot where the Villa tattoo used to exist.