Glasgow and Edinburgh ongoing banter thread 24 - Covid funtimes

[RDW]

First topic message reminder :

Previous gibberish

https://www.606v2.com/t69038p1050-glasgow-and-edinburgh-banter-thread-no-23-new-season-new-thread

Fixtures

Glasgow - none

Edinburgh - none

Scotland - none

[bsando]

Russell has started the Top 14 in some searing form. A couple of tries and several assists so far from three matches. They pumped Montpellier tonight, I’ll be looking forward to seeing the highlights tomorrow.

[bsando]

DVDM and Graham on the Edinburgh podcast was a fun listen. Apparently DVDM uses Julian Savea for inspiration as a winger. Checked their stats and they're exactly the same height and weight. Exciting times ahead!

[123456789.]

Apologies to all who think Russell will be playing for Scotland anytime soon. I've been having a few dreams about the Scotland team lately and he wasn't in it. Admittedly I was in the squad, as a result of some mix-up. When I caught the ball I stayed completely still and was unable to do anything.

Generally speaking I have found the plethora of sports interviews through lockdown incredibly tedious. Obviously journalists were running low on news when the sport was off so they would speak to anyone about anything. The ones that have emanated from Scottish rugby have been pretty concerning and brutally honest. Adam Ashe and Matt Smith have both ended up out of rugby because their playing time wasn't managed. Huw Jones was almost lost from the Scottish game. We are not so stocked with players that we can afford to be so careless.

[tigertattie]

Following numbers dream that he was a Scotland player, for a giggle, pick a Scotland squad made up of fellow posters.

Pick a poster and reason why (Can be any poster)

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

9.
10.
11.
12. FES - Because every side needs a lawyer/doctor for the commentators to talk about - FES would make for a 2nd playmaker in the backline using his intellect to play the game rather than bashing it up the middle,
13.
14.
15.

[king_carlos]

10.RDW - Calm, collected, organised, brings out the best in those around him but more than capable of moments of individual creative marvel

[RDW]

10.RDW - Calm, collected, organised, brings out the best in those around him but more than capable of moments of individual creative marvel

You've always been my favourite!

[BigGee]

9. Mikey D - knows how to read a game and always in the ear of the ref, perfect SH!

[RDW]

4 - Biggee (C). Holds the team together and respected by all. Can dish out a punishment if needs be, but rarely raises his voice (that's when you know you're really in trouble)

5 - tigertattie. Big daft laddy who takes a lot of stick from everyone but loves being part of the fun. Has been 6ft 4 since he was 13.

7 - 21st Schizoid - an absolute nutter, but you're very glad he's on your team and not the opposition!

15 - GC. Goes AWOL for long periods of the game but occasionally pops up with a moment of genius.

Coach - Jimbo. Loves a motivational speech but it goes over the heads of the forwards as most of the words have more than two syllables. Has given up on video reviews as he can't work the technology.

[tigertattie]

Thats like a real rugby team you've picked up there flounder!

How did you know I was 6ft 4? I'm not that daft though!

However, I sure as hell will switch off when coach Jimbo starts telling us at half time about the tales of Genghis Khan roaming over the countryside and how philosophers have regaled his tale as a parallel to great rugby performances of battle and strife

[RDW]

6 - EWT Spoons. Not that fussed about the rugby, loves the post-game sesh.

[king_carlos]

8.GeordieFalcon - Gym rat, built like a house, loves a scrap, never admits if he's injured. Doesn't drink often but when you convince him to have a tipple everyone's out for 12 hours, a couple of colts who recently turned 18 and started drinking wake up in a different city.

1.Rugby Fan - Played back row growing up and still refers to himself as a flanker despite having played in the front row for 5 years. Loves taking a cheeky step back on 'engage' to get the opposition tighthead pinged for driving early.

[jimbopip]

Flounder, I will only accept your offer of Coach if it is coaching in the way that captaining the Thirds (or bottom side in any club) is captaincy: you always have your boots because there's always someone who forgets to turn up and you'll end up playing at least thirteen positions over the season. In my last season I turned out for the seconds and played 7, 10, 13 and 11 in one, yes Tattie more than zero and less than two, one match.

