Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread XV Men Chasing An Egg?!

[A Simply Mesmeric Try]

First topic message reminder :

          
Edinburgh & Glasgow Warriors

http://www.glasgowwarriors.org/
http://www.edinburghrugby.org/

A NOT SO BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME-WASTING   (CLICK TO SHOW/HIDE):

1872 Cup

Champions                Runner up
Edinburgh                  Glasgow Warriors
 

1872 CUP - PAST RESULTS   (CLICK TO SHOW/HIDE):

Guinness Pro12

Guinness Pro12 Website
Edinburgh Rugby (Pro12 Website)
Glasgow Warriors (Pro12 Website)
Guinness Pro12 2016/17 Overview (Ultimate Rugby)



Playlist of all of Edinburgh's Pro12 highlights here.
Playlist of all of Glasgow's Pro12 highlights here.

Europe

European Rugby Website

CHAMPIONS CUP
QUARTER FINAL
SARACENS v GLASGOW WARRIORS
Sun, Apr 2, 13:00, Allianz Park

CHALLENGE CUP
QUARTER FINAL
EDINBURGH v LA ROCHELLE
Fri, March 31, 19:00, Murrayfield Stadium

Both European Finals are at Murrayfield.

[InjuredYetAgain]

Anyway, I wonder if in a non-bad taste way, Nel's injury could be fortuitous and put prospective clubs off him. No-one would want to spend big on him in case his neck packs in. I'd rather he stays on in more amicable terms, obviously.

I wonder if we can borrow some Mexican brickies to rebuild Hadrians Wall to stop Nel escaping...

[RDW]

You have heard of Google Images yeah?

[InjuredYetAgain]

What/who is this "Google" of which you speak?

Actually, I remember talking to someone about Jessica Ennis and said that she was ridiculously fit and you could grate carrots on her stomach muscles. To which he (understandably) asked why, if I had Jessica Ennis prone in front of me, would my first thought be to get some grated carrots.... In hindsight, it was a reasonable question for him to ask

[RDW]

[IanBru]

That's amazing.

[tigertattie]

I'd grate my carrot on Jessica

[RuggerRadge2611]

Wow, this thread has declined rapidly.

[tigertattie]

Wow, this thread has declined rapidly.

It's all injured's fault!

You'd think he'd know better at his age!

[Eejit]

I'd grate my carrot on Jessica

That comment is risky.

[R!skysports]

I'd grate my carrot on Jessica

That comment is risky.

Hey!

[RDW]

Surely you mean R!sky

[Eejit]

Now that rugger's not here we can spread gossip, hearsay and continue this thread's decline like it's the rest of Edinburgh's season.

[R!skysports]

Now that rugger's not here we can spread gossip, hearsay and continue this thread's decline like it's the rest of Edinburgh's season.

Is it possible, with just words, to delve so deep into the poopie as an Edinburgh season?

[Eejit]

Oil Kebble to Glasgow confirmed. Looks like it's been accidentally uploaded to the Warriors website.

[TheMildlyFranticLlama]

Oil Kebble to Glasgow confirmed. Looks like it's been accidentally uploaded to the Warriors website.

Quite a slippery character?

I apologise.

[funnyExiledScot]

Oil Kebble to Glasgow confirmed. Looks like it's been accidentally uploaded to the Warriors website.

Quite a slippery character?

I apologise.

He can also be a bit crude.

[George Carlin]

Now that rugger's not here we can spread gossip, hearsay and continue this thread's decline like it's the rest of Edinburgh's season.

Is it possible, with just words, to delve so deep into the poopie as an Edinburgh season?

Not really. You would need a submersible pod, oven gloves, a priest and 9 tanks of oxygen.

[George Carlin]

Oil Kebble to Glasgow confirmed. Looks like it's been accidentally uploaded to the Warriors website.

Quite a slippery character?

I apologise.

He can also be a bit crude.

His girlfriend finds him light and sweet, apparently.

[RDW]

I hear he's virgin

[funnyExiledScot]

Oil Kebble to Glasgow confirmed. Looks like it's been accidentally uploaded to the Warriors website.

Quite a slippery character?

I apologise.

He can also be a bit crude.

