Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread 17 - Almost Legal

[Hazel Sapling]

First topic message reminder :



Glasgow Warriors & Edinburgh

The Histories:

Guiness Pro 12
Edinburgh Rugby
Glasgow Warriors

Edinburgh Rugby Highlights 2016/2017
Glasgow Warriors Pro 12 Highlights 2016/2017  

[jimbopip]

I almost laughed at that, RDW, then I remembered.. where did those pioneers of inappropriately be-tartanned clothing, The Bay City Rollers, originate from?

[R!skysports]

I'm not really a fan of tartan added to clothing - to me it either looks twee or chavvy

https://www.lovell-rugby.co.uk/Rugby-Shirts/Macron/Glasgow-Warriors-2017-or-18-Players-Home-Test-S-or-S-Rugby-Shirt

This looks chavvy.

Perfect for Glasgow then!

I'm here all week.

Look Edinburgh higher in the league than Glasgow

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/pro12/table

There only there a week :-)

[R!skysports]

What the heck is the back panel all about

Nice to be inclusive, but really -it is not a concert !!!!

[RDW]

Yeah the back panel really looks guff.

Jimbo - I'm far too young to know what you're talking about! And there's no denying there's plenty tartan going about in Edinburgh as a City but that very much falls in the twee category.

[funnyExiledScot]

That jersey is hideous!

[jimbopip]

On rugby matters, well obliquely,
NIKO CLEARED.

I'd have him back in a heartbeat.

[R!skysports]

That jersey is hideous!

almost as bad as this artists impression of a sunburnt bumble bee

https://www.lovell-rugby.co.uk/Rugby-Shirts/Macron/Edinburgh-2017-or-18-Players-Home-Test-Rugby-Shirt-Black-or-Red

[jimbopip]

The Luvvies' jersey is just so dull. I can almost hear the chatter from the training pitches now,
"Just remember boys...accessorise."

[George Carlin]

Calm down lads. The Glasgow one isn't all that bad. It's basically black.
Surely it was only a matter of time before some tartan showed up.

Much rather that the Edinburgh gay flight attendance on Casual Friday look.

Jim - you are showing your age with the Bay City Rollers reference. Not even I remember them.

[funnyExiledScot]

The Edinburgh kit looks awesome. Teams will fear us.

Anyway Jimbo, don't you have lesson plans to do? Surely you're not going to teach Jane Austin and romantic poetry again this year? You'll have got to the stage in your career where you'll have taught your students mums and dads as well. They'll expect progress.

[funnyExiledScot]

Have good weekends all!

[jimbopip]

Actually FES, I've been offered a contract teaching Functional Skills Maths and English at a FE college in east London...think Henry Wilt teaching Plumbers 3 last lesson on a Friday and making it bearable by fantasising on ways to murder his wife. I don't believe there'll be much Romantic Poetry or Jilted Jane in it.

p.s. for the philistines among you Henry Wilt is the eponymous hero in a Tom Sharpe novel. I'd recommend Riotous Assembly, the novel that got him deported from South Africa. It is very funny. Like watching a Greatest Hits video clip of MrChinhook missing his jumpers, and again, and again and staring at the ball in the middle of the front row and attempting to move to the number 8's feet by using only his Jedi powers, then using his chin, then Turnstile Tim making tackle after tackle after tackle, then GG limping off, then GG limping off, then everyone celebrating wildly after a well deserved victory over Glasgow where the points were scored by...Glasgow rejects. Laugh? I thought my trousers would never dry.
I'm being really Grumpy simply because I told Mrs Pip that I'd take her away for our anniversary nest week. Anywhere you want my darling. So...it's feccing Disneyland Paris.

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

I'm not really a fan of tartan added to clothing - to me it either looks twee or chavvy

https://www.lovell-rugby.co.uk/Rugby-Shirts/Macron/Glasgow-Warriors-2017-or-18-Players-Home-Test-S-or-S-Rugby-Shirt

This looks chavvy.

Perfect for Glasgow then!

I'm here all week.

Eh ? Chavvy ? WTF ? The Scots translation for this is NEDDY - from a NED.