I think Bru should be coach. He could stand on the touchline and shout helpful tactical advice like, "I'd love to be out there lads but my girlfriend says I need to keep my classical good looks. Did I mention I have a girlfriend?"

I've stood beside Gee: he's built like the Selkirk Pixie's undernourished wee brother. No second row for him. He's on the wing.

[tigertattie]

I played a game for the 2s where I started at 5 but was moved to 12 in in the second half. Scored a hat trick. Found back play was very easy and far less lung bursting than in the pack.

After the game I was found gelling my hair and wanting to go to superdrug for some fake tan.

[jimbopip]

I played a game for the 2s where I started at 5 but was moved to 12 in in the second half. Scored a hat trick. Found back play was very easy and far less lung bursting than in the pack.

After the game I was found gelling my hair and wanting to go to superdrug for some fake tan.

That's the dodgiest metaphor to slink onto these boards in a long time

Personally, I found playing in the pack much easier in many ways; your immediate choices are more limited so it's easier to make the correct decision, most times your opponent gets the ball a yard or two in front of you and then runs straight at you so tackling is, in one sense, easier, if you miss a tackle there's usually someone on your shoulder to cover for you and finally as long as you turn up the inner Batman a couple of times a match you're alright with the fatboys. Also as an ex-winger those moments when you'd get the ball in broken play and accelerate into open space where always a joy.

On the wing your oppo gets the ball 10 yards away from you and gets up to pace, then has space either side of you to attack and if you miss him it's a try and you're the unlucky recipient of "helpful advice" from your forwards. Or, my least favourite, defending your line when their 13-14 have a two on one: whichever player you choose to go for is always the wrong one and you get lots more helpful advice.

[jimbopip]

Catering Manager

Mrs Pip....she just served me some home made tattie scones utterly delicious and real rugby nourishment.

[George Carlin]

4 - Biggee (C). Holds the team together and respected by all. Can dish out a punishment if needs be, but rarely raises his voice (that's when you know you're really in trouble)

5 - tigertattie. Big daft laddy who takes a lot of stick from everyone but loves being part of the fun. Has been 6ft 4 since he was 13.

7 - 21st Schizoid - an absolute nutter, but you're very glad he's on your team and not the opposition!

15 - GC. Goes AWOL for long periods of the game but occasionally pops up with a moment of genius.

Coach - Jimbo. Loves a motivational speech but it goes over the heads of the forwards as most of the words have more than two syllables. Has given up on video reviews as he can't work the technology.

Fair.

I would have thought RDW at 15 though. A blunt instrument who is fundamentally confused about his Aussie/Scottish heritage and is often mocked mercilessly.

The Brendan Laney of the boards, if you will.

[funnyExiledScot]

Following numbers dream that he was a Scotland player, for a giggle, pick a Scotland squad made up of fellow posters.

Pick a poster and reason why (Can be any poster)

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

9.
10.
11.
12. FES - Because every side needs a lawyer/doctor for the commentators to talk about - FES would make for a 2nd playmaker in the backline using his intellect to play the game rather than bashing it up the middle,
13.
14.
15.

Intellect!! Cheque's in the post Tattie. I played lock at school, but was too heavy to lift so me and the other lock just chucked a skinny flanker in the air!

When I actually played rugby my coach summed me up perfectly: what you lack in courage you make up for in size....

Still, my school rugby career topped that of my time in cricket, where I batted at 11 and didn't bowl! That reference is probably lost on most of you...

[funnyExiledScot]

Any one here enter the Lions ballot for next year? I had a few too many the other night and applied for a tickets to all the tests....

[funnyExiledScot]

4 - Biggee (C). Holds the team together and respected by all. Can dish out a punishment if needs be, but rarely raises his voice (that's when you know you're really in trouble)

5 - tigertattie. Big daft laddy who takes a lot of stick from everyone but loves being part of the fun. Has been 6ft 4 since he was 13.

7 - 21st Schizoid - an absolute nutter, but you're very glad he's on your team and not the opposition!

