Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread IX

by **George Carlin** Sun 14 Jun 2015, 8:16 am

Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread IX - Page 7 Patek10

Players In
William Helu from Wasps
Nasi Manu from Highlanders
Nathan Fowles from Sale Sharks
Michael Allen from Ulster
Jack Cosgrove from Worcester Warriors

Players Out
Tom Heathcote to Worcester Warriors
Grayson Hart to Glasgow Warriors
Ollie Atkins to Exeter Chiefs
Tim Visser to Harlequins

B. Glasgow (2015-2016)
Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread IX - Page 7 Flik_f10

Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread IX - Page 7 Flik_f10

Players In
Simone Favaro from Benetton Treviso
Grayson Hart from Edinburgh
Kieran Low from London Irish
Mike Blair from Newcastle Falcons
Sam Johnson from Queensland Reds
Greg Peterson from Leicester Tigers
Taqele Naiyaravoro from NSW Waratahs
Javan Sebastian from Carmarthen Quins

Players Out
Nikola Matawalu to Bath Rugby
Sean Maitland to London Irish
D.T.H. van der Merwe to Scarlets
Dougie Hall retired
Jon Welsh to Newcastle Falcons
Alastair Kellock retired
Murray McConnell to Nottingham
James Downey to Wasps
Tommy Spinks to Jersey
Euan Murray to Pau
Connor Braid released

by jimbopip Mon 13 Jul 2015, 3:07 pm

George, no-one on these boards has ever suspected you of doing anything for comic effect.

George Carlin wrote:
If I was Duncan Weir, I would be looking along the M8..

Although, the idea that Meatball would want to leave the Champions for a place in the knitting pattern models' retirement home is almost as funny as the idea that the MFL pack is anything other than the third best in Scotland. (Fourth best ifwe include Ayr Ladies under 12's)

by cp10 Mon 13 Jul 2015, 3:19 pm

George Carlin wrote:Jeez - Fraser McKenzie, eh? Has there been a more absent player for Edinburgh?

Did you not see Fraser McKenzie lifting the 1872 Cup?

by tigertattie Mon 13 Jul 2015, 3:34 pm

I'm nailing my colours to the mast

I bet you Bru's stones that Edinburgh retain the 1872 cup this year!

If you listen to anything Schitz says, Al Kellock is the greatest player ever to have lived on earth and without him, the unwashed will struggle!

That and the soap dodging squad has had a bit of a pilfering this year and the replacements don't look like being of the same quality as the departing players!

by funnyExiledScot Mon 13 Jul 2015, 5:37 pm

jimbopip wrote:George, no-one on these boards has ever suspected you of doing anything for comic effect.

George Carlin wrote:
If I was Duncan Weir, I would be looking along the M8..

Although, the idea that Meatball would want to leave the Champions for a place in the knitting pattern models' retirement home is almost as funny as the idea that the MFL pack is anything other than the third best in Scotland. (Fourth best ifwe include Ayr Ladies under 12's)

Don't worry, we wouldn't take him anyway. Chunkier than Chunk, slower than Laney, with the decision making skills of Good Godman, with the kicking accuracy of Heathcote v.2015 and with the acceleration of Ben Atiga, suffice to say you can keep him!

He's basically a bad version of Dan Parks.

by IanBru Mon 13 Jul 2015, 6:33 pm

funnyExiledScot wrote:
jimbopip wrote:George, no-one on these boards has ever suspected you of doing anything for comic effect.

George Carlin wrote:
If I was Duncan Weir, I would be looking along the M8..

Although, the idea that Meatball would want to leave the Champions for a place in the knitting pattern models' retirement home is almost as funny as the idea that the MFL pack is anything other than the third best in Scotland. (Fourth best ifwe include Ayr Ladies under 12's)

Don't worry, we wouldn't take him anyway. Chunkier than Chunk, slower than Laney, with the decision making skills of Good Godman, with the kicking accuracy of Heathcote v.2015 and with the acceleration of Ben Atiga, suffice to say you can keep him!

He's basically a bad version of Dan Parks.

That's like describing me as a less intelligent version of John Locke, a less talented version of Miles Davis, and a less attractive version of Ryan Gosling.

by jimbopip Mon 13 Jul 2015, 6:41 pm

Speaking of John Locke, you don't have to be one of the finest philosophers England has produced to notice an interesting flaw in the argument FES has woven.

