Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread X-rated

[funnyExiledScot]

First topic message reminder :

Previously by the same artist:

https://www.606v2.com/t48240-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread
https://www.606v2.com/t51313-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-ii
https://www.606v2.com/t53119-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iii
https://www.606v2.com/t54519-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iv
https://www.606v2.com/t55409-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-v-the-fun-continues
https://www.606v2.com/t56913p950-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-vi-banter-boogaloo
https://www.606v2.com/t57946-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-vii
https://www.606v2.com/t58659-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-viii
https://www.606v2.com/t59409p1000-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-ix

Edinburgh

1872 Champions

Glasgow

1872 Runners-up

[funnyExiledScot]

Now that I look at those sides, the tight 5 is a horrible mismatch.

Greg/Jeff/Oscar Peterson's right boot probably weighs more than Edinburgh's boiler room combined.

True, although Glasgow are operating with the handicap of James Eddie at lock.

Edinburgh will do really well to keep the scoreline respectable.

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Still a good run out for some Warriors who have not had a lot of game time. Nice to see Holmes back after his injury.

[George Carlin]

Am also very interested in Grigg and Johnson in midfield.

Former Hurricanes Academy and Queensland Reds respectively - I am expecting a lot from them.

[RDW]

Am also very interested in Grigg and Johnson in midfield.

Former Hurricanes Academy and Queensland Reds respectively - I am expecting a lot from them.

They're up against it playing against Strauss!

[George Carlin]

Am also very interested in Grigg and Johnson in midfield.

Former Hurricanes Academy and Queensland Reds respectively - I am expecting a lot from them.

They're up against it playing against Strauss!

Absolutely. They won't know whether to beat him on the left, the right or just squish his head into the turf. The agony of choice.

[MacKnocked-on]

Grigg is SQ I think but is Johnson as well?

[Tattie Scones RRN]

Is there no way these 'A' teams can be involved in the B&I Cup in future like many of our fellow Pro 12 teams?

They'd be more competitive than Ayr, Melrose etc. I heard it was £100k to participate - not massive money in the grand scheme of things?

[BigGee]

I would imagine from the team that none of Fusaro, Weir or Allan are going to be featuring on saturday then. Finn will start at 10 for Glasgow and presumably Horne will cover, either from the pitch or the bench.

Does that mean that Dunbar is fit again? Could he start off the bench?

Good to see Cussack back again but clearly short of gametime and so we will see the Tongan and Fargerson as the THs.

That A team probably gives a good idea of the true pecking order of things at Glasgow ATM.

[funnyExiledScot]

I would imagine from the team that none of Fusaro, Weir or Allan are going to be featuring on saturday then. Finn will start at 10 for Glasgow and presumably Horne will cover, either from the pitch or the bench.

Does that mean that Dunbar is fit again? Could he start off the bench?

Good to see Cussack back again but clearly short of gametime and so we will see the Tongan and Fargerson as the THs.

That A team probably gives a good idea of the true pecking order of things at Glasgow ATM.

I suspect he'll kill Dell in this fixture!

[Eejit]

Here, what's this rugby thing we're talking about on this thread? It's such a big departure from the usual reasoned discourse I thought I'd mention something.

[jimbopip]

I see that Exfoliators A play Soapdodgers A at Broadwood at 3pm this afternoon.

According to their respective websites, the teams are:

I've omitted the Luvvies Wannabees because, well what's the point of them?

Glasgow A
15. Nyle Godsmark (Melrose)
14. Junior Bulumakau
13. Nick Grigg
12. Sam Johnson
11. Rory Hughes
10. Duncan Weir
9. Ali Price

1. Alex Allan
2. James Malcolm
3. Mike Cusack
4. Greg Peterson
5. James Eddie
6. Tyrone Holmes
7. Chris Fusaro (Captain)
8. Bruce Flockhart.

Subs: Jerry Yanuyanutawa, Javan Sebastian, Cameron Fenton, Will Bordill, Matt Smith, Andy Redmayne (Glasgow Hawks), Patrick Nicol (Stirling County), Scott Bikerstaff (Marr), Gregor Hunter, Archie Russell (BT Sport Scottish Rugby Academy Stage 2 player).

Now here's the side that would have faced Racing 92.
15. Hogg
14. Seymour
13. Bennett angel
12. Horne
11. Lamont
10. Russell
9. Blair

8. Strauss
7. Favaro
6. Harley
5. Gray (c)
4. Nakarawa
3. Puafisi
2. McArthur
1. Grant

16. Mamukashvili
17. Reid
18. Fagerson
19. Swinson
20. Wilson
21. Hart
22. Vernon
23. Naiyaravoro

So, just to be clear, there's no-one in today's 23 who would have taken part on Saturday. However, there are 13 players with first team experience in today's squad. That is a ridiculously strong squad. The Luvvies pack will be met off the bus and 60 minutes will feel like a very long time.

It does speak volumes about the relative strength of each club. There are players turning out this afternoon who will consider themselves first team players, and who will be hoping for a 6N call up (in the Glasgow side) and some who will be hopelessly outclassed but have the consolation of quails eggs on toast for tiffin after the game.

