It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 17 Nov 2016, 7:43 am

First topic message reminder :

A booze-pilfering drunken feral pig has caused chaos by running amok at an Australian campsite and starting a fight with a cow.

The belligerent porker went on a drunken bender after stealing and drinking three six-packs of beer that had been left out by campers at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland, Australia.

In the predictable series of events that followed the animal went on to ransack rubbish bin bags to find some late-night snacks before starting a fight with an innocent eyewitness cow.

Following the boarish rampage the pig decided to swim out into the middle of a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep.

One camper named Merida recounted the tale to the ABC network: "It was in the middle of the night and it was these people camping opposite us and they heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans."

"Then he went and raided their rubbish that they had sort of covered over with a bin as well.

"And then there was some other people camped right on the river and they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow.

"It was going around and around and then it went into the river and swam across to the middle of the river.

"The people that were camped on the river went across and crept up on it and it was hiding and sleeping under a big log right on the edge of the water."

"It was sort of coming from there for a couple of days but we didn't see it this morning or last night."

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 30 Nov 2016, 11:48 am

Maybe some arthropod/insect talk should do it.

Did you know you can tell the sex of an ant by placing it on water? If it sinks it is a girl, and if it floats it is boy ant...

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 30 Nov 2016, 11:50 am

What if the she ant isn't a witch?

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 30 Nov 2016, 11:54 am

Burn it anyway

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 30 Nov 2016, 11:56 am

I don't want Ant Aslan coming after me.

https://goo.gl/images/djNAdx

by **Galted** Wed 30 Nov 2016, 12:11 pm

Lol out loud.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 6:36 am

Not dead or bummed

I reckon jules' daughter's bloke must have knocked one out in the time of a driving lesson. Wouldn't be a pleasant thought....

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 8:25 am

Thanks for ruining my day sean.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 9:11 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:Thanks for ruining my day sean.

Why would Sean being alive and not bummed ruin your day?

by **Galted** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 11:19 am

Sh*t on here today.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 11:35 am

Morning all... Anything interesting happening?

Fact of the day

Male chess players adopt riskier strategies when playing against beautiful women.

Chewbacca’s voice was created by combining the sounds of a bear, a walrus, a lion and a badger.

A male right whale is half the size of a male blue whale but has testes five times bigger: each one weighs as much as a large horse.

Exocet is French for ‘flying fish’.

The Red Arrows were originally known as the Red Pelicans.

The ancient Greeks had no word for religion.

Franz Kafka liked to exercise naked in front of the window.

A lethal dose of chocolate for a human being is about 22 lb or 40 bars of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk. A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

In 1811, nearly a quarter of all the women in Britain were named Mary.

On the planet PSO J318.5-22 it rains molten metal

If all the asteroids in the Solar System were lumped together, they’d be smaller than the Moon.

Up to 2010, Wikipedia had taken 100 million person-hours to write: about the same amount of time that the population of the USA spends watching TV ad breaks in a single weekend.

And finally

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 12:14 pm

And finally?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 12:17 pm

And Finally

Quote of the day

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

Jay Leno

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 12:34 pm

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 12:34 pm

http://maketodayhappy.co.uk/act-of-kindness-24-kindness-advent-calendar/

by **Galted** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 1:03 pm

Much better on here now. Keep this up and Jeff might find it worthwhile to drop in for a post or two.

by **superflyweight** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 1:26 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all... Anything interesting happening?

Fact of the day

Male chess players adopt riskier strategies when playing against beautiful women.

Chewbacca’s voice was created by combining the sounds of a bear, a walrus, a lion and a badger.

A male right whale is half the size of a male blue whale but has testes five times bigger: each one weighs as much as a large horse.

Exocet is French for ‘flying fish’.

The Red Arrows were originally known as the Red Pelicans.

The ancient Greeks had no word for religion.

Franz Kafka liked to exercise naked in front of the window.

A lethal dose of chocolate for a human being is about 22 lb or 40 bars of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk. A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

In 1811, nearly a quarter of all the women in Britain were named Mary.