The four negative examples Fester cites are all former Luvvies (although Chunk has to be forgiven the mental aberration of not escaping west with big Al to his true spiritual home) and the one positive example is a Glasgow alumni.

Is this a sign of self-lathing or a subconscious acceptance that the MFL really are...well Luvvies?

As I've said before Fester join us on the west side, you know you want to. And now so do we.

by jimbopip Mon 13 Jul 2015, 6:47 pm

jimbopip wrote:Speaking of John Locke, you don't have to be one of the finest philosophers England has produced to notice an interesting flaw in the argument FES has woven.

The four negative examples Fester cites are all former Luvvies (although Chunk has to be forgiven the mental aberration of not escaping west with big Al to his true spiritual home) and the one positive example is a Glasgow alumni.

Is this a sign of self-loathing or a subconscious acceptance that the MFL really are...well Luvvies?

As I've said before Fester join us on the west side, you know you want to. And now so do we.

by funnyExiledScot Mon 13 Jul 2015, 8:35 pm

Guys, you've busted me. I do have a cardboard cut out of Dan Parks in my room, plus a statue of Kellock running in my garden. At least I think it's a statue.

I do plan to visit Scotstoun next season as I'm ashamed to say I've never been. I've heard that you drink cheap beer in a gymnasium, are based miles from the centre of town and have no parking, and the locals torch any car worth more than £300 even if you do find a space. Still, you have a couple of quality players in Lee Jones, Grayson Hart and Hugh Blake.

by **George Carlin** Tue 14 Jul 2015, 9:00 am

You should definitely come to Scotstoun, FES.

You can park your sedan chair and 8 staff outside, you can sit next to Schiz and his carer and we'll order you a bottle of the finest 2014 Chateaux Nuit Saint Andy Henderson and 4 plastic glasses to await you in the scout hut at half time.

You'll fit right in.

Well, actually, that's obviously not true but you will have a good time. Just remember, boys and girls look the same in a puffer jacket, 3 scarves, a wooly hat and insulated Kappa tracksuit bottoms.

by jimbopip Tue 14 Jul 2015, 9:08 am

George Carlin wrote:You should definitely come to Scotstoun, FES.

You can park your sedan chair and 8 staff outside, you can sit next to Schiz and his carer and we'll order you a bottle of the finest 2014 Chateaux Nuit Saint Andy Henderson and 4 plastic glasses to await you in the scout hut at half time.

You'll fit right in.

Well, actually, that's obviously not true but you will have a good time. Just remember, boys and girls look the same ~~in a puffer jacket, 3 scarves, a wooly hat and insulated Kappa tracksuit bottoms~~.When you have spent your formative years at a very expensive boarding school.

Fixed that for you GC. Whistle

by tigertattie Tue 14 Jul 2015, 9:36 am

Interesting fact!

Half of the current glasgow squad have never lifted the 1872 cup!

by jimbopip Tue 14 Jul 2015, 10:08 am

tigertattie wrote:Interesting fact!

Half of the current glasgow squad have never lifted the 1872 cup!YET

I could do this all day.

by Majestic83 Tue 14 Jul 2015, 12:19 pm

Remember the highly recommended young stand off that was signed to solve all Edinburgh's problems at Stand off a couple years back Piers Francis?

Well after leaving and going to I am not sure where. He has ended up back in New Zealand and has been named in Counties Manukau ITM squad and is likely to be their starting 10. Not only that but he is in the Chiefs wider training squad again.

Was surprised to read that he has managed to get a contract out there again at such a high level considering how poor he was at Edinburgh. In a few recent games for his club team in NZ he has been man of the match in numerous games scoring tries, drop goals, kicking from all over the pitch.

How was he so bad at Edinburgh? Has he actually been a good player all along and Edinburgh just broke him for a couple seasons?

by jimbopip Tue 14 Jul 2015, 1:10 pm

So, are you saying that Piers Francis should be enrolled into the "Too manly for the Luvvies" club, alongside Cap'n Kellock and Bane?
Mind you with that monicker he would never have made it at Scotstoun either.

by funnyExiledScot Tue 14 Jul 2015, 1:32 pm

jimbopip wrote:So, are you saying that Piers Francis should be enrolled into the "Too manly for the Luvvies" club, alongside Cap'n Kellock and Bane?
Mind you with that monicker he would never have made it at Scotstoun either.

Nonsense - with Henners Pyrgos and Sean "naked photoshoot" Lamont he'd have been quite at home with the Metro brigade at Scotstoun. He was also a duff fly half so much in common with Duncan Weir.