[funnyExiledScot]

Well here's the Edinburgh 23 against Grenoble:

Edinburgh: Fife, Hoyland, Helu, Scott, Brown, Tonks, Hidalgo-Clyne, Dickinson, Ford, Nel, Bresler, A. Toolis, Coman, J. Hardie, Du Preez.

Replacements: Sutherland, Cochrane, Andress, Manu, Watson, Kennedy, Kinghorn, Dean.

Without injuries/were we taking this more seriously, we could put out the following:

1.Dell 2.McInally 3.Berghan 4.McKenzie 5.B Toolis 6.Ritchie 7.Grant(c) 8.Bradbury 9.Fowles 10.Burleigh 11.Farndale 12.Strauss 13.Beard 14.Allen 15.Cuthbert

That's a second choice 23 (or Edinburgh A) that would clearly be much more competitive so I don't think there's a much between the two squads as suggested by the selected teams.

Out of interest, who in the Glasgow A team "will be hoping for a 6N call up"?? The only player with a realistic prospect of a call-up is Weir, and possibly Fat Mike provided he turns back the clock two years.

[IanBru]

Interestingly, Glasgow's second try has been scored by young Bruce Flockhart, a 'Level 2' academy player

Sometimes the Glasgow lexicon is difficult to decipher, sometimes it requires a working knowledge of Greek mythology, Victorian literature and 1970s Scottish folk music, but this one will be easy:

'Calista', or better yet, 'Han Solo's bird'.

[funnyExiledScot]

Interestingly, Glasgow's second try has been scored by young Bruce Flockhart, a 'Level 2' academy player

Sometimes the Glasgow lexicon is difficult to decipher, sometimes it requires a working knowledge of Greek mythology, Victorian literature and 1970s Scottish folk music, but this one will be easy:

'Calista', or better yet, 'Han Solo's bird'.

I'd suggest "Ally McBeal".

[jimbopip]

Or Ally McSqueal. Apparently that is the title of one of Fes' favourite "educational" dvd's. Along with "Shaving Ryan's Privates"

[funnyExiledScot]

Or Ally McSqueal. Apparently that is the title of one of Fes' favourite "educational" dvd's. Along with "Shaving Ryan's Privates"

A tenuous link....

Actually my favourite title for such movie "genre" is Lawrence of Alabia. Inspired.

[RDW]

12-0 HT

Pull the finger out Glasgow - this should be a rout for that team!

[funnyExiledScot]

12-0 HT

Pull the finger out Glasgow - this should be a rout for that team!

Surprised by that score. You'd expect the Weegies to have scored more than that.

[IanBru]

You guys clearly haven't seen Flesh Gordon or Pulp Friction.

Then again, nothing beats the classic Christmas family entertainment, 'The Pole-Her Express'.

[funnyExiledScot]

You guys clearly haven't seen Flesh Gordon or Pulp Friction.

Then again, nothing beats the classic Christmas family entertainment, 'The Pole-Her Express'.

[Tattie Scones RRN]

26-0 now!!

[funnyExiledScot]

Sounds like Glasgow are going through the gears. This is where Strauss' leadership usually comes into its own.

[IanBru]

Final whistle: 26-5.

That's also a fair and accurate tally of the number of world-class players in each team's starting XV.

[funnyExiledScot]

Who scored for Edinburgh?

[jimbopip]

Final whistle: 26-5.

That's also a fair and accurate tally of the number of world-class players in each team's starting XV.

Mr Bru, you don't tally up your own invoices, do you?

[IanBru]

https://youtu.be/PSRildGCw64?t=4s

[funnyExiledScot]

Who scored for Edinburgh?

The answer to my question was Jack Cuthbert. Glasgow let Cuthbert cross the line.

[George Carlin]

Who scored for Edinburgh?

The answer to my question was Jack Cuthbert. Glasgow let Cuthbert cross the line.

It is part of Glasgow's new 'Fat Spanner Positive Discrimination Programme'.

Basically, new soapdodger corporate policy dictates that once any game is past the point at which we could realistically lose, we let one utterly useless player from the opposing team (preferably glacially slow and with hands like cold jubblies) score a try. It makes everyone feel good and the SRU makes a charitable donation every time.

[funnyExiledScot]

Who scored for Edinburgh?

The answer to my question was Jack Cuthbert. Glasgow let Cuthbert cross the line.

It is part of Glasgow's new 'Fat Spanner Positive Disscrimination Programme'.

Basically, new soapdodger corporate policy dictates that once any game is past the point at which we could realistically lose, we let one utterly useless player from the opposing team (preferably glacially slow and with hands like cold jubblies) score a try. It makes everyone feel good and the SRU makes a charitable donation every time.

Ah, that explains it. Thanks. It must have been tricky, given the aforementioned criteria, for Glasgow to decide who to allow over the line.....

[R!skysports]

Who scored for Edinburgh?

The answer to my question was Jack Cuthbert. Glasgow let Cuthbert cross the line.

It is part of Glasgow's new 'Fat Spanner Positive Disscrimination Programme'.