15 - GC. Goes AWOL for long periods of the game but occasionally pops up with a moment of genius.

Coach - Jimbo. Loves a motivational speech but it goes over the heads of the forwards as most of the words have more than two syllables. Has given up on video reviews as he can't work the technology.

I'd question Schiz at 7. Surely a yellow card waiting to happen??

Problem with Jimbo at coach is he'd inexplicably favour lesser players with a Glasgow leaning and, as you say, start spouting random quotes that he's literally just taken from the Internet from his deep knowledge of literature.

[RDW]

Some top nonsense to wake up to this morning.

Tattie - you're talking mince to say forwards is tougher on the lungs at amateur level. Forwards just have a cuddle every so often, back actually have to run.

Jimbo - having played a lot in the back 3 I had plenty 'advice' from forwards. Nothing like playing fullback and facing a 3 on 1 on your own only for a prop (who stayed at halfway for the conversion because he couldn't be arsed running back to the posts) asking why you didn't stop them.

FES - God luck with the ticket ballot, but I'd be amazed if the tour goes ahead as planned at that date unless there's a vaccine in play by then.

GC - Laney was a kiwi!

[funnyExiledScot]

Umm, two points of information RDW:

1. Lions will happen. Economics trumps lives. That's basically a Stockbridge moto.

2. Laney was a Scot. After clocking 45 seconds for the 100 metre sprint the Kiwis disowned him.

[tigertattie]

Some top nonsense to wake up to this morning.

Tattie - you're talking mince to say forwards is tougher on the lungs at amateur level. Forwards just have a cuddle every so often, back actually have to run.

Jimbo - having played a lot in the back 3 I had plenty 'advice' from forwards. Nothing like playing fullback and facing a 3 on 1 on your own only for a prop (who stayed at halfway for the conversion because he couldn't be arsed running back to the posts) asking why you didn't stop them.

FES - God luck with the ticket ballot, but I'd be amazed if the tour goes ahead as planned at that date unless there's a vaccine in play by then.

GC - Laney was a kiwi!

Lies. Forwards have to run from Ruck to ruck the whole game. The backs just stand there and run when the ball comes out of the forwards (who still have to run to the next breakdown when you pretty boys get tackled)

Plus you get breaks when we’re off fighting for superiority in scrums and line outs.

Ok so my experience was a half vs a team that couldn’t keep the ball so I was attacking the whole time, but still, it was utterly pish easy. Even went on mazy run from the 10m to the try line for one score. Stepped one centre, then the other, then slid passed the fullback. It’s amazingly easy to skip passed backs as a forward, they plant their feet and wait for you to dip the shoulder to go through them. They are most perplexed when they open their eyes and see you’ve changed direction slightly and avoided the contact.

Backs. Closing their eyes and praying when tackling forwards since 1872

[RDW]

Some top nonsense to wake up to this morning.

Tattie - you're talking mince to say forwards is tougher on the lungs at amateur level. Forwards just have a cuddle every so often, back actually have to run.

Jimbo - having played a lot in the back 3 I had plenty 'advice' from forwards. Nothing like playing fullback and facing a 3 on 1 on your own only for a prop (who stayed at halfway for the conversion because he couldn't be arsed running back to the posts) asking why you didn't stop them.

FES - God luck with the ticket ballot, but I'd be amazed if the tour goes ahead as planned at that date unless there's a vaccine in play by then.

GC - Laney was a kiwi!

Lies. Forwards have to run from Ruck to ruck the whole game. The backs just stand there and run when the ball comes out of the forwards (who still have to run to the next breakdown when you pretty boys get tackled)

Plus you get breaks when we’re off fighting for superiority in scrums and line outs.  

Ok so my experience was a half vs a team that couldn’t keep the ball so I was attacking the whole time, but still, it was utterly pish easy. Even went on mazy run from the 10m to the try line for one score. Stepped one centre, then the other, then slid passed the fullback. It’s amazingly easy to skip passed backs as a forward, they plant their feet and wait for you to dip the shoulder to go through them. They are most perplexed when they open their eyes and see you’ve changed direction slightly and avoided the contact.