Interesting to hear that he's kicked on elsewhere. It was Wayne Smith who apparently identified Francis as a talent worth pursuing, and my suspicions are that it was as much the decline of the Edinburgh team at the time than Francis' abilities with ball in hand. It can't have helped having an unfit and overweight Ben Atiga at 12, and a pack so unfocused that they would struggle even against the current Glasgow forwards. Still, all things considered, he didn't do much to inspire confidence at Edinburgh.

by cp10 Tue 14 Jul 2015, 2:09 pm

Hasn't been announced yet but this guy is Edinburgh's new defence coach - Peter Wilkins.

http://online.fliphtml5.com/xsol/pdhe/#p=83

From the Queensland Reds. They gave it away on coaches workshop article - http://www.scottishrugby.org/pro-teams-coaches-workshop

by funnyExiledScot Tue 14 Jul 2015, 2:54 pm

Good spot. Sounds like the Edinburgh coaching team is expanding for the better.

by **RDW** Tue 14 Jul 2015, 5:38 pm

Francis was pretty awful, and all I'd say is that it is worrh remembering that there is a big step from ITM rugby even to the pro 12.

by **RDW** Tue 14 Jul 2015, 6:45 pm

To be fair to Francis, awful is maybe a bit much - he was certainly very average though.

I remember him being pretty committed in defence, which makes him a standout player compared to some of the rest of them!

by funnyExiledScot Tue 14 Jul 2015, 10:31 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:To be fair to Francis, awful is maybe a bit much - he was certainly very average though.

I remember him being pretty committed in defence, which makes him a standout player compared to some of the rest of them!

Te Rure is the benchmark for "awful". Heathcote for " inconsistent". Francis for "average". Perhaps Godman was World Class after all.

by **George Carlin** Wed 15 Jul 2015, 8:11 am

funnyExiledScot wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:To be fair to Francis, awful is maybe a bit much - he was certainly very average though.

I remember him being pretty committed in defence, which makes him a standout player compared to some of the rest of them!

Te Rure is the benchmark for "awful". Heathcote for " inconsistent". Francis for "average". Perhaps Godman was World Class after all.

Although apparently not one person in Newcastle seems to agree with that last statement.

by **George Carlin** Wed 15 Jul 2015, 8:51 am

I don't have particularly much to add to this thread on rugby matters but I did want to say that we are moving house today and it's nineteen kinds of fecking mental here. Sad face.

by tigertattie Wed 15 Jul 2015, 9:07 am

Bet its warm too!

by lostinwales Wed 15 Jul 2015, 9:53 am

I once managed to have to move house twice in the course of 6 months with one kid under a year old and the other 3. 2nd move I managed to write the car off falling asleep at the wheel doing a last run at 6AM (It was a very very slow crash but just enough to kill the car Doh

)

Moving is (very expensive) hell

by jimbopip Wed 15 Jul 2015, 9:59 am

George Carlin wrote:I don't have particularly much to add to this thread on rugby matters but I did want to say that we are moving house today and it's nineteen kinds of fecking mental here. Sad face.

Once when we moved house I waved MrsPip off to work the next day and proceeded to round up the offspring to deliver them to the pre-school holding pen on my way to my own gainful employment when I realised my work keys were not to be found. Since I was teaching in a Secure Unit and well security was... well, taken rather seriously I had no option but to phone in sick. Cue 4 hours unpacking boxes .

On the plus side MrsPip was very pleased to come home and find everything unpacked and dinner not quite burnt.

Jamesie Cotter has to hurry up and throw someone out of the squad ( yes Frodo I do mean you) so we don't have to continue writing and reading this nonsense.

by IanBru Wed 15 Jul 2015, 10:20 am

Say, how about that Pluto thing.

606 vote time: Is Pluto a planet? Yes or no?

by funnyExiledScot Wed 15 Jul 2015, 10:26 am

George Carlin wrote:
funnyExiledScot wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:To be fair to Francis, awful is maybe a bit much - he was certainly very average though.

I remember him being pretty committed in defence, which makes him a standout player compared to some of the rest of them!

Te Rure is the benchmark for "awful". Heathcote for " inconsistent". Francis for "average". Perhaps Godman was World Class after all.
Although apparently not one person in Newcastle seems to agree with that last statement.

