The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Sean is a bummer.

Saturates clog the arteries and my levels are not pretty. it was either take statins, stop drinking or eat super healthily.

An interesting insight into the minds of soap watchers. I saw that an Emmerdale actress had died and passed the news on to my emmerdale obsessed colleague. Her reaction: "Oh, my god, oh my god, oh my god - How are they going to write that into the script".

Soapwatchers are the ones who will spend hours blathering on about their made up fantasy storylines and yet will roll their eyes when the subject of football comes up and say "It's only a game"

Maybe, but at least it really happened!

I would find soaps a lot more believable if they watched other soaps/tv and included it in the storylines. How can it be real life if the farmer, the northern monkey, the cockney wide boy don't watch tv? F'cking weirdoes if they don't.

I believe if they did that, it would rip a hole in the fabric of time, a bit like if you try to google "google". It creates an infinite loop that will destroy all existence.

Be funny though, especially if they looked directly in to the camera.

Dot Cotton "Jim - turn on Corrie"

Jim "not that pile of sh1t - its so unrealistic"

Would be apropriate.

DAVE667 wrote:Soapwatchers are the ones who will spend hours blathering on about their made up fantasy storylines and yet will roll their eyes when the subject of football comes up and say "It's only a game"

Maybe, but at least it really happened!

Yeah, like WRASSLIN', right Dolphin?

DAVE667 wrote:Galted you ungrateful sh*t..I got you that jacket made from the finest dead hookers in six counties. The time, effort and craftsmanship involved (not to mention petrol money) makes this the best gift you'll ever get.

Cheers, Dave, the crack whoreskin jacket is one of my favourite clothing items.

seanmichaels wrote:I never knew that. I am supposedly going to that london this Friday. Sloane Square. From what I have heard there is likely to be a higher proportion of bell3nds there than both Stamford Bridge and the west car park at Twickenham.

You should get yourself to the food market on Saturdays - it's one of nature's greatest spectacles, the gathering of Sloane Square d1ckwads and snot-arsed fannies as they start on their feeding and mating frenzy.

Cutting lawns on Saturday. Do I need to wear red trousers and tweed for this outing? It is wear northerners unintentionally fit in in London I believe

Where

You've been drinking again seany boy?

Yep. Not heavy though. Ish

Tempus adest floridum, surgent namque flores
Vernales in omnibus, imitantur mores
Hoc quod frigus laeserat, reparant calores
Cernimus hoc fieri, per multos labores.

Sunt prata plena floribus, iucunda aspectu
Ubi iuvat cernere, herbas cum delectu
Gramina et plantae hyeme quiesc unt
Vernali in tempore virent et accresc unt.

Haec vobis pulchre monstrant Deum creatorem
Quem quoque nos credimus omnium factorem
O tempus ergo hilare, quo laetari libet
Renovato nam mundo, nos novari decet.

Terra ornatur floribus et multo decore
Nos honestis moribus et vero amore
Gaudeamus igitur tempore iucundo
Laudemusque Dominum pectoris ex fundo.




Fist. Morning rick the silk.

Feast of Steven stuff Shah

Morning mate, all well?

Sick

Trying to hasten the oncoming of spring.

Not bad my friend, just today and tommorow then the lovely long weekend. Hows things with you?

I have a long weekend also, off Friday on the lash and not in Monday so all good in the hood!

You up to anything?

Taking the wife to the high commission to get her passport renewed then hitting whipsnade on the way back. My daughter wants to see elephants and giraffes. Then getting absolutely mashed and eating a challenge burger. Pray for my heart.

Shah wrote:Taking the wife to the high commission to get her passport renewed

Backhander to Jeff?

Just get a Giraffe burger could be a life lesson for the little un...

Morning victims....did a sex with Mrs667 last night and Man Utd lost.
Oh happy day (oh happy day)

She's only 4 yet. I'll do that at the same time I make her wear her burqa. All lessons at once save me time and effort. So next year will be a busy one

Shah wrote:All lessons at once save me time and effort. So next year will be a busy one

Good time management mate, and it focuses the distress...

Morning DAVE, does your happiness mean that the street walkers of Bradders/K-Town are safe for a wee while?

Morning all.

Frosty silence from serial Dave at that suggestion ricko. Bolt your doors tonight.

Morning Tino the Wino.

It is indeed ominous Shah, I shall issue an amber warning to the local pimps

Morning Tino

Morning bummers

Morning bummee

Bit disappointed everyone is getting on Fury's back. I know he's not the brightest but he is essentially just quoting from the bible.

I dont see anywhere in the bible that women are best on their backs sean...

Also I can not believe for a second that he actually thinks "The Gays" are going to end the world, he is just using he spotlight time to be double extra tw@tty for reasons of self publicising... C**t

I agree Rick...Fury is becoming even more of a c*nt with every passing hour. And no, there is no amnesty in operation. Xmas is my busy period.

rick_dagless wrote:I dont see anywhere in the bible that women are best on their backs sean...

Also I can not believe for a second that he actually thinks "The Gays" are going to end the world, he is just using he spotlight time to be double extra tw@tty for reasons of self publicising... C**t

Genesis 2:18
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Genesis 2:22
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Leviticus 20:13

If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.

Not saying I agree but people are quick to show tolerance of other faiths. Not sure why Fury's interpretation of the above is so controversial.

He is becoming a caricature of a caricature of which the main character trait was pretty C**tish to start with, he is a fractal C**t, and shows no sign of stopping.

