Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread IX

[George Carlin]

First topic message reminder :

Time Honoured Banter:

https://www.606v2.com/t48240-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread
https://www.606v2.com/t51313-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-ii
https://www.606v2.com/t53119-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iii
https://www.606v2.com/t54519-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iv
https://www.606v2.com/t55409-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-v-the-fun-continues
https://www.606v2.com/t56913p950-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-vi-banter-boogaloo
https://www.606v2.com/t57946-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-vii
https://www.606v2.com/t58659-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-viii

A. Edinburgh (2015-2016)
 
Players In
William Helu from Wasps
Nasi Manu from Highlanders
Nathan Fowles from Sale Sharks
Michael Allen from Ulster
Jack Cosgrove from Worcester Warriors

Players Out
Tom Heathcote to Worcester Warriors
Grayson Hart to Glasgow Warriors
Ollie Atkins to Exeter Chiefs
Tim Visser to Harlequins
 
B. Glasgow (2015-2016)

Players In
Simone Favaro from Benetton Treviso
Grayson Hart from Edinburgh
Kieran Low from London Irish
Mike Blair from Newcastle Falcons
Sam Johnson from Queensland Reds
Greg Peterson from Leicester Tigers
Taqele Naiyaravoro from NSW Waratahs
Javan Sebastian from Carmarthen Quins

Players Out
Nikola Matawalu to Bath Rugby
Sean Maitland to London Irish
D.T.H. van der Merwe to Scarlets
Dougie Hall retired
Jon Welsh to Newcastle Falcons
Alastair Kellock retired
Murray McConnell to Nottingham
James Downey to Wasps
Tommy Spinks to Jersey
Euan Murray to Pau
Connor Braid released

[lostinwales]

How's Baby Radge getting on? Has the wee bairn come to terms yet with being a Fifer??

How is she getting on? Dreadful. It's almost as if she knows I'm back at work and is being even more beligerant than usual. I look around at people with more than one child and find myself asking the question "you like sleep deprivation so much you decided to have another one?!!"

As for coming to terms with being a Fifer, she is taking to the ethos like a duck to water. Binging on drink (baby milk) at all hours, and sleeping in her own vomitus from time to time.

Excellent. Agreed on the second baby. A terrifying thought.

2 is easy. You have already mastered all the basic skills and no longer pass out on nappy changing duty. Apart from 3 major issues.
1) All that (limited) down time you had when the one baby was asleep is now gone, because they work like a tag team. (this is almost the only time they act as a team)
2) Angelic child no.1 will turn into a demonic seething tower of jealousy because you give attention to child no.2
3) You have years to look forward to trying to act as a peacemaker and referee. Typical scenario youngest deliberately winds up sibling. Sibling strikes youngest, youngest runs to you screaming 'he hit me'

[George Carlin]

How's Baby Radge getting on? Has the wee bairn come to terms yet with being a Fifer??

How is she getting on? Dreadful. It's almost as if she knows I'm back at work and is being even more beligerant than usual. I look around at people with more than one child and find myself asking the question "you like sleep deprivation so much you decided to have another one?!!"

As for coming to terms with being a Fifer, she is taking to the ethos like a duck to water. Binging on drink (baby milk) at all hours, and sleeping in her own vomitus from time to time.

Excellent. Agreed on the second baby. A terrifying thought.

You have no idea. Mine have a committee meeting each evening at 7pm (bedtime) and decide between them whose turn it is to wake mum and dad up at 3am and who will take the 5am slot that morning.

My 3 year old impersonated me snoring to my face last week. Every day a small piece of dignity breaks off, like the ice splinters hand hewn by an illegal Senegalise child slave for use in a Stockbridge Fizz.

[Tattie Scones RRN]

So we can safely say that either or both of you will be announcing the expectancy of a second within the next 12-18 months. Of that I am pretty confident.

My third is due in 3 months. But then again I'm away four nights of the week.

Which is nice.

For me at least.

[funnyExiledScot]

So we can safely say that either or both of you will be announcing the expectancy of a second within the next 12-18 months. Of that I am pretty confident.

My third is due in 3 months. But then again I'm away four nights of the week.

