It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

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Getting noshed off a tramp

Morning Notcherinos

All good in the Hoods?

Morning mate, how are the job negotiations going?

They are not, so far. El Ceo of the entire world has summoned our bosses away last night (Q1 results announcement - c*ck up had to be sorted out before they could do it) - we are literally unsupervised here just my immediate boss (he doesn't have a say in pay negotiations). Hopefully they will be back by the afternoon appointment time but looks like it's next week. In any case. I took stock of your plan B suggestion and came back with a Plan A +++. I will spend the extra time fleshing it out then submitting a proposal. It could mean that I double/triple my wage and reduce my hours to 40 by the end of the year. Have stumbled on a way to save the company about 73% on some of the stuff they buy

Cool, hope it works out for you mate, I am in negotiations all day with a very large software company, so you can really go to town, safe in the knowledge that no jobs will be lost due to the savings we get, it is victimless bellendery...

I also have a plan B for that.

Excellente, whats the negotiation about - services provided or compliance?

Morning supertroopers.
Are you shining like the sun?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIw3BtSPHtI

Service and future contract negotiations for a large agreement.

If they bring up compliance I will not be happy, I don't think they will be happy

https://www.bbc.co.uk/events/evfwhn/live/cgp8q9?ns_mchannel=social&ns_source=twitter&ns_campaign=bbc_live&ns_linkname=5901bda4e4b05a37ea767d7a%26Have%20The%20Simpsons%20predicted%20the%20future%20again%3F%26&ns_fee=0#post_5901bda4e4b05a37ea767d7a

Class.

How did negotiations kick off?

Std stuff mate, they just want to help, we all want to work together for the best deal and everyone is lovely.

Biscuits were OK.

Ah one of those. Big monies changing hands with nary a blink while a backhander that is not a backhander is provided?

Nah, we are that governed by bribery and corruption act mate, not backhanders anywhere.

Morning all

Morning Rick the Brick. Absolute mad house here momentarily but now back to the normal quiet Friday, I know and love. All good in the hood? What's on the agenda today?

Internal audit all day today mate, happy days, though meeting a mate for lunch, which will be nice.

You watching the pugilists on the morrow?

I might do, If I find a suitable river. TBH have been losing the will to watch stuff late because of work so have been going gradually off boxing. I know its fairly early this weekend but I think I might prefer a weekend in a park somewhere rather than watching TV at all. I just need a hammock sturdy enough to bear me. What about yourself any special plans for the extended weekend?

Morning, The Two Amigos.

Friends for board games tonight, playing footgolf, then a BBQ with boxing Saturday, Interleague Pool on Sunday, chill Monday.

Morning, Jules.

Surprise birthday party for a friend of the missus tonight, tennis match Sunday morning.

I had a short story published online this week - very exciting. I'd link to it, but it would break CC anonymity rules.

I don't think so Julius. No one paid the slightest bit of attention. For what its worth - congrats mate.

Gutentag Notcherinos

Well done Jules, and I think we would be fine with the story as longs as we all didn't turn up to the book signing.

We will probably have to crack open the Ouija board to ask Tino to clarify though. Well done indeed.

Morning all, you watch the fight Shah?

Oh yes, jumped in to watch it at last minute and both glad and sad (for Wlad) that I did. Excellent fight, Joshua showing that he's got guts as well as power but still a little too rigid and muscle bound. That said, feck me the punches they were landing were absolutely monstrous.

I'm back from my cruise, it was f*cking tremendous. I visited places I never even dreamed existed like Italy and Athens and the sea. I hope to go on another cruise one day.

Congrats about the story Julius. You may as well send a link as the danger of a good stalking ended with Tino's death.

I remember going on a cruise once. Around Balsall Heath in the late 80s. It was fantastic. Women standing on the streets just asking for it.

Great fight and AJ answered some questions, with more yet to answer, which is what you want really.

Sounds like you had fun galts, see any fish?

Oh FFS - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39628629

Gives culture a bad name.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Oh FFS - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39628629

Gives culture a bad name.

Yeah, I preferred his earlier works although Blue Palominos wasn't too bad.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Oh FFS - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39628629

Gives culture a bad name.

Thought that was the link to your short story at first, must confess I was disappointed.

rick_dagless wrote:

Sounds like you had fun galts, see any fish?

Tiny ones in the harbour and big ones on ice in the market. Wanted to buy the front half of a swordfish for photo purposes but Galtova said no. It's fine for her to buy a pair of earrings about ten minutes later though.

OK - here's the link http://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.co.uk/2017/04/brief-history-of.html

Spoiler - contains my real name.

Notes -
1. It's a 100 hundred word story - it has to be exactly 100 words. Maurice Kyffin was a real person.
2. 'Brandy Alexander' is a drink, because all stories have to be given a drink. It has nothing to do with the story.
3. I've never submitted a story for publication before either in print or online. I've had poems published in small magazines but rarely write stories, let alone submit them. However, a second one has been accepted and will be published soon.

JuliusHMarx wrote:OK - here's the link http://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.co.uk/2017/04/brief-history-of.html

Spoiler - contains my real name.