His girlfriend finds him light and sweet, apparently.

Perhaps he's a bit more refined than I thought.

[Eejit]

You all think you're so slick with your oil puns.

[RDW]

There's a joke here about the SNP and North Sea Oil but I can't quite put one together!

[Eejit]

There's a joke here about the SNP and North Sea Oil but I can't quite put one together!

Oil prices have plummeted like Edinburgh's season?

[RDW]

There's a joke here about the SNP and North Sea Oil but I can't quite put one together!

Oil prices have plummeted like Edinburgh's season?

That doesn't really tie in with the new signing though!

[funnyExiledScot]

There's a joke here about the SNP and North Sea Oil but I can't quite put one together!

Are they looking to rig IndyRef2?

[R!skysports]

There's a joke here about the SNP and North Sea Oil but I can't quite put one together!

Are they looking to rig IndyRef2?

Oil hope not

[George Carlin]

You all think you're so slick with your oil puns.

We'll end up in Deepwater if we keep going with this.

[funnyExiledScot]

You all think you're so slick with your oil puns.

We'll end up in Deepwater if we keep going with this.

Agreed. We won't be able to Kebble together much more of this.

[tigertattie]

all this talk of Oil will have the unwashed ones thinking about deep fried mars bars!

[InjuredYetAgain]

In other news, I was in Tesco at the weekend and Sugar Puffs have been rebranded Honey Monster Puffs FFS. Is the word "sugar" only to be used in speak-easy"s? How is Weir supposed to order his lunch if he can't use "sugar"?

[InjuredYetAgain]

For the avoidance of doubt, the "FFS" after the new name was purely of my making not a catastrophic marketing department gaff!

[IanBru]

There's a joke here about the SNP and North Sea Oil but I can't quite put one together!

Are they looking to rig IndyRef2?

If they lose, they'll blame it on the Tory Canyon...

[funnyExiledScot]

There's a joke here about the SNP and North Sea Oil but I can't quite put one together!

Are they looking to rig IndyRef2?

If they lose, they'll blame it on the Tory Canyon...

That would be a good nickname for a few female Conservative Special Advisers I know.....

[funnyExiledScot]

In other news, I was in Tesco at the weekend and Sugar Puffs have been rebranded Honey Monster Puffs FFS. Is the word "sugar" only to be used in speak-easy"s?  How is Weir supposed to order his lunch if he can't use "sugar"?

Ridiculous, although I suspect Wee Duncan will manage somehow!

[tigertattie]

In other news, I was in Tesco at the weekend and Sugar Puffs have been rebranded Honey Monster Puffs FFS. Is the word "sugar" only to be used in speak-easy"s?  How is Weir supposed to order his lunch if he can't use "sugar"?

Ridiculous, although I suspect Wee Duncan will manage somehow!

Doesn't he just point at the pictures on the menu anyway?

[EWT Spoons]

I know this has all been confirmed, but Hastings is joining Glasgow next season, Blackadder has pretty much announced it

http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/bath-rugby-are-in-the-market-for-another-fly-half-as-adam-hastings-heads-for-glasgow-warriors/story-30136538-detail/story.html

Adam Hastings will join Glasgow Warriors next season, meaning Bath Rugby are in the market for another fly-half as well as Freddie Burns.

The Chronicle understands a deal has been done for the talented 20-year-old to move to the high-flying Guinness Pro12 side.

Bath's director of rugby Todd Blackadder confirmed the son of Scotland legend Gavin Hastings will not be at the club next season and that if he does join Glasgow as expected, it would be good for his development.

"If Adam moves to Glasgow he'll be under the guidance of (former Waikato Chiefs head coach) Dave Rennie," he said.

"He would go to Glasgow to be their number two fly-half and he wouldn't have been that here, so it makes sense. I would understand that decision."

You can't expect too much from tens early on," the DoR added. "They play in the hardest position on the field.

"They've got to have a great skillset and be really good decision-makers. They take time to develop."

Hastings joined Bath's academy in the summer of 2015 from Millfield School in Somerset and captained the club in the Premiership Singha 7s tournament.

