It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

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A booze-pilfering drunken feral pig has caused chaos by running amok at an Australian campsite and starting a fight with a cow.

The belligerent porker went on a drunken bender after stealing and drinking three six-packs of beer that had been left out by campers at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland, Australia.

In the predictable series of events that followed the animal went on to ransack rubbish bin bags to find some late-night snacks before starting a fight with an innocent eyewitness cow.

Following the boarish rampage the pig decided to swim out into the middle of a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep.

One camper named Merida recounted the tale to the ABC network: "It was in the middle of the night and it was these people camping opposite us and they heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans."

"Then he went and raided their rubbish that they had sort of covered over with a bin as well.

"And then there was some other people camped right on the river and they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow.

"It was going around and around and then it went into the river and swam across to the middle of the river.

"The people that were camped on the river went across and crept up on it and it was hiding and sleeping under a big log right on the edge of the water."

"It was sort of coming from there for a couple of days but we didn't see it this morning or last night."

Afternoon Infidels f*ggots
Cheese, Chips and Beans with a bottle of ice cold citrus Oasis 10/10

Long time since such simple fare tasted this good.

Everything seems to be in order here.

As you were.

I see that nothing's been allowed to get out of control here.

Good work, Shah. Bloody good work.

Cheese salad with salad cream on white bread. 8/10. Heinz you beauty.

Have you tried cheese, chips and coleslaw Shah?

It's like a Mardi Gras on your tongue.

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Have you tried cheese, chips and coleslaw Shah?

It's like a Mardi Gras on your tongue.

Yes I have but with Donner added and chilli sauce.

13/10

Mustard

Morning Notches.

Morning, Shah. Still the cup breathes.

While there's life, there's hope.
Although no hope that Tino will come back, the c*nt.

It's on life support, like its founder, the north's answer to Dyson's bag-less vacuum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnvBJw4gkPc

Morning ladies.

I see from the news this morning that it's illegal to feed a horse in Manchester.

Animal cruelty at its finest.

Diana avenging herself from beyond the grave?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-UpI9KgBCs

A marvel

Out damn spot, out I say, says Tino to his wife's sanitary pad as his son rubs it into Tino's face.

Morning all.. my forced exile from t'internet is getting me down. I'm even starting to miss Shah... but not Galted obviously!!!

I miss you too mate, quiet days on t' board. We've only got two men standing so the silence is oppressive, we're like Chandler enjoying Christmas when everyone is kicking off.

Serial wrote:Morning all.. my forced exile from t'internet is getting me down. I'm even starting to miss Shah... but not Galted obviously!!!

I'm big enough to not be offended by that and to admit that I miss serialDAVE even though he's a colossal c*nt who has a sh*t taste in films.

Morning all. Moulin Rouge again last night Galted?

Morning Julius, If you are David Attenborough I will actually cry when you die. Planet earth 2 is King.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Morning all.  Moulin Rouge again last night Galted?

I have not watched Moulin Rouge and have no intention of watching Moulin Rouge, Julius.

If it's a joke it's currently some distance over my head and I apologise for my slow-wittedness.

Not Just yet, once MORRRRRRRRE unto the breach dear friends once more. NO NO not michaels bum!

Very good, Shah. I am going to use your inspiring speech to kick-start my day as soon as I finish this poo I'm having.

I'm not John Glenn.

Nor Greg Lake

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Nor Greg Lake

He'll get the Christmas he deserves.

Kebab roll and chips. Onion rings and garlic bread. 12/10

I've finished my poo now.

I feel much better.

Met a bird. Looks like Jane weidlin in the 80's. Or Lori petty in point break.. All the best comes to those who wait

Celebrating by watching a war film. Battle of Britain. Bad tomato ketchup blood effects but good nostalgia

Weidlin's massively doable but I'd celebrate by watching Barton Fink. Full Metal Jacket if it had to be a war film.

seanmichaels wrote:Met a bird. Looks like Jane weidlin in the 80's. Or Lori petty in point break.. All the best comes to those who wait

Do you go driving in the rush hour?

Morning all, what have I missed?

Gutentag Notches

Misty morning, quite enjoyable. Macabre is the word of the day. Settle down Dave.

Morning, Shah, are you well?

Hullo Rick the Plick, how was copenhaaaagen

All good mate, getting our wires crossed today

We are indeed, Shah, but hey ho, it was Bruges mate, and it was very nice, lots of food, bits of culture and some strange ales.

Some nice chill time with Mrs D as well.

What have you been up to?

Fighting the system, got my payrise and my holidays paid for. Just have to sort out the backpay. Other than that just dull dull days. How does it feel to be back at work after such an excellent holiday.

Fight the power Shah, nice to hear that though, and good news for Christmas, or whatever else you pagan barbarians celebrate.

It feel laborious to be honest mate, so many emails, that could've been dealt with in my absence, that have not because people are idiots...

What's been going down in cup town?

Not much just popped in enough to keep things going but nothing much to report. Except tattie is a climate change sceptic the ignorant peasant. Was busy sorting out finances. Lots of payments cleared in January so delighted to start the new year in the black. Sky contract has run out so won't be contributing to Rupert decking murdoch anymore

I never bother with Sky, the beauty of living a childless life is if I want to watch sport, which is basically the only thing I would want Sky for, I go to the pub.

All else is basically Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Got the fight from now tv at the weekend. Not being a boxing snob, I thoroughly enjoyed the chisora fight. Thought he deserved the nod

We don't even have a TV, it's just been the best ISP in the area until recently. Their feud with BT over openreach has led to ridiculously regular cutouts so switching out. I dont know if you got a subscription to the FT mate but you might want to consider it. Its like scientists versus cavemen post brexit and you learn something new everyday.

ShahenshahG wrote:Not much just popped in enough to keep things going but nothing much to report. Except tattie is a climate change sceptic the ignorant peasant. Was busy sorting out finances. Lots of payments cleared in January so delighted to start the new year in the black. Sky contract has run out so won't be contributing to Rupert decking murdoch anymore

Heh heh.

Morning all.

Yesterday I was walking along an East Devon seafront with the boys on their bikes, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and jeans.

Today in Wales, it's raining like f**k.

Isn't denial of climate change a bar to entry of the Culture Cup?

I know we still let sean in but he's essentially our village idiot and he'd die if we exiled him.

Rampant on here today.

Afternoon one and all, today is dragging somewhat.

Yeah, it's all pretty sh1te really.

Wonder if serial has made his festive switch from slay to sleigh yet?