Any way weird that we all seem to have experience of a female friend being assaulted in the disgusting way alleged in the Matawalu case. Mine involved my then No 3 g/f , she was working her way up to No 2 at the time but defo a top 3. We were in a a boozer in the WE when g/f No 3 was groped by a ned. As Jimbo and ASBO (who he ?) know some of my acquaintances are more deranged than I and one, Big J who was once voted the WE of Glasgow's angriest bouncer, lifted ned off his feet by the throat and baws and threw him out the door. Anyhoo g/f No 3 is now Mrs Schiz and is rather cross with me just now as I have just ordered a new Warriors shirt at £89. I mean I just booked passage to Galway for the season opener so had to be properly rigged up.

Regards to all

[RDW]

I'm not really a fan of tartan added to clothing - to me it either looks twee or chavvy

https://www.lovell-rugby.co.uk/Rugby-Shirts/Macron/Glasgow-Warriors-2017-or-18-Players-Home-Test-S-or-S-Rugby-Shirt

This looks chavvy.

Perfect for Glasgow then!

I'm here all week.

Eh ?   Chavvy ?   WTF ?    The Scots translation for this is NEDDY - from a NED.

Any way weird that we all seem to have experience of a female friend being assaulted in the disgusting way alleged in the Matawalu case.   Mine involved my then No 3 g/f , she was working her way up to No 2 at the time but defo a top 3.     We were in a a boozer in the WE when g/f No 3 was groped by a ned.   As Jimbo and ASBO (who he ?) know some of my acquaintances are more deranged than I and one, Big J who was once voted the WE of Glasgow's angriest bouncer, lifted ned off his feet by the throat and baws and threw him out the door.         Anyhoo g/f No 3 is now Mrs Schiz and is rather cross with me just now as I have just ordered a new Warriors shirt at £89.    I mean I just booked passage to Galway for the season opener so had to be properly rigged up.

Regards to all

It all comes down to interpretation of what the various words mean. In my mind:

Jakey - typically an older homeless man who likes drinking special brew on at 8am (think Pete the Jakey from Still Game)

Chav - has a bit more money so they can afford the 'classiest' tracksuits, burbery caps and scarfs etc (think Vikky Pollard)

Ned - the kind of person that will stab you in the neck because you looked in his general direction while walking past him. (your average Rangers/Celtic fan)

[George Carlin]

Schiz!

Where have you been hiding big feller?

[BigGee]

So Niko is cleared.

While I am pleased for him and the fact that he may continue his rugby career now, it does make you wonder about the legal process in cases such as these.

Without making any suggestions that the verdict was wrong, it does make you realise that the odds are massively stacked against the accuser in cases like this and it is no wonder that so few women would be willing to bring such a charge forward. The standard of proof required for a conviction is massive. I am sure if I was on a jury presented with no overwhelming evidence, then I would be very reluctant to convict as well.

Hard to know what the answer is really, but as the father of two twenty something daughters, it is something that I do worry about. Despite us allegedly living in more enlightened times, this sort of thing still goes on far to regularly and men get away with it.

In case anyone thinks this is a subliminal message about my feelings about the result of the trial, it is not. Niko has been proven innocent and if he was to come back to Glasgow I would accept that without any question and hope he brought some of the old magic back with him.

That is a different question though and my feelings about that are that we have good SHs now and that I want George Horne to get the game time he needs to develop. Niko has had his time at Glasgow and hopefully will go on and star at another team, though preferably not in the Pro 14. He is to good a player to just be a squad player at Glasgow.

[Welly]

Jake Kerr come off the bench for Tigers today in the pre-season game V Ospreys.

any info on him?

Just scored a try

[BigGee]

Jake Kerr come off the bench for Tigers today in the pre-season game V Ospreys.

any info on him?

Just scored a try

He was considered a very good prospect as he came through the junior ranks at Edinburgh but suffered, as do many young Scottish players from a lack of meaningful game time, with international players ahead of him in the queue at Edinburgh. His case was not helped either by a bad knee injury and consequently he was let go.

Good to see him getting another chance with Leicester, does he have a contract with the club? You seem to be picking up a few Scottish players, I see Kyle Traynor has some kind of part time contract with you, though I don't imagine he will be anything other than a squad player. I also saw Alex Glashan playing sevens for you, I imagine he is at Loughborough now. He was considered quite a prospect in his day as well but never really progressed either.

