It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

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A booze-pilfering drunken feral pig has caused chaos by running amok at an Australian campsite and starting a fight with a cow.

The belligerent porker went on a drunken bender after stealing and drinking three six-packs of beer that had been left out by campers at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland, Australia.

In the predictable series of events that followed the animal went on to ransack rubbish bin bags to find some late-night snacks before starting a fight with an innocent eyewitness cow.

Following the boarish rampage the pig decided to swim out into the middle of a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep.

One camper named Merida recounted the tale to the ABC network: "It was in the middle of the night and it was these people camping opposite us and they heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans."

"Then he went and raided their rubbish that they had sort of covered over with a bin as well.

"And then there was some other people camped right on the river and they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow.

"It was going around and around and then it went into the river and swam across to the middle of the river.

"The people that were camped on the river went across and crept up on it and it was hiding and sleeping under a big log right on the edge of the water."

"It was sort of coming from there for a couple of days but we didn't see it this morning or last night."

Morning Rick. Interesting facts but what about chinchillas, capuchins and sea urchins?

That is a good point Galted, I will amend future facts accordingly, also, anything from China.

Would also suggest that chimpanzees have chins. The ones I've seen certainly do. Then again maybe cos I'm surrounded by so many chinless wonders it just appears that way!
Hi, Galted.

Are they chins or jaws?

I am not sure.

Galted wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Morning Shah... things have taken a surreal turn when you're my most ardent supporter. I assume this is how radicalisation begins. Still,  beggars can't be choosers... except those who rightly refuse to nosh off Galted

Actually, the joke's on you - no beggar's refused to nosh me off.

Keith Chegwin is a recovering alcoholic. Cheggers can't be a boozer.

Perhaps they are Jins.

Or chaws?

Who knows.

Anecdotally a Chinese phone book has a few I believe.

Afternoon supes/TSRRN

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Perhaps they are Jins.

Or chaws?

Who knows.

It was something like this which delayed indefinitely the application of Nadeem.

Afternoon Rick (et al)

Just interviewed a young lady from Newport for one of our Admin positions, who, when asked what her weaknesses were, replied:

"Sometimes when I get too relaxed at work I say c**t a lot".

Wales - the country that keeps on giving.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Perhaps they are Jins.

Or chaws?

Who knows.

It was something like this which delayed indefinitely the application  of Nadeem.

Lesson learned (rapidly) Shah.

Won't happen again.

What is your main weakness?

Honesty

That is not a weakness

I don't give a F**k what you think...

Anyhoo, she should probably get the job.

Excellent. Raf's application was delayed because one he got knocked out by a girl and two he had blonde highlights in his hair. He also used the word douche with great regularity.

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Afternoon Rick (et al)

Just interviewed a young lady from Newport for one of our Admin positions, who, when asked what her weaknesses were, replied:

"Sometimes when I get too relaxed at work I say c**t a lot".

Wales - the country that keeps on giving.

If she's a looker hire her then give her a celebratory drink and ask her where she wants you.

Afternoon Rick and to everyone else. Crazy season has kicked off at work so will be the useful stressful December with the occasional foul mouth tirade directed at no one in particular.

Have you been to Newport before Shah?

rick_dagless wrote:What is your main weakness?

Honesty

That is not a weakness

I don't give a F**k what you think...

Anyhoo, she should probably get the job.

Still love that answer Keith gave in The Office.

What are your weaknesses?

Eczema.

I went once mate just to pick someone up. Saw about 20 women big bums t*ts but only one with straight teeth

http://www.ilivehere.co.uk/newport-south-wales.html

DAVE667 wrote:Would also suggest that chimpanzees have chins. The ones I've seen certainly do. Then again maybe cos I'm surrounded by so many chinless wonders it just appears that way!
Hi, Galted.

Hello DAVE. I am simultaneously glad and terrified to know that you're well and that your absence was not a permanent one.

ShahenshahG wrote:I went once mate just to pick someone up. Saw about 20 women big bums t*ts but only one with straight teeth

She was a tourist.

Sconed like a bitch.

Gutentag notcherinos

Morning mate, what does the day have in store for you?

Full day at work today rick. all 16 hours of it. My aching bones protest but I soldier on and on. What about you?

That is a long time to be fair mate, I am sure the CC will guide you through.

I am in the North today, which is a plus, and relatively meeting free so might actually get something done for once. Though gym tonight and have not been for a while so it is going to hurt I suspect.

3rd prize (£10!) in my writers' group short story competition. Not bad for my first short story in 30 years. Well chuffed.

Excellent work Jules, still bringing culture to the cup.

BIG JOCK KNEW.

Wake up ye nobbers

Send us a link, Julius. Might want to enter it in another competition.

Ah well, if you're not going to oblige I'll submit another one called The Old Man And The Sea.

Traffic to the office was not great this morning.

I seem to have used the edit function instead of the quote.

What a c*nt.

Corned beef and pickle sandwich, chips, milk. 6/10

Fact of the day

25 years since Freddie Mercury died so here are some facts about Freddie.