Backs. Closing their eyes and praying when tackling forwards since 1872

And in the latest list of "things that didn't happen"....

[jimbopip]

Intellect!! Cheque's in the post Tattie. I played lock at school, but was too heavy to lift so me and the other lock just chucked a skinny flanker in the air!

When I actually played rugby my coach summed me up perfectly: what you lack in courage you make up for in size....

Still, my school rugby career topped that of my time in cricket, where I batted at 11 and didn't bowl! That reference is probably lost on most of you...

"What do they know of cricket who only cricket know?" as C L R James once asked.

[jimbopip]

I'd question Schiz at 7. Surely a yellow card waiting to happen?? Yellow card?? The Schizoid one never believed in foreplay: straight to the red stuff boys.

Problem with Jimbo at coach is he'd inexplicably favour lesser players with a Glasgow leaning and, as you say, start spouting random quotes that he's literally just taken from the Internet from his deep knowledge of literature.

Or as my favourite scene from Cheers has it;

SAM: Say Coach, you must have had a nickname when you were a player.

COACH: Yeah, yeah I did. The fellas used to call me Red.

DIANE: Was that because of your flowing red locks?

Coach: No, because I read a book once.

[BigGee]

I used to love watching Cheers, a show definitely worth staying in for.

Not many you can say that about today unfortunately

[jimbopip]

Any one here enter the Lions ballot for next year? I had a few too many the other night and applied for a tickets to all the tests....

Bru and The Hagia Sophia are intending to have their honeymoon on the tour. That's the honeymoon after the wedding which was postponed in July, rescheduled for January, to take place in the north-east of Engerlund where the latest semi-lockdown restrictions are to be announced today.

I'm sure they'll be drinking pinot noir on the high veldt with you next year.

[funnyExiledScot]

I used to love watching Cheers, a show definitely worth staying in for.

Not many you can say that about today unfortunately

This is true. Cheers and Frasier (in particular) were a golden period of TV.

That said, I'm ruddy loving Succession at the moment.

[jimbopip]

Brian Cox is superb in Succession .
I sometimes think I was in some strange parallel universe when I saw him and Ian McKellan in King Lear on the South Bank. Strange days we're living in.

[RDW]

https://www.edinburghrugby.org/the-clubhouse/edinburgh-rugby-statement

Covid cases in the Edinburgh academy but looks like the senior squad is unaffected. Hints of a social event leading to the cases...

[BigGee]

https://www.edinburghrugby.org/the-clubhouse/edinburgh-rugby-statement

Covid cases in the Edinburgh academy but looks like the senior squad is unaffected. Hints of a social event leading to the cases...

Sounds like someone might be in trouble!

[BigGee]

Hoggy doing some media today and is making it clear that the move away from Glasgow was necessary to resurect his career.

He has done a long interview with a new website The XV, with Jamie Lyall. It is behind a paywall, so can't see it all, but from the snippets they have published, it seems he is another who became disenchanted with DR reign at Glasgow.

It is certainly seeming less and less like he was the messiah!

[RDW]

'Under Dave Rennie, sometimes I was being told to square up and distribute and the next week I was being told to bounce and take somebody on. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing half the time.'

[RDW]

I've signed up and read the full article. Hogg does seem incredibly mature know and comfortable in who he is as a player and person. I think we're going to see a big few years from him.

[RDW]

I'll be able to watch this one - 9:30pm kick off Sydney time!

Edinburgh have named a reshuffled starting XV for tomorrow afternoon’s Challenge Cup Quarter-Final against Bordeaux Bègles at Stade Chaban Delmas (Saturday 19 September, kick-off 12.30pm BST/ 1.30pm local time) – live on BT Sport.

Head Coach Richard Cockerill makes seven changes altogether – four to the backline and three in the forward pack - as the capital side prepare to face the French Top 14 club for the third time this season.

In the backs, Damien Hoyland, James Johnstone and Charlie Shiel replace the injured Duhan van der Merwe, Mark Bennett and Nic Groom, while centre George Taylor gets the nod in midfield.