Jake Kerr has some sporting pedigree. You may have just seen his brother Josh Kerr running in the 1500m at the world athletics champs in London and he is only 19 years old. He is at college in the states and is the reigning collegiate champion at the distance, which is no mean achievement, the American collegiate system is the powerhouse that produces all the great American athletes.

Nothing to do with rugby I know, but you would imagine that Jack has a pretty good engine!

[Welly]

I think it might be down to the loughborough connection, our academy is basically linked to the students team now our coaches are working with the students and our academy players can play in the students team.

Wouldn't be surprised to see more players like that go to loughborough because of it.

[mikey_dragon]

Is there a case for a third Scottish team, as there seems to be a lot more Scottish players playing outside of Scotland than I thought? Might be good to bring them home and send a few Glasgow reserves there to build up the team. Scotland will need an additional pro team to continue moving forward in my opinion.

[BigGee]

Increasingly, it is not the number of decent Scottish players that prevents a third Scottish Pro team, we are starting to produce more of them, but the finances.

It costs £5 plus pa to run a Pro team effectively and that kind of spare cash just does not exist in Scottish rugby. That is not going to change any time soon, so the current strategy of concentrating on two well funded teams is the right one, even if it means we have to export a few players, including some good ones.

[mikey_dragon]

Yeah I imagined that would be the case, guess you'll need to find a Scottish billionaire who's willing to use a lot of his money to create a new team.

[BigGee]

Yeah I imagined that would be the case, guess you'll need to find a Scottish billionaire who's willing to use a lot of his money to create a new team.

Yes that would be nice, even if unlikely!

[Eejit]

A few of you Harvey Nics regulars must have some dosh lying around. Maybe we should have a whip-round.

Obviously as a resident of London I'm unable to contribute, but I'm with you in spirit.

[George Carlin]

Yeah I imagined that would be the case, guess you'll need to find a Scottish billionaire who's willing to use a lot of his money to create a new team.

That reminds me - FES, you've been very quiet lately.

[jimbopip]

Ah, GC you have cracked Paul Simon's code

" a loose affiliation of millionaires and billionaires
the boy in the (champagne) bubble
and the baby with the baboon heart"

Yes that's FES and RDW, the new bankrollers for the third Pro-team.

On a, slightly, more sensible note; in the same way that many critics believe that Ernest Hemmingway's novels were so packed with overtly manly and testosterone dripping muscular sentences they just had to be written by a grey haired spinster living out her retirement in Eastbourne so the sudden reappearance of both FES and Schiz has led me to the conclusion that my long harboured suspicion must be true. They are one and the same person.
I just know that somewhere in the inner Hebrides there is a retreat for vegan Buddhists who have turned their backs on the world of conflict and disharmony and chosen a life of contemplative prayer. Occasionally, Sister Glenda has to give vent to her inner frustrations and the Yin and Yang of her earthly anger. She can often be seen in the half lotus chanting her mantra, "Yon Schiz is a bad Yin, Yon Schiz is a bad Yin. "
One and the same I tell you, one and the same.

[RDW]

Glasgow have a 'big announcement' coming up this morning apparently.

They tweeted it with a picture of Jonny Gray, but it surely can't be that obvious. He was wearing the new 'Tartan Plus of Buchanan Street' manufactured new kit so it is maybe about a new main sponsor.

[George Carlin]

Glasgow have a 'big announcement' coming up this morning apparently.

They tweeted it with a picture of Jonny Gray, but it surely can't be that obvious. He was wearing the new 'Tartan Plus of Buchanan Street' manufactured new kit so it is maybe about a new main sponsor.

Yes:
http://www.glasgowwarriors.org/news/17/08/14/sp-energy-networks-power-warriors

So that's a minging green logo on the front of the shirt in a shotgun marriage with aqua blue tartan.

Add Rob Harley's fluorescent hair and Anna Wintour would have a stroke.

[tigertattie]

Glasgow have a 'big announcement' coming up this morning apparently.