I used past tense: "was". Just like all World Class athletes, such as Federer, Mayweather, Ali, Maradona etc., time catches up with everyman and so it is with World Class Phil. The only difference being that time caught up with WCP rather sooner.

by funnyExiledScot Wed 15 Jul 2015, 10:29 am

IanBru wrote:Say, how about that Pluto thing.

606 vote time: Is Pluto a planet? Yes or no?

I'm going with "Yes", although I'd like to send Scott Johnson off in a hot air balloon to find out for certain.

by tigertattie Wed 15 Jul 2015, 11:17 am

IanBru wrote:Say, how about that Pluto thing.

606 vote time: Is Pluto a planet? Yes or no?

naw, he's a dug!

by **RDW** Wed 15 Jul 2015, 1:23 pm

In other news, the B&I cup fixtures have been announced and there are no Scottish teams in it.

I'm assuming I'm not the only one that thinks that's a crying shame given the development potential it could provide?

The Scottish clubs just didn't like how it interfered with their season. Surely Edinburgh A and Glasgow A could play?

by funnyExiledScot Wed 15 Jul 2015, 1:45 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:In other news, the B&I cup fixtures have been announced and there are no Scottish teams in it.

I'm assuming I'm not the only one that thinks that's a crying shame given the development potential it could provide?

The Scottish clubs just didn't like how it interfered with their season. Surely Edinburgh A and Glasgow A could play?

Or even a combination of the two - a composite side of sorts.

1.Sutherland 2.Bryce 3.Fagerson 4.Cummings 5.Carmichael 6.Ritchie 7.Blake 8.Bradbury 9.Kennedy 10.Kinghorn 11.Hughes 12.Lyle 13.Dean 14.Hoyland 15.McLennan

by EWT Spoons Wed 15 Jul 2015, 1:49 pm

funnyExiledScot wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:In other news, the B&I cup fixtures have been announced and there are no Scottish teams in it.

I'm assuming I'm not the only one that thinks that's a crying shame given the development potential it could provide?

The Scottish clubs just didn't like how it interfered with their season. Surely Edinburgh A and Glasgow A could play?

Or even a combination of the two - a composite side of sorts.

1.Sutherland 2.Bryce 3.Fagerson 4.Cummings 5.Carmichael 6.Ritchie 7.Blake 8.Bradbury 9.Kennedy 10.Kinghorn 11.Hughes 12.Lyle 13.Dean 14.Hoyland 15.McLennan

Could one of the academy sides take part?

I know they are due to play each other, but the winner of that could go into the B&I cup. Not sure if this is realistic or possible, but would give them a few more games.

by **George Carlin** Wed 15 Jul 2015, 7:32 pm

tigertattie wrote:Bet its warm too!

44 degrees today Tattie.
Centigrade.

Although you'd argue that this was in the small print when we moved to the region.

by tigertattie Thu 16 Jul 2015, 9:14 am

Stuff that for a game of soldiers!

I'm a peely waly scotsman! anything above 25 degrees and I'm looking for the shadey spot!

by IanBru Thu 16 Jul 2015, 9:20 am

Taqele "Frank the Tank" Naiyaravoro will honour 'at least the first year' of his Glasgow contract, says his agent.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/rugby-union/33547714

In the words of my generation, "boom boom, shake shake the room."

by funnyExiledScot Thu 16 Jul 2015, 9:23 am

Well that's mighty big of him, and I'm happy to go with Frank the Tank instead of Big T.

On a separate note Mrs fES, God bless her cotton socks, renewed by Edinburgh season ticket as an anniversary present.

In the words of my social circles, "jolly splendid."

by tigertattie Thu 16 Jul 2015, 9:30 am

funnyExiledScot wrote:Well that's mighty big of him, and I'm happy to go with Frank the Tank instead of Big T.

On a separate note Mrs fES, God bless her cotton socks, renewed by Edinburgh season ticket as an anniversary present.

In the words of my social circles, "~~jolly splendid~~." "Jesus wept"

fixed that for you sir!

by nickj Thu 16 Jul 2015, 9:33 am

IanBru wrote:Taqele "Frank the Tank" Naiyaravoro will honour 'at least the first year' of his Glasgow contract, says his agent.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/rugby-union/33547714

In the words of my generation, "boom boom, shake shake the room."

Cracking news! Another feather in Bombrys's cap

by jimbopip Thu 16 Jul 2015, 10:39 am

"He's been a little bit naive. I've heard all the reports and I've been in contact regularly with him clarifying."