Which is nice.

For me at least.

You are my hero!

[Tattie Scones RRN]

Thank you.

However, I failed to mention that my 4 nights away are in Newport.

[RuggerRadge2611]

Thank you.

However, I failed to mention that my 4 nights away are in Newport.

The line between heroism and stupidity is measured by success!

As for a second it is truly terrifying. It will possibly happen but not for the next wee while. If it hasn't happened by the time I'm 35 it won't be happening at all. This is a young mans game!

[jimbopip]

Radge, at this point I must add;

Princess Daughter...27 years old

Bigson.... 22

Young Pipetto....12 yes 12.

Don't ever think you are in any way, shape or form in charge of what your todger decides to do. Whenever I annoy MrsPip now she just points to Pipetto and says, "Don't be silly you won't get pregnant. What are the chances?"

[RuggerRadge2611]

3 kids eh?

I always remember asking a weegie what they use for protection during coitus...

Their answer

A bus shelter.... keep it classy mate

[jimbopip]

Do you talk to your wife during sex?

Only if she phones.

Thank you and don't forget to tip your waitress.

[funnyExiledScot]

Thank you.

However, I failed to mention that my 4 nights away are in Newport.

The line between heroism and stupidity is measured by success!

As for a second it is truly terrifying. It will possibly happen but not for the next wee while. If it hasn't happened by the time I'm 35 it won't be happening at all. This is a young mans game!

Ouch. 35 is the new 25, or at least it will be come December!

[funnyExiledScot]

Do you talk to your wife during sex?

Only if she phones.  

Thank you and don't forget to tip your waitress.

That's most certainly your finest contribution to 606v2!!

[George Carlin]

Radge, at this point I must add;

Princess Daughter...27 years old

Bigson.... 22

Young Pipetto....12 yes 12.

I'm not saying that having kids takes it out of you, but this picture of Jimbo was taken last week:

[Tattie Scones RRN]

Thank you.

However, I failed to mention that my 4 nights away are in Newport.

The line between heroism and stupidity is measured by success!

As for a second it is truly terrifying. It will possibly happen but not for the next wee while. If it hasn't happened by the time I'm 35 it won't be happening at all. This is a young mans game!

If you want some advice, keep them as close together as possible. Trust me. If you leave it too long between each one, you forget how tough it is and the new arrival is a shock.

Plus if they're near the same age, they occupy each other.

As an example - I am sick to death of spending my time moving from Minecraft to driving Peppa Pig around in a JCB digger.

[funnyExiledScot]

Radge, at this point I must add;

Princess Daughter...27 years old

Bigson.... 22

Young Pipetto....12 yes 12.

I'm not saying that having kids takes it out of you, but this picture of Jimbo was taken last week:

Given Jimbo is part Essex/part Glasgow, I'm assuming he was 14 when Princess Daughter was born, making him only 41. Not looking good on it.

[BigGee]

I am a fan of the keeping them close argument as well. Mine are 22. 20 and 19. No sleep for 5 years then you slowly get your life back again.

I also recommend the vasectomy option, I had mine about 5 days after the third was born. One of my better decisions, a weeks pain in the trouser department compared to a decent nights sleep for the rest of your life, it was not to hard!

[EWT Spoons]

I am a fan of the keeping them close argument as well. Mine are 22. 20 and 19. No sleep for 5 years then you slowly get your life back again.

I also recommend the vasectomy option, I had mine about 5 days after the third was born. One of my better decisions, a weeks pain in the trouser department compared to a decent nights sleep for the rest of your life, it was not to hard!

Hee hee...just me...sorry

[RDW]

Hardie hasn't ruled out playing for one of the Scottish pro teams:

The latest ‘kilted Kiwi’ is unattached at present and when asked did not rule out the possibility of signing for one of the Scottish pro-teams.

“Yeah I definitely could,” he said. “I can see myself playing anywhere in the Northern Hemisphere to be honest and if it’s in Scotland or wherever I’ll be happy as Larry."

[BigGee]

I am a fan of the keeping them close argument as well. Mine are 22. 20 and 19. No sleep for 5 years then you slowly get your life back again.