They tweeted it with a picture of Jonny Gray, but it surely can't be that obvious. He was wearing the new 'Tartan Plus of Buchanan Street' manufactured new kit so it is maybe about a new main sponsor.

will be sponsor related

Betting odds for new sponsors are

Buckfast 3 to 1
Greggs 4 to 1
Giro 4 to 1
The Barras Market 5 to 1
Glasgow City Council 10 to 1
Allianz 150 to 1
Pringle 1.5m to 1

[RDW]

Turns out it is SP Energy networks

[BigGee]

Turns out it is SP Energy networks

As long as they are putting a slice of their exorbitant profits into the Warriors pot that is fine by me. It's a blue chip company and a pretty decent sponsor at the end of the day, so we should not worry to much about the colour scheme. At least the one that I am buying won't have the logo on the front, not for this year at least.

[RDW]

In other news Dave Rennie has arrived too.

Poor bloke looks freezing already - this is our summer!

[tigertattie]

that's hilarious!

Great big thick winter coat on it looks nice and sunny. God help him in January when it's actually cold!

"Taps aff Dave?"

"no thanks"

[George Carlin]

that's hilarious!

Great big thick winter coat on it looks nice and sunny. God help him in January when it's actually cold!

"Taps aff Dave?"

"no thanks"

Looks like a completely airbrushed picture, like he's actually back in Hamilton praying that it will get warmer back in Glasgow.

[George Carlin]

Anyone know will happen to Lewis Carmichael now that the Western Force have gone down the crapper?

[RDW]

He was only ever there short term loan to the end of the season - he's back at Edinburgh now (poor lad)

[tigertattie]

What odds will you give me on Glasgow playing Edinburgh in one of the semi finals this season?

[RDW]

I think there's higher chance of Jorah Mormont escaping the freindzone with Daenerys than that happening!

(keeping up the Tuesday morning GoT theme on here - last episode )

[George Carlin]

Should I start watching Game of Thrones then? Be honest.

Or is it like those poor b@stards who persevered with 'Lost' all the way through and then realised that they could be playing high end jazz piano by now if they had just invested the time better elsewhere?

[RDW]

I'd say GoT is the inverse of Lost - it gets more interesting and exciting each series. In fact it got really interesting when the TV overtook the books last season.

I think this is one of the rare examples of the TV show being better than the books - large parts of the books are pretty dull.

So it would be a bit of a slog to catch up with everything and work your way through each episode but it would be worth it for series 5 onwards IMO.

[jimbopip]

I think I will, respectfully, disagree with RDW there.

George Martin is that rare creature in today's "instant celebrity-zero talent" culture; he actually has crafted his talent over decades. He has served a long apprenticeship working on TV shows such as The Twilight Zone (and from the 60's a childhood favourite of mine "The Time Tunnel") as well as writing short stories and novels.
Perhaps the true measure of what he has achieved is that people who usually have no time at all for the Fantasy genre (all that dragons and dwarves Poopie!!!) love GoT. He is very like Stephen King in the sense that his storytelling is so captivating that you accept things you normally reject out of hand. However, and this is purely my own response, where S King goes, "normal, normal, mundane, normal oh look there's a monster! and by the way let's forget all about character or emotional consistency because LOOK A MONSTER" GoT is full of credible characters whose motivation is "real" and psychologically convincing. Personally I think the books are better than the TV, and better than Tolkien, and a good place to start. I wouldn't dive in with series 5: I stumbled on episode one-series one recently and there is a scene with six of the main characters where their destinies are spelt out except you only know this in retrospect, when you watch it the first time it's just an interesting scene.
I seem to be rambling here GC; don't think of it as Dungeons and Dragons with added nudity...think Sopranos with dragons and witches.

This might save you the trouble of investing time and being disappointed.. You know a lot of writers talk about the book just coming to them? Think John Milton who argued that he hadn't written Paradise Lost, it was dictated to him by The Holy Ghost. Or Paul McCartney who wakened up humming the melody to Yesterday and refused to record it because he hadn't written it. George Martin said he had the idea of a short story but as he wrote it it began to spread in terms of geographical setting. So to keep a track he thought he'd sketch a quick map,
"When I drew a map I knew I was lost."
If you get that you'll love the books.

