The guide - To surviving a Slasher movie !!

1. If you're black don't accept a role in it...

2. If you have a sex scene in the movie don't accept a role in it...

3. If the killer is after you tell him you're a virgin....

4. If you're the biggest name then sign for the part.....It's going to be OK !!

5. If your character looks wholesome, Is not a virgin and is pretty unassuming.........Don't sign as you'll be doing life for mass murder in Leavenworth !!

6. Screw the director !!.............If he's male, You aren't the star and you aren't gay......Could be a problem !!...

7. Don't run upstairs........Convention dictates it's stupid and you'll only have seconds to live !!..

8. Don't go into a dark house shouting your boyfriend's name !!........He's been wasted and the killer now knows where you are !!..

9. Stay away from anybody wholesome... that isn't a virgin and is pretty unassuming !!!.

10. The person with the mask and machete is probably not looking to make friends with you !!..

If you are considering a role in a slasher movie..........Just remember the above and you'll probably live to thank me....

To nick one from Eddy Murphy, if a voice says "get out!" then get the f*ck out.