Naiyaravoro was not included overnight in Australia coach Michael Cheika's matchday squad for their opening Rugby Championship game against South Africa.

Two things here; firstly, I love the way the agent puts all the blame on Tacky - naïve indeed!, and secondly, I can't help thinking that his absence from the Aussie squad is related to his decision to turn up for Glasgow since that would surely rule him out of the World Cup.

However, I still think there will be one or two more twists and turns before this one is resolved.

by **George Carlin** Thu 16 Jul 2015, 11:05 am

Delighted to hear that's the full compliment of Fijian Wegians restored.

Yes, it sounds as though his agent gave him a bollocking for being unprofessional although a number of posters here can probably associate with life choices being a hell of a lot more complicated once one has children.

SMH hints strongly that Franky T will feature against the Pumas so I don't think we can read too much into the fact that Cheika did not choose him for the first RC match.

by funnyExiledScot Thu 16 Jul 2015, 12:08 pm

George Carlin wrote:Delighted to hear that's the full compliment of Fijian Wegians restored.

Yes, it sounds as though his agent gave him a bollocking for being unprofessional although a number of posters here can probably associate with life choices being a hell of a lot more complicated once one has children.

SMH hints strongly that Franky T will feature against the Pumas so I don't think we can read too much into the fact that Cheika did not choose him for the first RC match.

You have to love sports agents. They should all ingest the Jerry Maguire "Mission Statement", and shut their pie holes until they do.

That said, as an Everton fan, I think Raheem Sterling's agent deserves a medal.....

by **RDW** Thu 16 Jul 2015, 12:44 pm

John Petrie has been appointed Edinburgh MD.

http://scottishrugby.org/news/15/07/16/petrie-lead-edinburgh-rugby-new-managing-director

Will hopefully be a popular move - he should be able to heal the rift between players and off the field staff that was created by our previous MD.

by **George Carlin** Thu 16 Jul 2015, 12:55 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:John Petrie has been appointed Edinburgh MD.

http://scottishrugby.org/news/15/07/16/petrie-lead-edinburgh-rugby-new-managing-director

Will hopefully be a popular move - he should be able to heal the rift between players and off the field staff that was created by our previous MD.

Great news - a true rugby man and a loyal club man.

by funnyExiledScot Thu 16 Jul 2015, 1:28 pm

Excellent appointment. Without wanting to jinx things, the off the field stuff does seem to be turning a corner generally in Scottish rugby.

by tigertattie Thu 16 Jul 2015, 2:36 pm

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't John Petrie once run the length of the field following a line break in an international once?

I'm sure he did and I'm sure I found it both hillariously funny and inspiring at the same time!

by funnyExiledScot Fri 17 Jul 2015, 8:38 am

Petrie was an ok player. He was stuck in a completely woeful Glasgow side with the likes of G-Dog, Andy Henderson, Andy Craig and Graeme Beveridge. Mediocrity on an epic scale.

By all accounts though he's a top bloke and a good administrator. Importantly he also understands the game and should easily command the respect of the players, despite being a former soap dodger.

by RuggerRadge2611 Fri 17 Jul 2015, 12:39 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:John Petrie has been appointed Edinburgh MD.

http://scottishrugby.org/news/15/07/16/petrie-lead-edinburgh-rugby-new-managing-director

Will hopefully be a popular move - he should be able to heal the rift between players and off the field staff that was created by our previous MD.

Didn't he play the third doctor in Doctor Who?

by jimbopip Fri 17 Jul 2015, 2:03 pm

News just in;

BREAKING: Fly-half Rory Clegg and props George Hunter, Gary Strain & Steven Findlay have signed short-term deals with the club until after the Rugby World Cup!

I'll stick my neck out here and say, Shrek, Bane and the Mighty Coo are all making the final squad. Ditto Meatball and Furra Linee.
Dancer was always a given.

p.s. I watched Wayne's World 2 last night and Wayne meets the beautiful Honnee Horne (pronounced hornay) when I found myself wondering if she was related to Hornay furra Linay. I realised then that it was way past my bedtime

by tigertattie Fri 17 Jul 2015, 2:07 pm

I watched Wayne's world 2 also! I came to the conclusion that it was actually a really pants film and chastised myself for finding it funny the first time round!

by jimbopip Fri 17 Jul 2015, 2:17 pm

Wash your mouth out. You pampered jaded of the east.

Any film with Tea Carrera in it is by definition high art.

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