Notes -
1. It's a 100 hundred word story - it has to be exactly 100 words. Maurice Kyffin was a real person.
2. 'Brandy Alexander' is a drink, because all stories have to be given a drink. It has nothing to do with the story.
3. I've never submitted a story for publication before either in print or online. I've had poems published in small magazines but rarely write stories, let alone submit them. However, a second one has been accepted and will be published soon.

My awe
Is stirred
By Jules's hundred words
Julius! Julius

Was genuinely impressed by that (the story, not my epic poem written in honour of the story).
I once entered a Christmas story in 75 words or less competition but I didn't hear back from the organisers. The postman must've lost my entry form. C*nt.

Well done Jules! Very clever.

Content is blocked here for some reason, Jules but will have a gander at home.

Excellent short piece, Jules.
I like the way you can describe a short moment of angst from writer in 100 words... in 1588!

Just one question. Did Maurice shave that day or did he have a pointy Elizabethan style beard?
He would appear more thoughtful if there was some texture on his chin and was not clean shaven.

Morning campers

Morning Ricko, all good in the woods?

Yeah not bad mate, sun is shining and it is already Wednesday, any movement on the job front?

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah not bad mate, sun is shining and it is already Wednesday, any movement on the job front?

Spoke to the director yesterday - progress on the practicalities is fine (arranging someone else to cover me, vetting them through security, criminal and background checks - those things needed to be done anyway whether or not I get the hours) now waiting for the facilities meeting where they do the costing and try to negotiate costs with my employer before submission. In the meantime I have been offered a job with more pay, better hours but on the other side of London from me so works out more hours travelling and working. Not worth it but Plan B is a go.

Excellent, sounds like it is coming together, sort of.

At least you are in a better bargaining position now.

Today there is a tech roll out in the office so it is going to be noisy and a pain, they have balloons for the sake of F**k

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah not bad mate, sun is shining and it is already Wednesday, any movement on the job front?

Spoke to the director yesterday - progress on the practicalities is fine (arranging someone else to cover me, vetting them through security, criminal and background checks - those things needed to be done anyway whether or not I get the hours) now waiting for the facilities meeting where they do the costing and try to negotiate costs with my employer before submission. In the meantime I have been offered a job with more pay, better hours but on the other side of London from me so works out more hours travelling and working. Not worth it but Plan B is a go.

I live and work on the other side of London. We could do lunch.

rick_dagless wrote:Excellent, sounds like it is coming together, sort of.

At least you are in a better bargaining position now.  

Today there is a tech roll out in the office so it is going to be noisy and a pain, they have balloons for the sake of F**k

What is being rolled out?

Galted wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah not bad mate, sun is shining and it is already Wednesday, any movement on the job front?

Spoke to the director yesterday - progress on the practicalities is fine (arranging someone else to cover me, vetting them through security, criminal and background checks - those things needed to be done anyway whether or not I get the hours) now waiting for the facilities meeting where they do the costing and try to negotiate costs with my employer before submission. In the meantime I have been offered a job with more pay, better hours but on the other side of London from me so works out more hours travelling and working. Not worth it but Plan B is a go.

I live and work on the other side of London. We could do lunch.

I wouldn't actually mind that, It would be good to show my peers how liberal I am by tolerating an infidel during lunchtime but sadly the travel is too far. Plus I want to see if that Italian bird (Known as white p*kis - to my circle of friends) is worth kidnapping.

O365.

They now have matching t-shirts....

Morning, Galts.

Morning Dagless. We have occasionally roll-outs here, on one such occasion some of my colleagues were forced to wear red Here To Help polo shirts.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah not bad mate, sun is shining and it is already Wednesday, any movement on the job front?

Spoke to the director yesterday - progress on the practicalities is fine (arranging someone else to cover me, vetting them through security, criminal and background checks - those things needed to be done anyway whether or not I get the hours) now waiting for the facilities meeting where they do the costing and try to negotiate costs with my employer before submission. In the meantime I have been offered a job with more pay, better hours but on the other side of London from me so works out more hours travelling and working. Not worth it but Plan B is a go.

I live and work on the other side of London. We could do lunch.

I wouldn't actually mind that, It would be good to show my peers how liberal I am by tolerating an infidel during lunchtime but sadly the travel is too far. Plus I want to see if that Italian bird (Known as white p*kis - to my circle of friends) is worth kidnapping.

Ah well, I'll have to make do with our resident Jihadists. It was actually one of them who introduced me to Wrap It Up and their delicious chicken burritos.

Yeah, these are bright orange, I guess to make them stand out so people can ask questions...

The f*ckwit bank where I work would never allow orange as it's not one of their corporate colours.

Maybe you could retort with one of these

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/zing-100-greatest-put-downs-time/

rick_dagless wrote:Yeah, these are bright orange, I guess to make them stand out so people can ask questions...

You should ask them why the f*ck they're promoting tango and slap them all with your nob in contempt.

I see Brexit preliminaries are off to a great start.