I also recommend the vasectomy option, I had mine about 5 days after the third was born. One of my better decisions, a weeks pain in the trouser department compared to a decent nights sleep for the rest of your life, it was not to hard!

Hee hee...just me...sorry

You really can't get away with anything here, can you?

[EWT Spoons]

Hardie hasn't ruled out playing for one of the Scottish pro teams:

The latest ‘kilted Kiwi’ is unattached at present and when asked did not rule out the possibility of signing for one of the Scottish pro-teams.

“Yeah I definitely could,” he said. “I can see myself playing anywhere in the Northern Hemisphere to be honest and if it’s in Scotland or wherever I’ll be happy as Larry."

It would be an odd move if he did rule it out, as it’s probably one of his better shots of getting a pro contract over here.

[funnyExiledScot]

Come to Edinburgh John!!

[George Carlin]

If Hardie is smart, he won't commit to any team until he's had a couple of good RWC games under his belt. He's the only openside that we have and will almost certainly be featuring in the big games. Then he can ask for a wheelbarrow of cash. Or something.

[RDW]

Here's an artist's impression of John Hardie after the world cup having signed for Toulon

[George Carlin]

Reports are unconfirmed that Lee Jones gets paid in Smarties.

[RDW]

Some say that Anton Bresler gets paid in red meat and the hearts of his defeated enemies.

Some also say that Sam Hidalgo-Clyne gets paid in hair products. A claim not helped by his recent tweet thanking some companies for their world cup presents!

[funnyExiledScot]

Some say that Anton Bresler gets paid in red meat and the hearts of his defeated enemies.

Not true. Al Kellock's is evidently still beating.

[funnyExiledScot]

If Hardie is smart, he won't commit to any team until he's had a couple of good RWC games under his belt. He's the only openside that we have and will almost certainly be featuring in the big games. Then he can ask for a wheelbarrow of cash. Or something.

Agreed. There will be a big market for a top notch openside flanker with many top sides making do with players who really ought to be playing at 6.

From an Edinburgh perspective, much depends on the rumours surrounding Roddy Grant. If he's staying then we can probably do without and still manage to retain the 1872, without him though we start to look a little exposed at 7. Solomons like a big pack and has used Du Preez at 7 before. A Manu, Denton and Du Preez back row is big, but lacks that specialist breakdown player that I fear we'll need should we plan to develop our game plan beyond endless up and unders.

I'd take Hardie in a heartbeat, and gladly introduce a salary sacrifice program for Andress, the Toolis brother than isn't any good, Coman, Te Rure (that would be 100% salary sacrifice) and Strauss (see Te Rure for appropriate level of salary sacrifice).

[jimbopip]

Some say that Anton Bresler gets paid in red meat and the hearts of his defeated enemies.

Not true. Al Kellock's is evidently still beating.

Beating to the jaunty rhythm of "The Captain" whenever he thinks of his Pro 12 winners medal.

[funnyExiledScot]

Spotted Jon Petrie and Jason White in The Caffeine Drip at lunchtime. That's a proper celebrity spot in my book!

[RDW]

At the Edinbrugh-Ulster pre-season game Nathan Hines passed me carrying a pink and a blue scooter (belonging to his kids).

It was a strange thing to see!

[tigertattie]

strangest rugby related thing I've ever seen was walking passed Gavin Hastings wearing my local club's jersey while pushing an old pedal bike with a string of onions round his neck!

He only said "don't ask lads" and kept on walking!

Still to be confirmed, but i think he lost a bet in our club on one of the few occasions where we've beaten the onion munchers!

[highland_scot]

At the Edinbrugh-Ulster pre-season game Nathan Hines passed me carrying a pink and a blue scooter (belonging to his kids).

It was a strange thing to see!

Why were you carrying his kids' scooter?! He was probably a bit nonplussed too!

[RDW]

Will Helu playing 13 for Tonga - looking forward to seeing how he gets on

[RDW]

He's not playing well so far...

[MacKnocked-on]

Kevin Locke in trouble again, this time with his latest League club Wakefield having left Salford. Looks like a lucky escape for the SRU and whichever of the pro teams he would have been assigned to.