On the planet PSO J318.5-22 it rains molten metal

If all the asteroids in the Solar System were lumped together, they’d be smaller than the Moon.

Up to 2010, Wikipedia had taken 100 million person-hours to write: about the same amount of time that the population of the USA spends watching TV ad breaks in a single weekend.

And finally

A laden or unladen horse?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 2:11 pm

Unladen.

by **Galted** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 2:29 pm

How do they know that Americans watch the ads? They might use the ad time to fetch a hotdog or a delicious burrito.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 2:31 pm

They watch them, watching them, via webcams and the suchlike.

by **Galted** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 2:46 pm

That's a bit worrying as I have been to America and I am fairly sure that I fiddled with not only my c*ck, but my balls whilst the ads were on.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 3:33 pm

rick_dagless wrote:A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

Yes, if you throw it hard enough.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 4:11 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

Yes, if you throw it hard enough.

and no if you leave it in the rapper.

by **Galted** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 6:29 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

Yes, if you throw it hard enough.

and no if you leave it in the rapper.

Is that a spelling mistake or a potentially very clever pun that's gone partly over my head?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 6:45 pm

Galted wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

Yes, if you throw it hard enough.

and no if you leave it in the rapper.

Is that a spelling mistake or a potentially very clever pun that's gone partly over my head?

It's a very clever pun about Eminem.

by **Galted** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 7:41 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Galted wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

Yes, if you throw it hard enough.

and no if you leave it in the rapper.

Is that a spelling mistake or a potentially very clever pun that's gone partly over my head?

It's a very clever pun about Eminem.

Then very good, that was Julius-like.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 01 Dec 2016, 7:54 pm

Galted wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Galted wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

Yes, if you throw it hard enough.

and no if you leave it in the rapper.

Is that a spelling mistake or a potentially very clever pun that's gone partly over my head?

It's a very clever pun about Eminem.

Then very good, that was Julius-like.

I thought i'd honour the great man as today was the 20th anniversary of his death. Alas poor Irving "Julius" Gordon, I knew him well.

by Guest Thu 01 Dec 2016, 10:00 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all... Anything interesting happening?

Fact of the day

Male chess players adopt riskier strategies when playing against beautiful women.

Chewbacca’s voice was created by combining the sounds of a bear, a walrus, a lion and a badger. I THOUGHT IT WAS ACHIEVED BY GARGLING WHILST IMPERSONATING BLAKEY FROM "ON THE BUSES"

A male right whale is half the size of a male blue whale but has testes five times bigger: each one weighs as much as a large horse.

Exocet is French for ‘flying fish’.

The Red Arrows were originally known as the Red Pelicans.

The ancient Greeks had no word for religion.

Franz Kafka liked to exercise naked in front of the window.

A lethal dose of chocolate for a human being is about 22 lb or 40 bars of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk. A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

In 1811, nearly a quarter of all the women in Britain were named Mary.

On the planet PSO J318.5-22 it rains molten metal

If all the asteroids in the Solar System were lumped together, they’d be smaller than the Moon.

Up to 2010, Wikipedia had taken 100 million person-hours to write: about the same amount of time that the population of the USA spends watching TV ad breaks in a single weekend.

And finally

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 02 Dec 2016, 7:47 am

Lost for words are we?

by Guest Fri 02 Dec 2016, 12:28 pm

No it's in bold in the main body of the text... I'm using my phone and it's a nuisance.

by Tattie Scones RRN Fri 02 Dec 2016, 12:31 pm

Afternoon All.

And goodbye as I'm off home in a minute.

by Tattie Scones RRN Fri 02 Dec 2016, 12:32 pm

But before I go, I just tried one of those Rustler microwave burgers.

Not bad actually......8/10.

I now feel complete as a person having scored my dinner (or lunch as it's known by you posh English types).

by **Galted** Fri 02 Dec 2016, 12:40 pm

I used to have a Rustler microwaveable chicken burger or two during drinking sessions. Very decent they were, very bloody decent.

by **JuliusHMarx** Sun 04 Dec 2016, 4:24 pm

My cat got run over an killed this morning. Awful.

by **Galted** Sun 04 Dec 2016, 7:23 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:My cat got run over an killed this morning. Awful.