[RDW]

I'm not surprised an English teacher disagrees with me when I say a TV show is better than the books! It is worth reiterating that I said this is a rare example where I believe this to be the case, and it's not like I'm not a book reader - I rarely go a few days without reading a book.

I am maybe being a bit harsh as I did enjoy a lot of the books, but some of it definitely felt like a slog - even die hard GoT fans that I know freely admit that A Feast For Crows was tough to get through and at times I was only reading it because I had to, not because I was enjoying it! I like to describe the books as a lot happening very slowly, and the pace of FFC was so slow and dull at times that I was close to giving up.

The last two series of GoT have definitely been given the Hollywood treatment but I think they have managed to stay true to the world too and I have enjoyed them far more than any of the other series (even if there is much less nudity! )

Where I do definitely disagree is claiming the GoT books are better than LOTR - I have read them 6 times now! All personal preference I suppose

[jimbopip]

RDW, I hope that you don't feel I was being all teacherly. Every opinion is equally valid. I was just giving GC a slightly different one so he could weigh them up, consider them carefully, take the full measure nad then agree with me.

I may be deviant in my tastes but I think The Hobbit is much better than LOTR. each to their own, as they say.

Finally, it is wonderful that you consider you rarely go a few days without reading a book. However, as I often find myself saying to any Luvvies on this Forum, the Kath Kidstone mail order catalogue is not great literature.

[tigertattie]

Firstly, I'll need to hold my hand up and confess to being a non book reader. I can read, but if I do it's to research something and I've not read a story/tale/yarn since I left school

I'll read things like "the idiots guide to rugby" or "A brief history of time" but I can't do "Ivanhoe" or "Harry Potter"

It comes down to how people learn, I need visuals to keep me concentrating which is why I love TV and movies. GoT has got me well and truely hooked as A) there are sometimes boobies B) there are heads chopped off and Dragons cooking people c) It's actually a remamrkably well acted show

In the books, lines and lines of text are used to portray Cercie's hatred towards wee Tyrion and I'd find myself drifting off, in the TV show, Lana Headey just pulls a face and you know she really, really doesn't like her wee brother!

The reason that GoT has gotten so successful is that it caters to a very wide audience. Put simply, folk who just like watching heads being parted from torsos like to watch it. People who like a story line develop like to watch it. People who like to discover what drives a characters actions like to watch it. You can sit an just stare at the special effects or you can really get involved with plots and character development.

For our friend in the middle east, I'd definitely recon mend you start watching it but be careful as I'm pretty sure the region you are in have banned the program!

[RDW]

I'm certainly not reading War and Peace every night but I certainly ain't just reading Our Wullie.

I'm a huge Christopher Brookmyre fan - just finished his latest book and it inspired me to re-read one of his earlier mini-series of books (Scared Art of Stealing etc)

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Try reading Dead Man's Blues by Ray Celestin. Great tec story about the blues /jazz in 1920s Chicago. Kind of histiography of Louis Armstrong with Al Capone thrown in.

[tigertattie]

Try reading Dead Man's Blues by Ray Celestin.  Great tec story about the blues /jazz in 1920s Chicago. Kind of histiography of Louis Armstrong with Al Capone thrown in.  

good grief man, thats surely a bit high brow for a warriors fan! Surely the Viz is more appropriate for you guys?

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Fair point. Wonder what a Luvvie fan might have as a go to read ? Hello most likely or Jackie

[BigGee]

I'm certainly not reading War and Peace every night but I certainly ain't just reading Our Wullie.

As an ex-patriot child, getting a copy of the Our Wullie or The Broons album was a staple part of our childhood Christmas present fare. My parents decided to carry on the tradition by giving the albums to my kids as they were growing up as well, though it is probably fair to say that they did not quite get it!

I however was still quite partial to it and would still enjoy a read when no-one was looking. It is allegedly still pretty popular amongst adults of our generation who were brought up on it and there are lots of different levels to it which can provoke some interesting debate.

There is apparently a strong school of thought that Hen Broon is actually gay for instance. He has never been seen with a girl!

I am not sure I would quite go that far, certainly a bit repressed though and maybe slightly more in touch with his feminine side than Joe.

[RDW]

We used to get The Broons and Oor Wullie at Christmas time from older relatives every Christmas - wasn't that long ago that it stopped!

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