[TheMildlyFranticLlama]

I tell you what, the Japanese full back Ayumu Goromaru is a handy player. Wonder if his club fancy a straight swap with Jack Cuthbert?

[CraigS1874]

Rumour has it Lewis Carmichael has signed a contract with Edinburgh, although I may be slightly biased he is bloody good at what he does. Very lightweight but runs a linneout very well. And has a fair amount of gas for a lock, I once won a sevens comp with him playing on the wing and me at 10

[RDW]

Do Glasgow not need locks more than edinburgh??

One of my pals watched the Stirling County game today - apparently George Horne was outstanding. Won't be long before we see him at a pro team.

[InjuredYetAgain]

Rumour has it Lewis Carmichael has signed a contract with Edinburgh, although I may be slightly biased he is bloody good at what he does. Very lightweight but runs a linneout very well. And has a fair amount of gas for a lock, I once won a sevens comp with him playing on the wing and me at 10

No wonder you won a 7s event if you had 10 players on the pitch!
I had seen him on the TV in age-group WCs and thought he looked a big lad?

[CraigS1874]

Yeah probably, he's tall and has started to fill out but he's not naturally heavy the way Jonny Gray is.

I think George Horne will get the same treatment as Sam hidalgo clyne played 10/15 throughout school, new to scrum half so let him play plenty of games at club level in that position before moving him into the pro setup. He is basically a full time pro at the moment, so I wouldn't be surprised to see him being given a contract soon

[CraigS1874]

just looked at glasgows squad online they have 38 forwards! 38! Edinburgh has a squad size of 44 overall and I thought that was big.

Good to see that the SRU are financing both clubs equally

[VinceWLB]

Just checked it's true they do have 38 forwards though a lot of dead wood Puafisi was absolutely atrocious and Tonga engaged the reverse gear once he came on. What a terrible, terrible signing. Ben Atiga was a decent acquisition in comparison

[RDW]

I think the more relevant question is how many forwards do both clubs currently have available - I suspect the number will be more even!

[jimbopip]

38 forwards is part of Plan Vernon.

Soon we shall have the best set of backs in the world. (At present we merely have the best in the Pro12). Shuggie B is the first to follow Richie V and looked an astonishingly good winger against Connacht. Just wait till the assembly line starts rolling properly: Rob Harley at 10, Clegg is there so we get used to a six foot crayon at 10 and aren't too shocked when Big Bad Bob start throwing dummies and sidesteps.

[BigGee]

I think the more relevant question is how many forwards do both clubs currently have available - I suspect the number will be more even!

Exactly, an awful lot of them will be gone next year and most won't see much game time after the WC is over and the returnees have had a rest.

[funnyExiledScot]

I thought all lightweight underpowered locks were housed at Glasgow?

I'd send him there to the Al Kellock School Of Locks Who Don't Push Too Good.

[jimbopip]

One of Big Al's main jobs was lifting; he lifted the team then he lifted the Pro 12 trophy. Then he lifted the whole damn city. Lifted us like Fats Waller playing honky tonk pianner on a Saturday night.

[funnyExiledScot]

Kellock was a line-up jumper. He was carried in every sense of the word. I do hope he sent Nakarawa a thank you card for the Pro12 title.

[TheMildlyFranticLlama]

Right then, various people on here have shown their abilities in unearthing Scottish eligible (or suspected eligible, based on how many whiskys they've been seen drinking on nights out or how much red tinge there is in their beards) talent across the globe who they think would make good signings for Edinburgh and Glasgow.

So the question is, which players from smaller World cup nations have caught your eye and do you think would make good prospects, or squad players for Edinburgh or Glasgow (assuming we were able to swap them for existing NSQ players, Mr A. Strauss being an exceptional candidate)

I was very impressed with the threat the Japanese backline offered with ball in hand, and would happily take their 12 and 15 for instance

[George Carlin]

I was very impressed with the threat the Japanese backline offered with ball in hand, and would happily take their 12 and 15 for instance

I would have their scrum half as well. Makes Laidlaw look like he's stuck on 'pause'.

[RDW]

I thought the Uruguay 10 looked good - better than Jade Te Rure anyway!

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