In the forwards, front-row duo Pierre Schoeman and Simon Berghan form a new prop pairing as Scotland flanker Jamie Ritchie is handed his first start since the capital side returned to competitive action last month.


Ahead of the European Quarter-Final, Head Coach Richard Cockerill, said:

"Bordeaux are a very good team, we have played them twice already this season. If the Top 14 season hadn't been cancelled, they probably would have been champions of France because they were the best team by far. We have an opportunity to play a very good side, put our best foot forward and keep improving.

“We are good enough to compete with them and beat them if we get it right. We have got to make sure we keep them out of our half as they are a big powerful side.

“But we know if we do what we do well, we execute and we are accurate, then we are more than good enough to compete and stay in the game. We’re going there to try and get a result, it's as simple as that."

Blair Kinghorn – whose eight scores make him the club’s leading Challenge Cup try-scorer – continues at fullback as wingers Darcy Graham and Hoyland are named on opposite flanks.

An all-new centre pairing sees Taylor and Johnstone selected in midfield, while scrum-half Shiel and stand-off Jaco van der Walt form a new look half-back combination.

Captain Stuart McInally is once again named at hooker and packs down alongside props Schoeman and Berghan. Club centurions and locks Grant Gilchrist and Ben Toolis continue in the second-row.

The inclusion of Ritchie is the only alteration to an otherwise unchanged back-row as Hamish Watson and Viliame Mata complete the pack.



Edinburgh Rugby team to face Bordeaux Bègles at Stade Chaban Delmas
Saturday 19 September, kick-off 12.30pm BST/1.30pm local time – live on BT Sport



15. Blair Kinghorn (90)



14. Darcy Graham (32)

13. James Johnstone (50)

12. George Taylor (22)

11. Damien Hoyland (74)



10. Jaco van der Walt (57)

9. Charlie Shiel (19)



1. Pierre Schoeman (43)

2. Stuart McInally (145) CAPTAIN

3. Simon Berghan (81)

4. Ben Toolis (120)

5. Grant Gilchrist (150)

6. Jamie Ritchie (69)

7. Hamish Watson (110)

8. Viliame Mata (74)



Replacements: 16. Mike Willemse (21) 17. Rory Sutherland (84) 18. Murray McCallum (55) 19. Andrew Davidson (2) 20. Magnus Bradbury (77) 21. Nick Haining (13) 22. Dan Nutton (1) 23. Chris Dean (91)

Unavailable due to injury: Duhan van der Merwe, Mark Bennett, Nic Groom, Henry Pyrgos, Lewis Carmichael, Fraser McKenzie, WP Nel, Roan Frostwick

[Tramptastic]

I've signed up and read the full article. Hogg does seem incredibly mature know and comfortable in who he is as a player and person. I think we're going to see a big few years from him.

He did an interview the other day on James Haskells podcast, the good, the bad and the rugby(??)

Came across as much more mature, very likeable and quite frank about how close he was to messing up his career during his fracas with gregor townsend

Scary to hear that kind of thing about Rennie, if the likes of Hogg isn't allowed to play it as he sees it then how is anyone meant to know whats going on???

[Tramptastic]

Also a wee list of migratory scots playing this weekend to keep an eye on:

Sarries: Maitland, Taylor, CHH & Swinson

Scarlets: Blade Thomson

Exeter (TBC): Potentially Hogg, Skinner, SHC, Gray

Northampton (TBC): Hutchinson

Leicester: Scott

Racing 92 (TBC): Russell

On a side note, there is another Skinner who plays for Exeter who is a young flyhalf, does anyone here know if he is a sibling of Sam Skinner and therefore qualified for scotland??

[funnyExiledScot]

We'll miss Duhan obviously, but Hoyland can shift so not a bad replacement at all. Pleased to see Taylor getting a shot at 12, and fingers crossed nothing happens to VDW.

[tigertattie]

I've signed up and read the full article. Hogg does seem incredibly mature know and comfortable in who he is as a player and person. I think we're going to see a big few years from him.