Sorry to hear that, Julius. Awful is the word.

by **ShahenshahG** Sun 04 Dec 2016, 8:59 pm

Sorry to hear that Jules

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 05 Dec 2016, 6:51 am

Morning Notches

by **Galted** Mon 05 Dec 2016, 9:14 am

Hello!

by **seanmichaels** Mon 05 Dec 2016, 11:25 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:My cat got run over an killed this morning. Awful.

Sorry to hear that old boy. Did they stop?

I have one I would like to rehome but he is a needy cnut.

by **seanmichaels** Mon 05 Dec 2016, 11:27 am

Watched Independence Day 2 the other day. Annoying as had the potential to be even better than the 1st. Almost seemed like they ran out of money 2/3rds in though. Shame

by **Galted** Mon 05 Dec 2016, 12:24 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Watched Independence Day 2 the other day. Annoying as had the potential to be even better than the 1st. Almost seemed like they ran out of money 2/3rds in though. Shame

Every film made since 1996 has the potential to be better than Independence Day and almost all of these films have fulfilled this potential.

by **seanmichaels** Mon 05 Dec 2016, 4:56 pm

Bit Poopie on here today.

I am currently sat in a supermarket car park. In the Children's parking bay. I really don't give a Poopie. A child can easily squeeze in and out of your average parking bay with due care and attention from parents. If they changed the sign to fat fecking housewives I would respect the parking rules. It is clearly what they are for

by **Galted** Mon 05 Dec 2016, 5:58 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Bit Poopie on here today.

I am currently sat in a supermarket car park. In the Children's parking bay. I really don't give a Poopie. A child can easily squeeze in and out of your average parking bay with due care and attention from parents. If they changed the sign to fat fecking housewives I would respect the parking rules. It is clearly what they are for

I hope you're sitting in a car and haven't gone off the rails a bit.

There is something wrong on here when the bulk of the posts are from us.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 06 Dec 2016, 6:51 am

It's true. Rick I think is in Copenhagen doing Christmas shopping the foreigner enriching traitor. Serial is still under close observation. I pity the poor sod who has to look closely at his distorted reflection in Daves cue ball. Rowley has joined the populist wave and only visits when it's buzzing here which sadly due to time constraints isn't very often. Tattie contributes but disappears often which irritates me as he isn't even working for me. Alistair is probably accidently bumming his wife again. TLD is sitting back in his pool blissfully avoiding the news of current sporting events save when he hears that Oz have won. Dolphin and Hero are probably bitching on the football boards and raf is probably still unconscious from the old lady who opened the door for him. Superflyweight has probably gone to the bar exam and is now drooling onto the floor and telling everyone on TripAdvisor that he loves them. Tina of course is attending a violence anonymous meeting where the poor broken souls are so fed up of listening to his stories they're considering whether if they deserved their beatings as much Tina did.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 06 Dec 2016, 7:24 am

seanmichaels wrote:Bit Poopie on here today.

I am currently sat in a supermarket car park. In the Children's parking bay. I really don't give a Poopie. A child can easily squeeze in and out of your average parking bay with due care and attention from parents. If they changed the sign to fat fecking housewives I would respect the parking rules. It is clearly what they are for

It's there so people can open the door fully and unbuckle their children from a car seat you stupid c*m guzzling slag.

by **Galted** Tue 06 Dec 2016, 7:59 am

Good effort, Shah. You've kept the cup going for another day at least.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 06 Dec 2016, 8:20 am

I'm in all day today though it looks like a busy one

by **Galted** Tue 06 Dec 2016, 8:37 am

I'll try to pop in every once in a while to see how you're getting on.

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Tue 06 Dec 2016, 8:39 am

This teaching lark keeps me away, noncing ain't easy outside of Crewe

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 06 Dec 2016, 9:19 am

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:This teaching lark keeps me away, noncing ain't easy outside of Crewe

West Ham or Rotherham United?

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Tue 06 Dec 2016, 11:02 am

If it's United then it's Manchester United, all others are void

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