ShahenshahG wrote:Tempus adest floridum, surgent namque flores
Vernales in omnibus, imitantur mores
Hoc quod frigus laeserat, reparant calores
Cernimus hoc fieri, per multos labores.

Sunt prata plena floribus, iucunda aspectu
Ubi iuvat cernere, herbas cum delectu
Gramina et plantae hyeme quiesc unt
Vernali in tempore virent et accresc unt.

Haec vobis pulchre monstrant Deum creatorem
Quem quoque nos credimus omnium factorem
O tempus ergo hilare, quo laetari libet
Renovato nam mundo, nos novari decet.

Terra ornatur floribus et multo decore
Nos honestis moribus et vero amore
Gaudeamus igitur tempore iucundo
Laudemusque Dominum pectoris ex fundo.

Allow me to translate :-

Time is fluid, insurgents name flowers
Venables in a bus, imitates Moyes
Quad bikes and cold laserquest repair calories
Ceramic hob fire, for a multitude of labours

Prattling plane flower-bus, Sekonda aspect
From what l've heard herbal cum is delightful
Gramdma's plant hymen is quite a c*nt
Venables in virile time is actually a c*nt

Pulchritude created duelling monsters
That's only credible in an ominous factory
O time is thus hilarious, fingered a librarian
Renovate my mound in your new deceit

Earth's ornate flower-bus is very decorative
No, honestly, death is a lot like love
What's the time on your digital Sekonda
Lauda's scent dominates F1 pectorals.

But also sean

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Who said all that? Fury is a bell, and of limited intelligence. His boxing has given him a platform and elements of the media are using him for a story.

The platform could be used for many things rather than bellendery...

rick_dagless wrote:The platform could be used for many things rather than bellendery...

Don't debate with fools, riCk.

Tino wrote:Don't debate with fools, riCk.

True, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Don't debate with fools, riCk.

True, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Precisely.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Tempus adest floridum, surgent namque flores
Vernales in omnibus, imitantur mores
Hoc quod frigus laeserat, reparant calores
Cernimus hoc fieri, per multos labores.

Sunt prata plena floribus, iucunda aspectu
Ubi iuvat cernere, herbas cum delectu
Gramina et plantae hyeme quiesc unt
Vernali in tempore virent et accresc unt.

Haec vobis pulchre monstrant Deum creatorem
Quem quoque nos credimus omnium factorem
O tempus ergo hilare, quo laetari libet
Renovato nam mundo, nos novari decet.

Terra ornatur floribus et multo decore
Nos honestis moribus et vero amore
Gaudeamus igitur tempore iucundo
Laudemusque Dominum pectoris ex fundo.

Allow me to translate :-

Time is fluid, insurgents name flowers
Venables in a bus, imitates Moyes
Quad bikes and cold laserquest repair calories
Ceramic hob fire, for a multitude of labours

Prattling plane flower-bus, Sekonda aspect
From what l've heard herbal cum is delightful
Gramdma's plant hymen is quite a c*nt
Venables in virile time is actually a c*nt

Pulchritude created duelling monsters
That's only credible in an ominous factory
O time is thus hilarious, fingered a librarian
Renovate my mound in your new deceit

Earth's ornate flower-bus is very decorative
No, honestly, death is a lot like love
What's the time on your digital Sekonda
Lauda's scent dominates F1 pectorals.

Great work, Julio.

Supermarket update.

Stopped at M&S on the way home last night. 2 beef and red wine stuffed Yorkshires for £4.25. Only 426 calories and low in saturated fat. I can recommend them quite highly.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Don't debate with fools, riCk.

True, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Precisely.

Under pressure at work? I see metals have slipped due to decreased demand from China?

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:Don't debate with fools, riCk.

True, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Precisely.

Under pressure at work? I see metals have slipped due to decreased demand from China?

Nope. Any pgm trader worth a w*nk has been running short for months. I don't need prices to rally, I just need them to move. Up or down. Makes no difference to me.

winker

Bells

Shah, the birds were hot today... beaks were agape in distress. Gave the poor buggers a big container of water to swim in.

seanmichaels wrote:Supermarket update.

Stopped at M&S on the way home last night. 2 beef and red wine stuffed Yorkshires for £4.25. Only 426 calories and low in saturated fat. I can recommend them quite highly.

The M&S.

Sloppy.

The M&S used to do tremendous Choux Buns...haven't had them from their for ages so have no idea if they're still up to scratch. Certainly can't be bothered trailing all the way across town just to find out. Sean, get on the case and report back asap

Also, Fury is a twonk of the highest order, the only reason I haven't signed up for him to be shot into space is because he was on the Jeremy Vine show the other day and, by default, was only the second most annoying c*nt in the room. When he usurps Vine in the c*nt stakes, I'll build the bloody rocket myself (I'm kidding, it will never happen)

Also, must compliment Rick on his tremendous examples of biblical (in)tolerance (although I simply saw them as other perfectly good reasons to want to kill people)

Adam D wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Supermarket update.

Stopped at M&S on the way home last night. 2 beef and red wine stuffed Yorkshires for £4.25. Only 426 calories and low in saturated fat. I can recommend them quite highly.

The M&S.

Sloppy.

Agreed. Apalling.

DAVE667 wrote:The M&S used to do tremendous Choux Buns...haven't had them from their for ages so have no idea if they're still up to scratch. Certainly can't be bothered trailing all the way across town just to find out. Sean, get on the case and report back asap

Are Choux buns like Choux pastry that you see on bake off. I always assumed it was 'shoe' pastry because they look shoes... (that galted would probably wear)