He really has wound his neck in eh! Everyone saying he wasnt Scotland captain material. It really seems to have made him. He's now using the top 2 inches to kick on and not jsut the bottom inches that let him run really fast!

[Hazel Sapling]

Tramptastic, it is Harvey Skinner who is, unfortunately, no relation.

Dave Rennie seems to have a had a bit of a reign of terror from the sounds of it. Hopefully Wilson has taken lessons from Toonie rather than Rennie!

[123456789.]

Hogg's word for the podcast were in the Times:

“I played ten games for Scotland and about six for Glasgow two years consecutively. I was probably making twice as many mistakes because I was trying too hard. I got to the stage where I was getting a lot of stick off the pitch and I wasn’t enjoying it. I didn’t feel comfy in my surroundings at Glasgow. If I was [had been] 31 or 32, I’d have quite happily walked away.

“Gill [his wife] and I talked for a long time about what we were going to do in terms of the next stage. I said if I was to stay at Glasgow, it would be one last contract and I’d be done. I had got to the stage where I’d had enough. The time was right to move on and try again. I’m not scared to say I’m obsessed with playing rugby. I’m obsessed with everything that comes with playing rugby. But I got to the stage where I just didn’t want to do it.”

By my reckoning, that's Ashe, Jones, Smith, Dunbar and Hogg spoken out about conditions at Glasgow being uncomfortable. Rennie was supposed to get Glasgow to kick on but it doesn't seem to have worked out all round. At least the Australian rugby players are famously mentally balanced.

[BigGee]

On a side note, there is another Skinner who plays for Exeter who is a young flyhalf, does anyone here know if he is a sibling of Sam Skinner and therefore qualified for scotland??

We have had this conversation a few times unfortunately and the answer is still no, he is not related to SS.

Edit

Opps, just noticed that Hazel has already answeeed that!

[BigGee]

I am actually looking forward to seeing Thompson back on the paddock. He has been so unlucky with injuries.

The flashes we have seen from the Blade Runner have hinted that he could be an upgrade on anyone else at No.8 presently.

[bsando]

We'll miss Duhan obviously, but Hoyland can shift so not a bad replacement at all. Pleased to see Taylor getting a shot at 12, and fingers crossed nothing happens to VDW.

Taylor at 12 is a good shout and I'm glad Dean is on the bench, but very much feel this is going to be a big ask for that backline. There is a lot of pressure on the pack to perform well tomorrow, losing DVDM and Groom is a big loss. If Sheil gets injured early on we'll have Nutton pulling the strings at 9 and he has only one cap for Edinburgh against Agen last November. Sheils last game starting was a poor performance so he'll need to improve his game tomorrow and deal with the pressure. Lets just pray Ben Lam is kept quiet, he was in good form for Hurricanes during Rugby Aotearoa.

[BigGee]

This is a big test for Sheil, but he had been on the books at Edinburgh for 3 years now, without ever putting in more than a cameo

Time for him to step up, plenty of other starlets don't get as many chances as he has had. He needs to justify that faith now and show us he can be a decent professional SH

[funnyExiledScot]

VDW and Kinghorn are going to need to play well with the boot, and keep us in the right areas. Game management against Ulster wasn't great, and will need to improve here. No silly mistakes from Kinghorn either.

I agree this is a massive ask, but our pack is in good shape with plenty on the bench, and we have some tricky runners in the backline in Johnstone, Graham and Hoyland. All hard to defend against.

[RDW]

Murray Douglas has won super rugby AU with the Brumbies and helped dismantle the Reds' lineout throughout. Was an entertaining final!

He seems to be settled in Australia but did well for Edinburgh last season.

He's 30 now so would be surprised if he would be interested in moving back to the UK, other than family reasons etc.

[RDW]

Time zone is working out so I'm actually able to watch the Edinburgh game. If Bordeaux are interested at all I can see it being a long afternoon for us.

[RDW]

Ominous start - Bordeaux looking up for it and we look knackered already. Could be a big loss if we don't get it together quickly.

[RDW]

Edinburgh playing like a sack of crap.

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