Freddie designed the famous Queen emblem himself, thanks to a degree in art and graphic design from Ealing Art College.

He once owned as many as 10 cats, even dedicating an album and a song dedicated to them (Mr. Bad Guy)

He had a long-term relationship with a woman in the early 70s named Mary Austin. When he died, he left her most of his money, his house, and his recording royalties.

His trademark "bottomless mic" happened by accident. Whilst performing a show early in Queen's career, his mic stand snapped mid-performance. Instead of replacing it, he carried on performing and continued to use mic stand from then on.

Queen won the Brit Award for Outstanding Contribution in 1990. All four members of the band came to the stage to accept the award. It was Mercury's last appearance in front of an audience.

Freddie was an avid and fastidious philatelist (stamp collector). His extensive collection is still exhibited at stamp shows world-wide as being under the estate of his birth name.

He was voted number 59 in the BBC's poll of the 100 greatest Britons, but was born in Zanzibar.

Freddie Mercury's birth name was Farrokh Bulsara. He legally changed his name to Freddie Mercury around 1970, when Queen was formed

He and family were Parsi and practiced Zoroastrian religion. His funeral service was performed by a Zoroastrian priest.

Freddie wrote Crazy Little Thing Called Love in the bath. He was in the tub at a hotel and got inspired for the song, it is said that he even had the piano brought to his tub to allow him to compose.

Freddie Mercury was inducted into the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame (as a member of Queen) in 2001.

A species of yellow flowers was named after Freddie Mercury after his death.

When asked what one of Queen's most famous songs Bohemian Rhapsody meant, he replied "It bears no real meaning, it's all rhyming nonsense."

A statue was unveiled in Montreux, Switzerland on 25 November 1996. It stands at over three meres high and overlooks Lake Geneva.

Kurt Cobain mentioned Freddie Mercury in his suicide note, explaining how he admired and envied his ability to perform and embrace the love of his audience.

Freddie had a recorded range of three (almost four) octave, with a majority of his singing falling in the tenor range.

Although flamboyant entertainer on stage, Freddie was very shy in real life and hardly ever gave interviews.

Queen's original lead singer was one of Freddie's friends, Tim Staffell, who recommended to Freddie work with the band instead.

Freddie wrote the song Who Wants To Live Forever? In a car whilst the band were driving back from watching preview of the film Highlander.

Hello... long time reader, first time poster. This all seems like jolly good fun and you all seem very nice people.... except this Galted character, he seems dreadful.

Welcome Serial, it's always good to see fresh blood on the forum. I'm assuming you can provide fresh blood on a regular basis?

I'll certainly have a stab at it!

Welcome to the board serial! Any strong views on any celebrities at all?

And your work colleagues - any strong views on them?

Or any posters you think are C**ts?

On a separate note, does anyone get a slight feel of dread when you go into a toilet a work, and the seat is down, and you have no idea what is under there, as grown, professional males appear to be incapable of correct toilet etiquette?

Afternoon notches, miserable slow day with the boss turning up and closing down the kitchen for works. C*nt. Starving now. Deliveries don't start till 6.

Serial wrote:I'll certainly have a stab at it!

Hello Serial. Welcome to the Culture Cup. If you want to fit in you should watch a motion picture called Barton Fink. It's damn good.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-38093482

Anthony Kiedis has let himself go.

rick_dagless wrote:On a separate note, does anyone get a slight feel of dread when you go into a toilet a work, and the seat is down, and you have no idea what is under there, as grown, professional males appear to be incapable of correct toilet etiquette?

Nope, just you Rick.

I do however, detest more than anything in life, sitting on a toilet seat and it's warm.

It's like literally touching bums.

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:On a separate note, does anyone get a slight feel of dread when you go into a toilet a work, and the seat is down, and you have no idea what is under there, as grown, professional males appear to be incapable of correct toilet etiquette?

Nope, just you Rick.

I do however, detest more than anything in life, sitting on a toilet seat and it's warm.

It's like literally touching bums.

None of us except Sean (and possibly galted) have touched bums with another man so we wouldn't know. But you've now michaelsed the thread and made a funny so as the only one bothered and our desperate state I hereby welcome you into the CC community as a fully paid up member.

I'm now the happiest man an evening ever sees.

You're a good man Shah regardless of what everyone else thinks

I feel like we should have a ceremony or something, but thanks for making me feel all alone in the world TSRRN...

Fist

rick_dagless wrote:I feel like we should have a ceremony or something, but thanks for making me feel all alone in the world TSRRN...

Fist

Take solace that in naming himself Tattie Scones - he is in effect calling himself a sh*t scone because Tattie, means a piece of sh*t in Pahari slang.

That does make me feel better mate, and I have learned something...

Morning dude, you well?

Pretty good actually mate but, I think I'm on the edge of getting diabetes. Skittles are making me feel sick! Back to the gym tomorrow. I think my hard work this year will pay off big time as its possible I will be on holiday from 2nd of December to 4 of January. Still got 16 paid holidays left. What about you?