It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

First topic message reminder :

A booze-pilfering drunken feral pig has caused chaos by running amok at an Australian campsite and starting a fight with a cow.

The belligerent porker went on a drunken bender after stealing and drinking three six-packs of beer that had been left out by campers at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland, Australia.

In the predictable series of events that followed the animal went on to ransack rubbish bin bags to find some late-night snacks before starting a fight with an innocent eyewitness cow.

Following the boarish rampage the pig decided to swim out into the middle of a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep.

One camper named Merida recounted the tale to the ABC network: "It was in the middle of the night and it was these people camping opposite us and they heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans."

"Then he went and raided their rubbish that they had sort of covered over with a bin as well.

"And then there was some other people camped right on the river and they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow.

"It was going around and around and then it went into the river and swam across to the middle of the river.

"The people that were camped on the river went across and crept up on it and it was hiding and sleeping under a big log right on the edge of the water."

"It was sort of coming from there for a couple of days but we didn't see it this morning or last night."

I bought a waterproof jacket from aldi. Kagool. Best clothing item I have ever bought. 100% waterproof and makes me look rock n roll even whilst gardening

REM did a song called Gardening At Night. That's pretty rock 'n roll.

Morning notches, great day for the cup yesterday, well done new and old.

Fist.

Morning Rick the Wick, Julius's Ruby Wax joke went down a treat. Three days of reasonable sleep and i'm raring to go. All good in the hood or has the snow descended upon you?

No snow yet mate, but it is due today so let's see how we go, I have stayed in the Northern office just to be sure.

Toppy is calling people kiddo and using lots of full stops... Strange.

rick_dagless wrote:No snow yet mate, but it is due today so let's see how we go, I have stayed in the Northern office just to be sure.

Toppy is calling people kiddo and using lots of full stops... Strange.

Southern attitude.

It's interesting that Truss has developed from a lefty to licking Trump's balls. We've actually watched his midlife crisis transform him into a gibbering idiot. This has coincided with his cutting back on the steds allegedly so his mental state is one of withdrawal, Toppy does a good impression to be fair.

I notice duty and Tino are both missing...

I still occasionally go on to the off topic, which has seen mass immigration from the boxing board, and usually regret it.

I may just stay on the computer game thread, because that's how I roll.

Morning chaps.

Weather report from Newport.....

It's dark and raining.

Yet local tw@ts still drive round with no lights on forgetting to indicate.

But it's the people's way round here I suppose.

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Morning chaps.

Weather report from Newport.....

It's dark and raining.

Yet local tw@ts still drive round with no lights on forgetting to indicate.

But it's the people's way round here I suppose.

You can rest assured that I'm not one of them, Tattie. Not only do I not drive but I'm currently sitting on a toilet near Liverpool Street transferring some crap from my rectum to the Greater London sewerage system.

Done.

Excellent work Galts.

Any decent graffiti on the cubicle walls?

None. I need to order a permanent marker so that I can draw a picture of a c*ck on the door and write "w*nker" over the toilet roll holder.

A jizzing man sausage one presumes?

Yes. Three droplets in a line.

Don't forget the cactus-like pubes.

Excellent, I always enjoy the classics.

Brilliant aren't they?

I particularly like the one where you have a tiny piece of paper and write PTO on both sides then give it to someone.

Hours of fun.

I gave Shah a piece of paper that said PLO on both sides.

Repast. 7/10

rick_dagless wrote:Repast. 7/10

Repost. 7/10

Once was in a bog where someone had written if you want to play toilet tennis look left. I did. On the other side it Sai if you want to play toilet tennis look right. Took me a while to work it out

Michaelsed and a lol out loud moment. Fine work.

Ball meltingly hot here. Wish I was in Northumbria. Flawse Hall to be more precise.

Snowing in Bradders.

Morning all.

Fist

Morning Rick the Sickened, just spent half an hour gritting the fecking pathways and then the gritters turned up. freezing as balls but no further snow methinks.

Baltic darn sarf last night. My weather chap said on Monday that this cold snap not the one to worry about. This time next week and Feb he predicts going to be bad.

seanmichaels wrote: Baltic darn sarf last night. My weather chap said on Monday that this cold snap not the one to worry about. This time next week and Feb he predicts going to be bad.

Did you forget to put out the bins?

seanmichaels wrote: Baltic darn sarf last night. My weather chap said on Monday that this cold snap not the one to worry about. This time next week and Feb he predicts going to be bad.

Weather people talk sh1te. My mate works in forecasting for the environment agency and he told me that they can't predict the weather with any degree of certainty more than three days in advance. Long term forecasting (beyond 5 days) is just bullsh1t and you might as well read your horoscope.

My horoscope said it would be cold next Friday with a chance of sleet/snow.
Oddly, the weather forecast said I would meet a tall, dark stranger.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I gave Shah a piece of paper that said PLO on both sides.

Constipation?

JuliusHMarx wrote:My horoscope said it would be cold next Friday with a chance of sleet/snow.
Oddly, the weather forecast said I would meet a tall, dark stranger.

Probably the Grim Reaper.

superflyweight wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:My horoscope said it would be cold next Friday with a chance of sleet/snow.
Oddly, the weather forecast said I would meet a tall, dark stranger.

Probably the Grim Reaper.  

He's no stranger.

Marxed tae fack

We'll need to put a rota in place to make sure that Jules is ok during this cold snap. I'll take round some canned goods for him - can anyone else spare some blankets and portable fan heater?

No? No one else going to volunteer to help an old man?

Heartless b@stards.

You do realise that when each of us dies Julius is going to be accused of being us and then will promptly deny it. Let the fecker freeze.

I'm not Tino.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I'm not Tino.

That's a relief - I was starting to think that Tina had as many aliases as Truss.

I'm not Lord Snowden.

I'm not William Blatty.

superflyweight wrote:We'll need to put a rota in place to make sure that Jules is ok during this cold snap.  I'll take round some canned goods for him - can anyone else spare some blankets and portable fan heater?  

I've got a wireless he can have. He can listen to it if he has a bad fall and has to while away the hours waiting for the ambulancepeople.

I already have a wireless Galted. How else would I listen to The Archers and the shipping forecast?

I would take a roast dinner to Jules on a Sunday. And watch a black and white war film with him.

I have a dilemma. Frenchie or 26 yr old wiedlin. Kind of wish neither. Women mental

Why not both?

You infidels baffle me with your either/or approach to women.

Alas poor Jimmy "Julius" the Superfly Snuka, I knew him well.

I wonder if Jules goes through the quickening every time we lose a member.

Morning Shah, is one well?

One is tolerable though baffled, how is oneself?

Wherefore art thou baffled dear Shah?

I am good, just come back down to the southern office today to find my desk has now gone, which, although I am not that bothered as I intend to spend minimal time at it, somehow still irks...

Weekend was pretty good, so all cool in the pool, and this weekend I intend to go to the Arcade Club in Bury, which I am unfeasibly looking forward to.