Basically, new soapdodger corporate policy dictates that once any game is past the point at which we could realistically lose, we let one utterly useless player from the opposing team (preferably glacially slow and with hands like cold jubblies) score a try. It makes everyone feel good and the SRU makes a charitable donation every time.

Ah, that explains it. Thanks. It must have been tricky, given the aforementioned criteria, for Glasgow to decide who to allow over the line.....

They made the decision at the 20 min mark........it just took him the rest of the time to get to the line

[R!skysports]

15. Hogg - Squeal like a Hogg
14. Seymour - Seymour, Feelmore
13. Bennett angel - Bennett Over
12. Horne - Horne
11. Lamont -Sean Lamount
10. Russell - Russel her Undies
9. Blair - The Blair Dic k project

8. Strauss - Shaven Strauss
7. Favaro - Tickle my Favaro
6. Harley - Ridden like a Harley
5. Gray (c) - 50 Shades of Gray
4. Nakarawa - She likes it Nakarawa
3. Puafisi - Deep Puafisi
2. McArthur - McArthur's Rock
1. Grant - Student Paying off Grant

[RDW]

15. Hogg - Squeal like a Hogg
14. Seymour - Seymour, Feelmore
13. Bennett angel - Bennett Over
12. Horne - Horne
11. Lamont -Sean Lamount
10. Russell - Russel her Undies
9. Blair - The Blair Dic k project

8. Strauss -  Shaven Strauss
7. Favaro - Tickle my Favaro
6. Harley - Ridden like a Harley
5. Gray (c) - 50 Shades of Gray
4. Nakarawa - She likes it Nakarawa
3. Puafisi - Deep Puafisi
2. McArthur - McArthur's Rock
1. Grant - Student Paying off Grant

I hope your other half doesn't look at your internet history!

[madmaccas]

Who scored for Edinburgh?

The answer to my question was Jack Cuthbert. Glasgow let Cuthbert cross the line.

It is part of Glasgow's new 'Fat Spanner Positive Discrimination Programme'.

Basically, new soapdodger corporate policy dictates that once any game is past the point at which we could realistically lose, we let one utterly useless player from the opposing team (preferably glacially slow and with hands like cold jubblies) score a try. It makes everyone feel good and the SRU makes a charitable donation every time.

Whoa whoa whoa, we are talking about the SRU marketing department here! You expect them to execute joined up thinking and enterprising promotion?!?

[madmaccas]

Here are the highlights of the A fixture (with an extra terrifying gaze from Bonehead)

[funnyExiledScot]

I think we can all agree that Cuthbert scores the pick of the tries.....

[jimbopip]

So, Alex Dunbar now has a proper nickname, "Pudding" as in, " Aye.You look like you like a pudding."

[George Carlin]

Here are the highlights of the A fixture (with an extra terrifying gaze from Bonehead)

That 6 year old was about fifty times more natural in front of camera than Bone the Staring Gnome.

[R!skysports]

I am glad the cameraman eventually found the zoom button - but was a bit nervous of using it more than for 1/2 a second in case the lovies foundation was shown to streak with the sweat

[George Carlin]

I'm assuming it was Mike Cusack's keeper that was taking the footage and he had to keep checking nobody had nicked his two spare buckets of raw meat.

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

That will be Gilchrist out for another few months when he spilled that heavy plastic mug !!!

[RDW]

That will be Gilchrist out for another few months when he spilled that heavy plastic mug !!!

Same could be said for Dunbar in his current state!

[Tattie Scones RRN]

I think the wee girl was Al Kellock's daughter.

"You look like you like a xmas pudding". Brilliant.

[funnyExiledScot]

Saw Visser scoring for Quins last night. Ripped the ball off his opposite number and ran the length. Couple of half breaks as well. Looks like he's settling in.

[EWT Spoons]

That staring lad is truly terrifying.

Plus the wee girl is a natural, I have no idea what she was singing but looked far more comfortable in front of the camera than the rest.

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Aye the wee lass is Big AK and Ashley's oldest daughter. After we beat Ulster in the Pro 12 sf last season she was running around the pitch getting applauded by the faithful. A wee star in the making

[EWT Spoons]

Future captain of the ladies team?

Before you say it, no I don't mean Edinburgh

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Future captain of the ladies team?

Before you say it, no I don't mean Edinburgh

[jimbopip]

Yes, the look of terror in Pudding Dunbar's eyes when she held up her hand and then his relief when she says, "High five" tells you who the grown up is in that relationship.

Also, is it only in Glasgow where a six year old singing, "I've got two bottles of whiskey for the journey" is considered laudable?

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Yes, the look of terror in Pudding Dunbar's eyes when she held up her hand and then his relief when she says, "High five" tells you who the grown up is in that relationship.

Also, is it only in Glasgow where a six year old singing, "I've got two bottles of whiskey for the journey"  is considered laudable?

Ahem Mr J - "whiskey" - wtf is that ?

[jimbopip]

Mr Schiz, it's an Mericaahn song and our obese cousins don't know how to spell. They adopted all the worst English upper class habits so even their best schools turn out semi-literate philistines who write about "wastecoats". Or so Fes tells everyone.

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