A regular starter in the Aviva A League, he made a couple of Premiership starts during the Six Nations last season, but during this campaign his league appearances have been restricted to a total of 71 minutes from three bench cameos.

[tigertattie]

Still say he should come to Edinburgh and we can offload Weir to Newcastle (they seem to like buying washed up Scottish internationalists)

Glasgow will have Russell, the new, Scottish Qualified, saffa and now Hastings.

Get rid of Weir and have Hastings fight for the shirt with Tovey.

I can see the Saffa fella being shipped to Edinburgh if Glasgow (Rennie) doesn't like what he sees!

[InjuredYetAgain]

Glad he is heading north but Glasgow do seem to get all the cash and therefore high profile signings. I suspect another big name or two may leave Glasgow over the summer to free up money. Anyone know whose contract is ending but whose fate hasn't been announced yet?

[demosthenes]

Still say he should come to Edinburgh and we can offload Weir to Newcastle (they seem to like buying washed up Scottish internationalists)

Glasgow will have Russell, the new, Scottish Qualified, saffa and now Hastings.

Get rid of Weir and have Hastings fight for the shirt with Tovey.

I can see the Saffa fella being shipped to Edinburgh if Glasgow (Rennie) doesn't like what he sees!

Quite certain that this is future planning for the likelihood that Russell will be tempted away next year.

[George Carlin]

In other news, I was in Tesco at the weekend and Sugar Puffs have been rebranded Honey Monster Puffs FFS. Is the word "sugar" only to be used in speak-easy"s?  How is Weir supposed to order his lunch if he can't use "sugar"?

Ridiculous, although I suspect Wee Duncan will manage somehow!

Doesn't he just point at the pictures on the menu anyway?

[Hazel Sapling]

Glad he is heading north but Glasgow do seem to get all the cash and therefore high profile signings. I suspect another big name or two may leave Glasgow over the summer to free up money. Anyone know whose contract is ending but whose fate hasn't been announced yet?

I think there is money available. Kebble, Gibbons and Jones would all be on good wages. Hastings probably decent. Most of the money will be absorbed by pay rises but there is probably over a £1 million in salaries leaving below based on my assumptions (salaries and who else is going). Vernon is a candidate for a pay decrease and Lamont is left out but I assume he will retire. Lyle, Blake and Junior are probably viewed as 7's contracts at this point (sadly).

Big Money
Grant (£400k wasn't it?)

Good Wages (anywhere from £120k onwards I would think)
Strauss
Favaro
Reid
Bennett

Decent Pay (>£50k)
Puafisi
Hart

Rounding Error (<£50k)
Firth
Petersen
Twolangi
Kenatale

[RDW]

I think Grant's rumoured pay was around the £250k mark, which at the time made him the highest paid player in Scotland.

£400k you're getting into the territory of the super clubs - I don't think he would have been given that a few years ago.

[Hazel Sapling]

I think Grant's rumoured pay was around the £250k mark, which at the time made him the highest paid player in Scotland.

£400k you're getting into the territory of the super clubs - I don't think he would have been given that a few years ago.

Maybe it's Ford I am thinking of. Even so I still look and think it is close to a million quid off the budget.

How much extra do Glasgow get for an away quarter final? Does it make up for an away Pro 12 semi final?

[BigGee]

Apparently we get 40% of the gate receipts. Not sure if we get anything extra from the TV budget or not. It will be some reasonable money, but not silly amounts.

[R!skysports]

YES- Got tickets for the Saracens Game

[Eejit]

Likewise, that was a lot less stressful than I envisioned.

[R!skysports]

Yes. I expect in the extra seats up in the gods lol

(i.e. their site map on the site does not even have these seats showing)

[IanBru]

You've got to think that Glasgow's representation at Allianz Park will be pretty huge - The original allocation of 3,750 has already sold out, so Saracens have made another large tranche of tickets available (number not confirmed).

[IanBru]

As the full Bru family will be attending, I had to somehow find eight seats - ended up with two blocks of four, near the front, but in the corner.

[Eejit]

YOu can try this handy tool:
http://www.saracens.com/allianz/stadium/3dviewofstadium

My seats don't seem to be there, but I assume we're in temporary stands.

[Sponsored content]